Sentinel

CHAPTER 10

I don’t remember leaving the dean’s office, but must have, and I assume no one tried to stop me. I needed to be alone. I needed space.

I made it to a room down the hall.

I stood inside, the door swinging shut behind me, my chest rising and falling rapidly. I was feeling too much—anger, hurt, loss, hate, love, and everything else that had been muted while Ares’ sons had been camped out inside my body. All the emotions at once were a poison in my blood. The lid on the bottle inside me had been completely unscrewed. Emotions broke the surface in a rush, and it felt like I had been drowning this whole time.

A burst of power left me.

The heavy oak desk in the corner, as well as a line of chairs and small tables, lifted into the air. They rose to the ceiling. My fingers curled in, nails digging into my palms. Wood creaked and groaned, then splintered. The furniture shattered like dry, brittle bones.

A volcano erupted inside me.

I opened my mouth and screamed. I didn’t recognize the sound. Windows cracked. Shards of glass fell, and stopped before they hit the floor.

It wasn’t enough—the destruction wasn’t enough. It could never be enough. Every cell inside me had been violated on a level I couldn’t begin to comprehend.

The room shook and the building shuddered as I took a step forward. My feet lifted off the floor. Below me, the tile warped and peeled up, breaking apart in large, uneven sections that rose into the air. Another shockwave of akasha rolled out from me. Blue light pulsed, incinerating the flooring.

In a flash, I felt the rage and shame of being so broken by Ares.

I hadn’t mourned all those who’d died at the hands of Ares until that moment.

I hadn’t feel the loving embrace of my mother’s arms or the loss of her all over again until that very second.

I felt the damage that’d been done to my body and head all over again.

I tasted the bite of fear and the tang of fury when I remembered the condition of Aiden’s hands when I first saw him after waking up. I tasted them again when I remembered seeing Marcus’ mangled face.

I felt the horror of pulling the trigger and killing Lucian.

I felt it all.

I felt alive, as if I was finally awake, and it was too much.

Another scream tore through me, and the walls trembled.

The door opened behind me, and I slowly turned around, breathing through my nose. Seth stood there. My feet touched the floor.

“You need to try to calm down,” he said. “Or you’re going to bring this whole building down.”

Calm down? Oh, shit was about to get real up in here.

I flew toward him, my arm snaking back. My fist cracked off his jaw, snapping his head back. Seth stumbled a step and bent over, clutching his face. The burst of pain flaring across my knuckles felt damn good.

“Gods,” he grunted.

Jerking my leg up, I slammed my knee into Seth’s stomach. A harsh expletive exploded from his mouth as I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and shoved him backward. He caught himself against the wall with one hand.

“Okay.” He spat out a mouthful of blood. “I’ll admit I deserved that.”

The stupid cord in me didn’t understand the violence, but it liked that I was touching him. For that reason alone, I dropped down low and spun. I took his legs out from underneath him. Seth folded like a paper sack, hitting the destroyed floor on his side.

I vaulted to my feet and then dropped into a crouch.

Seth was back up in record time, his golden brows slammed down. “Okay. You want to work out your aggression. I’m all for that, Angel.”

“Don’t.” I dipped under his arm and sprang up behind him. “Call.” I slammed my hands down on his shoulders and brought my knee up. “Me. That!”

Seth twisted away before I could say hello to his spine. He faced me, pushing the longer strands of hair out of his gleaming eyes. “Come on. Bring it, Angel.”

The sound that came from me would’ve sent most people scurrying for the hills.

He lifted his hand and gave the universal “come get some” sign. “Work it out of your system. You can’t kill me.”

I wasn’t sure if my anger was so much directed at him or if he just made for a very convenient punching bag, but I launched myself at him. I hit him in the midsection, knocking him backward. We crashed into what was left of the desk and toppled over it. In a rather impressive feat, Seth shifted and hit the floor under me, taking the brunt of the fall. I was on top of him, straddling him. My arms rose up and I brought them down on his chest, over and over. I hit him, and I kept hitting him. His face blurred through the sudden wetness in my eyes. What the hell? The dampness rose and spilled over. My hands ached, but I couldn’t stop. Tears streamed down my face and the whole time…the whole time Seth let me hit him. He didn’t raise a hand. He didn’t stop me.

My body shook and my arms ached. The sobs came from deep within me, from that dark and rotted-out place that had cropped up when Ares shattered my bones. My fists landed against Seth’s chest once more, weaker this time, and I couldn’t lift them. I hunched over, my chin dropping to my chest, and I cried so many tears I was sure I was going to drown the whole world with them.

“Stop.” Seth gripped my arms. “Come on, Angel, stop.”

I wished I could, because crying on top of Seth wasn’t my ideal way of licking my wounds in private. It was a whole lot of pathetic and awkward, but it was like the seal that kept me from crying had been broken. There was no turning back now.

Seth made a sound, and then he rolled. A second later I was lying on my side. For several long minutes, we were stretched out the floor like two idiots, his arms like a vise, restraining me from doing any more damage to him or the poor, unsuspecting room. It took more time than usual for the tears to finally ease off, and for me to calm down enough to speak.

“Why you?” I asked, my voice thick and gross-sounding.

Seth sat up slowly, pulling me into his lap, my back against his front. “And why not Aiden?”

I didn’t answer because it was obvious.

“You would’ve killed anyone else who came in this room.”

My head hung limply. “That wouldn’t have stopped him.”

“I had to tie him up and stash him in a closet.” When I stiffened, he tightened his arms and laughed. “I’m just kidding. I didn’t do anything other than use my deadliest weapon—logic. Apollo may’ve had to restrain him a bit, but he’s right outside this room waiting.”

“Logic?” I laughed, and although the sound and feel of it didn’t hurt, it sounded strange to me. “You never used that before.”

“I know.” He was quiet for a long moment. “But I’m very familiar with this kind of rage, Alex, and I know what you felt. And you haven’t really dealt with everything until now. Aiden thinks he knows how you feel, and maybe he has an idea, but I know what you felt and I know what you went through.”

I was still ashamed that anyone had been privy to those horrible, wretched moments when I’d prayed for death and wanted it more than I’d ever wanted anything. It was so weak, and I had been so broken, flayed open to the core.

Seth rested his head on mine and sighed. “I wasn’t lying. I never wanted something like that to happen. Out of everything I have done and caused to happen…it’s the one thing I can never ask forgiveness for.”

And I wasn’t sure I could ever truly forgive him. I knew he hadn’t done this to me, but he’d played a significant part in all of it. But I was too tired and just…too done with everything to hold onto the anger anymore, because it was doing what Ares and his sons wanted. It was chipping away at me, killing me.

I relaxed and closed my eyes, concentrating on the steady rise and fall of Seth’s chest. A little part of me still felt lost, and I wasn’t sure when I’d feel whole again or if I really ever would, but I knew what was happening right now. It was that connection between us and the calming effect it had.

Seth had done this before. He’d used it to calm me down when I’d had nightmares, and he’d used it to connect and control me, but now, when I was at my most vulnerable, he didn’t twist the connection back on me. He used it to help me.

Some time passed before I was in any condition to stand and face things. My legs and arms felt strangely weak. I glanced over my shoulder at Seth and cringed. A deep crimson stain was already spreading across his jaw. “Sorry about your…face.”

Our eyes met, and an uneven grin appeared on his face. “No, you’re not.”

“You’re right.”

Seth stepped forward, and I eyed him wryly. “You know you can take a time out, right? Take the rest of the day to just, I don’t know, deal with it all. Get some rest.”

I was exhausted in the way one felt only after going through an emotional upheaval. The idea of laying my little head down on a soft pillow was more appealing than eating cheese fries loaded with bacon. “I’m sure Apollo has a reason for showing up other than yanking those freaks out of me.”

“He can wait.” Concern flickered in Seth’s eyes, and it was odd seeing that. As long as I’d known Seth, it was rare to genuinely see him care about someone other than himself. Then again, I wasn’t giving him credit. I’d changed. He’d changed.

“No. I’m fine.” I turned to the door. “We don’t have time for me to take a nap.”

“We have time.” Seth followed me. “Not like tomorrow is going to be any different than today.”

Who really knew if that was true? Denying the urge to agree and go find the nearest bed, I opened the door. It was slightly off its hinges, so it scraped the floor and opened only halfway. I sighed as I squeezed through. I wasn’t surprised when I saw Aiden and Marcus leaning against the opposite wall. Both seemed to relax a little when they saw me standing and obviously not looking like I’d stuck my hand in an electric socket.

Though I did come to an abrupt halt when my gaze centered on Aiden again. It was like seeing him for the first time—the broad cheekbones, the full, expressive lips, his dark, unruly hair, and those brilliant smoky-gray eyes. A veil had lifted from my vision, and I couldn’t—didn’t want to look away. How much had Ares’ sons affected? Everything, it seemed.

Marcus’ gaze shifted over my shoulder, and his brows rose. A small grin tipped up the corner of Aiden’s lips. No doubt he was happy to see that I was unscathed while, on the other hand, Seth looked like he’d run into a wall.

My uncle recovered first, stepping forward. “Are you okay, Alexandria?”

“Other than the fact I just spewed out two gods like a drunk college chick? I’m feeling fabulous.”

Relief shuttled across his face. He clapped a hand on my shoulder. “There’s my niece.”

I cracked a grin at that while I kept an eye on the two guys. Aiden and Seth were eyeballing one another like they were about to start boy-fight, round two.

Marcus squeezed my shoulder and then dropped his hand. For him, that was a whole exercise in bonding, and I was okay with that. I turned, catching Seth’s attention. My eyes narrowed and his rolled. Raising his hands in surrender, he pivoted around and headed into the dean’s office. Marcus was right behind him. Before I entered the room, Aiden caught my arm and stopped me. We were alone in the hall.

“Alex,” he said, his voice low and rough.

Turning to him, I looked up and met his gaze. My mouth opened, but a sudden knot clogged my throat. I threw myself forward, pressing my forehead against his chest and breathing him in. He shuddered, and then he wrapped his strong arms around me. He dropped his head, pressing his cheek to the top of my head as he held me in a tight, heart-melting embrace. I clung to him like a deranged baby monkey, soaking in his warmth and the absolute feel of him. There was a lot we needed to talk about, but this hug? Gods, I needed this hug.

I needed this hug from Aiden.

“Shit, Alex…”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I let out a choked laugh. “It’s funny when you cuss.”

“Only you would laugh at something like that,” he said, and I heard the relieved amusement in his voice. Fingertips appeared under my chin, and Aiden lifted my gaze to his moonlight-colored one. “You’re with me now?”

I blinked back tears. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

“Good.” His thumb smoothed over my jaw as his intense gaze searched my face. “I’m happy to have you back.”

Turning my cheek into his palm, I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m the one who should be apologizing, especially for last night. I was jealous, and that was stupid, I know, but I’m—”

“No.” I shook my head slightly. “No, you were right to be upset, but that’s not what I’m talking about. That’s not what I’m apologizing for.”

His brows rose.

My chest ached. “I know…I know there was a part of you that was okay with the idea of us having a baby. I know there was a part of you that was excited in spite of everything else, and I’m sorry that’s not what was going on. I’m sorry that it was this and not—”

“Stop.” Aiden dropped his forehead to mine and slid his strong hands up to cup my cheeks. “You do not need to apologize. Ever. Do you understand me? None of this is your fault. And you haven’t done anything wrong. What we thought? It doesn’t matter.”

“You have to be disappointed,” I whispered, curling my fingers around his wrists.

“Never,” he swore. “If anything, I’m upset this happened to you. I’m freaking pissed that it did, but, Alex, we have a lifetime ahead of us to have that conversation and feel that way again.”

My breath caught. “You’re perfect.”

“And you know that’s not true.”

“It is.”

A throat cleared behind us, and then Apollo said, “Seriously, you two? It’s not like you’re keeping a god waiting or anything.”

Aiden drew back with a soft groan. “Sometimes I hate him.”

My lips curved up. “Sometimes.”

“I heard that,” Apollo said. “And I’m pretty sure there’s someone else you hate more than me. I’ll give you two clues. Starts with an S and ends with an H.”

There was an audible huff from inside the office.

I started to grin.

“Well, you got that right.” Aiden’s eyes were fixed on me. “You want to do this right now?”

I nodded, and then Aiden lowered his head once more, kissing me in a way that truly felt like the very first time. When he lifted his head, his eyes shone with everything he was feeling in that moment. I knew what he’d said moments before was the truth. He believed we had a lifetime to feel that odd little burgeoning of hope again, and I latched onto that.

Together, we turned and headed past Apollo. He followed us in and took up stance in the middle of the room. “Well, the gang’s all here. Almost. We are missing a few, but this will do.”

We were missing Solos, Luke, and Olivia, and it didn’t feel right that they weren’t here. And it felt really weird that Seth was here. He was leaning against the wall where the daggers had once hung. He arched a brow at me.

“Your mark should be gone, which means the twins won’t be able to get back into you,” Apollo said, and I resisted the urge to yank my shirt up and check right then. Then he turned to Seth. “And don’t think you and me are okay. It’s great you’re no longer Ares’ little bitch-boy, but you’re still a punk-ass.”

Aiden snickered.

“And I hope your jaw really hurts,” Apollo added.

Seth smirked. “Hey, if you want to go a few rounds again, Golden Boy, we can do it.”

“This is an awesome start to our Army of Awesome meeting number two,” Deacon murmured.

The air around Apollo crackled, and I let out a loud sigh and propped myself against a chair. “So, I’m assuming you had a reason for coming here besides helping me and arguing with Seth.”

“That’s right.”

I waited, and when Apollo said nothing, I crossed my arms. “And that would be?”

“We need a plan,” he replied.

“Wow.” Seth folded his arms. “That’s a unique concept.”

“Seth,” I hissed, shooting him a look.

“That’s okay,” Apollo replied, smiling at Seth in a wholly creepy “hide your kids” kind of way. “When you least expect it, I’m going to turn you into a pink flower that smells like cat pee.”

I choked on my laugh. “Oh, my gods…”

Seth’s eyes narrowed into thin, amber slits, but before he could volley back, a whole different conversation sprouted out of the depths of my very own personal hell.

“I’m sorry.” Marcus was leaning against the desk, looking a bit green. “Am I the only one stuck on the fact that these two thought they might’ve been…that you could’ve been…that there might have been…?”

“That we could’ve made you a great-uncle,” I supplied since he’d obviously run out of words. His eyes narrowed, and heat spread across my cheeks. “Can we not talk about that right now?”

“I second that,” Aiden muttered, shifting awkwardly.

“I disagree.” Apollo’s “hide your kids” smile was now spreading across his face. “This conversation is going to be epically entertaining.”

“For you.” Aiden cut him a dark look.

“Exactly,” the god replied.

Marcus ignored that. “I don’t know how many times I’ve told you two that you shouldn’t be sharing a room.” He turned to me. “I don’t care how old you are or that you’re an Apollyon, Alexandria. You’re my niece; therefore, I am responsible for you. And you?” He spun on Aiden, whose eyes widened. “You know better.”

“Oh my gods,” I moaned. I rather have run naked through the quad then had this conversation both with my uncle and with an audience. Especially with this audience.

“Don’t ‘oh my gods’ me.” The color had returned to Marcus’ face. It was red. “Do I really need to have a conversation with you about responsible sexual activity?”

Seth looked like he wanted to shove a dagger in his eye.

“I think you do,” Apollo suggested.

“Oh! You’re one to talk!” I whirled on Apollo. “Seriously? If I was to Google ‘irresponsible sexual activity,’ it would be your picture staring back at me!”

Apollo made a face at me—actually made a face at me like he was ten years old or something.

Marcus was now staring at Aiden like he wanted to take his dagger and use it on Aiden in an area much lower than the eyeballs.

“Okay, can we move on to the important stuff?” I demanded, losing my patience. “If not, then this is wasting my time, and I’m going to bed. That just might include irresponsible sex, because I’ve had a really crappy day!”

Five sets of eyes settled on me. One set was particularly interested in what I had just said.

“What?” I rolled my eyes, scowling. “Get on with it.”

Apollo sent Seth one more scathing look, which I was sure wouldn’t be the last one directed at the First. “As I said, we need a plan, and although I have many talents…”

For some reason, I couldn’t help but look at Deacon. He flushed.

“I am not a strategist, not like Ares.”

The look on Seth’s face said he was wondering why Apollo was here then, but before he could vocalize that opinion, another fissure of energy whipped through the air. The aether in my veins hummed, and the marks raced to the surface. Seth and I stiffened in anticipation.

A shimmery blue form appeared and then solidified beside Apollo. A second before, there had been nothing but a glittery waterfall, and now there was a tall brunette woman dressed in a tailored business suit. Her hair was pulled up in a tight bun, which did nothing to lessen the ethereal beauty of her face. In her slim, almost delicate-looking hands, she held a rolled parchment.

Gods were like opossums. You could go your whole life without seeing one, but once you found one of them, you found the whole freaky family.

Every pure in the room bowed, leaving Seth and me standing straight like two douches. We apparently were a little slow on the show of respect. The goddess didn’t seem to notice or care.

“Athena, please meet the, uh…Army of Awesome.” Apollo arched a brow. “Or whatever they are calling themselves.”

The goddess of wisdom, strategy, and a whole slew of other things inclined her head. “Nice title.”

“Nice suit,” I said, my gaze dipping to her pointy heels.

Her all-white eyes centered on me, and one side of her lips tipped up. “I picked it up at Saks along with this amazing leather satchel and these to-die-for shoes.”

“Oh.” I slid Aiden a glance. He studiously ignored me. “They’re very nice, too.”

She strode forward, placing the parchment on the desk. Marcus swallowed and stepped to the side, giving the goddess a wide berth. It was a map. A really crudely drawn map of trees, mountains that looked like upside-down Vs, and stick people. Apparently, drawing was not one of Athena’s skills. “The plan, and I assume that has not changed,” she paused, passing an arched look between Seth and me, “will require the God Killer to get close to Ares. Currently, he’s camped out—”

“In the Catskills,” Seth interrupted, and I thought of my father. He was there. Seth came forward, eyeing the map. “He’s got around the same number of Sentinels that I have here with me, plus mortals. All of them are under compulsion.”

“Ares’ compulsion?” Marcus asked, and when Seth nodded, my uncle sighed. “There’s no way to break a compulsion from a god, is there?”

“Not unless you take out the god, or so we assume,” Apollo said. “Dionysus has confirmed that the mortal encampment is several miles out from the Catskills.”

“We would have to get past them, and then get through the walls of the New York Covenant, which are guarded by Sentinels.” Seth tapped his finger along what appeared to be an uneven brick wall, squinting. “But that’s not all. Ares is heavily guarded.”

“Guarded by what?” I asked.

“Daimons,” Seth said, looking away. “And you know how he’s controlling them.”

My stomach roiled. I did. He was feeding them pures and probably halfs—dinner in exchange for loyalty. I remembered the days when the Council didn’t believe daimons could reason. Now the daimons had most likely drained those Council members dry.

“And the automatons.” Athena glanced at Apollo. “Hephaestus has completely lost control of them.”

The god sighed. “Don’t start.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I warned all of you that using them was a bad idea. We had no idea what god was responsible for this, and using a creature designed for war without such knowledge was a poor plan.”

It was. The half-machine, half-bull fire-breathing creatures had turned on us and were now under Ares’ control.

“So not only will your…” Her nose wrinkled. “Your Army of Awesome have to get past the mortals, they will have to face Sentinels, daimons and automatons before even reaching Ares.”

Aiden folded his arms. “That is, if he doesn’t come after us the moment we set foot out of the University.”

“He won’t.” Athena tapped her finger down on a square, which I assumed was the Covenant building. “He knows how heavily entrenched he is, and moving an army would make him vulnerable to attack. Before the First left him, he would’ve risked it. But not now that he knows the God Killer is coming for him. He will remain where he is and wait for you to come to him. He knows you will suffer losses in the process.”

The truth weighed heavily. We would suffer losses.

“Getting past the mortals will not be hard,” she continued. “The loss of their lives will be unfortunate, but we have to sacrifice the few to save the many. Then there are the Sentinels, daimons and automatons, but it is fighting Ares that will take everything.”

“We can’t just zap him with a God Killer bolt and call it a day?” I asked.

Athena arched a brow. “It’s not like he’s going to stand still and allow you to do that, and we know what happened last time you faced off with him.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” I muttered.

“It is only to serve a much-needed point. None of you are trained to battle a god, let alone Ares. Even I couldn’t prepare you, not effectively. He can and will outmaneuver and out-plan you, and he knows that.” Athena waved a hand over the map, and it disappeared. Neat trick. I was jealous.

“So are you saying that we cannot defeat him, not even with the God Killer?” Marcus asked, and the crinkled skin around his eyes appeared more noticeable.

“No.” She faced us and hopped up on the desk, demurely crossing her legs. “War is partially strength, partially skill, and partially psychological. We have the strength in the Apollyons and the Sentinels, but we do not have the skill, and we do not have anything that will put Ares at unease. Without the last two factors, we will not succeed.”

I frowned. “Are you also the goddess of depressing facts?”

Apollo snorted.

“I am just being realistic,” she stated coolly. “But I do have an idea.”

Here we go. A bit of excitement thrummed through me. An idea was better than everything else she’d been spouting, because right now, I didn’t need Phobos and Deimos inside my head to believe we were embarking on a suicide mission.

“It is a risky idea, but we really have no other choice. If the God Killer fails, it will be an all-out war, and we know what happened the last time the gods went to war,” Athena said.

Aiden shifted his weight. “Thousands died.”

“And it will be millions this time.” Apollo studied the goddess. “What is your idea?”

A small smile appeared. “We use Perses.”

Apollo stiffened, and I didn’t understand the reaction. “The demigod? Are we going to go slay Medusa or something?”

“No. Not Perseus. Perses.”

I stared at her. “Okay. I’ll admit, I slept or doodled through most of my classes. I have no idea who you’re talking about.”

“That is a lovely discovery.” Marcus pierced me with his Dean of Academics stare. I withered like a poor little flower left out in the sun without water.

“Perses is the god of destruction and war,” Apollo explained, eyes wide. “He was nearly indestructible and nearly unstoppable.”

I shook my head as I glanced at Aiden, relieved to see he looked just as clueless as me. “Okay. Is there another god of war that I’m unaware of?”

“You guys populate like rabbits,” Seth added, grinning slightly. “It could be possible we haven’t heard of him.”

Deacon’s lips twitched, but Athena’s next words knocked the smile off his face and silenced the entire room.

“No,” she said. “Perses is not an Olympian. He is the Titan god of destruction.”