Secrets Of The Jedi

Chapter 28

"You're going to tell me to live in the present moment," Padme said to Anakin. "But I can't help it. We have the codebreaker. We have a chance now to end it all, a real chance."

They were in her stateroom, the one they had insisted on giving Padme, the largest and most comfortable. She of course had tried to refuse. She could sleep in the cargo hold, or in a chair, she didn't care. They knew this was true, but something about Padme made beings want to give to her.

He wanted to give her everything, but of course, she would not want it. Navigating his marriage with Padme was like stumbling through a dark room sometimes, Anakin thought. He had believed on their wedding day that love would see them through any difficulty. What they felt was so huge that it would crash through every barrier.

He still believed that with all his heart. But he had not imagined, on the day of his wedding, that some of those barriers would lie within his wife herself. He did not think that he wouldn't be able to talk her out of putting herself in danger. He had secretly hoped that, in time, she would resign her Senate seat. As the wars went on, she would see how ridiculous it was to try to talk planets out of something that would bring them more power or more wealth.

Now he saw how naive he'd been. She would never quit the Senate. She would keep talking about justice with the last breath in her body. She believed that words mattered.

He accepted that. He was even proud of her reputation as a sharp-tongued orator. In the Senate, held together somehow by the strength of Palpatine, she had made enemies. He feared for her. It was a nameless dread that sometimes could clutch him by the throat and drive the air from his lungs.

"We're not at Azure yet," he said. "And it won't he long before the Separatists come after us. Did you see how Magus targeted Taly? Now they know that Taly has contacted us, and that means he cannot be allowed to live. If he throws his knowledge on the side of the Republic, they'll do anything to stop him. His life is not safe until the Clone Wars are over."

"I didn't think of that," Padme said. "Of course that is true."

"The Jedi must remain on Azure to ensure that the Republic experts can deploy the codebreaker. Then we must accompany the experts to another safe location. At least in the beginning, we're going to have to keep moving. That's why you must return immediately to Coruscant with Taly."

Her expression turned flinty. "That sounds like another order."

"No. It is a necessary step to protect you and Taly, and you know it. And it is a request," he said, softening his voice. He was relieved when he saw her slowly nod.

"All right."

"Padme." He reached out for her hand. He needed the reassurance he felt when he touched her. "Your job lies in the Senate. My job lies is in the field. Until these wars are over, that is the way it must be."

"I hate these separations."

"No more than I."

"We chose this life," she said. "But it's so hard to live it."

"It's worth it, to know that you're mine. But if anything happened to you, I don't know how I could survive it. I can't… I can't lose you."

"I feel the same."

She stood, her cool fingers sliding out from between his. She began to pace. "But the secrecy is tearing me apart. I'm always afraid I'll betray us with a look or a word. Sometimes I wonder…"

"What?" he asked. If she hadn't been so agitated, she would have recognized the tone in his voice, a warning.

She whirled to face him. "Did we do the right thing? Not in loving each other — we couldn't help that — but in marrying? I've put a wedge between you and the Jedi."

"No, you haven't."

"But your first loyalty is to me," Padme said. "That makes your path confused. I know enough about the Jedi to know how wrong that is."

"It is they who are wrong." Ana kin insisted. "I am strong enough to do both, and they can't see it."

The comm unit crackled, and they sprang apart instinctively. They heard Obi-Wan's voice. "Anakin, are you there? Come to the cockpit immediately."

They hurried down the corridor into the cockpit. Taly was standing with the codebreaker. There was a mixture of awe and trepidation on Obi-Wan's face.

"It works," Obi-Wan said. "We've been listening to coded Separatist communications. It really works."

"There's too much space interference here," Taly said. "We have to get to the spaceport. Clearing devices can be used with it But we were able to hear something."

"What did you hear?" Anakin asked.

"They are moving ships and troops," Obi-Wan said. "A massive battle is planned. But we can't seem to pinpoint the location. Originally, it seemed to be planned for Nativum, which we suspected. But that changed to a new target recently."

"If we find out in time, we could score a great victory," Padme said.

Obi-Wan nodded. "We could destroy most of their fleet."

Padme gripped the console. "If General Grievous is with it, we could win the war," she said.