Roadside Picnic

FROM AN INTERVIEW BY A SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT FROM HARMONT RADIO WITH DOCTOR VALENTINE PILMAN, RECIPIENT OF THE NOBEL PRIZE IN PHYSICS FOR 19..

“I suppose that your first serious discovery, Dr. Pilman, should be considered what is now called the Pilman Radiant?”

“I don’t think so. The Pilman Radiant wasn’t the first, nor was it serious, nor was it really a discovery. And it wasn’t completely mine, either.”

“Surely you’re joking, doctor. The Pilman Radiant is a concept known to every schoolchild.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. According to some sources, the Pilman Radiant was discovered by a schoolboy. Unfortunately, I don’t remember his name. Look it up in Stetson’s History of the Visitation—it’s described in full detail there. His version is that the radiant was discovered by a schoolboy, that a college student published the coordinates, but that for some unknown reason it was named after me.”

“Yes, many amazing things can happen with a discovery. Would you mind explaining it to our listeners, Dr. Pilman?”

“The Pilman Radiant is simplicity itself. Imagine that you spin a huge globe and you start firing bullets into it. The bullet holes would lie on the surface in a smooth curve. The whole point of what you call my first serious discovery lies in the simple fact that all six Visitation Zones are situated on the surface of our planet as though someone had taken six shots at Earth from a pistol located somewhere along the Earth-Deneb line. Deneb is the alpha star in Cygnus. The point in the heavens from which, so to speak, the shots came is the Pilman Radiant.”

“Thank you, doctor. My fellow Harmonites! Finally we have heard a clear explanation of the Pilman Radiant! By the way, the day before yesterday was the thirtieth anniversary of the Visitation. Dr. Pilman, would you care to say a few words to your fellow townsmen on the subject?”

“What in particular interests you? Remember, I wasn’t in Harmont at the time.”

“That makes it even more interesting to hear what you felt when your hometown became the site of an invasion from a supercivilization from space.”

“To tell the truth, I first thought it was a hoax. It was hard to imagine that anything like that could possibly happen in our little Harmont. Gobi or Newfoundland seemed more likely than Harmont.”

“Nevertheless, you finally had to believe it.”

“Finally—yes.”

“And then?”

“It suddenly occurred to me that Harmont and the other five Visitation Zones—sorry, my mistake, there were only four other sites known at the time—that all of them fit on a very smooth curve. I calculated the coordinates and sent them to Nature. “

“And you weren’t at all concerned with the fate of your hometown?”

“Not really. You see, by then I had come to believe in the Visitation, but I simply could not force myself to believe the hysterical reports about burning neighborhoods and monsters that selectively devoured only old men and children and about bloody battles between the invulnerable invaders and the highly vulnerable but steadfastly courageous Royal Tank Units.”

“You were right. I remember that our reporters really botched the story. But let’s return to science. The discovery of the Pilman Radiant was the first, but probably not the last, of your contributions to our knowledge of the Visitation!”

“The first and last.”

“But surely you have been carefully following the international research in the Visitation Zones?”

“Yes. Once in a while I read the Reports.”

“You mean the Reports of the International Institute of Extraterrestrial Cultures?”

“Yes.”

“And what, in your opinion, has been the most important discovery in these thirty years?”

“The fact of the Visitation itself.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“The fact of the Visitation itself is the most important discovery not only of the past thirty years but of the entire history of mankind. It’s not so important to know just who these visitors were. It’s not important to know where they came from, why they came, why they spent so little time here, or where they disappeared to since. The important thing is that humanity now knows for sure: we are not alone in the universe. I fear that the Institute of Extraterrestrial Cultures will never be fortunate enough to make a more fundamental discovery.”

“This is very fascinating, Dr. Pilman, but actually I was thinking more of advances and discoveries of a technological nature. Discoveries that our earth scientists and engineers could use. After all, many very important scientists have proposed that the discoveries made in the Visitation Zones are capable of changing the entire course of our history.”

“Well, I don’t subscribe to that point of view. And as for specific discoveries—that’s not my field.”

“Yet for the past two years you’ve been Canadian consultant to the UN Commission on Problems of the Visitation.”

“Yes. But I have nothing to do with the study of extraterrestrial cultures. On the commission my colleagues and I represent the international scientific community when questions come up on implementing UN decisions regarding the internationalization of the Zones. Roughly speaking, we make sure that the extraterrestrial marvels found in the Zones come into the hands of the International Institute.”

“Is there anyone else after these treasures?”

“Yes.”

“You probably mean stalkers!”

“I don’t know what they are.”

“That’s what we in Harmont call the thieves who risk their lives in the Zone to grab everything they can lay their hands on. It’s become a whole new profession.”

“I understand. No, that’s not within our competence.”

“I should think not. That’s police business. But I would be interested in knowing just what does fall within your competence, Dr. Pilman.”

“There is a steady leak of materials from the Visitation Zones into the hands of irresponsible persons and organizations. We deal with the results of these leaks.”

“Could you be a little more specific, doctor?”

“Can’t we talk about the arts instead? Wouldn’t the listeners care to know my opinion of the incomparable Gôdi Müller?”

“Of course! But I would like to finish with science first. As a scientist, aren’t you drawn to dealing with the extraterrestrial treasures yourself?”

“How can I put it? I suppose so.”

“Then, we can hope that one fine day Harmonites will see their famous fellow citizen on the streets of his home town?”

“It’s not impossible.”