River Marked

MERCY’S LETTER TO ADAM

Dearest Adam,

If you are reading this, I guess it means I didn’t make it out this time. Damn. I was really worried about this one, and if there had been any way out of it, I’d have found it.

Words aren’t my best thing, not when it’s time to tell you how I feel—but you know that. I’m much better with actions than explaining myself. I think it’s because I don’t think in words about you. How can I reduce what I feel for you to mere letters on a page? “I love you” doesn’t seem big enough somehow, and everything else I tried (you can go through that little garbage can under the sink if you want to see the drafts of this letter) sounds like really bad poetry, which is even worse, so I’ll just stick to the simple words. I love you, Adam.

I want you to know that I fought to get back to you. I didn’t take the easy way out. I didn’t give up. I fought this death because I had you waiting for me on the shore. If it had been possible to drag this puny mortal flesh back to you, I would have done it, if I had to crawl to do so. I would have walked through Hell to get back to you, and only failed because of the weakness of my body, not of my heart.

Don’t push Jesse away. She needs you more than she’s willing to admit. I was going to tell you to go hunt down a woman who will love you, but I find that I’m not a big enough person to do that. Still, don’t feel guilty when you do, okay? And don’t leave her waiting for years (like you did me) because you think you are too old, too Alpha, too whatever. Just make sure she treasures you properly.

Love you,

Mercy