Pus Junkies

—6—

The first thing he noticed that morning was the size of the zit on his lip. It looked ready.

I can’t go to the party with that thing on my face.

Even though the tip had turned white, and it shone like a teary eye, it still wouldn’t give. Kip grunted in frustration as he squeezed, but the thing only became more irritated, made his lip puff up.

God, I look awful.

The pimples looked especially bad that morning. Had grown worse in the last 48 hours. Part of him wondered if he was having some kind of skin emergency, that maybe he should get Zak to drive him to the hospital or something. Some kind of side effect or allergic reaction to the pills. Every inch of his chest and back was covered in red fleshy bumps, most of them topped with a fat, glistening whitehead. It looked like if he so much as flexed, they would burst and spray pus and blood all over the place.

He pulled his boxer shorts down and stared at the massive bumps on his ass. He prodded them with his finger, sucked in a quick breath as tiny bursts of pleasure flashed across his skin.

The zits on his forehead, cheeks, chin, and nose all begged to be popped, but he left them alone. It was a battle he wouldn’t win, and even if he popped each one, it wouldn’t help his appearance. Trading white-tipped bumps for scabby open wounds.

Just don’t think about it. Do like Zak said. Be confident. If Gwendolyn is at the party, show her that you’re not scared.

“Yeah, right.”

Knock, knock, knock.

“You jerking your dick in there, cousin? Hurry up, I gotta massive load to drop!”

“Okay okay.” Kip gave himself another long look in the mirror before pulling a t-shirt over his head and slipping into his favorite jeans. When he opened the door, he was nearly trampled by Zak who didn’t even wait for him to leave before dropping his pants and popping a squat right there on the toilet.

“Sorry, Kip. Emergency.”

Kip shut the door as fast as he could so he wouldn’t have to endure anymore, and just as the door clicked, Zak’s voice rang out.

“And if you think you’re going to the party wearing that, you’re dead wrong. We’re going shopping today, cousin.”

Kip had been hoping Zak would let him borrow another shirt anyway. He wanted to look his best for Gwendolyn, though he still doubted she’d be there at all. He couldn’t imagine her taking part in Senior Skip Day, but then again a day ago, he would have said the same thing about himself.

Just thinking about her sent tremors through his body, made his skin so sensitive that every movement, every step he took was ecstasy. He wanted nothing more than to hide away somewhere and pop each and every zit on his body. Better than jacking off. But he forced the thoughts from his mind, focused on preparing himself mentally for tonight.

Once Zak was finished, they both agreed to pick up some breakfast on their way to the store. It felt weird not going to school on a Tuesday. Felt wrong. Kip couldn’t shake the panicky feeling swelling in his belly.

“You all right?” Zak asked through a mouthful of sausage biscuit.

“Huh? I’m… I’m fine.” Kip had ordered a coffee, thought it would help calm him, but it only made him more nervous, more jittery.

“Come on. What’s the matter?”

“This feels so… bad. I’ve never done anything like this before. And also… you know…”

“Nervous about tonight?”

Kip nodded, stuffed the rest of his hashbrown into his mouth.

“Don’t forget what I told you, Kip. Be confident, okay? The look you’ve got on your face right now, the way your hands won’t sit still, it looks nervous. Girls don’t like nervous.”

Kip lifted his hands in front of his face and glared at them as if it was the first time he’d ever seen them. “What do I do with my hands then?”

“I don’t know, shove them in your pockets. Let them just hang at your sides. Just stop fidgeting so much. Shit, you’re starting to make me nervous just watching you.”

Kip crossed his arms, sort of leaned to the side. “How about this?”

“Better. You look relaxed which is good. What are you going to say to her when you see her?”

Kip hadn’t put any thought into that at all. “Um, I don’t know. I can ask her how she thinks she did on our History test, or—”

“No. You won’t mention school at all. Ask her about herself. What kinds of things she likes to do, her favorite movie, band, food, whatever. Get her talking, man. Girls love talking. Don’t talk about yourself until she asks, got it?”

Kip almost doubled over as his flesh got to pulsating again, the thrashing becoming more and more violent as his anxiety filled him like the pus in his zits.

“Zak… I don’t think I can do this. It sounds too complicated, and I know I’ll mess up. I know I’ll make a fool out of myself. In front of anyone.”

Zak hit him. Cocked his fist back and slugged Kip right in the arm. There was no acne on the spot of impact, and an explosion of pain erupted there on his bicep, and his arm hung limp from his shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for!”

“What do you think? Every time you try and puss out on me, I’m gonna hit you again. Same spot every time.”

Throb… throb… throb.

Zak tilted his head, squinted as he stared at Kip’s face.

Kip quickly turned away from him. “What?”

“Your… your face. I swear to god I just saw it moving. The pimples were like… beating.”

“Oh, real nice, Zak. Like I’m not self-conscious about them enough already?”

“I was looking right at you, Kip. They moved, I’m serious.”

Kip kept his head turned, willed his flesh to calm, to relax. After a few minutes it did, and he turned back to face his cousin. “You’re seeing things.”

“Oh yeah? Then why wouldn’t you look at me?”

“Because I’m embarrassed, okay! I know how awful my skin looks, and seeing you staring at it like that kind of made me feel like a freak.”

Kip, of course, knew Zak was telling the truth. But he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know why his skin acted the way it did, knew it wasn’t normal for acne to pulsate like that. His acne was different, special. Super human.

“You’re right, man. I’m sorry. Didn’t mean anything by it.”

Kip waved it off. “Don’t worry about it. I’m the Toad, remember? I’m used to people staring and laughing at me.”

“Does… does it hurt? It looks really painful.”

“Nah. Not really. I can hardly tell it’s there until I look in the mirror. Or, you know, when people stare. But it doesn’t bother me too bad.”

“Well, I’ll get you some clothes that are so sharp, nobody will even notice the zits. Bet on that.”

“Okay. Yeah… that sounds good.”

They went straight to the mall then, and Kip spotted a lot of students there from their high school. All enjoying Senior Skip Day. Kip couldn’t help but wonder if anyone at all showed up to class, if the hallways were empty. He imagined tumble weeds blowing through the halls, teachers looking lost and confused.

Zak dragged Kip into a few different stores, Kip feeling uncomfortable and out of place in every single one of them. Every shirt, every pair of jeans Zak picked out, Kip shook his head.

“I’ll look stupid in that.”

Zak had clearly been doing his best to remain patient, but now he looked exhausted. He massaged his temples, spoke with his eyes closed. “Kip… cousin. The point is you want to try something different, right? Different means it might feel uncomfortable at first. But you gotta trust me. I’m picking something… right now… and you don’t have a choice, understand?”

Kip tried to protest, but just lowered his head and nodded. Zak was trying to do something nice for him, he knew that. But he couldn’t help but feel like a complete idiot. He just knew he would be the laughing stock of the entire party when he walked in wearing a button down shirt and khaki slacks.

You’re going to be the laughing stock of the party no matter what you wear, Toad.

“Here,” Zak said, forcing a smile as he thrust the new clothes into Kip’s arms. “Go try this on.”

“All right.”

Kip had to admit, the clothes looked pretty damn good once he had them on. Not nearly as bad as he had thought. And he didn’t look as skinny in that shirt, couldn’t see his pimples poking out like hard nipples all over his torso.

When Gwendolyn sees me in this, she’ll freak. She’ll notice me for sure.

Kip was suddenly overcome with excitement for the party to start. He knew the other kids would give him a hard time at first, even with Zak there with him, but he didn’t care. Before the night was over, they would accept him. They wouldn’t outcast him anymore, wouldn’t spend so much energy making sure he was miserable every single day of the week.

Kip stepped out, trying not to grin too hard.

Zak whistled. “Damn, cousin. If I was a chick, I’d totally fuck you and have your babies.”

“Shut up. Does it really look okay?” Kip turned his hips, held out his arms.

“Looks great, man. How do you feel?”

“I feel pretty damn good actually. I’m kind of getting excited.”

“That’s what I’m talking about, cousin. Yes! You’ll never forget this night, I promise.”

Kip hoped he was right.

“I wanna see you again.” Chuck paced back and forth in front of Jade’s house, the cell phone pressed hard to his ear. Her dad’s car was in the driveway, but he didn’t give a shit.

“Well that’s too bad. I’m getting ready for the party right now.”

“We’ve still got over an hour before it starts. Can’t we spend some time together first? Come on, Jade. Don’t fuck with me like this.”

“Call your girlfriend, asshole.”

Click.

“Shit!” Chuck slammed his fist into his chest, stared up at Jade’s bedroom window. Her shadow moved back and forth behind the drape, and even from that distance, he could see the shape of her body. God, he wanted her so bad.

He knew his night was going to be filled with Chelsea’s babble, her and all her cheerleader friends. And when they got drunk it was even worse.

It was Jade he wanted. Yes, he wanted to fuck her. He never wanted to stop fucking her. But he wanted more than that. He wanted her all to himself. And as soon as she said he could have her, he would break it off with Chelsea so damn fast…

Fuck.

“What’s the deal, Chuck? Can we get goin’ or what?” Jerrod said, fixing his hair as he stared into the side mirror.

“Yeah, come on. How long we gonna sit out here. She ain’t comin’ out, man. And who gives a fuck. There’ll be plenty of pussy at the party.” Cash ignited his lighter and touched the flame down onto the bowl he’d been smoking. He offered the glass pipe to Chuck.

Chuck took a hit, held in the smoke as he glared up at Jade’s window. He blew it out, handed the pipe back to Cash. “Y’all shut the fuck up. We’ll stay out here all fucking night if I say so.”

Neither one of them talked back, but they smacked their lips, clicked their tongues.

“Fuck it. You’re right. We can have our pick of the ass tonight. Right, fellas?” Chuck slapped hands with both of his friends as they agreed. “Fuck this bitch. I’m sick of her shit.”

As they drove away, Chuck let Jade dissolve from his mind. Chelsea too.

It was Zak and Toad that filled his thoughts now. They were all he’d been thinking about for days. He dreamed about them, jerked his dick while he imagined stomping their fucking heads in.

And tonight, he would show Jade who the real man was. He would show Jade that she picked the wrong dude.

You’re mine, bitch. He can’t have you. Nobody can.