Petty Pewter Gods

43

I awakened in an alley. Surprise. Surprise, I did it with a face nose to nose with mine. I was going in circles. At least it was a different face each time. "This is getting old." I tried to grab a throat again, but this scroat was no ratman. He was strong. He lifted me one-handed and shook me till my teeth wobbled. "Mom?" I asked. She used to shake me if I did something especially irritating. When I was still small enough to snake.

"Huh?"

Oh-oh. Another mental marvel.

He held me at arm's length so he could check me out. Turnabout is fair play. I checked him out right back.

He had long, wavy blonde hair. He had blue eyes to kill for. One blue eye, anyway. The other was covered by a black leather patch. He was nine feet tall. He was gorgeous. He had muscles on top of his muscles. Obviously, he didn't have much to do but work on his physique and study himself in a mirror.

I'd never seen his like running loose in TunFaire, so I assumed he was another pesky pewter god, though neither Godoroth nor Shayir.

"Now what?" I muttered. "Who the hell are you?"

My body still felt young and tough enough to whip its weight in wildcats.

Pretty boy shook me again.

Whip its weight in gerbils?

"You will speak when spoken to."

"Yeah. Right." Thought I was supposed to get protection?

Shake shake.

"Rhogiro! Trog!" I needed somebody big enough to get this guy's attention.

What I got was the Goddamn Parrot, who plummeted into the gloom from the afternoon sunlight above. "Where have you been?"

"Trying to deal with a whole parade of these characters." I got shaken again.

The bird said, "An apparent retard."

"You see him?"

The huge guy took a swipe at Mr. Big. He missed. The bird stayed over on his blind side, obviously seeing him.

"Be quiet, Garrett."

"Hard to do."

Pretty boy looked baffled. He wasn't used to having his orders ignored. He took a stab at Mr. Big. Maybe he was prejudiced against talking birds. The Goddamn Parrot evaded the blow.

"You try to talk to him?" the bird asked.

"Yeah. He told me to shut up. Then he started playing ragdoll with me. Got any idea who or what he is?"

The big guy pulled me right up close, eye to eye.

"There any divine dentists? He's got teeth all over his mouth, and most of them are rotten. He's got breath like a battlefield three days after... "

Bingo.

The Dead Man got it at the same time. "A war god."

Baffled, the war god set me on my feet and squatted. "You do not fear me?"

"I spent five years at your birthday party. You got nothing left to scare me with." I hoped he didn't have a big talent for bullshit detection. "Who are you? What do you want?"

"I am Shinrise the Destroyer." Roll of drums, please. Thunder of trumpets.

"I know your sister Maggie."

He frowned. He didn't get it. Maybe the world wreckers didn't get together and talk shop.

Where did I get the idea that gods were smarter than people?

"Garrett?" The Goddamn Parrot fluttered to my shoulder. "I don't know the name. Do you?"

"Actually, it seems I should. Maybe from somebody in the Corps."

Shinrise the Destroyer swung a fist in a mighty roundhouse. It tore a few hundred bricks out or the nearest wall. On the far side a couple in the throes of lovemaking took a moment to react. They gaped. The woman screamed. She had no trouble seeing Shinrise, either.

He stomped a foot. Bricks fell out of the wall. I said, "I'd better get out of here before he knocks everything down."

As suddenly as the rage took Shinrise it passed. He grabbed me again. "Have you found the key?"

"No."

"Don't even look."

Far, far off I sensed an echo of Nog is inescapable. "Why not? What do you care? You're not Godoroth or Shayir."

"I have cause to wish misfortune upon both houses. You will refrain from... "

"Sure, big guy. Like your wishes are going to override theirs."

He started to shake me but frowned, tilted his head to one side. Maybe an idea was trying to get in.

The bird told me, "Others are coming." He fluttered upward.

"I know."

Shinrise completed his thought. He grinned. His teeth definitely were his weakness. "I will protect you." He sounded proud of himself.

"Of course you will. And here's where you start. Nog the Inescapable is coming here to snatch me. Discourage him while I find someplace to hide."

I jumped through the broken wall into the room just vacated by the lovers, then used the only door. I glanced back. Shinrise looked like he was beginning to wonder if he had been hornswoggled. Behind him, but close, came Nog is inescapable! strong and tinged with triumph. Nog had the scent.

What did Strait tell me? The Commission was going to caution the players about being so rough? Must not have gotten the word out yet. And Shinrise sure wasn't working for the Board. What he wanted was directly opposed to their desires. Why didn't I find out what his interest was? Oh, yeah. Nog. Nog arrived.

Bricks flew. Thunder boomed. Lightning walked. I clamped my hands over my ears and kept moving. Shinrise the Destroyer lived up to his name by using Nog to finish off the damaged tenement and several of its neighbors. People screamed.

These petty pewter gods were very much into our world now. Maybe whole platoons of minor gods would come out as the deadline got closer. Maybe...

But gods had moved up and down the Street before without the town getting torn up.

Nog is inescapable. Nog seemed amazed that he could be thwarted.

I wished I knew where the hell I was so I could get to where the hell I ought to be. Which, I had a notion, might be right in front of the main altar at Chattaree. I was about to step into the street when I saw a blur coming. Jorken was earning his pay today. He streaked past, headed for the divine ass-kicking contest.

The excitement began to draw a crowd. I saw Shayir and Godoroth alike heading for the turmoil. I moved out, a man in shadow, employing all the caution I had learned during the big dance with the Venageti.

The racket got louder. Chimneys fell. Chunks of roof flew around. Members of the Guard arrived. Residents lost interest and fled the area. I went with them.