Pawn

XIV Equals

I burst into Greyson’s suite, not bothering to knock. He stood behind a table, wearing goggles that made his eyes look twice as big as they were supposed to be. His living room had been converted into a workshop, with long counters covered with bits and pieces of things I couldn’t identify.

Looking up at my unannounced entrance, he set down whatever new thing he was working on. “Everything all right?”

I shook my head, grateful he wasn’t wasting time with pleasantries. “Celia wants to kill you.”

Greyson blinked owlishly. “Nothing new there. She’s had it in for all of us for ages.”

“This time she means it. I overheard her and Knox talking, and—”

“Kitty.” His voice cut through mine. “It’s all right. Even if she does try something, I have guards, and I can take care of myself. I appreciate the worry, but I know my aunt, and I know that no matter how fast she talks, she’d never hurt me.”

I balled my hands into fists. He didn’t get it. “No matter what you think she’s capable of doing, this time she’s going through with it. She has a plan.”

“What is it?” he said with the air of someone who had better things to do but knew the conversation wouldn’t be over until he heard it all.

I hesitated. “I don’t know. I overheard her and Knox talking, and I think he knows, but—”

“So you broke down the door to tell me that Celia’s going to kill me, and that’s it?” he said, not unkindly. “Do you know when?”

“Tomorrow. Knox and I are going to New York, and she’s going to do it then so we aren’t here to help you.”

“Then I’ll make sure to keep an eye out for her,” he said. I started to protest, but he cut me off. “Kitty, really. This is my family, and I know how they operate. Nothing’s going to happen.”

“Please,” I said, bursting with frustration. “Just listen to me. Celia’s crazy. She’s determined to get revenge on Daxton for what happened to Lila, and she said she’d do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting you.”

“She talks a lot, that’s all. She was blowing off steam. I’m flattered you came to warn me, but—”

“I’m the one who tried to kill Daxton.”

He stilled. “What?”

A knot of panic formed in my stomach. “Not because—I didn’t do it on my own, I mean. Celia, she told me to—”

“And you just do whatever Celia wants?” said Greyson softly.

“You have to understand. Daxton killed my friend, he killed the only parent I’ve ever had, he took away who I was—”

Without saying a word, Greyson headed into another part of his suite. I trailed after him, refusing to let the conversation end like this.

“He attacked me,” I said, stopping short of his bedroom. He stood with his back facing me, and his arms hung loosely at his sides. “He talked about how Lila was so pretty, and he—he—”

“Did he hurt you?” said Greyson quietly, and I shook my head.

“No. I kneed him and—used the syringe Celia gave me. I know it was wrong, but—”

“If you poisoned him, then why isn’t he dead?” said Greyson, finally turning to face me. He was pale, but other than that, he looked as if we were having a normal conversation. Not discussing how I’d nearly managed to assassinate the man he thought was his father.

“I couldn’t do it. I tried, and only half of it...” I swallowed tightly. “That isn’t the point. Celia arranged it. I stupidly went along with her, and I’m sorry—not because Daxton didn’t deserve it, but because it hurt you. Celia’s unhinged. She—”

Greyson raised his hand, and I fell silent. “My family has been fighting each other for longer than I’ve been alive. It’s how they keep themselves entertained. I stay out of it. They know that, and none of them come after me.”

“It’s different now that Lila’s dead,” I said. “Celia really wants to hurt Daxton, and she’ll do it through you if she has to.”

“I won’t let it happen,” he said. “Can you try to believe me for now? If I’m wrong, you’ll be the first to get to say I told you so.”

A dozen reasons why he was being absurd ran through my mind, but if he refused to help himself, there wasn’t much I could do about it. “Fine,” I said. “And if you do wind up dead, I’ll be mad at you.”

“I’ll be mad at me, too,” he said with a rare smile. “So let’s hope I’m right.”

Benjy wasn’t with Knox when he arrived at the airport the next morning, and I said nothing as we boarded. If they weren’t willing to let Benjy come, then I wouldn’t be their puppet anymore. Maybe once I opened my mouth and they realized I wasn’t saying the words they wanted me to say, they would start treating me like a person instead of a weapon.

Greyson weighed heavily on my mind as the jet tore down the runway. I was exhausted; I’d spent all night going over ways Celia could get to him, even with the guards he’d promised to keep with him. If she could get to the prime minister, Greyson would be a cinch. But I didn’t know how everything worked well enough to begin to guess how she might do it, especially in her frail state.

“I need to talk to you,” I said once we were gliding through the air and my ears no longer popped. Knox had his nose stuck in a book, and he didn’t even glance at me when I sat down across from him. I was supposed to be memorizing Celia’s speech, but since I wasn’t going to say it, there was no point.

“Knox,” I said, sharper this time. “We need to talk.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t bring Benjy, but he had to stay behind to take care of some things. I assure you he’s well guarded.”

“That’s not what this is about,” I said. “I know what Celia has planned.”

Knox raised an eyebrow, and finally he set his book down. “Oh? And what’s that?”

“She’s going to kill Greyson, and you’re going to let her.”

“You must not have heard our conversation correctly,” he said. “I made it perfectly clear that I’m not.”

“Then what are you going to do about it?”

“None of your business,” he said, opening up his book again. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to do.”

I glared at him, but he didn’t seem to notice. “I’m not giving Celia’s speech.”

Knox’s eyes stopped moving across the page. Now I had his attention. “Why’s that?”

“I said I would if Benjy came along. Benjy isn’t here, so I won’t. I would have considered it if you were nice, but you’re being a jerk, so—”

He snapped his book shut. “You do realize the world doesn’t revolve around you, yes?”

“I grew up with forty other kids and one adult to watch over us,” I said. “Yeah, I realize the world doesn’t revolve around me, thanks.”

“If you can’t accept that this is all bigger than you, then fine, say whatever you want. But the audience doesn’t want to hear about how the pain they feel every day of their lives isn’t real. They aren’t there to listen to you tell them that everything they’ve hoped for is a joke. If you want to take that away from them just to piss me and Celia off, then do it. Right now I have more on my mind than how to keep you happy so you’ll do the right thing.”

I glowered at him. This was another trick, another way to manipulate me, and I hated him for it, but that didn’t make him any less right. The people in the audience—they were me, but their marks would never magically turn into VIIs. The frustration I’d felt that had pushed me toward theft and following Tabs to a brothel—they lived with that every single day. I hated that Daxton hadn’t asked me whether or not I wanted to be Masked, but if he had, I would have said yes. I didn’t want to live my life miserable and desperate for something eternally out of reach. These people had never had a choice.

They didn’t need me to tell them that, though, not if their lives were anything like mine had been. And I couldn’t keep living under Celia’s thumb.

“I warned Greyson,” I said. “I told him that I was the one to go after Daxton.”

Knox exhaled, and for a moment I thought he was going to yell at me, but instead he closed his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. Greyson probably already knew. Augusta treats him like a child, but he’s smarter than the rest of us combined.”

Smart enough to know his father wasn’t really his father? “Are you sure Celia won’t hurt him?”

“She knows Greyson’s security has been beefed up since the attack. If she wants to get to him, she’s going to have to be a lot smarter than she has been.”

“And what if she is?”

When Knox looked at me, I saw a hint of fear, and it scared me more than anything he could possibly have said. “Then she’ll spend the rest of her life regretting it.”

New York City was unlike D.C. in so many ways that at first I wondered if we were still in the same country. Buildings as tall as the sky rose around us, and there were so many people that the sidewalks seemed to overflow. The streets were blocked off to other traffic, and as we passed by in a limousine with tinted windows, everyone stared at us.

“How big is this place?” I said as we turned yet another corner. I craned my neck to try to see the top of the skyscrapers, but it was impossible. I’d never known anything that tall existed.

“It’s the biggest city in the country,” said Knox. We’d barely spoken for the rest of the flight, but once we stepped off the plane, I hadn’t been able to contain my excitement. Other than my brief stay at the Stronghold, I’d never been outside the District of Columbia before. Was this what the rest of the country looked like?

“How many people live here?” I said, my eyes glued to the skyline.

“Now? Ten million. Before the population laws were put into effect, there were over twelve million people living here.”

“And they have the rank system, too?”

“The entire country uses it.”

“Oh. Right.” My cheeks grew warm. I tried to distract myself by figuring out how many floors there were in one of the buildings, but we drove by too quickly.

“You’re pretty when you blush,” he said, which only made my face grow hotter. “Lila rarely ever got embarrassed.” He shifted closer to me, and the leather squeaked underneath him. “I have to admit, I’m curious what you’re going to do about Benjy. Seems he’s quite in love with you.”

“What do you mean?” I said, fighting the urge to move away. There wasn’t anywhere to go anyway.

Knox’s lips twisted into an amused smirk. “I mean, how do you expect to still be his girlfriend when you’re sleeping in my bed?”

I dug my nails into the gauzy fabric of my dress. “Benjy knows what’s at stake,” I muttered, turning away from him to stare out the window again. “Unlike some people, he doesn’t get jealous.”

“Are you sure?”

Knox’s lips were so close to my ear that I felt his warm breath on my cheek, and his fingertips danced across the back of my neck, tracing the three ridges underneath my skin. From anyone else, it would’ve been a warning, but from Knox it felt like a promise.

I shivered. If it weren’t for the fact that I needed him to get back to D.C., I would’ve murdered him right then and there.

Seconds passed like hours, and by the time I found the words to tell him off, he was halfway back to his seat, looking bored and distant, not tempting and warm and—

I really was going to kill him.

“Do you have your earpiece?” said Knox, and I nodded, forcing myself to focus on the passing buildings. If he was going to play these kinds of games, I’d play them, too.

“I don’t need it, though.”

“Oh?” he said. “Do you have the entire thing memorized?”

“Yes,” I said flatly, silently daring him to challenge me.

“Which speech will we have the privilege of hearing this afternoon?”

“I already told you, Celia and I had a deal. She didn’t hold up her end, so I won’t hold up mine. I’m not your puppet.”

“Yes, I realize that,” said Knox, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw his jaw twitch. Good.

Ten minutes later, the car pulled to a stop in front of a huge stadium, and through the door I heard a strange murmur. I pressed my ear against the window, and my eyes widened.

Lila, Lila, Lila—

The audience was chanting her name.

“Take your earpiece out so you don’t get confused,” said Knox, not seeming the least bit fazed. “Wouldn’t want you to start rattling off both speeches, would we?”

My mouth went dry. “How many people are going to be there?”

As the chauffer opened the door for us, Knox slid out first and offered me his hand. I didn’t take it. “It’s an open event, so anyone who wanted to come and could afford to take a day off will be there. Mostly IVs and above, but I suspect there will be some IIs and IIIs in the audience, too. Many of them are Blackcoat supporters, but the majority will be everyday citizens who’ve come to see you, and every last one of them already loves you. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about.”

I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress. Easy for him to say.

Together we walked into the building, where we were met by a guide who bowed but said little else. As he led us through the maze of concrete hallways, the sound of Lila’s name grew louder, and the very walls seemed to shake. The audience began to stomp their feet, and by the time we reached the platform that would lift me up onto the stage, I could barely hear myself think.

“You can do this,” shouted Knox. He set his hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye, dead serious now. Whatever he’d tried to do in the car, those thoughts were gone now. “Those people are here for you. Remember who you are and what you’re here to do. If you want to give Augusta’s speech, I won’t stop you, but do me and all twenty thousand people out there a favor and remember what it was like when you were a III. Then decide what you’re going to say.”

My heart nearly stopped. “Twenty thousand people?”

“If I’d told you ahead of time, you would never have left the car.”

Now I had no choice. I yanked my earpiece out. “Here.” I closed his fist around it and stepped backward onto the platform. “This isn’t a game, and I’m not your damn pawn.”

“I know. Everything’s in your hands, Kitty. You’re in control. This is your chance to prove what kind of person you really are underneath that face.”

The platform began to rise, and Knox and I locked eyes until the lights onstage blinded me. The cheering turned into a wall of sound, and the bright lights wound up being a good thing—because even though I could hear them, I couldn’t see how large a crowd of twenty thousand people really was.

All of them had come to see Lila, not me. To hear her words, to cheer as she encouraged them to keep fighting. I wasn’t her, though. I was a nobody trapped in the body of a Hart, and if they knew the truth—

I inhaled sharply. Lila would never have won me over because she hadn’t known what it was like to be a III. She’d lived with her cushy mansions and private jets, and even though being a Hart couldn’t have been easy, especially after what Daxton had done to her father, she’d never known what it was like to want for basic human rights and necessities. The entire world laid itself out before her, ripe for the picking. These people didn’t know what that was like, and she had no idea what it was like to be them.

I did. And I knew what I was going to say.

Pushing my worries about Greyson from my mind, I took a breath, opened my mouth, and began.

The applause was deafening. The stage shook underneath me, and security guards fought to keep the audience from spilling onto it. Even if they did, I didn’t care.

Lila had always spoken about the founding fathers of the country and wars none of us had ever heard of. She treated everyone in the audience like an equal, and that was her charm, but she had access to information that we would never have the chance to learn.

So instead I spoke about things everyone who wasn’t privileged lived with day in and day out. Hunger, discrimination, looking in the eyes of our so-called betters and knowing their lives were worth more than ours simply because of the tattoo on the back of their necks. Having to give up children they loved because they couldn’t afford the fines, and what those children went through—what I’d gone through, abandoned and growing up never knowing who I really was. I couldn’t tell them I knew firsthand what it was like, but I could paint a picture so vivid that they all understood exactly what kind of shame and worthlessness Extras experienced every single day.

I talked about change; real change, not just returning to what the United States had been like before the ranking system. Lila thought a complete overhaul of the country’s political structure would lead to utopia. I thought a world where I could walk into a market and buy an orange without risking my life would be a good start. And as I relayed the news of the attempt on Daxton’s life and how he lay in the infirmary in a coma, I dared to hope that it was time for our country to be placed in the hands of someone who valued every life, not simply the ones who could make his better. Someone like Greyson, if he wanted the job. And if he didn’t, then someone who had everyone’s best interests at heart, not just the Vs and VIs.

The platform lowered me beneath the stage amid the roaring applause, and I could barely breathe. For the first time, having Lila’s face felt right. If this was the kind of work I could do as her, then losing my identity was worth it. I was just one person, but there were thousands counting on her to spread the word—counting on me. I’d never been needed before, not like this, and it was exhilarating.

Beneath the stage, Knox met me with a warm embrace and congratulations, and I hugged him back. “Did I do all right?” I said once we were winding through the hallways underneath the stadium. His arm was still around my shoulders, and for once I didn’t mind.

“More than all right. That was the best speech Lila has ever given.” Despite his enthusiasm, there was something behind his smile that I didn’t understand.

“What?” I said, but he shook his head.

“Later.”

My mood dampened, but I still felt like I was glowing. As we wound our way through the corridors, the crowd’s cheers didn’t fade, and I clung to them as if they were my lifeline. These were people who knew what it felt like to be considered less than someone else. They understood, and they wanted change as badly as I did.

It wasn’t until we were safely tucked back inside the limousine that Knox’s good mood seemed to deflate, and when I looked at him, he refused to meet my eye.

“What is it?” I said. “Did something happen?”

Knox grimaced. “I got a message from Somerset while you were talking. Greyson’s gone missing.”