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Five

The touch screens switched to an online quiz view of Max’s profile page. Unlike the others his page was without a profile photo, a placeholder silhouette image on the screen where his mug shot should have been.

“Max, your questions are next,” Alligator announced. “Firstly, you like to play classical violin — what grade have you reached?”

Gwen looked especially surprised, sitting bolt upright in her chair.

“You play the violin?”

“Kiddie fiddler, eh?” Dave laughed.

Max cleared his throat, not sharing the joke. “Um… Grade five.”

Jo pursed her lips, quietly impressed at Max’s hitherto hidden talent.

“Question two — who’s All2gethr profile have you viewed most frequently?”

“No idea. My mother’s? I don’t know.”

“Your Mum’s on All2gethr? Now that’s fucked up mate,” Dave cackled.

“Third, and final, question — what was the first item you ever bought from the All2gethr.com Online Market? And why?”

The animated question mark graphic floated over the space where his photo should have been — a question upon a question.

“Dark horse,” Gwen said. Max glanced at her and the others, looking genuinely thrown by the question.

“How the hell should I know? I mean, I buy a lot of stuff online, everyone does…”

“Allow me to jog your memory,” Alligator cut in, an image popping up onto the monitors for all to see; an advertising pack-shot of an ointment jar emblazoned with the logo ‘TRICHLOWART’.

“I never bought that!” Max laughed.

Dave snorted and guffawed loudly. “Yeah, right!”

Jo put her hand to her mouth. Her eyes could not hide the fact that she was more than a little put off by this revelation about Max. And there was something else in her eyes — disappointment. She felt a little foolish now. What her ego had told her was genuine attention from Max could just have been him thinking of her as an easy target. Perhaps she’d misread him. Maybe the only reason she’d sensed the possibilities of some kind of holiday romance with him was because he was the kind of guy who put it about a bit. Her eyes met his for a second and he blushed, embarrassed. His shame looked genuine enough to her. He was difficult to read though, this guy.

Gwen peered at the picture of the jar on her screen again, brow furrowed in confusion. “What is that?” she asked.

Dave gestured at his crotch.

“What? What is it?” Gwen repeated, making Dave laugh.

The image blinked away, replaced by the word ‘PROCESSING’.

“You have scored — zero, Max,” Alligator proclaimed.

“I honestly never bought that.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dave teased.

“The correct answers are — one, you are still on Grade One having failed the exam seven times…”

Max shrugged indifferently as if to say ‘win some, lose some’, but Jo noticed he was still blushing.

“…two, the profile you viewed most often belongs to Jenny Phillips, whose photo albums you have viewed 234 times to date…”

“Bloody hell, stalker alert!” Gwen exclaimed.

“…three, you ordered a jar of genital wart ointment soon after returning home from your trip to Poland when you were seventeen. Summary — a dirty mind likes yours attracts disease.”

Max held both middle fingers aloft into the cabin’s thin air, hoping that Alligator could see them.

“Rumbled mate,” Dave cackled, “Nasty.” He rubbed his crotch in mock-genital discomfort. Gwen’s nose wrinkled in disgust.

Max turned to Jo and held her gaze. “I didn’t buy it,” he muttered.

Alligator’s voice boomed from the speakers once more. “Gwen. Your questions begin now.”

Now she was under the spotlight, Gwen now looked unsure about the whole thing.

“I’m not sure I want to play. It’s all getting a bit too personal,” she said.

“To reiterate, please note the rules stipulate that in order to claim any prize, the game must be played out to the very end.”

Dave leaned forward. “Come on, you were happy enough to listen to our answers, weren’t you love?”

Love?!

she thought. Being patronised by Dave was beginning to rile her, but she’d dealt with guys like him before. On and offline. Right. Instead of rising to his jibes, she decided she’d show him up and play the game. Whatever Alligator threw at her, she’d make damned sure she’d deal with it better than Dave had.

Gwen took a deep breath. Avoiding Dave’s gloating eyes, she held out her empty champagne glass, dignified as a princess. Looking smug, he refilled it.

“Yeah, yeah, all right. Go on then,” she said.

“Question one — having always been fascinated by the world of celebrity, which famous figure have you frequently been compared to by your friends on All2gethr?”

The question mark icon throbbed over the quiz show version of her profile page, above the rows of glamorous portraits of her in her photo feed. Dave took the opportunity to look Gwen over, his eyes devouring her. She tightened her silk scarf, shifting under the intensity of his tipsy gaze. She had to answer honestly to score points; she knew that from the previous rounds. Gwen thought hard and took a breath before responding.

“Hmmm… Kylie Minogue?”

She flashed a prim smile at the others, as though daring them to mock her. They remained silent.

“Question two — can you identify the young man in this picture?”

Another progress wheel span, before giving way to a snapshot of a mousey-looking teenage boy wearing school uniform.

A class portrait.

Gwen peered closely at the picture. “No, I don’t think so…”

“Yeah, yeah…” Dave said.

“No, I genuinely don’t recognise him.”

“Question three — who is ‘Guardian_Angel’?”

Gwen groaned, ran her fingers through her fringe, rattled.

“What is it?” Jo asked.

“Gwen?” Alligator prompted.

“All right, all right… She’s me. It’s just a username I use sometimes.”

‘PROCESSING’ appeared on-screen.

“Score — one out of a possible three.”

“Boo!” Max said, giving the thumbs down jokingly. Dave chuckled.

Jo looked a little relieved to hear Gwen’s score. Not so perfect after all, she thought.

“One — the celebrity you have been most frequently compared to is Katy Brooks, the glamour model…”

Dave wolf-whistled noisily over Gwen’s groans of embarrassment.

“…because of the eating disorder you developed when you were fifteen.”

Gwen looked horrified, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Alligator’s words were like knives, pricking away at her thin armour of defiance. She wanted to disappear into the layers of her clothing now, shrink away so no one could see her anymore. Gwen had spent most of her teenage years feeling that way, seeing herself looking so disgustingly obese in the mirror each morning and every night, no matter how many times she made herself sick…

“Two — the boy in the picture is Neil Harris,” Alligator continued, “You joined an All2gethr page dedicated to tormenting him when you were in school.”

Dave’s jaw dropped. “And I thought you were such a nice girl.”

“That was a long time ago,” Gwen said, eyes glistening wet now.

“Three — you answered correctly. ‘Guardian_Angel’ is your moderator username on the All2gethr Helping Hands counselling forum.”

“You’re a counsellor?” Jo asked, a note of surprise in her voice.

Gwen nodded uncomfortably, wiping her eyes and toying with her fringe again.

“Summary — you are a hypocrite, because you should take a little of your own advice before preaching to others,” Alligator concluded.

“He’s right there…” Dave muttered.

He had clearly hit a nerve. Mortified, Gwen stared at her lap. So much for showing Dave how the game was played — she felt as though she’d endured a whipping.

The Alligator’s voice continued, upbeat as ever.

“That concludes Round One. Remember, some amazing prizes are up for grabs. Thank you all for playing along.”

Ding ding

. The animated grinning green face faded away from their screens.

But for the steady drone of the jet engines an uncomfortable, leaden silence had descended on the cabin.