New Orleans Run

Chapter One

He ran to the east with startling speed, as well he should considering he was a hybrid of human and feline traits, a genetically engineered being who possessed human and bestial features in equal measure, a cat-man endowed with extraordinary strength and agility. Except for a gray loincloth, his four-foot frame lacked clothing. But he wasn’t exactly naked because his entire body sported a thick coat of short, grayish-brown fur.

Tapered nails capped his bony fingers. His ears, like a cat’s, were pointed.

And his face, decidedly feline in aspect, contained a pair of slanted, vivid green eyes.

Ahead of him rose a hill.

He grinned in anticipation, knowing they would be there, and loped up the narrow trail to the summit. True to his prediction, he found them seated on the east rim. “Hey, you turkeys! Guess what?”

The pair enjoying the sunshine and the tranquility turned at the sound of the newcomer’s raspy voice, and both, oddly, scowled.

On the right sat another hybrid, a creature who strongly resembled a two-legged ferret. Like the cat-man, he was only four feet in height, and his weight came to a mere 60 pounds. Brown hair, about three inches long, covered his whole form. Also like the cat-man, he wore a loincloth, only his was black. His head was oversized for his slight build, and from the front of it protruded a long nose that nearly resembled a snout. His brown eyes narrowed as he regarded the cat-man critically.

So did the other creature. Five feet ten and quite humanoid in aspect, this being wore a brown loincloth. His gray skin was leathery, his visage hawklike, his nose pointed almost like a beak. A thin slit of a mouth, tiny circles of flesh for ears, and bizarre eyes with bright red pupils lent him an alien appearance.

The cat-man came to a halt a few feet from the duo and glanced expectantly from one to the other. “Didn’t you bozos hear me?”

“We heard you, Lynx,” said the ferret-man.

“Unfortunately, yes?” added the other.

Lynx placed his hands on his hips and exhaled loudly. “I boogied all the way out here to bring you the good news and this is the way you treat me?”

The ferret-man looked at the humanoid. “Did he say good news?”

“We are definitely in trouble, no?” responded the other.

A muted hiss issued from Lynx’s thin lips. “I go to all this trouble, and you two act like jerks.”

“Would you do us a favor?” the ferret-man asked.

“Sure, Ferret,” Lynx replied, brightening. “You know I’d do anything for you guys.”

“Then would you go jump in the moat and see if you can stay under for an hour or so?”

The humanoid cackled.

“You think that’s funny, do you, Gremlin?” Lynx demanded.

“Quite humorous, yes?” Gremlin replied, and chuckled.

“Look, do you want to hear the good news or not?” Lynx snapped.

“We pass,” Ferret said.

“You’ll be sorry,” Lynx told them.” This is a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity for us.”

“We still pass,” Ferret reiterated.

“Trust me. You’ll like it.” Lynx asserted.

“Trust you?” Ferret almost exploded, rising and taking a step toward the cat-man. “Every time you say that, we wind up in more trouble than we can handle.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Lynx said.

Ferret looked at Gremlin. “Am I?”

“Not exaggerating, no,” Gremlin answered, standing slowly.

“Understatement, yes?”

“Okay! Fine!” Lynx declared, and folded his wiry arms across his chest.

“Be this way! If you don’t want to hear my good news, then I’m not going to tell you.”

“Thank you,” Ferret said, and turned to Gremlin. “What do you say we go grab a bite to eat?”

“Fine by Gremlin.”

“Samson told me we could stop by his cabin for supper,” Ferret mentioned, leading the way to the west.

Lynx leaped in front of them to block their path, “Forget about food for a minute! This is more important.”

“I thought you weren’t going to tell us,” Ferret noted.

“I figure secretly you both want to know.”

“You’re wrong,” Ferret said. He pressed his hands over his ears and deliberately turned his back to the cat-man.

“Go ahead. Act like a dork,” Lynx said. “But I know you can hear me, so listen to this.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Blade has agreed to take us on the next mission. We leave first thing in the morning!”

Gremlin seemed to transform into stone, his mouth hanging wide open.

Ferret’s arms dropped and he whirled, anger contorting his feral features. “What?”

“Isn’t it terrific?” Lynx beamed. “I finally persuaded the big dummy to take us along. And you’ll never guess where we’re going?”

“I don’t want to go anywhere,” Ferret said.

“You’ll change your mind when you hear the great news,” Lynx assured him.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“Yes, you do. You only think you don’t.”

“Don’t tell me or I’ll rip your face off.”

“New Orleans.”

Ferret’s slim shoulders drooped and he raised his eyes to the heavens.

“Why me? Why is it always me?”

“Don’t forget me, yes?” Gremlin interjected.

“What’s wrong with you guys?” Lynx said excitedly. “This is fantastic!

We finally get to leave the Home on a run. Aren’t you excited?”

“In a word, no,” Ferret said.

“Why not? Look at how long we’ve been cooped up here, walkin’ the ramparts on guard duty, playin’ nursemaid to the Family, huntin’ game, and generally being bored to tears. Now we’ll see a little action.”

Ferret’s temper became several degrees hotter. “A little action? You moron! A little action could get us all killed.”

“Do I take it you’re upset?”

“I’ll show you upset,” Ferret growled, and wagged his right fist.

Lynx backed up a step and smiled. “You just need time to adjust to the idea. Then you’ll see that I’m right, as usual.”

“Right? You?” Ferret snorted contemptuously.

“Where am I off base then?”

“Between the ears,” Ferret retorted, and then launched into a diatribe, scarcely able to control his simmering indignation. “First of all, you dipstick, it’s impossible to be ‘cooped up’ in a thirty-acre compound.

Second of all, Gremlin and I like pulling guard duty on the walls. We like hunting game for the Family. We have no desire to see any action whatsoever. The more peaceful our lives are, the better we like it.”

“But you’re Warriors,” Lynx said.

“And whose fault is that?” Ferret asked. “You were the one who wanted to become a Warrior, remember? You were the one who talked Blade and Hickok into sponsoring us for Warrior status. And you’re the one who wants to go on a run outside of the Home, not us.”

“Does this mean you don’t like the idea?”

“It sucks!”

“What, exactly, don’t you like about it?”

Ferret’s lips compressed and he seemed about to leap upon his friend.

Instead, he stormed to the west without another word.

“Pitiful,” Lynx muttered, hastening after him.

“Pitiful, yes?” Gremlin commented, shaking his head as he followed.

The cat-man easily caught up with Ferret and tried to grab his wrist.

“Touch me and you die.”

“Boy, are you a grump or what?”

“I was doing just fine until you showed up,” Ferret said testily.

“Would you stand still and let me talk to you?” Lynx asked.

“No.”

“A minute. All I ask is a minute of your time.”

“Go suck on a live hand grenade.”

Exasperated, Lynx suddenly ran several yards in front of Ferret and halted directly in front of him, forcing Ferret to stop or go around.

Ferret halted.

“Good. Now we can discuss this like intelligent hybrids,” the cat-man declared.

“Get your face out of my life.”

“Calm down. Hear me out, please.”

“I’ll count to three,” Ferret stated.

“Look, is it too much of an imposition for you to listen to what I have to say? Listen. That’s all. And if you still don’t want to go on the run, then I’ll personally go to Blade and tell him to pick another Triad. What do you say?”

“You will?” Ferret asked suspiciously.

“My word of honor.”

“Put it in writing.”

“Give me a break,” Lynx said. “I’m trying to be fair about this. I don’t want the two of you to do something you don’t want to do.”

Ferret glanced at Gremlin, who stood on his right. “What do you think?”

“Where Lynx is concerned, Gremlin never think, no,” the humanoid said.

“Come on, guys! How many years have we been best buddies? Six?

Seven? Do you really think I would do anything that didn’t have your best interests at heart?”

“Yes,” Ferret stated flatly.

“Okay. So maybe once or twice I’ve let my enthusiasm get the better of me, but this time it’s different. This time I’m tryin’ to fulfill our biological imperative.”

“You’re what?” Ferret blurted out in astonishment. “Where did you ever learn big words like those?”

“He’s been reading the dictionary again, yes?” Gremlin speculated.

“Dictionary, hell. I’m not as dumb as most everybody seems to think I am. And I know there are certain facts we have to accept and live by accordingly. Fact number one is that we were created by the lousy Doktor to be members of his Genetic Research Division, to be part of his private assassin corps. We were bred in a test tube to be fighters. The perfect killers. That’s what we are. And all the wishful thinkin’ in the world won’t change our past or make us anything else.”

“He hasn’t been reading a dictionary,” Ferret cracked. “He’s been browsing through the philosophy books in the Family library.”

Lynx frowned. “Will you glue your mouth shut until I’m done? This is serious business. For almost two years now we’ve been Warriors. And as I was tryin’ to explain before, for two years all we’ve done is guard the walls and hunt game. Big friggin’ deal. We weren’t brought into existence to be bored to tears. We were created for action. We’re genetically engineered mutations dammit! We’re different from everyone, and every thing else on the whole planet. The Doktor went to all the trouble of takin’ ordinary human embryos and addin’ animal traits for a reason.”

“Yeah. So we could go out and get our heads shot off protecting his sorry ass,” Ferret snapped.

“Bingo.”

“What?”

“You’ve just hit the nail on the head. Our whole purpose for being is to be gladiators.”

“Gladiators?” Ferret declared, his eyebrows arching. He glanced at Gremlin. “Did he say gladiators?”

“I picked up the word from Spartacus and it fits us to a T. He told me all about how those ancient Roman dudes were trained to go out in an arena and kick butt. We’re the same way. And if we try to resist, if we don’t go out and get a little action now and then, we’re denying our biological imperative,” Lynx concluded, and beamed, quite pleased with himself. He’d been working on his pitch for over three months, ever since he’d initially proposed going on a mission outside the Home and his cohorts had irately shot the idea down in verbal flames. But Lynx had refused to concede defeat. He’d been determined to go on a run no matter what it took.

Why should the other Warriors have all the fun?

There were 18 Warriors responsible for protecting the Home and safeguarding the Family. They were divided into fighting groups designated as Triads: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Omega, Zulu, and Bravo. Lynx and his friends comprised Bravo. And while most of the other Warriors had been given the opportunity to venture far afield on dangerous assignments, Bravo Triad had not.

Lynx wanted to change that.

He had devised a devious scheme. The key to his strategy lay in persuading the top Warrior, Blade, to take them along. To that end he had gone to each of the other Warriors and ever so tactfully mentioned the fact Bravo Triad hadn’t seen any real action in ages and that their skills were starting to deteriorate from the extended inactivity. When the other Warriors, natural fighters that they were, had commiserated and kindly expressed a wish that they could help, Lynx had coyly suggested they should make a mention of the fact to Blade and recommend Bravo Triad go on a run. Lynx had asked the other Warriors to refrain from mentioning his name when they talked to the giant.

And his ploy had worked!

Lynx almost snickered at the thought of his triumph. Instead, he kept a straight face and asked Ferret, “What do you think?”

“I think you’re insane.”

“You’ve got to admit my argument has merit.”

“We’ve been all through this before, airhead. Gremlin and I don’t want to go on a mission. Go by yourself and leave us alone.”

“But we’re a team,” Lynx protested, alarmed by the realization his own buddies might ruin his carefully laid plans.

“Don’t remind us,” Ferret cracked.

Peeved, Lynx turned to Gremlin. “What do you say?”

“You already know, yes?”

“Isn’t there anything I can do to make you guys change your minds?”

Ferret and Gremlin answered, loudly, in unsion. “No!”

His shoulders sagging, Lynx walked a few yards to the north and sat down on a log. The perfect picture of depression.

“Well, if that’s your final decision, there’s no sense in trying to persuade you. I know when I’m licked. And I’m not the type to try and take advantage of the best pals a guy could have.”

“Oh, brother,” Ferret said.

Gremlin took a few steps toward the cat-man, sadness tinging his countenance. “We’re sorry, yes? We didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, no.”

“That’s okay. I understand,” Lynx replied, and vented a protracted sigh.

“I don’t blame you for being mad. Not at all. You were always level with me. You told me no months ago and I went and tried to pull a fast one on you. I’m scum. I know it.”

Gremlin took another pace. “You’re not scum, no.”

“Yeah. I’m no better than horse manure,” Lynx declared emotionally.

“After all we’ve been through together, after we survived the war between the Federation and the Doktor, after we survived being captured by those android geeks down in Houston, after we laid our lives on the line for each other again and again, I pull a stunt like this.” He shook his head. “I’m not worthy of your friendship.”

“You are, yes,” Gremlin stated. He walked over and placed his right hand on the cat-man’s shoulder. “Don’t talk like this, no. It’s not like you, yes?”

Lynx lifted a face reflecting profound sorrow. “Maybe I should ask to be transferred to another Triad.”

“Never!” Gremlin exclaimed, extremely upset by the proposal. “We’re the Three Musketeers, yes? We always stick together, no? Through thick and thin.”

“Good old Gremlin,” Lynx said, and patted the hand on his shoulder.

“We can always count on you, can’t we? You know, I’ve never told you this before, but I’ve always believed that out of all the hybrids the damn Doktor created, out of all us freaks in his menagerie, you were the kindest, the most noble.”

“Really?” Gremlin responded, genuinely moved by the compliment. “I had no idea, no.”

“Oh, brother,” Ferret grumbled.

“Yep,” Lynx went on. “Maybe that’s why the bastard performed all those operations on your brain and made you talk the way you do. He couldn’t stand havin’ created something decent for once, so he made you the guinea pig in some of his stinkin’ experiments.”

“Gremlin always wondered why the Doktor singled him out, yes?” Gremlin mentioned.

“Now you know,” Lynx said.

Gremlin stepped to one side and gazed at the blue sky. “Doktor was an evil, evil man, no?”

“The Doktor was slime,” Lynx concurred. “And just think of how many more lives the bastard would have ruined if we hadn’t wasted him.”

“Blade did the wasting,” Ferret interjected.

“Well, yeah, technically, I suppose,” Lynx acknowledged reluctantly, then fell silent for all of ten seconds. “It’s too bad, isn’t it?”

“What is, yes?” Gremlin asked.

“That killin’ that chump didn’t do much to make this world a better place to live in. I mean, new threats are croppin’ up all the time.

Sometimes it seems like hardly a month goes by without someone or something tryin’ to destroy the Home and wipe out the Family, who have to be the nicest bunch of people around.”

“I remember you telling us once that the Family is so devoted to the Spirit, so involved with loving one another and being kind and courteous and all, that they make you want to puke,” Ferret noted.

“I said that years ago, back when I didn’t know any better,” Lynx stated.

“You still don’t know any better.”

The cat-man ignored Ferret and looked at Gremlin again. “You see my point, don’t you?”

“What point, yes?”

“About the real reason I wanted us to go on a run. It wasn’t so much for me or us, but for the Family. Look at how nice they’ve been to us. They took us in after the Doktor died and allowed us to become full-fledged Family members. We eat three squares a day and have a roof over our heads when we want one. And they never ask for nothin’ in return except that we pull our own weight as Warriors.”

“Very true, yes,” Gremlin agreed.

Lynx stared dejectedly at the grass. “So what if I wanted to do the right thing and go on our fair share of the missions. So what if I think we owe the Family for all the kindness they’ve shown us, I shouldn’t have volunteered our Triad without first consulting you two.”

“You are a good hybrid, no?”

“Now I’m the one who feels like he needs to puke,” Ferret declared.

“Go ahead. Make fun of me all you want to,” Lynx said. “I deserve it.”

“You’re a terrible martyr,” Ferret commented.

“Lynx does have a point, yes?” Gremlin pointed out, turning around.

“Yeah. On the top of his head,” Ferret replied.

“Maybe we should do more to help the Family, no?”

“We’re doing enough as it is.”

“But Gremlin likes the Family. Gremlin wants to do more.”

“Don’t tell me you’re falling for his bull?” Ferret asked.

“Lynx makes sense, yes?”

“Lynx hasn’t made sense since day one. Can’t you see he’s trying to manipulate us again? He’s scamming us, Gremlin.”

The humanoid glanced at the cat-man. “Are you, yes?”

“Would I jive you guys?” Lynx replied with an earnest expression. “Oh, sure, I might kid you every now and then. But what are friends for?”

Gremlin nodded and stared at Ferret. “There. You see, yes?”

“Did you happen to notice he didn’t answer your question?”

“Sure he did, yes?”

“I give up!” Ferret declared in disgust. He walked to a nearby boulder and took a seat. “If the two of you want to go off and slay dragons, be my guest. But I’m staying right here at the Home.”

“What can one run hurt, yes?”

“It can get us killed,” Ferret reiterated irritably.

Lynx came off the log in a rush and moved over to the boulder. “Not if we stick together and cover each other’s backs like always. We’re the best Triad in the Family and here’s our chance to prove it.”

“You two go prove it.”

“Does this mean you’ll let us go off by ourselves to get racked?”

Ferret glanced up. “That’s a low blow, even for you.”

“Don’t be such a party-pooper. Come with us.”

“No.”

“Please, Ferret,” Gremlin chimed in. “For me, yes? We should always stick together, no?”

A look of severe exasperation etched Ferret’s face as he gazed from one to the other. They were as dear to him as life itself, his closest comrades, the brothers he’d never had. The mere notion of them being harmed was almost more than he could bear. Life without them would be empty and lonely. Under the circumstances, and even though he knew Lynx had outmaneuvered them again, his options were limited to just one. “All right,” he capitulated wearily. “I’ll go on the damn run to New Orleans.”

Lynx impulsively embraced Ferret, then spun in a circle and whooped at the top of his lungs. “Look out, world! Here we come!”

“You did the right thing, yes,” Gremlin assured Ferret.

“Did I? I hope so,” Ferret said. He didn’t bother to add that, soon, they could all be pushing up daisies.