My Soul to Steal

19

SABINE WAS SITTING in the passenger seat of my car when I tried to leave for work at nine-thirty Sunday morning. I saw her the moment I stepped onto the front porch, and for a second, I considered simply marching back into the kitchen, where my father was cleaning Alec’s head wound, trying to figure out how to keep Avari out of our lives for good. To my surprise, he was more sympathetic to Alec’s dilemma this morning, rather than less, since he’d now personally fallen victim to possession.

But ignoring her would only be prolonging the inevitable. And Sabine’s presence was starting to feel inevitable, though I’d only known her a week. The mara was a force of nature—a tidal wave of fear, and pain, and need—and the only way I knew to survive her was to grab the nearest tree and ride out the surge.

She didn’t look up as I jogged down the porch steps; she just stared out the window, long dark hair covering the only visible side of her face. A glance up and down the street showed no sign of her car, and I decided right then not to even ask how she’d gotten to my house.

I exhaled slowly as I walked down the driveway, struggling to contain the sudden white-hot flare of my temper, determined to face my latest problem head-on.

Despite her obvious B and E, the driver’s side door was locked, and Sabine didn’t turn to face me when I tried the handle. Nor did she unlock the door and let me into my own car, though she’d clearly gone through some effort to let herself in. If I couldn’t see the back of her rib cage expanding with each breath, I might have thought she was dead.

That’d be just like Sabine, to die in my car—one last trauma for me before she’d probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

Gritting my teeth, I unlocked the door myself and slid into the driver’s seat. “What are you doing in my car?” I demanded, still clutching my keys for fear that if I put them in the ignition, she’d grab them and run, as the next part of whatever stunt she obviously had planned.

“Waiting,” she said, and her voice was oddly nasal.

My spine tingled. Had Avari somehow gotten ahold of her, too? Had he found another body to wear while he tortured me?

But then she turned, and I understood. She wasn’t possessed—she’d been crying.

Great. A bawling Nightmare. What’s next? A schizophrenic Minotaur?

“How did you get in here?” I asked, not sure I really wanted the answer. I should have just kicked her out and headed to work—I’d probably be late as it was. But I so rarely had the upper hand with Sabine that I couldn’t resist the opportunity to find out what could possibly make the big bad mara cry.

Sabine reached between her seat and the passenger’s side door and held up a long, thin strip of metal with a hook on one end. A slim jim.

My fist clenched around my keys. “I don’t even want to know how you learned to use that.” My curiosity—not to mention my patience—was fading by the second. “If you expect me to feel sorry for you, you’re out of luck,” I said, trying not to stare at her swollen eyes, flushed face, and tear-streaked cheeks.

“I don’t want your sympathy.” She sniffled, then grabbed a tissue from the minipack in my center console and wiped her face. It didn’t help. “I want you to fix this.”

“Fix what?”

“This!” She spread her arms, as if to encompass her entire screwed-up life. “Nash won’t talk to me. I went back last night, and he just kicked me out again. He won’t even listen.”

I have to admit, I took a little joy in her pain; she’d certainly dished out enough for me. “I’m surprised he let you in in the first place.”

Sabine frowned like I wasn’t making sense. “I went in through a window.”

“You broke into his house!” But then, why not? She’d broken into both my dreams and my car….

She shrugged. “Harmony always forgets to check the windows.”

“That’s not the point.” Though I made a note to mention that little security lapse to Nash. “You can’t just break into his house and expect him to be happy to see you!”

Her frown deepened. “He always was before. We never could stay mad at each other, and after we had a fight, one of us would sneak into the other’s room, and instead of apologizing, we’d—”

“Stop!” I shouted, louder than I’d intended to in the confines of my car. For a couple of endless moments, I could only blink at her, trying to process what she’d almost said, while subconsciously denying that we were even having this conversation. “I get the picture, and I don’t need to hear about it.” Or think about it, or ever, ever get stuck with a visual. “And anyway, that’s not normal, Sabine. In fact, it’s messed up. Sounds like you two had nothing in common but sex.”

Hurt flickered across her tear-streaked expression, and again, my heart beat a little faster in satisfaction. But she recovered quickly. “I don’t think you know what’s normal, Kay. Sometimes messed up is just the way things are. And even if we weren’t a normal couple, so what? Screw normal. Normal is dull, and Nash and I were lightning in a bottle. We burned hard and fast, but never burned up.”

I started to argue, but she spoke over me. “And it’s none of anyone’s else business what our relationship is built on, but just so you understand, I know Nash better than you ever will. You can’t truly know someone until you’ve seen what he’s afraid of, and even if he tells you all his deep dark secrets, you can never understand them like I do. You can never understand him like I do.”

“Get out.” I’d heard enough.

“No.” She locked the passenger’s side door with her elbow and crossed both arms over her chest. “Not until you fix this.”

“Why should I? You haven’t even apologized.”

She frowned, looking genuinely confused. “I can’t apologize.”

My hands clenched around the wheel. “Why not?”

“Because I’m not sorry!” She sat straighter, eyes wide and earnest. “I did what I had to do. It didn’t work, and now I wish I’d done something else, but I had to try, and I’m not sorry for that. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him back. I thought you’d understand that.”

“I do.” I exhaled heavily and stared at the dashboard, then made myself meet her pained gaze. “That’s exactly why I’m not going to help you. Now get out of my car. I have to go to work.”

Her gaze went dark, her full lips pressed into a thin, angry line. “Damn it, Kaylee, you’re going to fix this, or I swear I’ll be in your head all night long, every night for the rest of your life.”

My jaw clenched so hard lights started flashing in front of my eyes. I shoved the key into the ignition and turned it, and when the engine rumbled to life, I twisted in my seat to check out the rear windshield as I backed down the drive. “Fine. If you won’t get out, consider yourself along for the ride. And don’t ask me how you’re getting home, ’cause this is a one-way argument.”

“I can do it, you know,” she insisted a couple of minutes later, like I hadn’t spoken at all. Like I wasn’t halfway to the highway in my stupid Cinemark polo and pants. “Those other nightmares only ended because I let them. I can ride your dreams all night long—as long as I want—and you won’t be able to wake up until I decide you’ve had enough. And that won’t be until you make things right between me and Nash.”

I swallowed thickly as I swerved onto the on-ramp, trying to pretend her threat hadn’t scared the crap out of me. But it had. Aside from the terror she could inspire, my very worst fear was of not being in control of myself. I couldn’t stand the thought of being at someone else’s mercy. And she knew that. But I wouldn’t bend to her threats—not even the big one.

“Threatening me isn’t going to make me help you, you know,” I said, wishing I could watch for her reaction, instead of staring at the road. Because frankly, I wasn’t sure which was more dangerous, the highway traffic, or the mara in my passenger seat.

“Then what will?” She sniffled again, and wiped her face with both hands this time.

“Nothing! I don’t owe you anything, and I’m glad Nash isn’t talking to you! You half stripped and jumped my boyfriend, right in front of me, and you wanted to get caught. The whole thing was just another part of your mind game!”

“Well, yeah,” Sabine said, and I glanced away from the road to see her frowning, apparently surprised by my statement of the obvious. “You knew I was coming after him—I told you that up front. It’s nothing personal. But you’re wrong about that last part. This isn’t a game. This is my life, and he’s the only good thing in it. He’s all I’ve thought about in the two years I spent trying to get back to him, and I’m not going to lose him now. You have to help me, Kaylee. Please.”

Her voice cracked on the last word, and I glanced at her again in surprise. She obviously hated asking for my help, but she’d do anything to get Nash back, and I knew how she felt.

Nash and I had made up, but not because I’d forgiven him. I missed him so much that we’d made up in spite of me not forgiving him. Which meant that Sabine was totally barking up the wrong ex-girlfriend.

“No, I don’t have to help you,” I said at last, and the words sounded so foreign coming from my own mouth that I actually had to repeat them in my head, to reinforce the certainty.

“You are such a selfish bitch! You have everything!” she shouted, and I nearly swerved into the next lane. “You could find someone else to love you—hell, all you’d have to do is open your eyes—but I can’t. Nash is all I have. He’s all I’ll ever have, and I put everything I am into finding him again.” She stopped yelling and swallowed thickly, staring out the windshield for a long moment while we both tried to catch our breath.

Then she turned to me again, calmer now, but no less intense. “Kaylee, I’m not asking you to shove him at me. I’m not even asking you to step aside. I just need you to stop pulling him away from me.”

I flicked my right blinker on and veered smoothly off the highway at my exit, and when I didn’t answer, Sabine tried again.

“What do you want?” she demanded. “You want me to beg?”

The theater was up ahead, and I picked a spot near the back of the lot. “I want you to get out of my car! I couldn’t help you even if I wanted to. Nash made up his own mind.”

“I know, and he’s mad now, but he’ll get over it. I’m pretty sure it’ll take longer without makeup sex, but he will get over it. But he won’t tell either of us that unless you get over it, too. If you forgive me, he’ll forgive me, and we can go back to the way things were.”

“I don’t like the way things were!” I shut off the engine and pulled the key from the ignition. “And he doesn’t, either.”

“Ask him.” She grabbed my arm when I tried to get out of the car. “Ask him if he really wants to be rid of me, Kaylee. He’ll tell you the truth. And if he says he doesn’t want to lose me—at least as a friend—and you still won’t help me, then you’re intentionally trying to make him unhappy. Why would you do that if you really love him?”

“That doesn’t even make any sense! I…” But I didn’t have anything logical to follow that up with, so I could only groan and let my head fall back against the headrest. “You are the most infuriating person I’ve ever met.”

She lifted one brow, half-amused, even with tears still standing in her eyes. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“It’s really not.”

“Yet you haven’t kicked me out of your car.”

“Not for lack of trying!” I sighed again, but recognized the sound of futility in that breath. It was so much harder to hate her when she wasn’t kissing my boyfriend or stalking my dreams. “Sabine, I have to be on the clock in five minutes. And this isn’t going to happen. You can’t seriously expect me to forgive you for a topless make-out session with Nash. Much less sanction your friendship.”

“Why are you always telling me what I can’t do? There’s nothing I can’t do, and the same goes for you, whether you know it or not. And if you weren’t so threatened by me, you’d have no problem with this.”

“That’s it. I’m done.” I shoved open my door and got out. “Lock the doors when you go. And stay out of my car.” And out of my life.

MY SHIFT ENDED at two, and I was relieved to find my car empty. And not so relieved to find all four doors unlocked—a metaphorical middle finger from Sabine. Fortunately, I didn’t keep anything in my car, so there was nothing to be stolen except the car itself, which probably would have happened if I’d been working a night shift.

When I walked through my front door half an hour later, I found a note from my father in the empty candy dish on an end table, where I usually dropped my keys. The note repeated what his voice mail had already told me: he’d driven Alec to the factory for a preliminary drug test and training video, and he’d be back by six with dinner.

What the note didn’t say, but I’d heard in my father’s voice, was that he was unwilling to leave Alec alone if at all possible, after last night’s demon-roping marathon.

So for the first time in weeks, I found myself alone in my house. I would have loved a nap, or even just a couple of hours spent staring at the TV, with no one else around to fight me for the remote. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really relax until I knew how to keep Avari out of my dreams, and out of Alec’s body.

By my best guess, the only reason he hadn’t tried to steal my body was that I couldn’t feed him like Alec could. But it was only a matter of time before I made him mad enough that he’d take me over just to hurt or humiliate me. Or worse. Because if he had the power to possess a half hypnos, he had the power to possess me, and it wouldn’t take him long to figure out how to use my own abilities to cross me into the Netherworld. And I couldn’t just sit around with that thought eating at me like acid.

Unfortunately, I had no idea where to start looking for solutions. My dad and uncle—and probably Harmony Hudson—were already burning their respective candles at both ends, so far without a thing to show for their efforts.

My only idea—some of that weird Netherworld dreamless-sleeping herb Harmony had given Nash while he was sick—was shot down before I’d even fully expressed it. Nash said that the herb would keep Sabine from giving me nightmares—she can’t mess with dreams that aren’t there—but wouldn’t even slow Avari down. He didn’t need us to dream; he only needed us to sleep.

And I already knew from experience that the internet had nothing about hellions. At least, not about real hellions. There was plenty of info on comic book and video game hellions. But nothing of use, unless I had an enchanted sword hanging from my belt or a gang of mismatched but powerful superheroes at my back.

And even then, there were no guarantees.

I was staring at my Betty Boop phone message pad—still blank—when the doorbell rang. Surprised, I dropped my pen and pad on the coffee table and crossed the room to glance out the front window, where I found Tod standing on the porch, his hands behind his back.

Huh. Weird.

I pulled open the door and looked up at him. “What’s with the doorbell?”

He grinned, and a blond curl fell over his forehead. “Just tryin’ on some manners.”

“Why? Who died?” I meant it as a joke, but when his smile faded, I frowned. “Please tell me no one died….”

“Well, I’m sure someone, somewhere, died. But no one I know.” He hesitated, and I stared at him, still trying to figure out what the reaper was doing on my porch. “Can I come in?”

I shrugged and stepped back to clear the way. “You don’t usually ask permission. Or use the door. So…what are you delivering today—pizza or death?”

“Both, actually.” He pulled his arms out from behind his back as he stepped over the threshold, and his right hand held a grease-stained medium pizza box. “Pepperoni for you now, and a fatal aneurism to the woman in room 408, in about ten hours.”

“Thanks.” I took the box and closed the door behind him, a little disturbed that I was only a little disturbed by the mention of his night job. “What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion. I need to talk to you, and I was hungry.”

Okaaay… “What do we need to talk about?” I set the pizza box on the coffee table and flipped open the lid to find the pie still steaming and gooey with cheese.

But instead of flopping into my dad’s favorite chair, Tod stood in the middle of my living room, watching me like he wasn’t sure what to do next. “Are you alone?”

“Not as alone as I was a minute ago,” I said, and at that, he cracked a smile—but a small one. “What’s up, Tod? Is something wrong?”

“We need to talk about Nash. And Sabine.”

I dropped onto the couch and grabbed a slice of pizza, then gestured for him to help himself. “Pizza isn’t enough to get me to talk about Sabine. You should have brought chocolate.” I chewed my first bite as he sank onto the opposite end of the couch, but made no move on the pizza. “She broke into my car this morning and wouldn’t get out, so I had to take her to work with me. Then she left my car unlocked, like a tribute to suburban crime statistics.”

Tod’s mouth quirked in a half smile. “You’re lucky she didn’t take a bat to it.”

“So I hear. That girl is seriously damaged.”

“I know. She came to see me after she left the theater.”

“At work?”

“Yeah. She’s hurting, Kaylee.”

“I know. Now explain the part where that’s my fault.”

“It’s not. But she’s not the only one. I talked to Nash after that.”

I frowned and swallowed another bite. “You have too much free time. Two jobs, yet you’re never at either of them. I’m in the wrong line of work.”

He shrugged and glanced at the pizza, but didn’t take a slice. “I have a lot of ‘driving’ time to kill, so I stopped by home—” by which he meant Nash’s home “—on the way to a delivery address.”

“Convenient.”

“Yeah.” He frowned. “It almost makes up for the whole walking corpse thing, huh?”

“Anyway…”

“Anyway, Nash is in bad shape, Kaylee. On Friday, he had been reunited with a good friend and was a couple of steps from getting back together with his girlfriend. Today he has neither one of those.”

“He has me,” I insisted. “We kinda made up. He even came over last night.” Or early this morning…

“Yeah. You ‘kinda’ made up. In the sense that he’ll drop everything to come running when you call, but you still haven’t forgiven him enough to deal with his problems. Which means that he’s still alone in every way that counts. And being alone is really hard on his willpower.”

I made myself swallow another bite. “By willpower, are we talking about resisting certain Netherworld addictive substances, or certain willing ex-girlfriends?”

“I’m talking about frost, Kaylee. Demon’s Breath. He can’t do this on his own, and Mom and I can’t be there all the time. Especially now that I have two jobs.”

“When were you ever there?”

“I was around. He just didn’t know it. But I’m not gonna let my brother start using again.” He looked right into my eyes then, and I saw a hint of true turmoil flicker in the cerulean depths of his eyes. Turmoil and…something else. Something even more aching and suppressed. “Being alone and in pain makes everything harder to resist, and right now Nash is hurting because he knows you can’t forgive him. And he’s resisting something that already has a hold on him. He’s fighting the undertow, Kaylee, and he needs your help.”

Nash hadn’t said anything to me about that. He didn’t talk to me about his cravings or the lingering effects of withdrawal, because he knew I wanted nothing to do with that part of his life.

“You think I should forgive him?” Like it was just that easy.

Tod blinked and met my gaze. “I think you should give him up. You need to let Sabine have him.”