Monument 14

^{CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO} JAKE TV

Niko, Alex, and Jake went away to prepare Jake for his trip.

Astrid volunteered to go take care of Brayden.

Which left Josie and me to lie to the kids.

“What happened?” Max said, as he came to the door.

The little kids came out cross and sullen and unforgiving. They blinked and looked dazed in the full light of the store.

And Josie and I pulled ourselves up and lied and lied and lied.

“Kids, some bad stuff happened last night,” Josie told them. “Mr. Appleton took a turn for the worse after you all went to sleep, so Robbie said he wanted to go out and get help, right, Dean?”

“That’s right. And then Brayden went to get the men’s guns from where we had hidden them and he fell…”

“Yes, that was the shot you heard.” Josie stepped in. “Brayden shot himself in the shoulder. Fortunately, he’s okay. He’s going to be just fine.”

The kids looked so puzzled, you could almost see question marks spinning in their eyes.

“But there were two shots,” Max protested.

I looked at Josie.

“No,” she said. “That was just the ricochet.”

“The what?” Chloe asked.

“A ricochet,” Josie repeated. “Like an echo.”

“I don’t think so,” Max said, crossing his arms.

“Where’s Robbie?” Ulysses asked.

“Well, that’s the thing,” I said, bending down. “Robbie left. He wanted to go and find our parents as soon as possible.”

“And get help for Mr. Appleton,” I added. I just didn’t have it in me to tell them he’d died.

I looked at Josie and my look conveyed: Let them accept the bad news about Robbie first, then we’ll tell them about Mr. Appleton later.

It must have conveyed that, because she said, “Yes, Mr. Appleton is sleeping now. A very deep sleep. We must not disturb him.”

Caroline and Henry started crying. Ulysses was already dissolving in tears.

“But there is good news,” I said, scrambling. “Robbie left Luna behind. He said he wanted Ulysses to have Luna, because he’s such a good boy.”

Ulysses buried his face in Josie’s shirt.

“Let’s call her now,” Josie said. “Luna! Luna!”

The kids started calling Luna in their sweet little voices.

Josie looked up at me.

“Breakfast,” she said. “Something with a lot of protein.”

By the time I had fed the kids their breakfast of egg-and-cheese Hot Pockets, Niko and Alex had Jake all geared up. I brought a tray with food on it to them, where they were getting ready, in the Media Department.

Jake wore layer upon layer of sweatpants and sweatshirts—M through XXL. He looked like a padded dummy. They hadn’t wrapped his head yet so he sort of had a pinhead effect going on—this very round, puffy body with Jake’s regular-size head poking out and grinning at us all.

“What are you doing?” Max asked.

The kids all laughed at Jake. He looked so silly.

Niko shot me a look that said, You didn’t tell them?

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. We’d had plenty to tell them, already.

Jake had a backpack, which I saw was stocked with jerky, trail mix, and water, as well as two extra flashlights.

I knew he also had one of the guns.

God, I hoped it was enough to keep him safe.

Alex was finishing the hookup of the video walkie-talkie.

The walkie-talkie was strapped to Jake’s torso by layer upon layer of duct tape. This gave the chest section of Jake’s ensemble a weird, girdled look. The camera side of the walkie-talkie pointed out. An earpiece was wired up Jake’s neck, taped down to his skin, as if he was a narc going on a drug bust, or maybe an FBI guy.

“How do I look, booker?” Jake asked me.

He looked like a fat super-gadget-oriented exercise fanatic.

“You look tough, man,” I answered.

“Liar.” He laughed.

It was good to see him with some purpose again. He still looked pale and bedraggled, but at least he was smiling.

All the kids gathered around, but still gave us space to work. Josie patiently explained what was about to happen.

The kids were amped.

Chloe squeezed Luna hard. That dog was going to have to get used to a lot of love.

She was a good dog, just licked Chloe’s face until Chloe released her.

Alex switched on the walkie-talkie and then crossed to a bigtab. It was one that had been in a box, so it hadn’t been damaged at all by the quake. Now, it was plugged in to the power system and had a cable slotted into its AV IN port, which ran to the other walkie-talkie.

Alex turned it on, and suddenly an image came up—it was Caroline and Henry, who happened to be standing right in front of Jake, huddled together and sucking their thumbs.

“Hey!” they said in unison, seeing themselves on the bigtab.

We all cheered.

Jake turned his body, and as he did, the image on the monitor panned across us.

The light was dim. It was hard to make us out totally, but there we were. Dirty, I noticed. We all looked a lot dirtier and scrawnier on camera than we did to my eye.

Maybe I’d just gotten used to our level of grime.

“This is awesome,” Jake said.

He bounced up and down and the image bounced up and down on the screen. He got all up in Max’s face and the image on the screen zoomed in on a very happy Max, sticking out his tongue and making a silly face.

“Okay,” Alex said. “Say something.”

“What up, what up?” Jake said. “I am broadcasting to you live from the Greenway on the Old Denver Highway in Monument, Colorado!”

The volume was way too low, but we could hear his faint, tinny voice coming out of the walkie-talkie.

“See if you can hear me,” Alex said.

Alex sat on the ground next to the walkie-talkie.

“Can you hear me, Jake?” he said into it.

“Yes. Jesus, it’s loud in my ear,” Jake complained with a grin. “Man, this is awesome. I feel like an astronaut!”

Niko stepped forward.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Niko said. “We know it’s dangerous out there, Jake.”

“Dude,” Jake said. “I got it all under control, Niko Knacko.”

“Niko Knacko,” Max echoed with a smile.

Jake was back. Fun-loving Jake.

This was what he had needed, I thought to myself. Jake needed a chance to be a hero again.

Astrid appeared.

“Brayden’s temperature is rising,” she said. “I don’t like how he looks. He’s thrashing around.”

“Then there’s no time to waste,” said Jake. “Let’s get this thing going.”

Astrid looked away.

“I’m going to go sit with Brayden,” she said.

“I’ll keep you company,” Sahalia said.

Sahalia seemed subdued and quiet now. The two girls went off together.

Astrid couldn’t meet Jake’s eyes.

“See you soon, Astrid,” he said.

“Yeah,” she said.

“Let’s get your head wrapped,” Niko said to Jake.

Alex and Niko had figured out a system of an air mask, with several of those fleece ski masks with the eyes and nose cut out, over the top of the whole thing.

Niko brought the heavy rubber air mask down over Jake’s face.

Jake put his hand up and futzed with the earpiece and the microphone, getting them in a comfortable place under the mask.

“Jake, can you hear me?” Alex asked as Niko began putting the ski masks over Jake’s head. It was hard to get them over the air mask.

“It’s okay,” Jake said, trying to wave Niko off.

“No,” Niko said. “Just give me a second.”

So Jake stood still while Niko fitted the fleece balaclavas into place.

“Can you say something?” Alex repeated.

“Testing, testing, one-two-three,” Jake said. His voice came muffled—both through the mask and through the small speakers of the walkie-talkie.

Alex looked at all of us.

“It’s a go,” he said. “We’re a go.”

“Okay, let’s go,” Niko said.

Everyone started to walk toward the storeroom to see Jake off.

“Wait!” I yelled. “You guys can’t all go back there.”

“Why not?” Niko asked.

“There’s stuff back there,” I said, willing him to remember that Jake and I had stowed Robbie’s bloody, destroyed body back there.

“Oh yeah,” Jake said, the sound muffled through the mask.

“And the compounds.”

“You’re right,” Niko said. “Alex can help Jake up onto the roof.”

This meant Alex needed to outfit himself with a gas mask and a couple of layers of clothing, too.

“Guys,” Chloe said to the kids. “Let’s get chairs and popcorn and treats for the show!”

The other kids ran, giggling and excited, to go bring over comfy furniture from the Living Room.

Ulysses was the only one of them who still seemed sad about Robbie and Mr. Appleton. The rest of them were psyched to be watching TV.

“Good luck, Jake,” I said, while we waited for Alex to gear up.

Jake shook my hand, then Niko’s.

“Hurry back,” Niko added.

The kids were still off foraging for snacks, when, on the screen, Jake walked past Robbie’s body on the air mattress. I stood in front of the monitor to block it, just in case one of them came back.

On the bigtab, I saw as Jake and Alex walked up the metal staircase leading to the hatch.

Alex pulled a big metal pin out of a socket and the hatch swung down.

Jake must have gone first. Then on the monitor, I saw Alex’s masked face. Alex handed up to Jake a bundle of chains and rungs. The safety ladder, I realized. Then Jake extended his hand and helped Alex onto the roof.

Just the thought of Alex being up on the roof scared me.

Jake clipped the safety ladder to the side of the building and then the rungs fell down away from the camera, into darkness.

Jake turned back to Alex and shook his hand.

“Hey, little man, don’t worry.” Jake’s voice came through the walkie-talkie. “I’ll be fine.”

Alex said something we couldn’t hear.

“You got it,” Jake answered.

The kids came running back with pillows and beanbag chairs. Chloe came from the opposite direction with a big bag of popcorn, a bag of miniature candy bars and a six-pack of Mountain Dew. Yikes.

The image moved as he went rung by rung, down the ladder, but it was very dark.

“I can’t see anything!” Chloe complained.

“Me either,” echoed Max.

“Make it lighter!” demanded Chloe.

She moved to touch the walkie-talkie.

“Nobody touches that but Alex!” Niko shouted.

Chloe jumped.

“Where is he, then?”

“He’s pulling the ladder back onto the roof and then he has to wipe down. Now shut up and watch!”

I’d never heard him so stern. But I was glad. I just wanted to watch Jake TV.

It was hard, actually, to make anything out. Every step Jake took made everything shaky, and it was so dark.

“Can you stand still for a moment so we can see what you’re seeing?” Niko asked softly into the walkie-talkie.

“All right, what you’re seeing here is the sky and the horizon.”

Jake stopped and we saw, well, not much, really. A dark sky and a dark ground and a glowing strip of light between them.

To me, it looked like black-and-white footage of the sky before dawn. But I knew it was at least eight a.m. Maybe ten.

“We’re not seeing much,” Niko said. “Are you able to see?”

“It’s dark,” Jake said. “But I can see. I don’t want to turn on a flashlight because I feel like it would attract attention. But I’ll tell you, it’s darker than I expected out here.”

So now we knew something. It was darker out there than we were expecting.

The image jounced with his footsteps. We could see faint spots of color and different areas of grayness, but we couldn’t make out anything.

“I’m in the parking lot. The cars are still here from the storm. They’re all beat to heck. Check this out.”

He brought his torso close to a car. In the light reflected from the walkie-talkie, we got a close-up of the surface of the car. It looked rough and pitted. Wafers of paint sat atop the rusty, flaky surface.

“I think the compounds are eating away at the metal.…”

We could tell he started walking again by the loping bounce of the image.

“Just picking up the pace a bit,” Jake said. “My eyes have sort of adjusted out here. Don’t want to waste any time.”

According to the route we had all worked out, Jake was now heading through the parking lot and across Old Denver Highway. He had maybe a quarter of a mile to go to reach I-25.

Just past it, on the other side of Struthers Road, was the Lewis-Palmer Regional Hospital.

“Okay, now. I can see the highway,” Jake said. “There’s lights, actually.”

“Oh my God!” Josie said, excited.

Alex came running back.

His face was red, fresh-scrubbed, and he wore new clothes.

“Did I miss anything?” he asked us. He went right to the walkie-talkie and took his place in front of it.

“He’s walking through the parking lot,” Niko said. “There’s lights near the highway.”

On the screen we could see circles of light, the size of a Tic Tac, bouncing in the distance.

“There’s the lights!” shouted Henry.

Jake’s footfalls sped up for a moment, and then they slowed.

Suddenly, the image went black.

“Someone’s coming,” he whispered.

“What’s happening?” Chloe said. “Why can’t we see?”

“I think he’s crouching down,” I said.

We waited.

“Ask him if he’s okay,” Alex said to Niko.

“No,” Niko said. “If he’s in danger, they could hear the sound from his earpiece.”

Finally Jake spoke.

“They’re gone,” he said.

“Who was it?” Niko asked. “Could you tell?”

“It was two people. Walking together. They have suitcases. The rolling kind.”

Two postapocalyptic nomads with rolling suitcases. Surreal.

“They were all bundled up so I couldn’t see if they were women or men or anything.”

“Jesus,” Josie moaned. She looked stricken. “They could be anybody.”

It was true. They could be people we knew. But Jake couldn’t stop them and ask them. They might rob him or kill him or God knows what.

But they could have been people we knew (and loved).

Like our parents.

I looked behind me and caught sight of Astrid. I guess she’d left Brayden in Sahalia’s care.

Astrid was sitting cross-legged on the floor at the back of the group. Luna had her head in Astrid’s lap and Astrid was rubbing the old dog’s head absentmindedly.

On the screen, the lights got steadily bigger. Every few moments they would dip or blink off, as Jake’s motions took his torso away from them, but then they would come back.

“The ground’s real boggy,” Jake said. “The plants are all dead and everything is, like, rotting.”

He slowed.

We could hear his breathing, amplified by the face mask he was wearing.

We all shifted in our seats. Caroline and Henry were gripped on to each other like they were a life raft.

“Here’s what I’m seeing,” Jake whispered to us. “The highway is mostly clear. There are cars every once in a while, but at least one lane is clear. There are some kind of military-looking lights at the side of the road in intervals of, I don’t know, fifty yards apart, maybe.

“There are lots of cars pulled off on the sides. Looks like they’ve broken down, but I can’t tell how long they’ve been there. Could be from the hail, or more recent. The road’s in bad shape. The quake broke it up in places. The quake broke everything up.”

Jake’s breaths were rhythmic and steady. It seemed too intimate a thing, to listen to his breathing like that.

And then it grew faster.

“Just… picking up… the pace a bit…,” he said, slightly breathless. “Hard to breathe in this thing.”

There were a few streetlights on, which was somehow surprising to me.

“Okay,” Jake said. “Just a nice stroll on a nice quiet street.” His voice was nervous.

“The streetlights are on?” Niko asked into the walkie-talkie.

“Yeah, and I’ve got the gun out. Just in case anyone’s watching me.”

Jake walked in the darkness, for what seemed like forever.

The kids ate their popcorn and I wanted to shush them, but I couldn’t even spare the breath.

Jake approached the hospital.

“It’s not looking good,” he said quietly. “It’s dark. No lights anywhere.”

We saw a ghost of a building, windows crashed out.

“The hospital’s dead,” Jake said. “There’s nobody here.”

“Shoot.” Niko dropped his head into his hands. “What are we going to do?”

On the screen, the walls of the hospital seemed to be fluttering, moving.

“What are we seeing?” Alex asked into the walkie-talkie, taking it over from Niko.

“There’s flyers up. Letters, notes, pictures,” Jake said.

He drew close so we could see.

A flyer of a photo of a middle-aged man: “Missing, Mark Bintner. Last seen on Mount Herman Road.”

“Have you seen my daughter?” A photo of a pretty blond toddler.

A hastily scribbled note: “Grandma, I’m still alive! Going to Denver.”

“Everyone’s gone,” Jake said as he continued to scan over the flyers.

There were multiple flyers saying the same thing: ALL SURVIVORS GO TO DENVER TO BE AIRLIFTED TO ALASKA. DEPARTURES EVERY 5 DAYS ON THE FIVES.

“Every five days on the fives,” I said.

“What day is it?” Josie murmured.

“It’s the twenty-eighth,” Niko answered grimly.

There was a photo of a girl in a prom dress.

A photocopy showing someone’s grandmother.

A picture of a woman taped to a paper: “Anne Marie, Find me at DIA!—Lou”

And there, our Christmas card.

“Stop!” I screamed. “Tell him to go back. That’s our Christmas card! That’s our Christmas card!”

Niko told Jake to go back and he found the card.

My mother, my father, Alex, and me.

Standing in front of our house.

Smiling, waving.

I grabbed my hair with both hands.

“What does it say?”

Jake took the card off the wall. He held it in his hands and opened it.

“Seasons Greetings from the Grieders!” it said in pretty red writing. And below that:

DEAN AND ALEX, in my father’s neat print.

WE DIDN’T DIE. STAY SAFE OR GET TO DENVER.

WE LOVE YOU ALWAYS.

Alex and I launched ourselves at each other and embraced.

Everyone seemed to be crying along with us and I felt myself hugged, embraced by bodies from every side.

Josie, Chloe, Batiste, and Ulysses were hugging us. Henry and Caroline, Niko, even Astrid. We were at the center of the group and everyone was hanging on to each other.

I don’t know if we were crying that they might be alive or they might be dead or if it was just that contact had been made.

“Oh God,” said Jake’s voice. His voice was thick with tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, guys.”

He moved away from the hospital.

“I’m not… I’m not coming back. I can’t do it anymore.”

“What?!” Astrid said, breaking away from the group.

“What did Jake say?”

There was the sound of tape ripping and the bungling sound of clothing being rearranged.

“What is he doing?” Astrid asked.

The angle of our feed changed suddenly and I realized Jake was taking the video walkie-talkie off his chest.

“Tell Astrid I’m sorry,” was the last thing we heard him say.

We all stood in front of the monitor and watched.

Jake set down the video walkie-talkie on the street.

We could just see his boots. The pavement. The darkness beyond.

Jake walked away from us. Away from the camera.

And all we could do was watch him walk away, disappearing into the black day-night.

“No!” Astrid wailed.

The kids were clinging to each other and to us, sobbing.

Niko strode away, his hands in fists at his sides.

Astrid slid down on the floor. Caroline and Henry heaped themselves onto her lap, hugging her and crying. Astrid buried her face in Caroline’s hair and wept.

Maybe two minutes later we heard a mechanical growl. An engine VROOM-ing to life. Luna started to bark. The sound came from the opposite end of the store.

It was the bus.

Niko had started the engine.

^{CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE} THE BUS

The sound of the bus rumbled through the store.

As if in a daze, we wandered over to it. Like the engine’s roar was casting a spell on us.

The engine shut off, just as we drew near.

It was sitting there by the front doors, where it had always waited. Niko came to the door of the bus.

“You all have ten minutes to get a bag packed. It should be mostly clothes. You can bring one special toy,” Niko said to us.

“Wait!” Astrid said. “What are we doing?”

“Brayden needs a doctor. So we’re going to take him to one.”

“To where?” asked Max.

“We’re going to Denver.”

The screaming, the hoorays, the giddy laughing were all deafening.

I felt sick to my stomach.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Can’t we talk about it?”

Niko walked over to me as the little kids skittered away to pack. Alex came to stand at his side.

“Brayden’s worse. The wound is infected. He looks green!” Niko said.

“But the roads!” I said. “They could be damaged or blocked—”

“He’s going to die if we stay here.”

“But, Niko—”

“You have ten minutes to put together a bag. You know the bus is stocked. We’ll be fine.”

“Dean,” Alex said. “It could be our only way to see Mom and Dad again!”

“You want to see your parents?” Niko asked.

“Of course I do,” I shouted. “But I don’t want to turn into a blood-drinking, bone-chewing monster on a bus with a bunch of eight-year-olds!”

“We’re going to sedate you,” Niko said. “Alex and I discussed it.”

He nodded to Alex.

“What?” I asked.

“We’re going to sedate the three of you with O-type blood, and also tie you up, as a precaution,” Alex said.

“Thanks for having my back,” I said.

It was logical, but it still felt like a betrayal, especially with the two of them trying to convince me together.

“Plus, maybe the compounds have dissipated a bit by now,” Alex said. “Your reaction could be less severe.”

“I don’t have time to argue about this anymore,” Niko said. “It’s my decision and if it’s wrong, I’ll live with it. But I can’t let him die and not do anything about it.”

“Niko, you’re supposed to be the smart one,” I said. “Cautious and smart and thinking everything through.”

“This bus is a tank,” he said to me. “It will get us there, I know it.”

“We have to go,” Alex said. “It’s our only chance to see them.”

“And if we’re going, we have to go now. The next evacuation is in two days.”

I turned and walked away.

“Where are you going?” Alex called.

“To pack my bag, of course,” I spat out. “What choice do I have?”

“Hurry,” Niko called after me. “I need your help to load Brayden onto the bus.”

I went and grabbed a backpack from Sporting Goods and then I went to Men’s Clothing.

Inside, I was ranting.

It was stupid. It was a big mistake. They didn’t understand what the compounds would make me do.

And what about the roads? What about the bandits?

“It’s a bad idea,” came a soft voice behind me.

It was Astrid. She looked small and scared under the bright fluorescent lights of the store.

“I know,” I said.

“We shouldn’t go,” she said.

“I know. Niko is so scared Brayden will die that he’s risking everyone.”

Astrid stepped close to me and embraced me.

She pressed her face to my chest and held me tight.

It felt so good. Like we were magnets, meant to be fitted together. I put my arms around her and held her to me.

“Stay,” she said. “Stay with me, Dean.”

“What?”

“I’m not going,” she said, pulling away to look up at me. “And I want you to stay with me.”

My heart was in my throat. My vision was swimming.

She was going to stay and she wanted me to stay with her?

“You want me to stay with you?” I said. “Me?”

She pulled out of my arms and drew back a step, putting her hands in the pockets of her vest.

“I mean…” She blushed. She was blushing.

“I’m not going,” she said, not meeting my eyes. “I can’t. And neither should you. The compounds will make us into monsters. They don’t know what it’s like. We do. You and me and Chloe, we need to stay.”

So… what? Huh? That’s what I felt like saying: huh?

She was asking me to stay because I had the same blood type? She was advising me to stay because of the compounds?

What had the hug meant?

It felt like it meant everything.

I guess she was hugging me because… I was a nice guy. I was her friend.

I stuffed a couple sweatshirts into my backpack.

“Well?” she said.

“I don’t know what to say, Astrid. I have to go with my brother. We have to stick together.”

“Then get him to stay, too. He’s logical. Alex will know it’s the right thing to stay.”

“No, he wants to go. He thinks this is our only chance to find our parents. He’d never stay.”

“We can’t go! We’ll kill somebody!”

I turned to her.

Tears were streaming down her face. She wiped at them with the back of her hand.

“Please, Dean.” Every time she said my name it was like a warm knife, slicing my heart right through.

“Astrid,” I said. “We’ll wear gas masks the whole way. They’re going to sedate us and tie us up. We won’t be able to help them, but we won’t kill them either.”

I shoved some jeans in my bag.

“Who knows? Maybe Niko is right. Maybe we’ll make it just fine.”

“No,” she said, near hysterics. “I can’t go. I can’t go. I can’t go!”

“You’ll be fine—”

“I’m gonna have a baby.”

“What?” I said.

She crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Been sure for a while now. I’m four months. Maybe more.”

“Four months?”

She lifted up her sweater and undershirt.

I saw the creamy skin of her beautiful diver’s body. And yes, there was a bump there. A swelling. Right under the navel, a rise. How had I not noticed it before?

She dropped her shirt and put her hands up to cover her face. She was crying softly.

“Oh, Astrid,” I said. And I stepped to her. Took her in my arms and held her.

“But don’t you think it means we have to go?” I said quietly. “We should go so we can find a doctor. Don’t you think?”

“I thought about that,” she said. “But what will happen to the, you know, the fetus, if he’s exposed to the compounds? What if he’s like us, Dean?”

And then she lowered her voice. “Or what if he blisters?”

I will not share the grisly images that came into my mind.

“What the heck, you guys?” Chloe said, charging into the aisle. “We’re almost ready to go.”

It was mayhem, everybody scrambling and putting things on the bus and then Josie taking some of the things off (“No, Caroline, you can’t bring wind chimes for your mom!” “But Dean said we could!” “Okay, fine!”), and Niko trying to get everything into some kind of order.

“Finally!” he said when he saw us.

Niko had just finished making Chloe take a sleeping pill. He had ground it up in a teaspoon of jelly.

“I gave her the full dose,” he said. “Hopefully she’ll sleep the whole way. I’m gonna dose you now, but first I want you to help me get Brayden on board.”

Josie and Sahalia were helping the kids get into their layers of clothing.

“Okay,” Niko said as we walked toward the Automotive aisle where Brayden was.

He took out a piece of paper from his pocket.

It was a checklist.

“We have food, water, first aid, extra clothes, valuables to trade—”

We heard Luna barking.

“Shoot,” he said. “We need dog food.”

“Max,” I called back. “Food for Luna!”

He nodded and ran for the Pet Department.

Niko kept reading: “Air masks, layers of clothing, rope, matches, tarps, backpacks, oil, knives, one gun, bullets.”

He looked up at me.

“What else?”

It was an impressive list.

“I can’t think of anything,” I said.

Sahalia was with Brayden. She had taken over his care and now seemed somewhat territorial about him.

She was wearing her own layers of clothing and was struggling to get Brayden into his.

“We’ll help,” I told her.

Niko was right, Brayden looked green.

As carefully as we could, we put zip-front hoodies onto him. Niko dealt with the sweatpants.

“Brayden,” Niko said softly. “We’re going to move you onto the bus.”

Brayden didn’t acknowledge he’d heard Niko. He was limp and clammy.

“Let’s slide the mattress over, then we’ll lift him in.”

So the three of us slid the air mattress to the bus.

All the while I was thinking about what the hell I was going to do.

Josie lay down blankets for Brayden on the second seat of the bus.

Niko and Josie and Sahalia and Alex and I lifted Brayden awkwardly and got him onto the bus. He was able to walk, a little, when we got him up, but then he collapsed into his seat.

“We’re going to get you help, Brayden,” Sahalia said. “You’re going to feel better soon.”

As Niko and I left the bus she asked Niko, “We have pain meds, right? And antibiotics.”

“A whole bin full,” Niko assured her.

Sahalia had grown up a lot in the last couple days.

I wish I was the strong and silent type who never cries and never shows emotion.

But I saw my brother standing there, working with Astrid to take down the plywood wall over the gate, and tears welled up, making everything blurry and shiny.

My dear, serious, smart brother.

How could I do this to him?

“Don’t start taking down that plywood until we are all in our clothes and have our face masks on!” Niko said to them.

“Jeez, what about the gate?” I said, turning to Niko.

“I figured out how to retract it,” Alex said.

I nodded and looked away from him, turning my head so he wouldn’t see the anguish building up in me.

All the others were already in their many layers of clothes. They all had their masks in their hands. Sahalia came off the bus to get her mask.

They were ready.

“Where’s Chloe?” Niko said.

“She got very, very sleepy, so I put her in the bus to have a rest,” Josie said.

I guess a sleeping pill works pretty fast on an eight-year-old.

“Alex, can I talk to you?” I said.

“Here are your layers, Dean,” Josie said, handing me a stack of sweatpants. “And I have your ‘vitamins,’ too.”

“I want vitamins!” Caroline said.

“Me too!” said Henry.

Josie shushed them.

“Alex, I need to talk to you,” I said.

“You can talk on the bus,” Niko said, pulling on his clothes. “Put your layers on.”

I looked to Astrid. Josie was dressing her, pulling sweatshirts over Astrid’s head and helping her to stick her arms through the sleeves.

“Come on, Astrid,” Josie said. “Help me out here.”

Astrid was crying. She caught my eye, pleading with me over the heads of our busy friends. Our best friends. Our family.

“No,” I said. “I’m not going.”

Heads turned.

“Astrid and I are staying.”

Josie looked at Astrid’s face.

“What is he talking about?” she asked.

Astrid nodded, miserable.

“That’s not funny, Dean,” Alex said. He took the sweatshirt Josie was still holding and pushed it into my hands.

“Put it on!”

“We’re staying,” I said.

“No, you’re not!” he shouted.

“We have to stay.”

“You have to come!” Alex yelled. Tears were springing to his eyes. His lips were drawn in a straight line.

“It’s not safe for us to be on the bus,” I said.

“Niko, tell them they have to come! Make them come!”

Niko continued to dress himself.

“Niko!” Alex yelled. “Tell them!”

“No,” Niko said. “They’re right. It’s safer for them and safer for us if they stay.”

Alex screamed and hit Niko. Then turned and attacked me.

I grabbed him and hugged him tight to me.

“Alex, listen to me,” I begged him. “You are going to find our parents.”

“No.”

“And you will know exactly where I am. And you’ll all come get me.”

“Please, Dean. Please!”

“It’s safer for us and safer for you if we stay,” I repeated what Niko had said.

“You’re staying…” He struggled for a breath. “You’re staying…”

He pushed away from me and wiped the snot off his face.

“You’re staying for a girl!” he spat at me. “You’re choosing her over me! Over our mom and dad!”

He walked away from me.

“You love her so much you’re never going to see your family again! I hate you!”

And he turned and boarded the bus.

“Alex,” I said, tears streaming down my face.

Niko put his hand on my arm. He had all his layers on by that point.

“If you guys are staying we need to rethink how we deal with the gate,” he said. “Also, I think you should keep Chloe.”

I looked at Astrid and she nodded.

“She’s not going to like it,” Josie said. “Being left behind.”

She would be furious, when she woke up.

But, really, she would be safe with us and the others would be safe from her.

I carried her warm, heavy body off the bus and laid her on Brayden’s dirty air mattress.

“Is there anyone else who doesn’t want to go?” Niko asked the little kids.

They all were silent.

They looked terrified, clutching their gas masks.

But none of them came forward.

We only took down the center panels. The side panels could stay up because the bus only needed to go through the center doors.

And after refusing to put on the layers so dramatically, Astrid and I did end up putting them on, along with the face masks, because the compounds were going to come into our space.

We’d have to put the wall back up as soon as we could.

“Come on, guys, hurry. Say good-byes and get on board now,” Niko said. “We’re wasting time.”

Max and Batiste and Henry and Caroline all surged over to us and we hugged them. I felt a tug on my hand and Ulysses tugged on my fat, padded arm.

He pressed Luna’s leash into my hand.

“Keep Luna,” he said. “And you memember me.”

He hugged me hard and then got on the bus.

Saying good-bye to them hurt like I was getting stabbed in the heart.

Little Caroline and Henry were weeping. They clung to me until Josie pried them off and sent them up the stairs.

“Dean,” Caroline called. “You have to come. You’re our favorite!”

“I’m sorry, Caroline. I have to stay here and keep Astrid and Chloe safe.”

“Tell Chloe we said ‘bye’, okay?” she said.

Tears rolled down her freckled cheeks. This was agony.

Alex was sitting near Brayden at the front of the bus. He wouldn’t look at me. Niko had gone and tried to talk him out, but Alex wouldn’t come. Not even to put up the gate. He’d given instructions to Niko to give to Astrid.

“So when you hear the air horn,” Niko told her now. “That means press the retract sign, but only for the center gate. Then when you hear it a second time, that means put it back up.”

Astrid nodded.

“I’m sorry, Niko,” she said. “I’m sorry we can’t go with you.”

“I know,” he said.

“You were a great leader,” she told him.

I hated hearing this conversation. Everything had this terribly final feel to it.

“Good luck,” he said.

“You, too.”

And Astrid went to wait for the air horn.

The bus was running now.

Josie and Sahalia were standing by with their air masks on.

All we had to do was take down the last panels and then blow the horn for Astrid to retract the center gate.

“Wait!” I said.

I had an idea. I turned from Niko and I ran.

“Dean! We have to go!!!” Niko shouted.

I hurdled through the store.

Searching for what I needed.

I was breathless when I got back.

I saw Josie and Sahalia were on the bus. I had forfeited my chance to say good-bye to them. It didn’t matter.

I took the stairs to the bus in two steps.

There he was. Front row.

“Alex,” I said. “Take this.”

I held out a blank journal, just like mine, and a box of pens.

“You take this and you write down everything that happens. You write it all and you write it to me. Tell it to me.”

He was sobbing and he reached his many-layered arms to me and we hugged.

“That way I’ll know what happens to you,” I said.

“I will,” he said. “I promise.”

Niko and I unscrewed the last of the screws.

Luna was tied to a four-top in the kitchen. Chloe lay on the air mattress.

All the children were seat-belted into their seats.

I stood at one corner of the final section and Niko at the other.

We pulled and the four remaining plywood sheets came crashing down. I dragged two out of the way. Niko dragged the other two.

Josie stood on the steps of the bus. She has been waiting for the wood to come down. That was her cue.

BWRAAAM! She hit the air horn and tossed it aside.

But under the wood, we had covered the gate in thick woolen blankets and layers of plastic. I had forgotten that.

I reached up, wondering if we should pull down the blankets.

But then the gate started up with a loud mechanical drone. Too late.

The gate went up, chucking and whining with the added padding of the blankets and plastic, but still retracting.

And there was the dark parking lot. The broken asphalt. The ruined cars. The dots of light, far in the distance, that were the emergency lights on the highway.

There was the world.

We had blocked it out for so long.

The engine of the bus roared as Niko put it into reverse and backed out into the lot.

It worked! It rolled! The bus could drive.

Niko honked the horn.

I knew inside they were shouting good-bye, probably crying, but I couldn’t hear them…

They were leaving now. Without us.

I hit the air horn: BWRAAAM!

The bus drove forward into the lot.

But then it stopped. The doors opened.

What was happening?!

Two bundled-up children got off the bus and started running clumsily back to me.

My heart was in my gut. My stomach was in my throat. My nerves were jangling and I rushed forward, outside, my arms out to them, whoever they were.

Then, behind me, the gate started to lower.

I ran to them and slid on the slimy, sticky pavement. I darted past the cracked sections, trying not to fall.

I picked the two children up and ran for the store. The gate was coming down, shutting out the light of the Greenway. It was slicing down, cutting off the view of the Kitchen, the cash registers, the empty carts waiting in their corral.

I threw the children onto the ground, pushing first one and then the other under the gate.

I squeezed under it. My coat—my stupid layers—made it harder. The gate was crushing my chest. The two kids pulling at me, trying to get me in.

I pushed up and to the side, and somehow, I got in.

It had my sneaker but I pulled my foot out of it. The sneaker got left outside, but my foot made it in.

We were inside. Back to our blessed home. Our bright commercial sanctuary from the dark, grisly, true world. Our Greenway.

The two children took off their balaclavas and removed their masks. They were Caroline and Henry.

“We want to stay with you,” Caroline said.

“You’ll keep us safe,” Henry added.

“Can we stay?” Caroline asked. She looked up at me, her face streaked with grime and tears.

“Of course,” I said. “Of course you can stay.”

Astrid came out from the storeroom.

“Oh!” she cried when she saw them.

They ran to her.

She sank to her knees and covered their faces with kisses. Just took their little, grimy, stained faces in her hands and kissed them all over.

Then she hugged them.

And Astrid had them in her arms, she looked up at me, welcoming me with her eyes and I joined them.

Alex was gone.

And Niko and Josie and Brayden and the rest.

Jake was gone, too.

But we had Caroline and Henry and Chloe.

And we had each other.

We were five.