Monster Blood IV

23

“Conan — go back!” Evan warned. But his voice came out tiny and weak. He knew that Conan couldn’t hear him over the growls and snarls of the Monster Blood creatures.

“What’s the big idea?” Conan boomed. “It’s not my birthday! Get these balloons out of my yard!”

“Get back! Get back!” Evan tried to warn him.

Kermit and Andy stood frozen, watching Conan storm toward the bouncing, evil blobs.

Evan waved frantically with both hands. “Get back—!”

Conan scowled at him. “Are you ordering me around in my own yard?”

“But — but—” Evan sputtered.

Conan kicked at one of the creatures. “Whoa. This balloon has hair on it!”

He bent to pick the creature up — and it jumped onto his arm. With a growl, it swallowed Conan’s Coke can.

“Hey—!” Conan protested.

The creature started to swell up from the liquid.

Conan struggled to shake it off. But it clung tightly to his arm.

And then, with a loud, wet POP, it exploded.

Thick slime splashed over Conan’s face. He spluttered, thrashed his arms out in surprise. Wiped the slimy goo from his eyes.

And blinked at two hairy, round creatures clinging to his arm.

“Get these off me!” he shrieked.

With a furious cry, he swung his free arm — and batted the two blobs together. They made a loud SQUISH as they collided with each other. And they dropped to the ground.

Another creature bit into Conan’s leg. Conan stumbled and tripped over another one.

He pulled himself up quickly, glaring furiously at Kermit. “You invented these hairy things — didn’t you!” he accused. “Don’t even answer. It’s some kind of lab experiment — right? I know this is your kind of thing.”

“No. Listen—” Kermit started weakly.

Another Monster Blood creature exploded, sending a wave of cold slime over Conan.

He spluttered again and tried to wipe it away. Then he shook a fist at them. “It’ll be payback time — real soon,” he threatened. “Payback time!”

And he slunk back toward his house, covered in slime.

Evan breathed a sigh of relief. We have enough problems without having Conan in our face, he thought.

Of course, Conan will be back. But we can’t worry about that now.

He gazed over the backyards. The Monster Blood creatures were spreading out over the entire block.

What are we going to do? Evan wondered.

He turned back to the house. “Hey — Aunt Dee is home!” he cried.

“When did she get back?” Kermit wondered.

“We have to tell her what’s happened,” Andy urged. “We need help. We can’t round these creatures up on our own.”

The three of them took off, running across the slime-puddled grass to the back door. A few seconds later, they burst breathlessly into the kitchen.

Kermit’s mom had her back to them. She was stirring a long spoon in a big aluminum pot on the stove. She turned as the storm door slammed.

“What’s up, guys?” She smiled at them.

“We need help!” Kermit blurted out.

Aunt Dee’s smile faded. “Help? What’s wrong?” She turned back to the stove. “Keep talking. I just have to stir this. I’m mixing up a new batch of spaghetti with hot sauce for my reading club tonight.”

“We have a real problem. Andy found a can of Monster Blood, and Kermit opened it,” Evan told her, all in one breath.

“That’s nice,” Aunt Dee replied, frowning at her hot sauce. She sniffed and peered down into the steaming pot. “I think it needs more peppers.”

“Mom — you’ve got to listen!” Kermit pleaded.

“I am listening,” she insisted, stirring harder. “Go on with your story.”

“It’s not a story. It’s real,” Evan told her.

Still stirring, she glanced back at him. “I hope there isn’t any serious trouble, Evan. You are in charge, you know. Being out in the middle of the night and ruining my flower garden is enough trouble for one visit. When I tell your parents—”

“Mom, please!” Kermit begged.

“I’m afraid we do have more trouble,” Andy told her.

“The Monster Blood poured out and formed a little blob creature,” Evan continued, his voice trembling. “It was cute at first. But it drank a lot of water and exploded into two. Then the two exploded into four.”

Evan glanced out the kitchen window. The creatures were rolling and bouncing all over the backyard. Some of them had discovered the garden hose and were soaking up water, inflating rapidly.

Several of them were forcing their way into the big wooden doghouse in a corner of the yard.

Oh, no, Evan thought. That’s where I stashed the Super-Soakers. Plenty of water for them in Dogface’s house.

“Now there are hundreds of them, Mom,” Kermit continued the story. “And they’re not cute anymore. They’ve grown hair, and they’ve turned really fierce. They’re spreading out all over the neighborhood, and—”

“That’s nice,” Aunt Dee said absently, frowning at her hot sauce.

“Mom — just take a look at them!” Kermit pleaded. “Look out the window. Now!”

“I can’t right now,” she replied. “I have to stir—”

The phone rang.

She handed the long wooden spoon to Evan. “I’ve been waiting for that call. Stir for me till I get back, okay?”

Before Evan could reply, she ran from the kitchen.

“I don’t think she heard us,” Kermit said, shaking his head unhappily. “If only she would take one look out the window. Then maybe…” His voice drifted off.

Evan sighed and stirred the sauce. The steam rising up from the pot burned his eyes. “This stuff is deadly!” he declared.

And that gave him an idea.

He glanced out the window in time to see a wet explosion of slime from the doghouse. The creatures had found the Super-Soakers. More of them had clustered around the little wooden structure.

He turned to Kermit and Andy. “Let’s try Aunt Dee’s hot sauce,” he whispered.

“Excuse me?” Kermit and Andy stared at him, confused.

“You want to eat now?” Kermit asked. “I thought you hated Mom’s hot sauce.”

“I do,” Evan admitted, still whispering. “Because it kills!”

“I get it!” Andy declared, her dark eyes widening in excitement. “You think maybe the hot sauce will kill the Monster Blood creatures.”

Evan nodded. “It’s liquid. So they’ll try to drink it. And maybe it will be too hot for them to handle.”

“Maybe it will blow them up for good!” Andy exclaimed.

“Worth a try, I guess,” Kermit said softly.

Evan glanced to the door. No sign of Aunt Dee.

“Quick—” he whispered. “Help me carry the pot outside.”