Lord of the White Hell book Two

Chapter Twenty

By the time that Kiram reached the Grunito house, the streets were dark and a full, yellow moon lit the sky. To Kiram's surprise he found the gates enclosing the vast grounds open. Bright torches illuminated the marble entry and dozens of glossy carriages lined the drive. Footmen in the Grunito colors escorted opulently dressed Cadeleonians from their carriages into the house. Very faintly Kiram caught the melody of Cadeleonian dance music floating from the huge building.

Kiram felt criminal, hiding in the shadows of a cherry tree and watching this brocade and silk-swathed parade of wealthy men and women, their faces glittering with gold dust and their hair powdered black. Gold and silver threads flashed in their clothes and jewels glittered around their necks and hands. No doubt they were all perfumed with the oils of rare flowers and exotic musks.

All Kiram could smell was the blood that clotted his nose. He recalled how out of place Riossa had appeared when she had been admitted alone to Lady Grunito's dance in Zancoda. She had brought the entire room to a silent halt and Riossa had been a well-dressed Cadeleonian girl from a good family, possessing a legitimate invitation. Kiram on the other hand was a ragged Haldiim without so much as a scrap of paper to prove that he knew anyone. His face and clothes were bloodied from a street fight. Just glancing at him a footman would know better than to allow him up the steps, much less through the door.

He slunk away from the light and music and wandered between the cherry trees. He heard a distant bark and vaguely recalled Nestor talking about his father's many dogs. The last thing he needed was to be mauled by a pack of hounds. He ought to just leave.

But he was hesitant to explore the unfamiliar Cadeleonian streets searching for shelter. After his fight with Musni he wanted to be somewhere that felt safe. Knowing that friends were close at hand seemed more important now than any real physical comfort or security. And he could think of at least one place where he could find shelter, if nothing else.

He crept through the shadows, catching distant laughter and music as well as the whinnies of horses. His chest ached in a dull, deep way while his hands felt swollen and clumsy; he hoped he wouldn't have to attempt to force a door open. But the flashing lights of swinging lamps and busy voices reassured him that nothing had been locked up for the night.

At last he reached the stables. They were well lit but nearly empty due to the sheer number of grooms required in the carriage house to attend the needs of so many teams of carriage horses and their drivers. One man shouted to another about a scratch on a carriage door, while another called out for a drink from a flask of white ruin.

Kiram slipped past the carriage house and into the warmth of the stables. Inside he wandered past tack rooms and walls of straw bales until he reached the long rows of stalls where horses of all colors and sizes were stabled. Once he would have been terrified by the way the animals watched him, but now he understood the flick of their ears and their flared nostrils. He felt at ease among them. Most took no more note of him than they would have a new groom.

As he moved farther from the noise and activity of the carriages one big piebald gelding thrust his head out and snuffled at Kiram's hair as if it were a mess of straw. Kiram drew back and patted the horse's muzzle. It lipped at the salty sweat of his brow and then, finding neither an apple nor feed proffered, gave Kiram a bored sigh.

Kiram smiled at the big animal. He didn't know why but just that simple caress of its soft muzzle and warm breath on his skin made him feel a little better, somehow more cared for.

Then Kiram caught the sound of quiet laughter.

"Lunaluz, I'm serious. You eat any more of Lady Grunito's flowers and she's going to banish us both."

At the sound of Javier's voice Kiram wanted to call out but feared he'd just attract a groom. He followed Javier's soft murmurs until he reached an open stall where Javier stood, dressed in costly black and silver brocade, grooming Lunaluz. Kiram noticed the faint glow of gold dust on Javier's skin. He almost shimmered in the flicking lamplight.

Kiram simply watched him. Javier looked so handsome and calm. Just seeing him made Kiram feel sure that he'd made the right decisions last night and today, as bloody and tired as they'd gotten him.

Lunaluz lifted his head, catching sight or perhaps scent of Kiram. Javier turned back. At first he didn't seem to recognize Kiram, then his eyes widened and he strode forward.

"What the hell happened to you?"

What hadn't happened to him, Kiram thought. He'd lost his family, beaten his previous lover to the ground, and then nearly been killed by a stranger. He'd evaded the Haldiim Civic Guards and run across half of Anacleto.

"I've had a rough day." Kiram laughed despite himself. "Can we just leave it at that for now? I don't really want to talk about it."

Javier considered him and then nodded.

"Do you need to see a physician?" Javier carefully lifted Kiram's bloodied right hand. One of his knuckles sported a dark scab from where he'd broken his skin against another man's face. Dried blood caked his nails and fingers.

"No. Most of that isn't my blood."

"Good to know," Javier replied but his expression was still troubled. "Should I ask whose blood it is or would that ruin the surprise when we find the body in the morning?"

"It's nothing so dramatic," Kiram replied, but a shudder trembled through him as if shaking loose the bone deep knowledge that his fight with Musni could easily have turned deadly. If Musni's knife had struck him at a different angle, if Musni's friend had pinned him against that wall a little longer.

It didn't bear thinking about-not now that he was here and safe.

"I had no idea you dressed so formally when you were alone with Lunaluz," Kiram commented just to change the subject.

"I'm simply demonstrating the difference good grooming can make." Javier released Kiram's hand. "He's prone to let himself go otherwise."

"I can imagine," Kiram replied. Somewhere far away a peal of laughter and brassy trumpet notes rose. Lunaluz flicked his ears. "It sounds like Lady Grunito is holding another dance."

"Indeed. She wants everyone to meet Riossa and see that the Grunitos are proud of her despite her common birth."

"That's admirable," Kiram commented.

"It is, but I don't think I can stand one more baron's daughter pretending to faint when I take her hand." Javier scowled. "You really look terrible, Kiram. There's blood-"

"I know. I got hit in the face a couple times."

"Is that supposed to be a reassurance?"

"No," Kiram replied and he realized that he wasn't thinking all that clearly or maybe he wasn't explaining himself very well. "It's just that you know how noses bleed."

"I do." Javier leaned a little closer to Kiram, studying his face. "Come here, will you? I can't just stand here chatting when you look like this." Javier led Kiram to a trough of fresh water. He moistened a cloth and then wiped the blood and dust from Kiram's face and hands. Kiram wanted to protest that he could clean his own face but at the same time it was relieving to be tended.

"I need somewhere to sleep," Kiram admitted at last. "I can't go home."

"Can't or won't?" Javier asked.

"Both." Kiram closed his eyes for a moment. The heat of Javier's body soothed him and distracted his senses, making the ache of his bruises seem to fade. "I had a fight with my mother. She's thrown me out for refusing to marry Hashiem."

"Your mother did this to you?"

Kiram laughed. "She wishes she beat me up this badly. No I.I got into a fight on the street. And it really doesn't matter who it was with. It's over and he's in worse shape than I am."

"A lot worse?"

"I think I broke his knee." A weird mix of pride and horror wriggled through him. "He tried to stab me and I kicked his knee backward. I heard it tear."

"Good." Javier's tone was harsh. "I hope you crippled him."

Kiram hoped he hadn't. He didn't want to be responsible for that. "I'm too tired to think about it."

"You should stay here. I mean with the Grunitos, not in the stables." Javier rubbed his shoulder gently. "Nestor's been wanting you to come for weeks now. He'll be overjoyed."

The voices of two bickering grooms carried to them and both he and Javier drew apart. Neither of the grooms appeared but Javier turned back to Lunaluz.

"Help me bed him down and then we'll get you up into the house."

Between the two of them they finished brushing Lunaluz down and returned the stallion to his stall. Then Kiram followed Javier out of the stables and down a series of winding garden paths towards the back of the Grunito house. Rows of irises filled the flowerbeds and the perfume of lilacs hung in the air.

Soon the sound of music washed over them. Through wide windows Kiram saw the silhouettes of men and women dancing in close couples. He watched them, remembering the night he and Javier had danced at his mother's house. They hadn't ever gotten to share a Cadeleonian dance.

Wistfully, Kiram brushed Javier's fingers with his hand. Javier turned to him questioningly.

"Do you mind if we don't go in just yet?"

"Why would I mind?" Javier arched a brow. "I was the one who escaped to the stables to groom a horse rather than remain inside. But don't you want to warm up inside? At least sit down?"

"I'd rather stay out here with you for a little while." A breeze brushed over Kiram's face; it felt almost warm. Overhead, brilliant stars gleamed around the golden orb of the moon. "I hadn't noticed before, but it really is a beautiful evening for a dance."

Javier studied him a moment then he took Kiram's hand. As he drew Kiram close, Kiram realized his intent. They could hear the music and the moonlight offered them just enough illumination.

At first they were both self-conscious and uneasy. They jostled and knocked knees and laughed at themselves. But then Kiram allowed himself to relax. He forgot about the stables behind them and the house ahead. He focused on Javier's body and his own-the heat of their hands, the rhythm of their footsteps. They looked only at each other.

A familiar grace came to them then; their motions coupled in a perfect synchronicity that could have been battle or sex. But there was no desperation here, no conquest or loss. Their two bodies united in one dance, simple and beautiful and only meant for the two of them.

The music stopped and they stood, still lost in the moment. Kiram thought he might kiss Javier or that Javier might kiss him.

"What the hell is going on?" Elezar's voice boomed through the darkness. Kiram jumped. Javier straightened and turned to face Elezar.

If he hadn't recognized the voice, Kiram might not have known Elezar at first glance. He looked too refined, dressed in scarlet brocade, his hair blackened, gold powder glittering across his face. Even his expression was strange in its uncertainty-both anger and confusion showed as he stalked closer to them. Kiram realized that Elezar was furious with jealousy but didn't understand why. Or perhaps he couldn't bring himself to admit why.

"I'm teaching Kiram the quaressa," Javier said offhandedly. "The Haldiim don't have any dances like it and he can't follow to save his life."

Elezar glared at Kiram but then his heavy brows knit together in dismay at what he saw. He glanced back to Javier.

"Did you beat his face into a tree first?" Elezar demanded. "Or did you bloody his nose after he trod on your toes?"

Kiram lifted his hand to his nose. During their dance he'd somehow forgotten the discomfort of his injuries but now the throbbing ache returned to his awareness.

"I had to soften him up somehow," Javier replied.

"I've been told that a bottle of gin is a lot more effective," Elezar returned with a smirk. His anger seemed forgotten. "So what really happened? Not that it wouldn't take a trouncing to get most men to dance with Javier."

"I got into a street fight with a couple of drunks," Kiram explained before Elezar could think more about what he was saying or Javier could respond. "And before you ask, I won. I beat one man badly enough that I don't think I can show my face in the Haldiim district for a while."

"I told him he could stay here," Javier finished.

To Kiram's relief Elezar replied, "Absolutely."

Inside the Grunito house, musicians struck up a new melody. It sounded familiar but Kiram couldn't quite put a name to it.

"He's not exactly in a condition to present to our guests, though," Elezar commented.

"That's why we were biding our time out here," Javier replied as easily as if it were the truth. "We've been waiting for a chance to slip in through the card room, but it looks like it's still full."

"It will be all night, what with Morisio making his living in there." Elezar sighed. "There's the back staircase around the kitchen. We could haul Kiram up to the second floor that way."

"I'm not a sack of flour," Kiram protested. But Javier and Elezar had already agreed that the kitchen would be the best route. The three of them went quietly.

Near a fountain they caught sight of a man gracefully opening the front of a young woman's gown. The woman offered neither protest nor assistance and seemed to Kiram strangely docile in the man's hands. Kiram wasn't sure but he thought he recognized Atreau's voice as the young man murmured sweetly to the woman. Kiram, Javier and Elezar skirted the couple-the woman's dress was now up around her waist-slinking through the shadows of rosemary hedges they reached the kitchen door.

Inside, only the faint glow of embers in the hearth offered any illumination. An aged dog glanced up from the hearthstones but only wagged its tail as it caught sight of Elezar.

"Wait here," Elezar whispered.

He strolled through the gloom of the kitchen, going first to the dog and patting its big head, then his figure receded into the darkness of the scullery. Kiram could smell the tang of Cadeleonian yeast and cow's butter hanging in the air.

Elezar returned with three tallow candles and thrust them to Javier. Kiram caught a pungent whiff of their animal odor even at a distance.

"I figured you'd be able to light them," Elezar said.

Javier scowled at the candles and for a brief moment Kiram thought Javier found them too rank to light. But then he realized that to set the candles aflame Javier would have to open the white hell.

"We'll attract less attention if we go through the dark," Kiram said.

Elezar snorted derisively.

"Sure. No one will notice us crashing into pots and knocking over cooking stools," Elezar replied. "We'd be very stealthy then."

"I'm just saying that too much light might attract someone. Maybe we could leave the door open to let in the moonlight." Kiram's attention wasn't really on the argument but on Javier's silence and the close tension of his body-the shaking intake of a single breath then its painfully slow release.

"Just light the candles," Elezar said.

All three of them stood in the dark for what seemed far too long.

Then a huge flash of white light flared up from Javier's hand. Elezar's frown and Javier's clenched brow were both clearly illuminated. Kiram guessed that his own expression of concern was probably caught by the sudden burst as well. The light dimmed in an instant to be replaced by flickering candle flames.

Something like suspicion still showed in Elezar's expression.

"My nose hurts," Kiram announced, hoping to draw Elezar's attention from Javier.

"Were you punched in the nose?" Javier asked.

"Yes."

"Mystery solved." Javier sounded tired.

Elezar gave a soft laugh. Then to Kiram's surprise Elezar reached out and patted his shoulder. "It hurts like hell, I know, but it doesn't look broken. You'll be fine."

The pungent odor of tallow curled into the air. Elezar took one candle and Kiram accepted another. They negotiated their way between long wooden worktables, tall stools and racks of hanging pots and pans to a small door. Elezar dug a key out from his coat pocket and unlocked the door to expose a wrought iron staircase.

The steps were small and wound upward at such a sharp angle that Kiram had to wonder how many servants had tumbled down them. Spiraling shadows danced around him in the flickering candlelight.

At last they emerged from behind a decorative panel and stepped out into a long corridor. Large silver mirrors caught the light of their candles and illuminated several doors.

"That's an odd staircase," Kiram commented. "What's it used for?"

"Deliveries from the kitchen to the men's chambers." Javier gave a wicked grin. "Timoteo likes to have his sweets waiting for him in his bed. And of course we use it to creep upstairs."

"More often downstairs when we were children. Javier and I used to sneak out all the time." Elezar led them along the corridor past ornate mirrors and doors painted bright red.

"But Lady Grunito has to know about the staircase, doesn't she?" Kiram asked. Paintings in heavy gold frames hung on the walls but all Kiram could make out of them was shadowy landscapes and ghostly pale faces.

"Obviously she knows, but it suits her dignity to ignore it," Elezar replied.

"The mark of any truly refined Cadeleonian is how well he can ignore indecency without seeming indecently ignorant," Javier said, and Kiram thought he was quoting someone but wasn't sure who. Probably Bishop Seferino, his perennial favorite.

Before he could ask, his attention fell on a black door with gold symbols gilded across its surface. Incantations gleamed even over the doorknob. Javier drew to a halt and Kiram stopped beside him. Only Elezar continued on several steps before turning back to them.

"He might as well use my room," Javier said to Elezar. Then glancing to Kiram, he added, "This room was originally designed for my great-grandfather. The Tornesals have been taking advantage of Grunito hospitality for several generations so it's quite a sight."

"You're sure?" Elezar asked, though Kiram wasn't certain whom he was addressing. "We have an empty guest room."

"It won't have been aired or have a fire. Tonight he'll be more comfortable with me. And that gives your mother the opportunity to decide how best to house a Haldiim guest."

"There's always my…" Elezar didn't seem capable of fully extending the invitation and instead he just shrugged. "Fine. Go clean up and bed down. I'll wait out here for Javier."

Even here in his own house Elezar wouldn't cross the threshold of Javier's bedroom. Kiram, however, walked directly in.

The room turned out to be a suite with gold wards and blessings written across the floor and walls so densely that the chambers looked like they were gilded. Even the bedding bore Cadeleonian blessings embroidered into the coverlet.

"They certainly weren't taking any chances, were they?" Kiram commented.

Javier smiled. "Makes the incantations at the academy look like shoddy work."

Kiram ran his hand over the gilded script and curling lines that decorated the back of a chair.

Javier opened a wardrobe and tossed Kiram a long white nightshirt. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Do you need something to eat?"

"I'm fine."

"Really?" Javier asked. He seemed almost nervous. "I could stay-"

"Not with Elezar waiting outside the door. He's already suspicious as is." Kiram shook his head and found that it didn't hurt too badly to do so. "I'm fine. Really. Just sore and tired. I think my pride is more injured than anything else."

"Not much I can do about that but my bed is yours," Javier assured him. He lowered his voice. "I only wish I could join you in it"

"I wish you could too."

"Later." Javier kissed his lips lightly and then withdrew.

Alone in the glittering gold bedchamber, Kiram listened as Javier and Elezar's voices receded down the hall. He fed a log into the fireplace, then stripped and washed at Javier's basin. Blood rinsed away from his hands and face. Warm light crackled up from the fire as Kiram dressed in Javier's nightshirt and retreated into the soft comfort of the bed.

He didn't think he would sleep-not this early in the evening- but then he closed his eyes and drew in the subtle scents of Javier's body that lingered in the bedding. Moments later he lay snoring.

Intense warmth rolled over him. He thought that the fire must have heated the room more than he'd expected. But when he cracked an eye only embers glowed in the fireplace. Yet a golden light flickered over the gilded walls. He closed his eyes again and drifted, half dreaming of the warm hands that caressed his back and traced the curve of his spine. He stretched into the sensation. The dull ache of his muscles seemed to fade.

Then he felt long fingers slip under his nightshirt to rest on his buttocks.

Kiram opened his eyes again. The golden incantations on the far wall flashed and gleamed.

"Javier?" Kiram asked, though the name came in a rough whisper. He started to roll over to look at the man behind him but a firm grip caught his shoulder, not quite restraining him but slowing his movement.

"Don't punch me," Javier said.

"Why would I punch you?" Kiram turned around and realized why. White flames curled and twisted over Javier's hands and his bare skin looked luminous, almost as if lit from within. Kiram caught a brief glimpse of the hollows of Javier's skull and bones beneath his flesh but Javier drew in a slow breath and the eerie skeletal shadows fled.

"You nearly laid me out flat in the grove last night," Javier replied. "I feel justified in my concern."

"I made it up to you in bed later, didn't I?"

"You did indeed." Javier reached down and stroked Kiram's cheek. Soothing heat rushed over Kiram's skin and the tenderness of his bruised jaw and nose faded. "Is that better?"

Kiram nodded. Javier continued to stroke his cheek and then ran his hand along Kiram's neck. His motions were smooth but very deliberate as he restrained the raw power of the shajdi so that it soothed and warmed Kiram gently. Beads of sweat rose across Javier's brow, but he continued to caress Kiram.

"Lady Grunito feels that it would best for her other guests and you as well if you continued to room with me since you're Haldiim," Javier informed him with a slight smirk. "Apparently, it's now widely agreed upon that being Haldiim makes you immune to my nocturnal corruptions."

"Hardly." Kiram laughed but then he asked, "Did you tell her why I'm here? About my family?"

"No, I told her that you'd come to visit Nestor but didn't feel lively enough to be presented at a formal dance." Javier gazed down at Kiram and smoothed a lock of his hair back from his face. "You do look better now."

Kiram nodded. He felt warm and languid under Javier's hands. As he studied Javier, the light radiating from him receded and gave way the flickering glow of the fireplace.

"I certainly don't look as good as you" Kiram ran a hand over the embroidered silk of Javier's trousers. Silver suns glinted beneath his fingers.

"Maybe not tonight," Javier conceded. "But I'm not the one who was beaten and thrown out of his house."

"I was thrown out of the house first" Kiram clarified. "And then I got into a fight for a completely different reason." It wasn't absolutely the truth. Both arguments had stemmed from his refusal to be what other people wanted.

"Really?" Javier raised a brow. "Your brother didn't do this to you?"

"Majdi?" Kiram almost laughed at the idea of his brother bothering to abuse him. "Never. Beating an unruly son isn't the Haldiim way. Much too straightforward. They just throw you out and make sure no one in the entire community will help you with anything."

Kiram tried not to think on how effective that course of action could be.

He had no idea what he would do for money. How would he even return to the Sagrada Academy or pay for his tuition? Hundreds of anxieties crawled through him but he refused to think on them. Not now.

"But why would your mother do that?" Javier asked.

"It was inevitable." Kiram sighed and leaned his head against Javier's thigh. "Sooner or later she had to realize that I wouldn't ever settle down with Hashiem or anyone else like him. I guess it was sooner rather than later."

"She threw you out for that?"

"She was angry about me breaking her promises and embarrassing her but, yes, what it really came down to was that I wouldn't marry the man she chose." He didn't want to recount the full argument, because to do so would mean passing his mother's insulting words on to Javier. And he felt too ashamed that his own mother could have said such things to do that. When Javier had first come to his house he'd assured him that his people weren't so bigoted as to disdain him for merely being Cadeleonian. At the time he'd feared that Javier might insult them for their strange Haldiim ways. He couldn't have been more wrong.

Javier said, "So she discovered that you and I are lovers?"

Kiram glanced to Javier's face in surprise. He couldn't remember Javier ever outrightly calling them lovers before. Certainly he'd never used the Cadeleonian word.

"Yes," Kiram said. "She found out that you and I are lovers."

"Would it do any good if I talked to her?" He stroked Kiram's shoulder absently.

"No. She's in no mood to listen." Kiram watched the firelight dance across the gilded walls and felt Javier's strong fingers play over his skin. The moment seemed almost perfect. But it couldn't last.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." Kiram's voice failed him.

"What do you want to do?" Javier asked, as if it could be that simple.

"I want to be a mechanist," Kiram replied out of habit, but then a deeper longing came to him. "I want to travel and see the world. I want to be your lover."

A proud smile broke through Javier's concerned expression. "I'd be happy to fulfill your third wish this very moment."

"Very generous." Kiram laughed briefly but then felt cold fear close in on him once more. "That's fine for one night but tomorrow-"

"We'll still be lovers tomorrow." Javier leaned close and kissed him.

Kiram longed to allow Javier's desire to eclipse his own anxiety. But Javier drew back. He straightened and lifted a gold chain from around his neck. As he held the necklace out, Kiram recognized the lotus charm. Alizadeh had blessed it for Kiram and Kiram had given it to Javier with the hope that it would ease his troubled dreams.

"Do you remember the night you gave this to me?" Javier slipped the necklace over Kiram's head.

Kiram nodded. He couldn't have forgotten. It had been the same night that Javier had first called himself a bender and accepted Kiram into him.

And suddenly Kiram realized that on that day Javier too had faced the loss of so many certainties that had once been his assured future. He'd been terrified that night and yet he hadn't backed down-not from the physical reality of sex with another man and not from the loss of his Cadeleonian faith.

Kiram touched the medallion. It still felt warm from Javier's body.

"Do you want to go back to your mother's house?" Javier asked and Kiram could see the fear beneath his composure.

"No, I want to stay with you," Kiram said, realizing that this was what mattered most. He'd wanted Javier and he'd wanted independence and now he had them both. "I made the right choice. I know I did."

Kiram flopped back on the bed and gazed up at the gleaming gold blessings above him. "I'll worry about tomorrow when it comes. Tonight, it's just us."

All the tension drained from Javier's careful expression and he smiled an easy, seductive smile.

"Let's make the night last long then" Javier rose from the bed and then returned with a jar of sweet oil. He rested it on the bedside table as if leaving its use to Kiram's discretion. Javier's generosity and trust touched Kiram deeply. He could hardly believe that at one time he'd felt too unsure of Javier to share his body with him. Now it was all he wanted. Just the thought of taking Javier deep within himself, feeling him so close, sent a shock of longing through Kiram's body.

"You're far too formally dressed for this occasion," Kiram informed him.

"Indeed?" Javier arched a brow and smiled. "Shall I call for a valet?"

"I think it would be wisest if you learned to live with my untrained services." Kiram slid the opulent jacket from Javier's shoulders. He stripped away Javier's silver raiment, taking care with the costly clothes at first but then growing more desperate as Javier kissed and caressed him throughout the ministrations. Kiram gave a soft groan as Javier's hands slid under his nightshirt and skimmed over his loins.

"I'm never going to get these stockings off you at this rate." Kiram laughed breathlessly.

Javier simply grinned.

At last Kiram tossed aside the silver-threaded stockings, leaving Javier beautifully naked. Together they fell back on to the embroidered pillows and made the night last as if another might not come.