Lord of Lies

Chapter 33

In my flight back toward Silvassu, with the smoke billows above the castle looking ever larger, I paused only long enough to remove the heaving moldings of armor that were hampering Altaru's motions. Even lightened this way he had a hard time of it, for the going was mostly uphill, and he was already tired. I pressed him hard, even so. By the time we pounded up to the castle's south gate, he was nearly lathered. I, myself, could hardly breathe when I saw that the drawbridge was down and the iron gates hung open.

We had to pick our way across the bridge, for much of it was char and other parts were still burning. I gagged on the smell of oil with which its stout timbers had been soaked. As we entered the castle, I gagged on the smell of death. Just inside the gates lay the bodies of a dozen Meshian warriors. All of them, it seemed, had been killed by slashes to their throats. In the west ward, the dead were everywhere. Many of these were of the Dragon Guard, whose red armor had been cut open by dreadful kalama strokes. I noticed with grim satisfaction that these ravagers outnumbered the dead Meshians who had fought them here. But I could do nothing except rage helplessly at the sight of all the women, children and old men who had been slaughtered like animals. Hundreds of them lay in pools of blood near the garden wall's gate leading into the middle ward. It seemed that they had been cut down trying to flee toward the safety of the keep.

The much larger middle ward held even more bodies. The garments of some of these had been doused in oil and set aflame. I was not sure that all of them had been dead when Morjin's men immolated them. Carts and wagons were smoldering, too, and bales of straw, barrels, heaps of spears and wooden swords, the timbers in the blacksmith's shop — any and all things that could be set on fire.

The gates to the keep had been battered into splinters and also put to the torch. Many knights had died trying to defend it. I dismounted Altaru and made my way inside. It was a charnel house. The stones in the halls were soaked with the blood of the many dead who had fallen there. More of my countrymen lay in bloody heaps in the various rooms. In the armory swords and spears had been snapped into pieces and cast upon a pile of corpses. The treasury was empty. In my room across the hall, I found Lord Rathald and his family. Lord Rathald, it seemed, had been killed trying to protect his daughter and his grandchildren, who were gathered in the corner behind his cold form. He still gripped his bloody kalama. I did not know why the Dragon Guard who had killed him left it in his hand.

Now I could bear my dread no longer, and I burst out into the hallway. I stumbled over a long line of bodies as I ran toward my parent's rooms crying out as loud as I could: 'Mother! Nona! Mother!' But the rooms were empty. I searched as well in the adjoining servants' quarters, and in the library and the kitchens. I called out for my mother and grandmother, many times. And then I swallowed my gorge and went into the great hall.

And there I found them. Two of the great, long tables had been shorn of their legs, and then upended and bound with ropes against the stone pillars holding up the roof. And my mother and grandmother had been fixed to these tables with nails. My mother was dead. Her tunic was torn with many bloody gashes; to either side of her, the table's wood was riven with deep slits. It seemed that the Dragon Guard, after they had crucified her, had used her for target practice with their spears.

But they had shown no such mercy to my grandmother: I saw to my amazement that she still lived. Blood oozed from her palms and bare feet; her breath barely filled her frail, old body as she struggled to speak to me.

'Valashu!' she gasped out.

I came up to her and kissed her feet. Great spikes of iron had been pounded through flesh and bones, deep into the table's wood.

'We've got to get you down from there!' I called to her. Her head had dropped upon her chest, and I looked up into her milky, blind eyes. 'Please, help me,' she said to me.

I drew my sword and cut the ropes holding fast the table. With a great heaving that nearly broke my back, I eased this great slab of wood onto the floor, between the bodies that lay there. I knelt beside my grandmother. I touched her quavering arms, her bloody hands. I could think of no easy way to pull her off the bent-over nails without further tearing her flesh.

'Who did this to you?' I cried out.

She gathered in a deep breath and murmured, It was. . Morjin. He said that he wanted you to know this. The traitor, Samelu — he held my wrists. And Morjin pounded in the nails.'

'Damn them!' I shouted. I shook my sword at the stones of the ceiling high above. 'Damn them to death!'

'Valashu — '

'Damn them! Damn them! Damn them!'

'Valashu, listen to me!' she pleaded. 'You must help me, please.'

I gripped my sword as I used my other hand to brush back the sodden white hair from her forehead.

'Help me to die in peace.'

I looked down through the blur of water in my eyes at my grandmother's beautiful face. In the soft, anguished lines, I saw to my wonder that there was no hate there. There was no resentment, either, nor anger at her fate — only a warm and overwhelming concern for me. For she, too, was a Valari warrior in her fierce, sweet spirit. And so she said to me, 'Promise me you won't waste your life in seeking vengeance.'

'But how can I not?' I shouted. My fury struck her like a blow, and I bit my lip to see her wince in pain. I lowered my voice and gasped out, 'How can I not slay Morjin?'

'Slay him if you must,' she said to me. 'But do it only because you must … for Ea's sake, not out of vengeance. Do not let the burning for his death destroy you.'

'But I — '

'Please, Valashu. Don't let him kill you this way.'

She fell still then, and I thought she had died. But I felt her heart beating, weakly, somewhere inside her.

Just then footsteps sounded along the hallway leading into the keep. Then Kane, Maram and Atara came hurrying into the room. 'Oh, my lord!' I heard Maram cry out. 'Oh, my lord!' It seemed that someone had told them of my father's death, and they had followed me up from the battlefield.

'We've got to get her off of here!' I said, laying my hand on my grandmother's wrist 'Help me.'

Atara descried a great, iron maul cast onto the floor near the body of a little boy whose brains had been bashed out. She went over and picked it up, and wiped the gore on the surcoat of one of the Dragon Guard, adding another stain of red to the bright yellow cloth. She brought the maul over to me.

'Why don't we try pounding out the spikes from the other side?' she said, tapping the maul against the table.

Kane, Maram and I made ready to lift the table off the ground, but just then, my grandmother opened her eyes. I knew that, somehow she could see the only part of me that really mattered. And she whispered to me, 'Promise me — please promise me.'

'All right,' I told her. 'I will.'

'Good,' she said. And then she died, too, joining my mother, father and brothers in that icy, black emptiness from which there is no return.

After that, we took down both my grandmother and mother from their mounts of wood. We laid them on the cold floorstones. I pulled the great black and silver swan banner off the wall, and covered them as with a shroud.

Then there came the sound of horses and men entering the middle ward outside. Kane told me that Sar Vikan and his knights had ridden up to the castle, too.

'Keep them out of here!' I said.

My grim-faced friend went out of the hall's southern doors for a few moments to confer with Sar Vikan, and then returned, shutting the doors behind him.

I began walking slowly around my slain people, toward the dais at the end of the hall. As I neared it, I had to step over a small wall of Morjin's knights and the Guardians who had fought them. Sunjay Naviru, in death, looked younger and smaller than I had remembered. Skyshan of Ki had fallen next to him, and Sar Kimball, Lord Noldru and many others. I climbed up the dais, where there were more of the enemy; a ring of dead Guardians fairly surrounded the white granite stand.

The Lightstone no longer rested upon it. In its place had been set a square of paper, topped by a piece of gold. I grasped both in my hand and tucked them down into my armor.

Maram came up to me and said, 'Maybe one of our knights secreted the cup on his person. Or had time to hide it, somewhere.'

I swept my sword down toward my dead knights. It glowed only dully. I pointed Alkaladur south, in the direction that Morjin would have ridden with the thousands of his Dragon Guard in order to escape from Mesh with the Lightstone. And its blade flared a bright silver.

'No, it is gone,' I said.

A shudder ripped through me as I tried not to fall writhing to the floor. It was as if one of Morjin's knights had chopped my legs out from under me and then gutted me with his sword.

Kane came over and placed his hand on my shoulder. 'So, then, we'll take it back! We'll ride after them and kill the Dragon!'

Atara shook her head at this. 'No, that's impossible, now.'

'You say that?' he growled out.

'Yes, I do. This was well-planned. Morjin is hours gone from here. We willl never overtake him.'

'We must overtake him.'

'He will have had fresh horses stationed in relays all along his way,' Atara said, holding her hand against her blindfold. 'Our horses are all exhausted and would have trouble galloping a mile.'

'But Lord Avijan still commands a battalion of knights!'

'Half a battalion, now,' Atara said. 'And they, too, are exhausted. I doubt if they have the will to pursue Morjin.'

I wrapped my hand tightly around my sword as I struggled to find the will to keep standing. I stared at the stand's bare granite where once the Lightstone had shone so splendidly. Then I cried out, 'But why did this have to happen!'

The echo of my words off the hall's cold stones, falling like thunder upon the dead, was my only answer.

Kane stepped over to the dais and rolled over one of the bodies there. I ground my teeth together as I stared at the face of Lansar Raasharu.

'It was he who did this,' I said to Kane. 'Somehow, he killed the guards at the gates, and opened them to Morjin.'

'So,' Kane said: 'So.'

'He was a ghul,' I murmured. 'He was the one that Kasandra warned of.'

'No,' Maram forced out, shaking his head, 'not Lansar — it can't be.'

'He always hated Morjin,' I said. 'Too much, for too long. And then, when I struck down Ravik and Noman killed Baltasar, the hate, too terrible — like a robe of fire, you see. It maddened his soul. And then Morjin seized him.'

Kane slowly nodded his head. His black eyes searched for something in mine. 'Yes, it would be like that.'

'And I made it worse,' I said. 'I encouraged Lansar to believe that I was the Maitreya. And so he had already surrendered part of his will to me.'

'So, it was his will to do this,' Kane told me.

'Why didn't I see it?' I said, looking at the wounds in Lansar's body where Morjin must have stabbed him with his own sword.

'Please, don't blame yourself,' Atara said, moving over to my side.

'Why didn't I see any of it?' I said, looking at my sword.

There came a knocking at the door leading into the keep, and I shouted for whoever it was to go away. And I heard Master Juwain's voice call back to me, 'Val, open the door!'

I sent Maram to open it. I turned to see Master Juwain and Liljana walk into the room. Their robes showed almost as much blood as the garments of the dead.

'Why are you here, sir?' I said to Master Juwain. I gazed at Liljana. 'There must be wounded from the battle to attend to. Thousands of them.'

'I'm afraid there are,' Master Juwain said. 'But there are other healers. We heard that the castle had been overrun. And so we came here to attend to the women and children.'

I stared at the black banner covering my mother and grandmother. 'Then you've come in vain. They're all dead.'

But in this, I was wrong. Again, someone knocked at the door, and again Maram went to open it. And Daj and Estrella ran into the room.

'What?' I cried out.

Estrella hurried up to Atara and buried her face against her leather armor as she burst out weeping. Daj clasped my hand in his, and his eyes filled with a wild light.

'We hid beneath the wine cellars,' he explained to me. 'In the chambers there.'

'But there are no chambers beneath the wine cellars!' I said.

But it seemed that there were: secret chambers, as Daj told me, built long ago. Somehow, Estrella had discovered them. Like a rat, Daj had once survived in the dark, tunneled earth beneath Argattha. And now he and Estrella had miraculously survived again.

'At first we tried hiding in the granary, with the others,' Daj told me. 'But then, when Lord Morjin's men started killing everyone and taking slaves, we had to find a better place.'

'He took slaves?' I said to him.

Daj nodded his head. 'Dasha. Priara. Lord Tomavar's wife. Other women.'

'Dasha Ambar?' Maram cried out. Tears sprang-into his eyes. 'Then I'll never go riding with her again! Ah, too bad, too bad. But at least she was spared. These beautiful, beautiful women, still alive.'

'No,' I said to him, clenching my fist, 'they're worse than dead.'

I looked out into the hall, at the still and silent people lying there. The faces of all those I had seen fail that day on the Culhadosh Commons burned like writhing flames in my mind.

'So many dead,' I murmured. I thought of all the women and children taking refuge in Lashku and Godhra and in Mesh's other cities and towns. I thought of all those in the other cities and realms of Ea, and I said, 'So many waiting to die.'

Atara slid her hand over mine and said, 'Val, you — '

'I killed them all!' I shouted.

'No, you mustn't blame — '

'It is upon me!' I said, pulling my hand away from hers. 'If I hadn't gone to Tria, and killed Ravik Kirriland there, the Valari kings would have sent help to Mesh. Morjin would never have dared to invade us.'

'But you can't know that!'

I was hardly listening to her. I said. 'I was warned of a ghul. I thought it was me. But it was I who made Lansar into what he became.'

'No, no.'

'My father was right: I should never have left the castle.'

Any why did I leave? Because I thought that Asaru had called for me? Or because I was all too glad to have a chance to ride out and kill Morjin?

'So many dead,' I whispered, looking about the hall.

And suddenly, their souls called to me from that dark and dreadful place that I had always turned away from, and I wanted to join them. Asaru's dying breath burned from my lips. So did that of Mandru and Yarashan, and all my brothers. My mother cried out my name as spears pierced her limbs and belly. And my father. The son of Elkasar Elahad and all of my ancestors, even the Elahad, himself — calling, calling like wolves lost in an endless night. Surely the moment had finally come to end their proud and ancient line that went back to Adar in the mists of the beginning of time?

So much death, I thought as I gazed at the black shroud covering my grandmother. So much evil.

I hated this dark twisting of the soul as I hated Morjin — as I hated myself. I, freely, of my own will, had chosen to believe that I was the Maitreya. And death had descended upon this wrong as surely as night follows day.

'I knew,' I whispered. 'I always knew.'

Smoke wafted into the room, and I could hardly breathe. I choked on the stench of blood and charred flesh. The end of the world, in a hellish conflagration hotter than the sun, seemed to hang in the air. Cold knives pierced my belly, groin and throat — every part of me. My heart was a swollen sack of poison ready to burst open. There was too much pain. I had brought much of it into the world. I was a murderer, truly, and the punishment for murder was death.

I walked away from my friends, looking for a crack in the floor-stones. I never again wanted to see a child hacked into pieces with a sword. Never to see the terror in a man's eyes when I fell upon him with my sword, never to smell his fear or to hear his shrieks: all that I desired was to join my brother Guardians in peace, quiet and nothingness.

'No, Val, no!' Atara cried out. I I finally found a good place to wedge the hilt of my sword so that I could fall upon it. I moved to do so. But Kane was too quick for me. He leapt across the room like a tiger and grabbed me from behind. He was strong, like a beast, like an angel, so unbelievably strong. His arms encircled me like iron bands.

Maram and Liljana came forward to help hold me, too. Master Juwain pried my fingers open while Atara took hold of my sword. After Kane had let go of me, she gave it to him. He stood holding the bright blade that he had forged long ago. 'So, Val,' he murmured as he stared at me.

'I have another sword,' I told him. 'With it, I killed Ravik Kirriland.' The hate built inside me, hotter and hotter, deeper and deeper. It was like a fire out of the heart of the stars that nothing, least of all I, could resist.

Then Daj stepped closer, and the shackle marks on his wrists reminded me that many had suffered more than I. In the blaze of Kane's bright, black eyes was the assurance that there was no pain so great that a man could not bear it. Maram, I knew, wanted to tell me that we still had many a glass of beer to drink together. Atara touched my hand in love. It was with love and gratitude for her life that Estrella looked at me — and with something more. For she was truly the mirror of my soul. And in this magical child I saw myself, for all my failings: wild, noble and free. Master Juwain and Liljana, too, came up to me, and they rested their hands over my heart. Then Flick appeared out of nothingness, and Alphanderry's bright face shimmered in the air. My friends all surrounded me like a ring of angels. And then they took away my other sword.

'Live,' Kane said to me. 'Promise me that you'll live.' I felt within my hands and heart the life that the One had given me, still pouring through me like a glorious flame. Who was I to put it out?

'All right,' I told him. 'I promise.'

Kane's hand smacked into mine, and then squeezed me, hard, as if testing my resolve. He pulled me up so close to him that I could feel his eyes burning into mine. And he murmured, 'So, Val, so.'

A moment later, he broke away from me. 'Ha!' he cried out. Then he gave me back Alkaladur.

In its silvery substance I saw his savage, smiling face — and my own. I said to him, 'You would have killed me with this, wouldn't you?'

And he growled out, 'Yes, I would have. As it was for Lansar, so it is for you. If you have given up, if you had despaired, utterly — Morjin would have made a ghul of you. Can you not feel his presence in this

room?'

I looked from one end of the hall to the other, and I nodded. 'Now that he holds the Lightstone,' he said, 'his power will be even greater. We must all watch for each other and guard our souls.'

I walked back over to the dais where the Guardians had given their lives, if not their souls, in defense of that which I had forsaken. I laid my hand on Sunjay's forehead. I said, 'I have done such a great wrong.'

'Yes,' Kane told me, 'you have. And your punishment is to live.' I bowed my head in acceptance of this judgment. Once, I had tried to defy the will of the One in trying to rid the world of suffering. Now I would no longer try to flee from my own.

I gazed deep into the silustria of my sword, and I saw a terrible thing: that it was not only my own wrongs for which I must atone, but those of all people who had come before me, on this world and others, back through the ages great and small to the first Ardun who had come forth into being. For my life had been forged in fires that were ignited millennia, even millions of years, before. I had not made the world; I had only tried to live in it. This was not my fate alone. This was the tragedy and glory of life, that all people touched upon each other in their deeds and must suffer the agonies and joys of each other.

Kane came over to me and said, 'We should go, now. There's much to be done.'

'No, I'll never leave this place,' I told him.

I looked about the quiet hall. In the hundreds of bodies of the Guardians near the stand on the dais, I saw my own crumpled form where I should have joined them. A part of me, I knew, would always remain with them. But the part of me that still lived had duties to perform. It came to me then that the dead cannot weep for the dead — only the living can. And with this thought, all that I had been holding inside broke me open. I sheathed my sword, then fell against Kane's chest and began sobbing like a little boy. 'Val,' he said to me. 'Val.'

My other friends moved over to help hold me up. And that was a true miracle. For as Atara's hand found mine and Maram's great arm pressed into my back, my friends all surrounded me, and they fell against each other sobbing, too.

After a while, I stood back and looked at Kane. With his fierce, beautiful face, softened with his regard for me, he reminded me of my grandfather. And Master Juwain was like unto my father, as Liljana was my mother, and Estrella and Daj were the little sister and brother that I would never have now. In Maram I must find all of Asaru's faithfulness, Karshur's strength, Jonathans laughter, Yarashan's bravura and even his blessed vainglory. And Atara. Her long, gentle hand held all my hope for the future and the new family we might call forth upon the earth.

'We should go,' Kane said to me again. 'Go out and rejoin the army.' 'Yes,' I said. 'Perhaps we might still overtake Morjin.'

'You must be king now, Val.'

I brought out the ring that my father had given me. I shook my head. 'No, I cannot be king.'

'You must be. You must take the throne.' 'No, I've brought only destruction upon Mesh. And death.'

'And now you must bring new life.'

'No — I'll renounce the kingship.'

Atara squeezed my hand and said to me, 'Is this too, how you think to punish yourself?'

I drew in a deep breath as I stood gazing at the cloth binding her face.

'Don't you dare punish your people this way!' Liljana scolded me. 'What do you think your father would say?'

Master Juwain smiled at me and bowed his bald head. 'I'm afraid Liljana is right. If you refuse the throne, you'll only bring chaos upon Mesh.'

Maram smiled at me, too, and said, 'Ah, King Valamesh — that's what they'll call you, isn't it? It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?' Daj told me that he wanted some day to enlist in my service as a knight, and without words, Estrella told me much the same thing. And then Kane said to me, 'Only you can be king, Val.'

I bowed my head to the inevitable. 'All right then, if this is what must be, I will.' I put my father's ring on my finger. It fit me well. It pained me to walk with my friends out of the hall, leaving my grandmother and mother unattended — and everyone else. But we had already spent too much time letting Morjin get away. We gathered our horses in the middle ward and met up with Sar Vikan, who informed me that everyone who had taken shelter on the upper floors of the keep. and elsewhere in castle, had been put to the sword. For the moment, it seemed, there was nothing to do except rejoin the army, as Kane had said. And so we mounted our horses, and I led the way out of the westgate and across the charred bridge, back down to the Culhadosh Commons where I would stand before the warriors of Mesh to be acclaimed as king.

It was late in the afternoon when we reached the battlefield. The sun was dropping toward the mountains, but its heat still seared the thousands of men laying upon the grass. Those who had survived the battle worked quickly to prepare the dead for burial. In the sky, the carrion birds gathered and flew in slow, lazy circles.

Lord Tanu had taken command of the army. I found him at the center of the field conferring with Lord Tomavar, Lord Avijan, Lord Harsha and Lord Sharad, who now led the knights of Asaru's battalion. We rode straight up to them past the blood-spattered warriors and knights of Mesh.

'Lord Tanu!' I called out as we drew up before them. 'Lord Avijan! We must mount a pursuit before it is too late.'

Lord Tanu's crabby face tightened into a frown. Despite the tiredness of his old. body, he pulled back his shoulders and stood up straight, which made him seem almost like a tall man.

'Lord Valashu,' he said, 'we've decided that there will be no pursuit. It will soon be dark, and our warriors have no will for it.' The faces of those about me, I saw, were haggard and haunted. As they went about their business of wrapping the dead in shrouds, their limbs trembled with, exhaustion. Their every motion seemed a burden and a pain.

'But how can we just let the enemy get away?' Lord Harsha put in. It seemed that he had been making this argument for hours. 'They will be as tired as we are!'

Lord Tanu shook his head at him, then turned toward me to recount the logic of his decision. He said that the remnants of the enemy were mostly Galdans and Sarni. The Sarni we would never catch, and as for the Galdans, why should we waste the life of even one more warrior hunting them down?

'They will certainly flee Mesh now,' he said, 'and return to Galda, if they can. Their army is broken, and pose us no threat.'

'But what of Morjin?' I said. 'And the Dragon Guard?'

Sar Vikan had already sent word to Lord Tanu of the ravaging of the castle. And so he had learned that Dashira, his faithful wife who had believed that I must be the Maitreya, had been butchered. Lord Tanu's old face screwed up with hate as he said, 'We would ride after them, if we could. But we've had reports that they had remounts stationed along the South Road. There isn't a horse within five miles of here who has the strength to catch up with them.'

Some men find in the murder of their loved ones a terrible rage for vengeance; others wish only for an end to their anguish. I knew that Lord Tanu's sons rode with Lord Avijan. Perhaps he could not suffer them to risk their lives a second time this day.

'But we must try!' I said. 'Morjin has carried off the Lightstone!' Lord Tanu trembled with a barely contained fury as he pointed first at the dead spread out across the field and then back toward the smoking castle. And he snarled out, 'The Lightstone? The Lightstone? That cursed thing has brought only ruin upon our land!'

'No, you're wrong,' I said to him. I turned to look at Lord Avijan, whose strong, youthful face burned with a desire foffevenge. I said to him, 'Do your knights lack the will to pursue Morjin?'

'Not those who saw your father slain,' he told me. 'We would ride with you, if we could.'

I nodded at Lord Sharad, a tall, spare man whose gray hair was caked with blood. 'And you, Lord Knight?'

'After what we saw when you slew the Ikurians after they killed your brother? We would ride with you to the end of the earth.'

'Very well,' I said, to him and to Lord Avijan. 'Then us make ready.'

'Hold!' Lord Tanu said, sticking his palm straight out. 'It has been decided that we will not pursue the enemy — and this includes Morjin.'

'And whose decision was this?'

'Mine.'

'Very well. But a new decision has been made.'

'No, Lord Valashu, it has not.'

'No?' I said, holding up my hand to show him my five-diamonded ring. 'Who is in command here?'

'As long as the warriors haven't acclaimed you, I am.' The light sparking from the white stones in my ring stabbed into my eyes, and I called out, 'Assemble the warriors, then.'

It was a bad time to dispense with formalities, but the ancient laws must be obeyed. And so Lord Tanu gave the order for the army to come together upon the northern section of the pasture, which the battle had left almost untouched. It took quite a while to call the warriors from across the two miles of devastation, and to form up fifty deep in their companies and battalions. Despite their weariness, they held themselves straight as trees, covered in diamonds and blood. I dismounted and stood before the whole army. Behind me, also on foot, were Kane, Atara and my other friends. Between me and my men, Lord Tanu and the other Lords of Mesh gathered close by, facing me along with nearly a hundred master knights who captained the army's companies. Seventeen thousand men had marched to battle here earlier in the morning, and it broke my heart to see many fewer of them still standing here now.

Then Lord Tanu stepped forward and shouted out, 'Who will speak in favor of Lord Valashu Elahad becoming King of Mesh?'

'I will!' Lord Harsha shouted back. His single eye sent out sparks of its own as he limped forward and held out his hand toward me. 'We all know Lord Valashu's character. We all know his deeds. They are greater than those of any of Mesh's kings, not discounting even Telemesh and Aramesh. What more is there to say?'

'Only this!' a sturdy master knight called out. It was Sar Jessu, who had led the reserve battalion to fill up the break in the Meshian line. 'Lord Valashu commanded us to hold back until the enemy lost their senses. It was this tactic that won the battle and gave Mesh our greatest victory since the Sarburn. What more is there to say?'

'Only this!' Lord Sharad shouted. 'Lord Valashu charged twenty of the enemy, and with his own sword, slew eight of them. And then led the attack against the enemy's rear. It was this tactic as well that gave us victory. Forty thousand of the enemy have died here today against four thousand fallen of Mesh. The enemy outnumbered us four to one, and we have slain them ten to one! What more is there to say?'

'Only this!' Lord Avijan called back. 'The sons of Elahad have always been kings of Mesh. Never has their line been broken. It would wrong to break it now. What more is there to say?'

So it went for quite some time as the sun pushed down upon the snow-covered peaks to the west. Some of the warriors to the far right and left, and in the ranks farthest bank, had trouble hearing what was said. Like ripples upon the sea, in a murmur of voices, their fellow warriors passed these words back to them.

'Very well,' Lord Tanu called out at last. 'Who will speak against Lord Valashu becoming king of Mesh?'

For a moment, no one moved. It seemed that thirteen thousand warriors held their breath. Then Lord Ramjay, a grizzled veteran of many campaigns, stepped forward.

'I will!' he cried out. 'We all do know Lord Valashu's deeds. At the Battle of Red Mountain, he hesitated in slaying the enemy. And in Tria, it is said, he slew one who was not the enemy, a great lord of Alonia. He struck down an innocent man in a fit of wrath, with this cursed power of his. And so ruined our chances to make an alliance against the Red Dragon. What more is there to say?'

'Only this!' Sar Jalval shouted. He had commanded one of Lord Tomavar's companies and was nearly as strong as Karshur had been, with great, long arms and a great nose once cleft by a sword. 'Lord Valashu's recklessness in holding back the reserve almost destroyed us. It caused the deaths of his own brothers, Sar Jonathay and Sar Mandru, and many others. It nearly brought upon us our greatest defeat since the Battle of Tarshid in the Age of Law. Four thousand of us have fallen today, and how can we count that a victory? We shall be a generation replacing such losses. If indeed our sons still left to us ever grow to manhood now. What more is there to say?'

'Only this!' Lord Tomavar shouted. He turned his long, horsey face toward me, and in his tormented eyes there was great anger. 'Four thousand warriors have fallen here — and how many of our kin who took shelter in the castle? Two of my own grandsons and four granddaughters were slaughtered like pigs! My daughter, my… young wife It is said that Vareva has been carried off into foul slavery, as have others! Who standing here has also lost sons, daughters and wives today? And why? Because Lord Valashu wantonly deserted his post for the glory of battle And so the castle was taken through sorcery, and the Lightstone was stolen, and our families were slain. What more is there to say?'

It seemed, for the moment, that there was nothing more to say. No other lords or master knights came forward to testify against me. The thousands of warriors lined up before me gazed upon me with their dark eyes as a great lamentation of doubt broke through their ranks.

And then Lord Tanu said to me: 'What words will Lord Valashu speak for or against those spoken here?'

I looked down at the last of the sun's rays caught up in the brightness of the five diamonds of my ring. I looked at Lord Tanu and at Lord Tomavar, tall and grave and waiting upon my words. I looked out at the thousands of warriors of Mesh. What could I say to them? How could I dispute their interpretation of my actions when I condemned them myself? In one matter, however, they were wrong. And so I drew in a breath of air because the truth must be told.

'The castle was taken through treachery,' I said to Lord Tomavar. 'It was Lansar Raasharu who betrayed us in becoming a ghul.'

I told him what I knew of ghuls: that a man's soul could not be seized against his will but only surrendered.

'All men, when put to the fire, will break in the end,' I said. 'And so Lord Raasharu deserves our pity more than our blame. But this great man was reduced to being Morjin's eyes, hands and mouthpiece. It was Morjin's words that Lord Raasharu spoke to me, not Asaru's. Lies, they were. And so believing that my brother was king, what else was there to do but to obey his command?'

'You should have obeyed your father's command,' Lord Tomavar said. 'You were to remain and guard the castle — and with good reason it was you he chose for this chatge. For the castle was surely taken through Morjin's sorcery. The gates must have been thrown open by guards maddened by Morjin's illusions. But it is known that Valashu Elahad has gained the power to defeat such illusions. If you hadn't abandoned your post, then Morjin never would have ravaged as he did. The only treachery I see here is yours in putting glory before duty.'

My face was beginning to burn, but not from the heat of the long day's sun. I said to Lord Tomavar, 'You have suffered terrible loss today, as have many of us. Who could think clearly after the maddening things that we have seen? But I ask you to think of this: why would Lord Raasharu have left the battle if not to deceive as he did?'

Lord Tomavar summoned forward one of the master knights behind him. This was a stolid man with a square jaw and sad, dark eyes full of death. I remembered that his name was Sar Aldelad.

'Tell us,' Lord Tomavar said to him, 'what Lord Raasharu told you.'

Sar Aldelad bowed his head to him and addressed the nearby lords and knights: 'As Lord Raasharu was riding off the field, he told me that King Shamesh had sent him back to the castle to request that Lord Valashu send a company of knights to aid us.'

'Another lie!' I said. 'Lord Raasharu lied to Sar Aldelad, as he lied to me.'

'Is it indeed a lie?' Lord Tomavar said to me. 'That word falls too easily off your tongue.'

'My father would never have sent away his greatest lord in the middle of a battle!'

'He might have,' Lord Tomavar said, 'if he needed to choose someone whom you would trust absolutely. And you did trust him, didn't you? And then betrayed that trust by deciding to lead the company of knights yourself?'

'No, it was not so!' I cried out. 'I did trust Lord Raasharu, but he betrayed me, as he did everyone standing here and all of Mesh!'

Lord Tomavar shook his long head back and forth. The ribbons tied to his long hair rustled against each other. Then he gathered in all the scorn in his powerful voice as he called out 'You should be ashamed to slander such a great man who was so faithful to your father — and to you. Lord Raasharu is dead, in defense of your castle, and so he cannot defend himself against your wanton accusations.' 'All that I have told here today is true!' 'Is it? And who is left alive to confirm your story?' As it happened, neither Sar Vikan nor any of the knights in his company had heard Lansar Raasharu request my presence on the battlefield. But one man had.

'All that Lord Valashu said is true!' a great voice boomed out. Maram strode forward like a great bear and stood in front of Lord Tomavar. 'I was present at the gate with him and Lord Raasharu.'

Lord Tomavar nodded his head to him. 'Everyone knows what a faithful friend you have been to Lord Valashu. Perhaps too faithful.' 'Are you calling me a liar?' Maram bellowed out. His face flushed deep red and seemed to burn through the brown curls of his beard. His hand fell upon the hilt of his sword. He would have to be mad to draw upon lord Tomavar But it seemed that he might for the hellish furnace of war had forged him into more of a Valari knight than even he suspected,

'No, I would never call you a liar,' Lord Tomavar said. 'But in the heat of the moment, with the news of the battle, you might easily have misheard Lord Raasharu's words. And so there Is no dishonor in that.'

'I did not mishear him!' Maram called out. 'As for my own honor, I'm not concerned. But you should not stain the honor of my friend. Val has told you nothing but the truth! He's the most truthful man I know — sometimes too damn truthful! He would never lie!'

Lord Tomavar stood very still as he glared at me. With his diamond armor and face all smeared with blood, as he gathered in all his wrath, he was terrible to behold. And then, like a crack of thunder, he cried out; 'In Tria, when Lord Valashu was asked if he was the Maitreya, he affirmed that he was. Thus his honor is already stained with the shame of this lie if no other.'

After that Lord Tomavar fell quiet, and so did Maram — and everyone else assembled there. Now there was truly nothing more to say.

The sun finally disappeared behind the mountains, and a shadow fell upon the field. I felt the eyes of thirteen thousand warriors burning into me, I could not move; I did not want to breathe. I stood ensnared in a web of evil, lies and great blame.

Then Lord Tanu, true to the ancient forms, called out: 'Who will draw his sword to Lord Valashu as King?'

As with a single motion, with the ringing of steel like the rush of a cold wind, five thousand knights and warriors drew their swords to me. They held their bright kalamas pointing at me like so many rays of light. But eight thousand men did not draw their swords. And so I could not be King of Mesh.

I tried to keep my face as stern as those of the lords and master knights standing near me I slipped the great ring from my finger and for a moment held it tight inside my fist. And then I cast it down into the grass. I turned about so that no one could see the shame burning my face and the tears in my eyes. I began walking north, toward the woods that edged the Culhadosh Commons. I was only faintly aware of Altaru nickering as he followed after me and my friends and their horses as well. I moved without purpose or destination, I wanted only to keep on walking, through the Valley of the Swans and out of Mesh, until I walked right off the edge of the world.