Leather Maiden

35

When we got back into Camp Rapture, I took Belinda home. We enjoyed each other’s company, but I sensed that a little alone time for the two of us wouldn’t be a bad idea. Too much togetherness had begun to tug at us.

I went by the newspaper, which was closed, and used my key to get in and sat down at my desk and banged out a column that my mind was halfway invested in. When I was finished I e-mailed it to Timpson’s computer so that she’d have my column for next week.

When I went out to the car to go home, I thought I’d call Belinda, realized I had turned my phone off at some point and had not turned it back on. I brought it to life, and when I did, messages popped up.

One was from Jimmy.

I listened. He and Trixie were out of town, doing what he had told me he wanted to do. Mom and Dad had gone with them. They were going to be gone for several days. The message was simple and general and I assumed Trixie or Mom and Dad were nearby when he gave it.

The last message was from Booger. It just asked me to call.

I sat in the car for a moment, wondering if I should bother. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help myself. I called.

“Hey,” a voice said. I knew it wasn’t Booger. He has a unique voice. But then again, so does Runt.

“Runt?” I said.

“Hey, punkin, how you doing down there in the wilds of East Texas?”

“Mixed report,” I said. “Thought I was calling Booger’s cell.”

“You are calling Booger’s cell. Well, one of them. I have another number for him, but he’s not answering it. He left yesterday, and left this phone with me. He sold me the bar for a dollar.”

“A dollar?”

“He does that now and again, so something happens to him, he says, it’ll be in good hands. I got a contract and everything. When he comes back, we tear up the contract and he gives me the dollar back. He thinks every time he goes out for a while, it might be his last time.”

“What if you didn’t want to give the bar back?”

“I always want to give it back,” Runt said. “He’s my compadre.”

“But if you didn’t?”

“Fireworks.”

I laughed. “I don’t doubt that. Where is he?”

“When he gives me the contract and I give him the dollar, it means he could be anywhere. He’s probably running whores in Oklahoma City, or Tulsa. That would be my guess. He might even be doing a cage match. He does that shit, you know?”

“No. I didn’t know.”

“Did do it, I mean. He got disqualified last time. Booger thought they really meant no rules. He poked a guy in the eyes and twisted the guy’s nut sack and bit off part of the fellow’s cheek. I think he got banned for life from cage matches, or some such shit. He said they had put him up in a hotel and given him a fruit basket, but after that little incident they locked him out of his room. He kicked the door down and got his clothes and the fruit basket. He’s nuts about oranges. I think he owes some kind of fine, which, of course, he’s unlikely to pay.”

“Booger is a man of mystery, for damn sure.”

“In your case, might be best you didn’t find out some of that mystery.”

“Well enough. You say you got another number for him?”

Runt gave me the number and I wrote it down.

“He misses you, boy,” Runt said. “For him, you’re the man.”

“I’ll buy him some flowers next time I see him, take him on a date.”

“You know what he really likes?”

“What would that be? Slow walks in the rain, puppy dogs and kitties?”

“Malted eggs. He likes oranges, but malted eggs, that’s his thing.”

“Malted eggs?”

“Like they sell for Easter. He’s like a nut for that stuff. One Easter weekend he put on five pounds eating that shit.”

“And I thought I knew a lot about Booger.”

“Nobody knows a lot about Booger,” Runt said.

I drove on home. I sat in the car out front of my place and flipped open my phone and dialed the number Runt had given me for Booger, let it ring as I got out of the car and went to the door. I had no sooner put the key in the door and turned the lock than I heard a phone ringing inside my house.

It was ringing in conjunction with the number I dialed, same timing.

I listened to it ring another time or two, went back to my car and got the .38 out of the glove box and went back to the door. I turned off my phone. The ringing stopped.

I pushed the door open and eased around the motorcycle there.

Sitting on my couch in his underwear with the open phone lying on his knee, a beer in one hand, a .45 in the other, grinning like he had just found a fifty-dollar gold piece, sporting a chest tattoo that said TIGHT NOOKIE IS PROOF OF GOD, was Booger.

“I was hoping you were a burglar,” Booger said. “That would have given me a reason to blow your head off.”

“What in hell are you doing here?”

“Well, howdy to you too,” Booger said.

“Again. What in hell are you doing here?” I said.

“Drinking a beer. Right before you came in I was scratching my nuts, and about an hour ago I was watching a cooking show with some hot lady on it cooking Italian food. I’d like to bend her over her pasta, I’m telling you right now. She had legs just like I like ’em. Feet on one end, poontang on the other. Come to think of it, I don’t even give a shit if she has feet. Let’s see, what else. I think before the cooking show I took a dump. By the way, your toilet has a slow flush. I think they got some Chinaman on the other side of the world using a hand pump.”

“What are you doing here, Booger? Why did you pick my lock? And why in hell did you get that tattoo?”

“I couldn’t get in. It was locked. So I had to pick it. It was easy, by the way. You ought to get some other kind of lock, something a little more serious than government work. The tat. I got that as a homage to what matters in life…Hey, how you doing, buddy?”

“Right now, I’m a little busy.”

Booger looked hurt. “Man, you don’t sound glad to see me.”

Actually, in spite of myself, I was very glad to see him. “It’s not that, Booger. I’ve been a little busy with something. How you doing, man? Glad to see you. How did you get here?”

“After a misunderstanding in Oklahoma, I drove here, and since I had my car’s papers with me, I sold it to a gentleman down on a lot on the outskirts of town, and then I took a taxi to the store where I bought some provisions, and then I took the taxi here. Want a beer?”

“It’s my house. I should be offering you something.”

“Hey,” he said, and held up the beer, “said I got provisions. Help yourself.”

“I’m just going to have bottled coffee.”

“Who the hell bottles coffee, Cason?”

“Starbucks.”

“That’s sissy shit. Whoever heard of drinking cold coffee out of a fucking bottle?”

“It’s happening everywhere,” I said, making my way to the fridge. “You should get out more. They even have soft drinks in cans now.”

I opened the refrigerator. It was stocked thick with beer, two or three different kinds. I found the bottled coffee behind some tall green bottles and got one and went back to the living room, or that part of my apartment that passed for one, sat down in a chair and looked at Booger. My eyes had adjusted to the darkened room. He had a cut on his forehead and some bruises on his face.

“What happened to you?” I said. “You get caught up in machinery?”

“I got caught up in four guys in Tulsa,” he said. “They wanted me to pay for some skank they managed who didn’t know how to give a blow job. Way she worked, you’d have thought she was sucking a rock through a straw. Didn’t do a man any good at all. I didn’t want to pay. These gentlemen, her pimp and some bouncers, had different ideas.”

“How did that work out?”

“I got cut across the head with a knife, and I got hit a lot because all of them, except the one with the knife, had blackjacks. But what I can report is that three of them are a little broken up, and one of them can now put his leg over his head with no real effort. He might even be able to remove it and swing it around. And I suppose, right now, a whore who can’t blow a dick is looking for a new pimp to walk her around. And I have a new knife.”

“How bad did you hurt the pimp?”

“He’s not hurting now. So, after that, I needed a place to go and have a little R&R. But don’t worry, they don’t know who I am. I gave them Runt’s name when I signed on there for business.”

I smiled. “No you didn’t.”

“Of course not. I gave them yours.”

“You are funny.”

“Let’s just say if they’re looking for someone, his name is Delbert Littleball. I had it on one of my false licenses, so it’s the one I showed them. These days, just to get your ashes carried, you got to have identification so they don’t think some Arab has flown all the way over here to blow up some random whore with a bomb in a rubber.”

“How long you been here?”

“Not real long. I got here it was raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock, so I let myself in. I slept a bit on the couch. By the way, I also played on your computer. Looked at porn, just the free stuff, and I found where you had a big old fat file on a chick named Caroline who was so good-looking I thought my left nut was going to go in orbit around my johnson.”

“You looked at my personal stuff?”

“Hey, it wasn’t coded or anything. All I had to do was turn it on and it came up on the menu, along with other stuff. I looked at everything there. Say, you get back with that Gabby girl?”

“No.”

“Good. You don’t need her. By the way, all those notes you got on Caroline, this business you got going, it’s interesting.”

“It is at that.”

“Reporting is more fun than I thought. I thought you just mostly typed up shit, but you get into some action, don’t you?”

“Booger, you ought not to have been in my business like that.”

“I was bored, and after a while all the porno starts to look alike. I can’t tell who’s got the dick and who’s got the tits. So, I got to playing. You got lots of notes, bro. I read them all. Those kids got killed, I read your article on that, all your articles in fact. I liked most of them. I even read about the town on the Internet. This little place is hopping. All that racial shit going on. Best way to keep yourself sane on matters like that is to hate everyone straight across the board, except your bros of course. Way I see it, humanity is like a hungry, parasitic dog without a home, crossing the highway, back and forth. Sooner or later to be hit by a car.”

“What about your sisters?”

“Women I know aren’t my sisters and I wouldn’t trust them to hold five dollars for me while I went to the toilet. I’ll tell you something, though: all this stuff going down, black preacher and white preacher, could be some action in the old town that night. Or is it midday?”

“Midday. Look, Booger—”

“Hey, man. Almost forgot something. In all that rain, a mailman showed up. Can you believe that? Rain and sleet and all that shit, and this guy meant it. Actually, though, he wasn’t a government employee. He was FedEx or UPS or one of those things. Another kind of mailman. He had a package for you.”

“A package?”

“What are you, a fucking parrot? Yeah, a package.”

“I wasn’t expecting anything.”

“It’s on the kitchen counter.”

I went into the kitchen and got it. The handwriting on the front didn’t look like any handwriting I had seen before. There was an address on the front, one that indicated who had mailed the package to me. I recognized it immediately. It was Jimmy’s address.

I got out my pocketknife and slit the package open and eased out the contents. There was a letter and a photograph. I looked at the photograph and caught my breath.

“What is it, bro?” Booger said.

I turned back toward the living room and sat down in my chair again and looked at the photograph some more. It was of three women. I recognized one of them right off. It was Tabitha. She wasn’t looking so good. She was stretched out on a board like those photos of Old West villains shot and displayed for the crowd and she didn’t appear to have any insides, just a skull and a skin hanging off of that. Next to her, on another slab, was another woman. The face was withered and the eyes were gone and her body was in the same condition. Next to her was another withered body with long blond hair, and her lower body was partially covered by a blanket, or some kind of cloth. The only one I really recognized was Tabitha, and that was because she was the freshest. Above each of the women was a little cardboard sign. The signs read, left to right: TABITHA. RONNIE. CAROLINE.

At the foot of the photograph there was a longer cardboard sign that read BETRAYERS.

Booger said, “What, man?”

When I didn’t answer, he came over and stood by my chair and looked down at what I was looking at. I put the photograph on the coffee table and Booger picked it up and looked at it while I opened the letter to read.

SO, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT GIVES? HERE’S WHAT GIVES. GO TO THESE ADDRESSES AND TAKE A LOOK. YOU’LL FIND WHAT YOU NEED TO FIND. ONE AND TWO. THREE SORT OF CAME APART AND IS NO MORE. THEY BETRAYED THE CAUSE AND THEY PAID. WHITE POWER WEARS MANY HATS. ADDRESS ONE, NOTICE THE PATH. ADDRESS TWO, SEEK THE TOWER. COME AFTER SIX TODAY. NO POLICE. POLICE COME, BAD THINGS COULD HAPPEN.

The addresses were listed, two of them. I knew generally where one of them was, and I had a town map in my car to find the other. What made me nervous was the package was supposed to have come from Jimmy’s address. Probably mailed from a UPS store. They wanted me to know they knew all about him and where he lived. I was glad he was out of town. I looked at the date on the envelope. Today. I looked at my watch. Nearly six.

Booger said, “You know what? This photo ain’t right.”

I was up and moving. “No, it isn’t. I’m going to check something.”

I called Jimmy on my cell. It seemed like an hour before he answered, but he picked up on the third ring.

“Cason,” he said. “What’s going on?”

“Not much. You’re out of town, right?”

“Oh yeah. Didn’t you get my message?”

“Double-checking.”

“We’re out at the lake. Outside watching the sun start to dip. Trixie is lying in a lawn chair, looking good in a two-piece, reading a book, and I’m sitting here drinking a big old Pepsi-Cola and can’t wait till bedtime so I can show Trixie all my manly tricks. Mom and Dad are in the house. Mom brought today’s newspaper. Dad is reading a book.”

“Don’t say any more, and don’t answer any calls that don’t come from my number, and then be sure it’s me before you start talking too much.”

Jimmy was silent for a while. I got the idea he was moving to another location, away from Trixie. “Something coming down?”

“I don’t think it’s anything, really.”

“You’re lying to me, Cason. I’m the good liar, not you.”

“It’s anything, you’ll be the first to know.”

“I don’t believe that either. You may not be safe. You ought to join us here.”

“I got a friend with me.”

“A woman?”

“An old war buddy. Nobody you know. I’m safe.”

“I don’t know what to say, Cason, except I don’t want to come back there. I may never want to come back there.”

“I don’t want you to. At least not now. I’ll keep you informed. Just wanted to check in.”

“I feel like such a chickenshit.”

“You’re fine. Just stay there.”

Jimmy had a few more things to say, but I was hardly listening. I hung up the phone and went to the closet and got the holster that went with the .38 and strapped it on my belt and put the .38 in it and pulled my shirt out and over it.

“Hey, man,” Booger said, “hold your goddamn water till I get my pants on. Me and Mr. Lucky are going with you.”

Mr. Lucky was Booger’s .45. It was one of his small circle of friends.