arvis was out of sorts. The tour cruise wasn’t working out—at least not the way he had hoped, and now it had been diverted to this lost island with a dead volcano. There was a hurricane threatening, and all ships in the region had to seek convenient ports until the weather blew over, as it were.

There was nothing to do here that interested him, not even a house of ill repute. The island was small, dominated by the single cone of the volcano, whose idea of activity was a faint wisp of steam. Great show! He stood at the lookout facing it, and his mind drifted.

What do you want?

It seemed to be a voice in his head, maybe the unused half of his brain.

“I’ll tell you what I want,” Jarvis said. “I want a pretty girlfriend. The women on this cruise are either older or already attached.”

What kind of girl?

Somehow, it did not seem odd to be talking with an unseen voice. It really seemed to be interested.

“A shapely one, doing a hula dance, her hair flinging out as she spins. What’s in her head doesn’t matter, so long as she likes me and me alone.”

Visualize her.

Jarvis shut his eyes and pictured the sexiest hula girl imaginable, her hips gyrating, her breasts bouncing. She caught his eye and smiled.

Then he opened his eyes. There she was, dark skinned, with flaring red hair, and nude.

He did a double take. “I didn’t see you coming. Who are you?”

She paused in place. “I am Lava. I will be your girl if you do what I need.”

This was more than interesting. “What do you need?”

“Token worship.”

“Token? You mean like money?”

“No. Like pretty shells. Nice words. Respect.”

“You want mere tokens? Just what exactly are you offering?”

“Everything you were thinking of.”

“You read my mind?”

“Yes. I am reading it now.”

That set him back momentarily, but she was so pretty he plowed on. “Including the holding, kissing, and, um, intimacy?”

“Yes. I will do these things with you.”

Jarvis briefly pondered this, looking his—rather seductive—gift horse in the mouth. “You don’t have some loathsome disease?”

“I have no disease.”

“Then bring it on!” He stepped toward her.

“No, please, wait,” she said, raising her nice little hands. “Do not touch me yet. I will burn you.”

“Burn me? Just how hot a doll are you?”

“Very hot. Please, come to me again tomorrow, and I will be cool enough, I promise. And bring an offering.”

“A token,” he said. So, there was a catch: she did not want to be touched.

“Please, I do want to be touched. Just not today.”

Jarvis sighed. Too good to be true and all that. Ah well, not like he had anything better to do. “Tomorrow morning.”

“Yes. I will be ready, I think.”

“I will see you then.” He turned and walked back down the path. Before he turned a corner, he glanced back. Sure enough, she was gone.

Back at the village, he approached the hotel manager. “I walked up to view the volcano. I saw something there. A woman.”

The man nodded. “That’s Lava. She’s always lurking. That’s why no one goes there.”

“Lava. Who is she? A villager?”

The man laughed. “No villager. In fact, she doesn’t exist.”

“But I saw her!”

“She’s a ghost. The ghost of the dead volcano. Really spooky.”

“A ghost? She certainly looked real.”

“I mean, she doesn’t exist as a person. The legend has it that when the volcano was active, she was its serving girl, accepting the offerings of worshipers. But it’s been defunct for half a century, so there’re hardly any tourists anymore. She’s like… retired. Ignore her and she won’t bother you. Theoretically speaking.”

“This was a tourist attraction?”

“Long ago. Now, we’re in the crapper. It’d be nice if the volcano got active again. That’d bring ‘em in, put us back on the map.” The hotel manager sighed. “But that’s fool’s hope.”

“I appreciate the problem.”

But Jarvis did not forget or dismiss Lava. She was a ghost? No wonder she couldn’t be touched. Yet, she had promised to be ready. He would call her bluff.

He checked around the distinguished hotel lobby and found a forgotten plastic cufflink behind a chair. He picked it up and pocketed it. Would it do as a token?

Early the next morning, he returned to the lookout, ready for whatever was offered, even if only disappointment.

There she was, as lovely as ever.

“Lava!”

“Jarvis!”

“I brought a token.” He extended the cufflink. “My offering.”

“Oh, thank you,” she exclaimed joyously. “It’s wonderful.” She put it in her mouth for safekeeping, as she wore no clothing.

They came together. They might have even covered the distance at a run. She was solid! He embraced her, and she was warm. Quite warm.

“They told me you’re a ghost,” he said.

“I am.” She tongued the cufflink behind her cheek like a piece of hard candy. “A spirit. The spirit of the volcano.”

“But you certainly feel solid to me. Am I imagining it?”

“I am solid. But I am not alive. I am made of lava.”

“Lava!”

“Yes, it is my substance, shaped to your desire.”

Dare he question this? It did make a certain surrealistic sense. Volcano stuff. He did not want her to dissipate like smoke.

“I will not dissipate,” she assured him. “I love your attention. You are the first who really wanted to be with me.”

If this was a dream, he was determined to play it for what it was worth. “May I kiss you, Lava?”

“Be very careful. I have cooled overnight, but maybe not enough.”

Because he knew lava to be blazing hot, at least when fresh, Jarvis kissed her very lightly on the lips. They were almost burning, but very pleasant. He had to draw back. “You’re right. You are hot.”

“It takes time to cool, and if I cool too much, I will become stone. I must maintain a balance.”

“Oh, Lava, I’d like to–”

“Please, not today. My core would burn you.”

“I guess it would. So, you can’t be a complete girlfriend.”

“I can be!” she said almost desperately. “When I cool my core sufficiently, so that I remain hot enough to function, but cool enough where you need me to be.”

Was he crazy to take her seriously? Maybe she wasn’t real, but she was everything he longed for in a woman: lovely and eager to be with him. “Let’s sit down and talk.”

They sat on the stone bench, side by side, holding hands. Her hand was warm, too, but cooler than her torso.

“Lava, are you telling me you could be a complete girlfriend if I just bring little offerings?”

“Yes.”

That seemed too simple. Where was the catch?

“I can’t depart the island. I must stay within sight of the volcano, for I am its creature. I can be anything you want me to be, but it must be here. You would have to stay here on the island.”

And if he did, how far could this be taken? He really had no life in the outside world. Could he marry her, have children by her? She seemed so real and responsive.

“I can do these things,” she said. “But the baby would not be alive in your manner. It would be made of lava, like me, and hot in the core. You might not like that.”

“Maybe not,” he said. “Maybe we could adopt a foundling child. Could you take care of a baby?”

She read the meaning in his mind. “Yes, with your guidance. But I could not nurse it.”

“Most mothers bottle feed now, anyway.”

“I could do that.”

“Then I think I could stay here,” he decided. “Now, let’s see what we can do to attract tourists and garner worshipers. Though how to do that for a dead volcano, I don’t know.”

“The volcano is not dead. I am evidence that it lives, in its fashion. It is merely resting.”

“Quiescent,” Jarvis said. “It would help if it could become active again. That would bring tourists. Could you arrange that?”

“No. I am of the volcano, but I do not govern it. It sleeps and wakes on its own schedule.”

“Too bad. I think it needs to wake if it wants worshipers.”

“It might wake if worshipers came.”

Catch 22. “Isn’t it angry about being deserted, just because it’s sleeping?”

“I am angry about that, but I am not the volcano. I am only a bit of lava, just a flicker of a dream in its sleep. It will not wake.”

“Damn. We need more.” Jarvis thought about it. “What about you? Would you be willing to become a tourist attraction? The spirit of the volcano?”

“If you wish it, I will do it.”

“Let’s go to the village and talk to them. Can you go there with me?”

“Yes, I can go anywhere on the island, but not beyond, lest I lose my animation. But the villagers do not like me.”

“Maybe they will now. Let’s go see.” He paused. “But for this, I think you’ll need to wear something. A blouse, a skirt. Your body is beautiful, but folks have hang-ups.”

“Whatever you wish.”

“Here, maybe my shirt is long enough.” He took off his shirt and put it on her. The hem of it just about covered her bottom. “Oh, that’s sexy as hell as you move. But we can get you a dress on the ship.”

They passed through the village and found a shed for her to hide in. Then he went aboard the ship and managed to requisition a dress along with bra, panties, sandals, and a kerchief. He brought those to Lava, and she put them on. Now, she looked like an attractive tourist.

“Damn!” he said, gazing at her. “I wish we could—”

“My core remains too hot. I’m sorry. But tomorrow it should be cool enough.”

“Tomorrow,” he said, kissing her.

They went to the hotel manager, who pretty much ran the village. “What can I do for you, folks?”

“I’m Jarvis, from the tour ship. We spoke yesterday. This is Lava.”

The man gawped. “The ghost?”

“The spirit of the volcano,” Lava said, taking his hand to demonstrate her solidity. “I am as Jarvis sees me.”

“He’s got a good eye.”

“I am wondering whether Lava could become a tourist attraction and bring more business here,” Jarvis said. “She could do a hula dance.”

“Forget it. We’ve had dancers before. They entertain the guests, but they don’t attract tourists from far away. Anyway, it’s academic; things are about to change here.”

“Change?” Jarvis asked.

“A big banana company is about to buy this island. They’ll bulldoze the old cone and level it for a banana plantation. That’ll bring work for everyone here. Old lava makes good soil.”

“Bulldoze the cone! That’s degrading!”

“I do not understand,” Lava said.

“Read my mind.” Jarvis pictured a fleet of bulldozers slowly flattening the volcano’s cone.

She slipped to the floor in a dead swoon.

Jarvis tried to help her, but now, she was dead weight made of stone, too heavy to move—though still exceptionally human looking and pretty. They had to leave her there.

“Sorry about that,” the hotel manager said. “I guess that will be the end of her, too. I doubt she’ll be around without the volcano. Too bad. She’s really pretty, even as a statue.”

“Not if I can help it,” Jarvis said. “We’ve got to stop this outrage.”

“Look, we’re going broke here from lack of tourists. I’d love to have an active volcano to attract the tours. Let’s face it, that cone is dead or dying, and we have to make do without it. That banana plantation will do the job.”

Jarvis tuned him out. “Lava! Lava! I think I love you, no matter what you are. Listen to me.” He stroked her warming face with his fingers.

Her eyelids flickered. Her lips moved. “What you thought—it’s horrible! Butchering the volcano!”

“Listen to me,” Jarvis repeated. “I’ve got an idea. You connect to the volcano. Tell it about this. About the bulldozers coming.”

“It won’t like that,” she said, reanimating further. “It—it might be angry.”

“Tell it! Relay my thought. Tell it what’s coming.”

“I think I love you, too, Jarvis. I’d do anything for you. But this—if the volcano vents its fury—could kill you.”

“I’ll take that chance. Tell it!”

“You think that will stop the plantation?” the hotel manager asked. “Volcanoes don’t come to life for no reason.”

“Tell it,” Jarvis said once more.

She animated further and managed to sit up. “Then kiss me. Before I tell it. Before it’s too late.”

He got down on his knees and kissed her. There was a quality of desperation for them both. If this worked, it would banish the bananas, but maybe more than that. How much more? Only the future would tell, and it was one they couldn’t risk not exploring.

Lava closed her eyes, communicating.

There was a rumble.

“Uh-oh,” the manager said. “That’s an earthquake. We have to get out of the building!”

They got out fast. There was another rumble, stronger. The hotel started to collapse.

The three of them ran through the village as the third shake came. The villagers were screaming and fleeing their houses.

In moments, everyone gathered on the beach, as there was nowhere farther to flee. They stood and gazed back at the volcano. Now, smoke was rising from it. It was returning to its active state.

“Tell it that’s enough,” Jarvis yelled in Lava’s ear. “The dozers won’t come now.”

She concentrated. The quakes halted. The smoke dissipated. The threatening eruption stalled.

Jarvis faced the villagers. “The volcano is becoming active. We need to pacify it, so it won’t blow up the whole island. We need to resume worshiping it, or at least, giving it its due offerings each day. That’s the way it used to be.”

The villagers nodded. They knew about pacifying volcanoes. Their ancestors had done it for centuries.

“And the tourists will come,” the manager said, catching on. “Gobs of them. To see the show. Damn, I need to call the insurance folks. We need to get the hotel back up and bustling!”

“They’ll come,” Jarvis agreed. “With offerings. There’ll be a show of smoke and ash, maybe some flowing lava, but not a bad eruption. And everyone will talk about this volcano.”

“You knew,” Lava said, reading his mind, “that anger at the bulldozers would rouse it.”

“I hoped.” Then he kissed her. They had a good life forming.


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