Keeper of the Heart

Chapter 1

Shanelle Ly-San-Ter hit the cushioned exercise mat flat on her back, temporarily losing her breath. Score one for Corth. She’d told him not to go easy on her, and the android had taken her at her word.

“Why do you let it do that to you?” she heard from behind her.

Shanelle got her breath back and it came out in a near growl. She really resented that remark from Jadd Ce Moerr, one of her fellow graduates from World Discovery, where she had just spent the past nine months. When she had impulsively invited some of her new friends to come home with her for the three-month vacation they had earned before starting their life-careers, she hadn’t counted on any of the male cadets taking her up on the offer.

Like most of the graduates from her class, with the exception of herself, Jadd was only eighteen years old. He was also short by her standards, no taller than a Darash male of the servant class on her home planet of Sha-Ka’an. But his relatively diminutive stature, coupled with his age, made him look like the boy he was. When her brother, Dalden, had turned eighteen, no one had doubted that he was a man fully grown. But she supposed Jadd’s sandy-brown hair, gray eyes, and usually eager expression, along with his occasional tactless remarks like the one he’d just made, kept her from seeing him as anything but a boy.

She sat up now, tossing her long golden braid over her shoulder as she swung around and pinned the Kystrani male with narrowed amber eyes. “Corth isn’t an it, Mr. Ce Moerr-he’s just like family to me.”

It wasn’t hard to tell he’d gotten her angry. Those large, almond-shaped eyes could be disconcerting when they narrowed like that. And Shanelle Ly-San-Ter was not a small woman. She was, in fact, almost as tall as he was, and Jadd was above-average Kystrani height at five feet ten. Of course, she was only half Kystrani herself on her mother’s side. The other half was pure Sha-Ka’ani, and everyone knew that the Sha-Ka’ani were of the warrior caste.

But the last thing Jadd had wanted to do was to get her annoyed with him, for the simple reason that he’d been trying to get her to file double occupancy with him ever since they had graduated. He would have tried it before they had graduated, but students were disallowed sex-sharing before then. And it had driven him crazy, being in the same class with Shanelle but not able to touch her. It was still driving him crazy, because she had flatly refused to share sex with him, let alone file for something more permanent. But he couldn’t give up. She was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

He tried placating her now, not really sure what she was angry about, since the concept of “family” was alien to him. Just having a mother and father as she did was alien to him, though he had learned about such things in the portion of his studies that dealt with what might be found on other planets. On Kystran, children were born in artificial wombs and raised in Centers. On Sha-Ka’an, they were barbarically born by females.

“Come on, Shanelle, your android is just a machine. Even I learned families are made up of live persons,” Jadd said.

“That’s true, which is why I said ‘just like.’ But just like is pretty damn close as far as I’m concerned. And Corth not only looks lifelike, but my mother’s Mock II computer has had years to tamper with his programming, so he’s now almost as free-thinking as she is. Besides that, he has been my companion-protector since the day I was born, so he might not take offense at being called an ‘it,’ but you better believe I do.”

Protector was a rather archaic word, but companion wasn’t, and you only had to look at the handsome exterior of the android to know what he had been created for-a woman’s entertainment. Real men had a hard time competing with something mat perfect in looks and ability, and most men resented the entertainment models. This one was black-haired and green-eyed, and an unheard-of six feet four inches in height. The tallest any Kystrani male ever got was six feet max, and those men were all slotted for careers in Security. Jadd could have just made the height requirement for Security himself, but he didn’t have what it took to bash people to bits, as those in Security were sometimes required to do. He had the feeling, though, that Shanelle had what it took. Her mother certainly did. Her mother, Tedra De Arr, had been a Sec 1, one of the top Sec Is on the whole planet of Kystran. She had also become a national heroine some twenty years ago when she had brought an army of barbarian warriors to liberate Kystran from the mad dictator who had taken control of the planet. One of those barbarians was Shanelle’s father.

Jadd felt he understood now why Shanelle had been turning him down repeatedly. She had a machine whose main function was to give pleasure to its owner. How was he supposed to compete with perfection?

He looked at the android with impotent fury, though his words were addressed to Shanelle. “You should have said he was your companion. Caris said your mother owned him, so I assumed you wouldn’t be sharing sex with him, but-”

Shanelle’s soft laughter cut him off. It was melodious and infectious, the kind of laugh that forced a smile even from strangers who merely heard it in passing. It had the ability to take the edge off his own jealous anger, particularly since it was genuine humor he was hearing, not anything ridiculing or sarcastic.

“I’m sorry, Jadd,” she said after a moment, “but if you knew my father, you wouldn’t have jumped to such a conclusion. Tell him, Corth.”

Without expression, the android replied, “The Challen Ly-San-Ter would not allow me near his daughter until the Martha agreed to reprogram my abilities. I am no longer capable of sex-sharing.”

“Oh, that’s real tough, Corth.” Jadd grinned with immense relief.

“I wouldn’t gloat if I were you, Jadd,” Shanelle came back with a grin of her own. “There was another thing my father insisted on when he allowed Corth to be my protector. Corth can’t share sex with me, but neither can anyone else until I’m given to my lifemate. If you don’t believe me, just try touching me when Corth is around, and you’ll find out what it’s like to be stomped into the ground.”

“But that’s-that’s-it can’t be!” Jadd exclaimed. “It’s against the laws of the Centura League for an android to be programmed to hurt people. They’re too strong, ten times stronger than any man could be. If they attacked someone, they’d end up killing him!”

“That’s true, and Corth draws the line at killing, merely doing a lot of hurting instead. And that is what my father had in mind when he insisted on that particular programming.”

“But the law-”

“Doesn’t apply to Sha-Ka’an, Jadd. We aren’t part of the Centura League, and my father is shodan of Sha-Ka-Ra, a law unto himself. Besides, what Corth would do to any man who touched me is mild compared to what my father or brother would do if they heard about it.” Then she made a face. “Unless, of course, they approved of the man. Then I might be given to him for a lifemate.”

Jadd didn’t sympathize, no matter how barbaric he found the concept. It was one of the things Caris, their mutual friend, had told him that Shanelle had mentioned to her. Shanelle’s father must approve of the man she would be given to, or he would choose the man himself, whether she agreed or not.

The final decision would be her father’s. She could bring forth candidates, but only for his approval. It was for that reason that Jadd had gone on this jaunt to the Niva Star System and the barbaric planet of Sha-Ka’an. He’d already struck out trying to get Shanelle to accept him. He now intended to ask her father for her. With her father’s permission, she would be his, and she wouldn’t have anything to say about it. She would be his…

“You’re as easy to read as computer basics, Mr. Ce Moerr.” A female voice dripping with disgust came through the intercom on the wall behind them. “You don’t really think her father will give her to you just because you ask him, do you? His own warriors have been asking for her for years with no luck. What makes you mink he will favor a puny Kystrani still wet behind the ears?”

Mortified, Jadd flushed with color. Before he had come aboard Shanelle’s Transport Rover, he hadn’t known it was possible to hate a computer. In the past two weeks, he’d found out it was indeed possible.

“I will see you for dinner, Shanelle,” Jadd said stiffly and stalked out of the exercise room.

Shanelle watched him go, then glanced at the intercom on the wall. “That wasn’t very nice, Martha.”

“I’m not programmed to be nice, kiddo. How many times do you have to tell that boy no before he takes the hint? Your mother wouldn’t have put up with that kind of irritating persistence, so why should you?”

Shanelle sighed. “I’m not my mother.”

“No, you’re not. You’re too damn softhearted. Not that Tedra couldn ‘t be softhearted on occasion- she just never let anyone know it like you do.”

“Martha, I’m in no mood for another lecture on my deficiencies. When are you going to stop trying to turn me into another Tedra De Arr?”

“When are you going to realize that that’s something I wouldn’t do even if I could? Besides, it isn’t necessary. You’re already more like her than you know. You just take a little longer to assert your wishes, but you do get around to asserting them.”

Shanelle chuckled as she came up off the mat with easy grace. “Sure I do. That’s why that obnoxious little boy is on his way to Sha-Ka’an with the rest of us.”

“You just aren’t fed up enough with him, because you know he won’t try to take what he wants like a warrior would. Second, you knew as well as I did that the boy intends to ask your father for you, and you’ve decided to let Challen give him the facts of Sha-Ka’ani life. He would never give you to a man who couldn’t protect you as well as he could. Third and more to the point, you’re tickled pink that one of your worries has been permanently put to rest, a ridiculous worry, but no less real for that, that men other than warriors wouldn’t find you attractive. The kid’s determination reinforces the fact that you were worried for no good reason, which is why you don’t really object to having him around.”

Those facts had Shanelle glaring at the intercom, because they were facts. “Martha, when in the farden hell are you going to stop reading minds?”

“I don’t have to read minds, kiddo,” Martha replied smugly. “Motives, on the other hand, I tend to read even before you’re aware of them.”

With less anger but with a good deal of dread, Shanelle asked, “Then you know what I intend to do?”

“Am I the absolute best example of modern technology in this day and age, or what?” Martha asked in one of her more superior-than-thou voices.

Shanelle moved over and plopped down in an adjustichair, barely noticing the movement under her as it accommodated her slumped position. Corth came up behind her and gently began to massage the tenseness from her neck muscles. It didn’t ease the disappointment she felt.

“I don’t suppose for once you might consider not interfering and keep this our little secret?” Shanelle asked with little hope of getting an affirmative answer.

A perfect simulation of chuckling came out of the intercom. “I won’t have to say a word. Your mother isn’t dumb. But don’t look so miserable. She wants what you want. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”

“Not this time she won’t.”

“Wanna bet? You’re her baby, Shani, her creation. She never knew what that would mean until she had you, and the feelings that released in her knocked her on her ass. She may love your father to the depth of her soul, but she wouldn’t think twice about opposing him for you or your brother. It’s called motherhood, and it took my Tedra by storm.”

“This is different.”

“How do you figure? Who was it who browbeat your father for six long months to get his permission for you to go to Kystran for some hands-on flight instruction? Who was it who fought with him, argued him down, and even challenged him and ended up having to obey his every little request for a whole month? She’d stopped challenging him years ago because she knew she couldn’t beat him, but she still gave it another shot for you. And if you think she didn’t know that that excuse you gave her for wanting to fly was a bunch of crap, then think again.”

Shanelle squirmed in her chair, feeling a dose of guilt for not having been completely honest with her mother. “That was a legitimate excuse,” she said defensively.

“Maybe five years ago it would have been,” Martha replied with a snort. “But you know, and I know, and she knows that you no longer just want to fly the airobuses to the outer districts to bring the warriors in for trading. That used to be the reason you wanted to learn how to pilot, but it’s not your reason now. Do you think your mother isn’t aware that I could have taught you how to pilot the airobuses, just as I taught you all the basics? You wanted to go to Kystran to learn how to pilot deep-space ships.”

“But does she know the real reason?”

“She’s got eyes, doesn’t she? She’s seen how you shy away from Challen’s warriors, giving none of them the least bit of encouragement. She sees how their attraction to you upsets you. And she’s seen how you close yourself up in your room whenever it’s common knowledge that one of the women has been punished by her warrior, in that particular way a warrior will punish his own woman. She’s also seen how you won’t talk to your father for weeks on the rare occasions that he punishes her in that way.”

Shanelle shot out of her chair in total agitation. “That way” for a warrior was to drive his woman absolutely wild with sexual desire. The punishment was in leaving her like that, without any hope of attaining relief. And it could go on for hours, depending on the seriousness of the woman’s offense.

Only a lifemate or lover doled out that kind of barbaric “discipline,” so Shanelle had never experienced it firsthand herself. But she had heard enough stories when women gathered to talk, about how humiliating it was, how they begged and cried, all to no effect. One of her greatest fears was that she would have to suffer the same someday but wouldn’t be able to endure it. She was acquainted with too many other cultures, knew for a fact how barbaric that Sha-Ka’ani custom was, and knew that no matter how much she might love her lifemate, she would come to resent him because of it. She wasn’t like her mother, who got even with her father for punishing her that way. Her mother…

“How can he do that to her-to her!” she cried vehemently. “Sometimes I hate him!”

“No, you don’t.” Martha chuckled. “You love him to pieces, just like he loves you. You just can’t accept that part of Sha-Ka’ani life any more than your mother ever did.”

“Then why does she accept it?” Shanelle wanted to know, and in a small, bewildered voice added, “He makes her scream, Martha.”

“Not in pain, kiddo, merely in frustration. But haven’t you ever noticed that that big father of yours is easily bruised? He doesn’t come out of one of those punishment sessions unscathed anymore, at least not when Tedra isn’t restricted from retaliating by a challenge loss.”

A challenge loss was a period of time that the loser of a fight owed the winner in service. This was usually manual labor, or a specific task. But for her mother, it was and always had been complete obedience in the bedchamber.

“They treat a challenge loss like a joke these days,” Shanelle scoffed.

“Don’t you believe it. They may kid around about it, but your mother takes all challenges seriously, because of that silly thing she terms honor. But she’s smart enough not to be governed by challenge loss when she gets the urge to break some of the rules. And you don’t see her staying mad at Challen for long afterwards, do you?”

“But she’s a Sec 1. She knows how to give as good as she gets. I don’t.”

“But that hasn’t stopped you from trying,” Martha said with some more of her rendition of chuckling. “Corth tells me you spent nearly as much time in Security exercise classes as you did in your pilot classes.”

It was true. As soon as she learned that there were ways to throw and take down large, usually immovable objects, she had insisted on finding out how it was done. It was all in the motion, in the propulsion, and in taking the object by surprise. It was a sport the Kystrani called downing, and it was very strenuous, but very effective. Only there hadn’t been time to master the techniques. She would have stayed longer in Kystran to do so if her family wasn’t expecting her home, and knew to the day when she should arrive.

“Fat lot of good it will do me against warriors,” she grumbled now, only to hear more chuckling, which was really starting to get on her nerves.

“How many times has she tossed you on your butt this morning, Corth?” Martha asked him in a purring tone.

“Three, but I am not counting.”

Even Shanelle couldn’t help grinning at his answer. Martha had given the android a sense of humor a number of years ago, and it came out at the most inappropriate times.

“That doesn’t count, Martha, and you know it. He isn’t allowed to use his strength on me, so he’s nothing like a warrior would be.”

“You’ve got me there,” Martha admitted. “That happens to be why your mother refused to teach you her own style of fighting. Because she felt it wouldn’t do you any good. But that didn’t stop you from learning on your own, now, did it?”

“No.”

“And that didn’t stop her from seeing that you were taught another style of fighting.”

Shanelle made a face and dropped back in her chair. “Which won’t be worth a damn against a lifemate, now, will it, who I wouldn’t dare to hurt seriously? I can just see him now, laughing his head off, before he punishes me for years.”

“Well, Tedra didn’t know how you were going to end up feeling about warriors when she got it into her head that you should learn a warrior’s skills. She wanted you to have the means to protect yourself, particularly after you got carted off in that raid when you were only ten. Your father took that in stride, since raiding is a fact of Sha-Ka’ani life and he knew he could buy you back. But your mother nearly went crazy before it was over.”

Shanelle didn’t like being reminded of the most terrifying experience in her life. It should have been no more than a simple raid, with nothing for her to really fear. The leader, Keedan, merely wanted a shipment of gaali stones in exchange for her return, which he was sure to get. But one of Keedan’s warriors by the name of Hogar hadn’t been quite right in the head. Hogar liked to hurt people.

Shanelle had had to ride with him for a day, and with the gag over her mouth, no one had heard her screams as he viciously twisted and pinched her everywhere he could reach. He’d only inflicted bruises on her, but the terror of what he was doing combined with the pain had made her faint four times. And she had had a deep, unreasonable fear of pain ever since.

But she had never told anyone what Hogar had done, not even her mother when she was safe at home again. She had been too ashamed of her own cowardice to mention bruises that had faded by then.

Martha didn’t know she had stirred up unpleasant memories, however, and she was still making her point. “Tedra also couldn’t stand the thought of your being helpless someday against a brute who decided he wanted to claim you despite Corth’s being there to protect you. Corth is ample protection, but not against a warrior wielding a sword. He can get chopped up just like the real thing.”

Shanelle put a hand over her eyes, but that wasn’t going to put Martha off. She knew all this. There was no refuting it. She was like her mother in so many ways, but in one way they were glaringly different. Her mother had been born a fighter, a physical fighter, and she absolutely loved to take on men, her lifemate in particular, though she never had a chance of beating him and knew it. But Shanelle didn’t like to fight with anyone, physically or even verbally. The former type of fighting led to pain, and the latter was frustrating beyond belief, because you couldn’t argue with warriors. They didn’t get mad and they rarely ever conceded on any point.

Tedra had insisted she learn how to fight, though. Instead of teaching her her own style of hand-to-hand combat, which worked fine on other worlds but was next to useless against barbarians, Tedra had decided that Shanelle needed to learn how to use a sword. This was an unheard-of notion on Sha-Ka’an for a female to have because there was a Kan-is-Tran law, still in effect, that didn’t allow women to use weapons. That hadn’t stopped Tedra, however. It had taken two whole years, but she had finally got Challen to agree with her by simply demanding, “Do you want your daughter at the mercy of some warrior who will walk all over her just because he can, someone like Falder La-Mar-Tel?” Falder happened to be someone whom Challen had never liked or gotten along with, so that did it. And once Challen had agreed, there was nothing Shanelle could say.

But Shanelle had hated all those lessons. She hadn’t wanted any part of them. She might have finally got over her fear of a few bruises-her determination and her downing class had seen to that- but she hadn’t back then. And she’d still rather run away than use a sword, rather use her wits if nothing else would do. She hated confrontations, period, and this one she was having with Martha was a prime example. You couldn’t argue with or get the better of a Mock II computer any more than you could with a Sha-Ka’ani warrior. Both were extremely stubborn and both were utterly undefeatable.

“Maybe what you’ve learned of downing will come in handy someday-”

“Go ahead and say it!” Shanelle snapped. “On another world it might come in handy. Not on my world.”

“Well, you knew that,” Martha said reasonably. “That’s why you wanted to learn it, because you don’t intend to stay on your world much longer.” Shanelle just covered her eyes again, but this time it got a sigh out of Martha. “Tedra said it more than once, that she did you a disservice by raising you to her way of looking at things. You don’t hear other Sha-Ka’ani women objecting to the way things are, do you?”

“But she did raise me differently. And I know that the women on other planets aren’t treated the way our women are. Even on Kystran, if a couple living in double occupancy has a disagreement, they talk about it, with the one in the wrong ending up feeling tons of guilt, which is more than enough punishment as far as I’m concerned.”

“But did you find a male there that you would want to share sex with? You’re twenty years old, and your mother has given you her wholehearted approval to make up your own mind about sex, to go for it as soon as you find you want it, whether your father would approve or not. So did you find it?”

“You farden well have all the answers,” Shanelle grumbled. “You tell me.”

“All right, kiddo, but you aren’t going to like it. Sha-Ka’ani males may frighten you, but not because of their size. Their size is something you happen to appreciate, and in that respect you’re just like your mother. In your case, it can’t be helped. You were raised among them. They’re the only kind of men you are accustomed to. In fact, if a man isn’t a good deal over six feet tall and twice as wide as you are, you won’t be the least bit interested in him.”

“There are hundreds of planets that I am now capable of visiting, Martha. Are you going to tell me that in all those other worlds I won’t find any other men with a little extra height and a little extra brawn?”

“Sure you will. So let’s look again at what you’re objecting to on your own world, the way warriors deal with their women when they break the rules.”

“It’s demeaning, humiliating-”

“But absolutely painless,” Martha cut in. “There are worlds where lawbreakers are still executed. Worlds where they are still imprisoned for life. There are some worlds where the skin is whipped off their backs. And some worlds where advanced means are used to inflict excruciating pain without leaving a single mark. And that’s just a few of the little niceties you’ll find out there when you go hunting for your ideal mate. In comparison, what the Sha-Ka’ani do can only be considered merciful and harmless.”

“There are also worlds out there that aren’t so violent, worlds that don’t have so many ridiculous rules either.”

“You’ve been raised not to break the rules. Challen saw to that. So I don’t know what you’re really worried about.”

“Yes, you do, and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

As usual, Martha listened only to what she wanted to hear. “Did you ever wonder why your mother puts up with those punishments you’re so terrified of, that and everything else that she still objects to on that world?”

“Because she loves my father.”

“There’s that, yes, but there’s also the fact that he knocked her socks off the first time she saw him, and he continues to knock them off every time he takes her to bed. To have something like that to look forward to for the rest of your life is worth putting up with a few things you don’t like. And maybe what you don’t like isn’t even as bad as you think it is.”

“It’s not only that,” Shanelle mumbled.

“What was that? Did I hear that we’ve wasted all this time on only half of the problem?”

“Cut it out, Martha. If you know so much, then you know what the main problem is, and there isn’t any of your high-tech logic or reasoning to refute the fact that warriors don’t feel love. They feel lust, and a measure of caring for their lifemates, but they don’t experience love like women do. And before you throw it in my face that my father does, I happen to know how hard mother had to fight with him to get him to realize it and admit to it. And besides, father is an exception. There is no other warrior like him. Even my brother admits he doesn’t understand what father feels for mother. He’s never experienced it and he’s only half Sha-Ka‘ ani.”

Silence. Depressing silence. Why had she thought that Martha might be able to dispute that glaring fact of Sha-Ka’ani life? Martha had been studying and analyzing warriors for the past twenty years. If she couldn’t reassure Shanelle at this point, then there was no reassurance to be found. And Shanelle was not going to hook up with a man for life who could only offer her great sex-sharing and a little fondness. She wanted more. She wanted what her mother had found, but she wouldn’t find it on Sha-Ka’an.