17. THE WRONG FEAR

You wish for something you don't really want, the dream says.

Bad dream. Punish him. Chase him from the house.

Tie him to the horses, let him run with them.

Hang him. He deserves it.

Feed him mushrooms. Poisonous ones.

Paavo Haavikko, "The Trees Breathe Gently"


Mo had spent two whole days and nights with Battista and the Black Prince looking for a place where a hundred or more children could be hidden. With the bear's help, they had finally found a cave. But it was a long way off. The mountainside where the cave lay concealed was steep and almost impassable, especially for children's feet, and a pack of wolves roamed the ravine next to it, but there was some hope that neither the Milksop's hounds nor the Piper would find them there. Not a great deal of hope, but for the first time in many days Mo's heart felt a little lighter.

Hope. Nothing is more intoxicating. And hardly any hope was sweeter than the prospect of giving the Piper an unpleasant surprise and humiliating him in front of his immortal master.

They wouldn't have to hide all the children, of course, but many, very many of them, must be hidden. If all went according to plan, Ombra would soon be not just without men but almost entirely without children, and the Piper would have to go from one remote farm to another if he wanted to steal any, hoping the Black Prince's men hadn't been there ahead of him helping the women to hide their little ones.

Yes, much would be gained if they succeeded in getting the children of Ombra to safety, and Mo was almost in high spirits as they returned to the camp. But when Meggie came to meet him with anxiety on her face, that mood was gone at once. Obviously, there was more bad news.

Meggie's voice shook as she told him about the deal the Piper had offered the women of Ombra. The Bluejay in exchange for your children. The Black Prince didn't have to tell Mo what that meant. Instead of helping to hide the children, he himself would have to hide from every woman who had a child of the right age.

"You'd better take to living in the trees!" hiccupped Gecko. He was drunk, presumably on the wine they had stolen only last week from a couple of the Milksop's friends out hunting. "After all, you can fly up there. Don't folk say that's how you escaped from Balbulus's workshop?"

Mo would happily have punched his drunken mouth, but Meggie reached for his hand, and the anger that sprang up in him so quickly these days ebbed away when he saw the fear on his daughter's face.

"What will you do now, Mo?" she whispered.

What indeed? He didn't know the answer. All he knew was that he would rather ride to the Castle of Night and surrender than hide. He quickly turned away so that Meggie wouldn't read his thoughts on his face, but she knew him so well. Too well.

"Perhaps Resa's right after all!" she whispered to him, while Gecko stared at them with bloodshot eyes, and even the Black Prince couldn't conceal his anxiety. "Perhaps," she added, almost inaudibly, "we really ought to go back home to Elinor, Mo!"

She'd heard him and Resa quarreling.

Involuntarily, he looked around for Resa, but he couldn't see her anywhere.

What will you do now, Mo?

Yes, what indeed? How was the last song about the Bluejay to go? But they never caught the Jay, however hard they looked for him. He disappeared without trace, as if he had never been. However, he left the Book behind, the White Book that he had bound for the Adderhead, and with it the Adder's immortal tyranny. No, that must not be the last song. No? What, then? But one day a mother, fearing for her children, gave the Bluejay away. And he died the worst of all deaths ever suffered by any man in the Castle of Night. Was that a better end to the story? Was there any better end at all?

"Come along!" Battista put an arm around his shoulders. "I suggest we get drunk to drown this news. If the others have left any of the Milksop's wine, that is. Forget the Piper, forget the Adderhead, drown them all in good red wine."

But Mo didn't feel like drinking, even if the wine silenced the voice he kept hearing inside himself since his quarrel with Resa, I don't want to go back, it said. No, not yet…

Gecko staggered back to the fire and pushed in between Snapper and Elfbane. They'd soon start fighting again; they always did when they were drunk.

I'm going to get some sleep. That clears the head better than wine," said the Black Prince. "We'll talk tomorrow."

The bear lay down outside his master's tent and looked at Mo.

Tomorrow.

What now, Mortimer?

It was getting colder every day. His breath was white vapor hanging in the air as he looked around for Resa again. Where was she? He'd picked her a flower with a shallow cup, pale blue, a species she hadn't yet drawn. Fairyglass, people called it, because it collected so much morning dew in its soft petals that the fairies used it as a mirror.

"Meggie, have you seen your mother?" he asked.

But Meggie didn't reply. Doria had brought her some of the wild boar that was roasting over the fire. It looked like a particularly good piece of meat. The boy whispered something to her. Was it his imagination, or had a rosy flush just risen to his daughter's face? In any case, she hadn't heard his question.

"Meggie, do you know where Resa is?" Mo repeated, taking great care not to smile when Doria cast him a quick and rather anxious glance. He was a good-looking lad, a little smaller than Farid, but stronger. Presumably he was wondering whether the songs about the Bluejay told the truth when they said he guarded his daughter like the apple of his eye. No, more like the finest of all books, thought Mo, and I sincerely hope you're not going to give her as much grief as Farid, because if you do the Bluejay will feed you to the Prince's bear without the slightest hesitation!

Luckily, Meggie hadn't read his thoughts this time. "Resa?" She tasted the roast meat and thanked Doria with a smile. "She rode over to see Roxane."

"Roxane? But Roxane is here." Mo glanced at the tent used as an infirmary for the sick. One of the robbers was in there, curled up in pain – probably from eating poisonous fungi – and Roxane stood outside the tent talking to two women who were nursing him.

Meggie looked at her, bewildered. "But Resa said she'd arranged to meet Roxane."

Mo pinned the flower that had been meant for her mother to Meggie's dress. "How long has she been gone?" He did his best to sound casual, but Meggie was not to be deceived. Not by him.

"She set out around midday! If she's not with Roxane, then where is she?"

She was looking at him in bewilderment. No, she really had no idea. He kept forgetting that she didn't know Resa nearly as well as she knew him. A year was not a particularly long time to get acquainted with your own mother.

Have you forgotten our quarrel? he wanted to reply. She's gone to see Fenoglio. But he bit back the words. Fear made his chest feel tight, and he'd only too gladly have believed it was fear for Resa. But he was as bad at lying to himself as to anyone else. He was not afraid for his wife, although he had reason to be. He feared that, somewhere in Ombra, the words were already being read aloud that would take him back to his old world, like a fish caught in a river and flung back into the pond it came from… Don't be stupid, Mortimer, he thought angrily. Who is going to read the words, even if Fenoglio really did write them for Resa? Well, a voice inside him whispered, who do you think?

Orpheus.

Meggie was still looking at him in concern, while Doria stood beside her hesitantly, unable to take his eyes off her face.

Mo turned. "I'll be back soon," he said.

"Where are you going? Mo!"

Meggie hurried after him when she saw him go over to the horses, but he did not turn again.

Why in such a hurry, Mortimer? the voice inside him mocked. Do you think you can ride faster than Orpheus can speak the words with his oily tongue? Darkness was falling from the sky like a scarf, a dark scarf smothering everything, the colors, the birdsong… Resa. Where was she? Still in Ombra, or on her way back already? And suddenly he felt the other fear – as bad as the fear of those words. The fear of footpads and nocturnal spirits, the memory of women they had found dead in the bushes. Had she at least taken the Strong Man with her? Mo uttered a quiet curse. No, of course not. He was sitting there with Battista and Wayfarer by the fire, and he had already drunk so much that he was beginning to sing.

He ought to have known. Resa had been very quiet since their quarrel. Had he forgotten what that meant? He knew that silence of hers. But he had gone off with the Black Prince instead of talking to her again about what made her so silent – almost as silent as in the days when she had lost her voice.

"Mo, what are you doing?" Meggie's voice sounded faint with fear. Doria had followed them. Meggie whispered something to him, and he set off toward the Prince's tent.

"Damn it, Meggie, what's the idea of that?" Mo tightened the horse's girth. He wished his fingers weren't shaking so much.

"Where are you going to look for her? You can't leave this camp! Have you forgotten the Piper?"

She clung to him. Then Doria came back with the Prince. Mo cursed and put the horse's reins over its head.

"What are you doing?" The Black Prince stopped behind him, the bear at his side.

"I have to go to Ombra."

"Ombra?" The Prince gently moved Meggie aside and reached for the reins.

What was he to say to him? Prince, my wife wants Fenoglio to write words that will make me disappear before your eyes, words that will turn the Bluejay back to what he once was – nothing but an old man's invention, vanishing as suddenly as he appeared?

"This is suicide. You're not immortal, whatever the songs say. This is real life. Don't forget that."

Real life. What's that, Prince?

"Resa has ridden to Ombra. She set out hours ago. She's alone, and it's night. I must go after her."

… and find out if the words have already been written. Written and read aloud.

"But the Piper's there. Are you going to make him a present of yourself? Let me send some men after her."

"Which men? They're all drunk."

Mo listened to the night air. He thought he could already hear the words that would send him back – words as powerful as those that had once protected him from the White Women. Above him the withering foliage rustled in the wind, and the drunken voices of the robbers by the fire came to him. The air smelled of resin, autumn leaves, and the fragrant moss that grew in Fenoglio's forest. Even in winter it was still covered with tiny white flowers that tasted like honey if you crushed them in your fingers. I don't want to go back, Resa.

A wolf howled in the mountains. Meggie turned her head in alarm. She was afraid of wolves, like her mother. I hope she stayed in Ombra, thought Mo. Even if that means I have to pass the guards. "Let's go back, Mo. Please!"

He swung himself up on the horse. Before he could stop her, Meggie was up there, too, sitting behind him. As determined as her mother… she put her arms around him so firmly that he didn't even try to persuade her to stay behind.

"Do you see that, bear?" asked the Prince. "Do you know what it means? It means there'll soon be a new song – about the Bluejay's sheer pigheadedness, and how the Black Prince sometimes has to protect him from himself."

There were still two men sober enough to ride. Doria came, too, getting up behind the Prince on his horse without a word. He wore a sword that was too large for him, but he could handle it well, and he was as fearless as Farid. They would be in Ombra before it was light, although the moon now stood high in the sky.

But words were so much faster than any horse.

Загрузка...