If at Faust You Don`t Succeed

CHAPTER 16

Their punt drifted like a dream on the slow-moving river. This, he knew, had to be Phlegethon. The stream narrowed, the region became more bleak, and soon there was no vegetation except for black poplars and mournful fields of asphodel.

"We're getting there," Faust said. He'd been doing most of the punting since they began. He had been able to get a little relief out of a poling spell that imparted a certain measure of energy to each stroke, like an artificial muscle.

The Phlegethon declined until it was no more than a narrow ditch. The time was twilight. Faust knew they'd finally reached the Styx when the banks suddenly opened out, revealing a dark expanse of water.

At this he punted past a very large sign that was written in several languages. It read, the river styx. no private boats beyond this point.

"We'll have to stop here," he told Marguerite. "Charon has the sole rights of passage on this river. And anyhow, no magician, no matter how clever, can sail the Styx unaided. For that, he needs to make a deal.

Come, let us find Charon."

"Not at all," Faust said. "These entities have very little to do with religion. These are energies that are left over from a former age, and still take a certain shape and form."

Then he saw the boat coming toward him across the dark river. As it approached, he could see it was a sort of a houseboat, and it was propelled by five dolphins who had their noses against the stern and were pushing. This boat was making good time through the water since men amidships were helping with oars and paddles. It was a high, unsteady old boat and you could see yellow lantern light shining out through the portholes, and hear sounds of music and merriment.

"And who might you be?" Charon cried out, directing the boat toward Faust's punt. He was a surly old man, lean and spindly, with unshaven white-stubbled jaw and sunken eye sockets out of which tiny black eyes glittered. A nimbus of grayish white hair floated above his bony forehead and knobby skull. He had a wide, withered mouth with many twists and turns in it, but all tending downwards. He broke off his talk with Faust to give some orders.

"Pass that beam over there! Pull that oar! Take that sail in! Turn that thing around!"

Faust knew through his excellent classical education that several of the people working on the boat were dead Greek heroes. There were Theseus, Perseus, Hercules, Jason, and several others whom Faust didn't know, but presumed were also heroes.

"What do you want?" Charon called out.

"We need passage across the Styx," Faust says. "We need to get to a certain place and time, 1210 in Constantinople."

"We don't call at 1210 in Constantinople anymore," Charon said. "Too much trouble and upset there.

Too many souls wanting to be ferried away. I don't need to bring this boat into any trouble spots like that."

"I really need to go there," Faust says. "What will you take to bring us?"

Charon laughed. "You don't have anything that I want! And don't let that story that you can take the ride for one obol kid you. Doing anything on the Styx is damned expensive since I have the sole navigation contract. It's my territory exclusively so don't try going any farther in that punt. And don't try creeping around on the banks, either. I've got them planted with repel-me-not. You'd need a hell of a spell, magician, to deal with a constricting vine like the repel-me-not."

"I had no intention of sneaking around you," Faust said with dignity. "But I'm sure we can make a deal."

"What makes you so sure?" Charon asked. . "Because I have something you want."

"Hah! I can't imagine what that would be!"

"Listen," Faust said. "You noticed the person I came here with?"

Charon glanced at Marguerite. "The woman? Yes, I see her. So what?"

"Pretty cute, isn't she?"

"I see plenty of cute ones go by here," Charon said.

"Ah," Faust said. "But not Jive cute ones."

Charon stared at him. Faust said, "You do detect the difference between live ones and dead ones, don't you?" "Just because you're alive," Charon said, "don't go putting on airs. I'm just as good as you and just as real, even if I haven't ever existed in the mundane sense."

"That's not the point," Faust said. "I'm offering you a live lady."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Marguerite said.

Faust said to Charon, "Just one moment. Trust me." He took Marguerite aside and said to her in an urgent whisper, "My dear, you mustn't believe I'm intending any impropriety when I offered you to Charon. That's not my way at all. But I thought that he might like to have dinner with you and perhaps go morris dancing after that. It would be a change of routine for him and harmless enough for you."

"What made you think I wanted a change of routine?" Charon asked. He had been listening in.

"Men, both alive and dead, desire a change of routine," Faust said. "It is the essence of being."

"Well, I could probably do with a little something different at that. I could use—What is that newfangled word for it?"

"A vacation," Faust said.

"Yeah, a vacation. We didn't have those in the ancient world."

"You have to get used to newfangled notions," Faust said. "It's the essence of keeping up an appearance in this universe. Why don't you set this boat for Constantinople, 1210, and have a nice dinner and dance with Marguerite on the way?"

"And what would you be doing?" Charon said.

"I'll just pop into your cabin and catch up on some back sleep," Faust said. "It's been a busy day."