How I Live Now

22

It was strange sleeping in the barn with all those soldiers and it felt a lot less safe than you might have thought, given how many guns were around. It probably had something to do with realizing that the Bad Guys might want to find out where all the Good Guys were sleeping and then ambush them. But there wasn’t a whole lot we could do about it.

Piper and I had a little corner with a kind of overhang that made us feel protected and we put down the two blankets and rolled up some clothes for a pillow and as a last thought I went to see if Mrs. McEvoy and Alby were OK and warm enough and yes, they were warm enough, but not OK. I sat and tried to talk to Mrs. M for a while but it didn’t do much good because she seemed to have lost track of everything in the world and whatever words I could think of to say just came out sounding stupid.

I couldn’t stay with her too long in case her desperation rubbed off so I made an awkward excuse and climbed back up into the loft.

Piper and I huddled together under the blankets and it was noisy and busy all around us as the soldiers made some food and cleaned up all their weapons and yelled jokes at each other across the barn most of which you couldn’t repeat, and finally they turned down the hurricane lamps and in shifts they slept too, with a watch that changed every few hours. It wasn’t the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had but we were getting used to strange circumstances and it wasn’t the worst either.

One of the army guys called Baz, who we knew from milking, came over to us in the morning with some oatmeal and milk and cups of tea and we were so grateful and he was so in love with Piper that he sat and stayed with us while we ate and told us As Much As He Knew.

He said that the murders of Major Mac and Joe had sparked off a nasty battle in that area and it was exactly what everyone had been trying to avoid. The Enemy apparently wasn’t any more anxious than we were to start fighting and shooting, and they had proved it by letting our army get on with whatever they had to do for the better part of three months.

But no one was happy now, and there were a lot of stupid brave Country Folk armed with duck hunting rifles taking potshots at tanks and most of the time getting slaughtered for their trouble.

Baz was smart and trying to be funny to cheer us up and said we shouldn’t worry and found some trashy paperbacks for us to read while we were hanging around all day. He said he’d come see us that night after he got back from patrol.

When he did come back Piper was off helping the cook and I took the chance to tell him about my plan to get back together with Piper’s family though I swore him to secrecy, and he looked pretty worried at the thought of us setting out alone but didn’t actually say the words Don’t Be Crazy which was moderately encouraging.

I asked if he thought it was possible Isaac and Edmond and Osbert were all still living together and he shrugged and said Anything’s possible, but there’s a lot of trouble about. He looked at me for a minute like he was trying to size up what I was likely to do and finally said No place is really safe. You’re better and worse off here with us—

He stopped for a second but then pretended he’d just been distracted by a noise and started talking again.

—but if you did set off alone and kept off the roads and away from obvious danger you might be OK. The trick is to avoid contact with anyone you can’t positively identify because everyone’s tired and up against the clock and most of The Enemy know they’re never going home again and don’t have a heck of a lot to live for.

He stopped again.

This time it was because he saw Piper coming back from the cooking area with some soup and she smiled her beautiful smile when she saw Baz and folded herself down into the straw, leaning up against him like a cat to eat her supper.

One thing you sure couldn’t miss was how many strange alliances were forged in a war. You could see Baz was as happy as he’d ever been in his life just sitting next to Piper, war or no war, and not in a creepy way either. You could just tell that after months around nothing but big smelly burping farting men, the presence of Piper with her big eyes and pure soul made him feel like all he wanted was a chance to die to protect her. I didn’t seem to have that effect on anyone but it would have been a waste for both of us to be saints.

That night Baz moved his sleeping bag from across the loft where he’d been all along and laid it across our corner. Hours after I fell asleep, I woke up to see him half sitting, awake and watchful. And the way he occasionally looked over to make sure we were safe reminded me exactly of Jet.