House of Small Shadows

SIXTEEN

Leonard sat beside her and held her hands. His touch was light, the palms of his hands dry. She didn’t know hands could be so dry. Maybe it was age. When she finally stopped crying and looked up, she noticed her boss’s small grey eyes were moist.

‘This scoundrel. This, this… bastard. I’d like to give him a piece of my mind. And more.’

The notion of the thin old man in the wheelchair enacting some kind of chivalrous revenge on her behalf was ludicrous. Sniffing, she began to giggle, but laughing made her feel as if she were also being unkind. ‘Look at me. What a mess. And bothering you with this. I’m sorry, Len.’ Outside the office, it was going dark. She’d only gone to work in the late afternoon to explain to Leonard the real reason why she had been missing for a week.

‘Nonsense. Nothing to apologize for. I’m flattered, and very glad that you have confided in me. Though I don’t understand it. Is he blind? A congenital idiot? I mean, to let you go? He’s a first-rate fool and I’d like to see him get his comeuppance. It would give me a great deal of pleasure to have a hand in it! Where does he live, Worcester you say?’

‘Please, Leonard. Don’t even think it. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’re even willing to listen. I’m being pathetic. But please don’t get involved.’

‘You are not pathetic. And we cannot account for the idiocy of others. My God, he’s looking a gift horse in the mouth. The way he has gone about this. It’s appalling. And not a word since to ask after you?’

As she recounted the whole sorry tale from the previous week, Leonard had not said a word, just winced and sucked in his breath. But she could tell he was genuinely upset, as if his own daughter had been jilted in a horrible fashion.

‘He doesn’t know what he wants. Thinks he does. Or did. He’s so directionless, listless, but then so angry. Like he’s still a teenager. But I couldn’t help being in love with him.’

‘Then you’re better off out of it. And it sounds to me like you can count on his downfall, if it’ll make you feel any better. And so will she, I’m sure, whoever this hussy is. Rest assured, my dear, justice has a peculiar way of making unexpected appearances. Any ideas who it might be?’

‘No idea.’

‘Best not to know. It won’t do you any good. And she’ll never be your equal. He’ll realize it too late. This is on him, not you.’

Catherine nodded. ‘I seem to bring it out in people—’ She stopped. Hearing her own paranoia out loud made her feel pitiful, even ashamed. ‘I don’t know why I am ever surprised.’

‘Now stop that. You are a beautiful and gifted young woman. Special. Unique. I don’t deal in anything else, my girl, and wouldn’t with a partner in this firm. Not everyone can see how exceptional you are. But there are plenty who can.’

Catherine looked at Leonard. His eyes had clouded and he looked past her, into the distance. ‘We’ve both seen enough of it. Exclusion. Mockery. Hurtful things. I know. I know.’ Leonard cleared his throat.

Now Catherine felt selfish and foolish, and even more childish, if that were possible. Here was a man in a wheelchair, disabled for all of a life he’d turned into a success. But nothing would have been easy for him. Perhaps that is why he still traded on the fringes, amongst the misfits and outcasts, where he’d also been manoeuvred. And had he ever known love?

‘The only defence,’ he no more than whispered, ‘is finding others. Like minds. And belonging.’ He turned to her and smiled. ‘Like us, kitten. Like it or not you’re stuck with me. We’re cut from the same cloth.’

‘A pair of nutters.’

‘That’s one word for it. Now, let’s get that dinner I owe you.’

‘You don’t. My treat. It’s the least I can do for putting you through this.’

‘Nonsense. And maybe we should postpone your trip to the Red House. I’m not sure Edith is a fitting antidote to what you’ve just been put through.’

‘No. I want this. For us. For the business. It’s too good. I won’t let him wreck it.’