Hitchers

CHAPTER 38

An hour later, Grandpa took over. I was grateful to the cosmos that I’d gotten a good four hours, enough to see Mick’s glorious concert to the end. Now I returned to my own struggle, clinging to my body as Grandpa went about planning his new life.

I, on the other hand, went about planning my death.

If I was going to die, I decided I would at least choose the time and place. It wasn’t an idle decision; I knew I would spend decades wherever I slipped out.

The idea of that, the hard truth of it, rattled me to the bones. My time was almost up.

I tried to calm myself so I could think, but all I could think about was that place where all of the color drains out of your eyes. I dragged my thoughts back to the matter at hand. Where did I want to be?

Gilly had been lucky, slipping back into Deadland on the roof, where his life’s ambition had been realized.

It would be nice to have company. Maybe I could end up near Summer. It would be comforting to have Summer with me. I was further gone than her, though, so unless she made a point of dying in the same place as me, I couldn’t make it work.

I’d much rather be outdoors. The thought of spending decades in an apartment, like Annie, depressed the hell out of me. Better to see trees, water.

Maybe the ocean.

It came to me with a clarity bordering on prescience. I should die beside Kayleigh, on that pier overlooking the ocean. It was perfect—twins reunited, the timeless ocean. There couldn’t be much of Kayleigh left, but maybe there was something. We could mix and blow away together.

I pushed the image away. Thinking about it was like falling into a damp, dark well. That’s what disturbed me most—being swept off a crumb at a time. I would be far more comfortable with an afterlife that involved staying whole.

I wasn’t sure if this plan was even possible; Tybee Beach was a three-hour drive, if I drove like mad. I was getting three or four hours tops, and less each time.

If I was going to do it, I had to do it the next time I was in control. As Grandpa drank, cut-and-pasted strips, and began getting back in touch with a few of his old friends, I made a mental to-do list so when I next took control I could spring into action.