Here There Be Dragons

Chapter 3

HE WALKED up the street to the local inn, where the knights spent most of their time eating and drinking. He went into the inn and looked for the captain of the King's Guard. The captain was seated at the first table, a huge platter of beef and a tankard of ale in front of him. He was a fat man with a red face and a wart on the left side of his nose. He kept eating while William talked to him.

"Captain," he said, "I need a brave and courageous knight or three for a brave and courageous deed."

"All of my knights are brave and courageous," said the captain, without looking up from the table.

"The king needs a dragon," said William, "medium-sized and with colored lights. So, will you kindly supply me with someone brave and courageous enough to go after one? The captain choked on his ale and looked up suddenly.

"A dragon?" he said. "You want me to send one of my men after a dragon?"

"That is correct. One, or two, or three, or as many as you feel would be necessary." The captain scratched his head.

"Well, I don't know," he said finally. "Most of my men are out of practice when it comes to dragons... ."

The inn was suddenly very quiet. At the mention of the word "dragon" all the clattering of platters and tankards and dice had stopped. All the laughter and the sounds of table-pounding and chair-scraping had stopped. William felt everyone staring at him.

"Are you trying to tell me that your men would be afraid to go after a dragon?" he asked.

"Afraid!" snorted the captain through his mustaches (which were quite large, and blew up almost as high as his ears when he snorted). "My men afraid of dragons? I should say not!

"Are any of you men afraid of dragons?" he called out in a loud voice.

"N-no," came several soft answers. "But of course, we're out of practice when it comes to dragon-slaying. . "

"Not slaying, just catching," said William, "and I can see that I'm getting nowhere this way. So I'll just ask for volunteers. Do any of you men want to volunteer to go get a dragon for the princess' birthday party and bring it back alive?"

No one answered.

"Come, come!" cried William, jumping up onto a table. "Surely a few of you brave fellows would be willing to do this thing to make the princess' birthday a happy and memorable occasion. Who will be first to volunteer?"

Still no one answered.

"Then I think you are all cowards!" said William.

"Not so, not so ! " cried the captain. "Consider, if you please, the circumstances. All of these men are fearless and have done many brave deeds in the past, or they would not be knights today. They are, as I said, just out of practice when it comes to dragons. They do not know the meaning of the word 'fear'."

"Doubtless," said William, "and a good many others besides.

"You there," he said to one man. "What was the last brave deed you did?"

The knight looked at his captain, looked at William. Finally, he said, "I saved the princess' poodle from a large and ferocious rat one day, sir, and the king knighted me on the spot."

"I see," said William. "And you?" he asked another knight. "What was your brave deed?"

"I escorted the queen to a ball, back when the king had an attack of the gout. He knighted me for it."

"I see," said William. "How about you?" he asked another. "Have you ever captured a dragon?"

"No, sir," answered the knight, "but I caught a boy picking flowers in the palace garden and the king knighted me for it."

"A small boy?" asked William.

"He was pretty big for his age," said the knight.

"That was my nephew Louis," said William. "I remember the incident. He is short for his age.

"Have any of you knights ever seen a dragon?" he called out.

No one answered.

"How about you, captain?" he asked.

The captain looked back at his platter and reached for his tankard. "I do not choose to answer that question, because it is none of your business," he told him.

"Then no one here knows anything about dragons, and no one here will help me?"

No one answered.

"All right. Then you are all cowards, and I will go by myself to seek a dragon." He turned away and walked out of the inn.