TWENTY-TWO

In days long gone she and Graye had played in this garden, giggling as little girls, laughing raucously as young ladies. Now Janessa was a woman grown it seemed all the mirth had been stripped from the place. Autumn was setting in, and the leaves had faded through yellow to brown and fallen to the damp grass, leaving the trees bare and forlorn. The ornamental statues of frolicking maids and their handsome suitors seemed as cold as the stone they were hewn from, in stark contrast to the spirited quality they seemed to take on in the long, bright days of summer.

‘I hear renovation of the Old City is well under way,’ Graye said as they strolled along a gravelled path between two hedgerows of lavender.

‘Yes,’ Janessa answered, rebuffing another attempt by Graye to strike up conversation. She knew she was being impolite. She didn’t mean to be, but she couldn’t seem to shake off her bad humour. Her responsibilities weighed on her now more than ever. She simply couldn’t dislodge Odaka’s words from her mind; for every decision you make there will be consequences.

For all her attempts to lighten the mood Graye knew her friend was troubled, and she did not impose. If Janessa had wanted to unburden herself she knew Graye would listen.

The smell of the lavender was faint but still there, clinging to the faded flowers. Behind them, Governess Nordaine hummed a tuneless dirge, clearly bored with her duties — not that she would ever have complained.

‘I’m sorry, I’m not much company today,’ Janessa said. She mustn’t wallow in self-pity, especially when others had situations so much worse than hers.

‘You never have to say sorry to me.’ Graye smiled, linking arms with Janessa and giving her hand a squeeze.

It was a simple gesture but meant the world.

‘No, I rarely ever do, do I?’ said Janessa. ‘Remember when I found that frog?’

‘Yes, I do: you chased me around the garden from noon till sunset with it. When your mother told you to apologise you blankly refused.’

‘It was only a frog.’

‘They’re slimy disgusting creatures that should be killed on sight.’

‘Not like hedgehogs then?’

They both laughed. Graye had found a hedgehog in the gardens when they’d been no more than nine winters. She’d been determined to keep it as a pet, right up until the creature’s fleas infested her hair and attacked her so mercilessly that she’d begged the Governess to hack her waist-length locks off. Janessa hadn’t remembered laughing at the time, but the memory was funnier than anything she could recall.

Their laughing stopped when they saw Odaka approaching.

‘Here he comes,’ said Graye. ‘Happy as ever. I think if that one ever smiled his teeth would fall out from the shock of exposure.’

Janessa shushed her friend, but had to fight back a giggle.

‘My lady,’ said Odaka, with his customary bow. He was dressed in a red robe, lined with black silk, and wore a matching hat. ‘I trust you are well. It is cooler today, but still pleasant, do you not think?’

Janessa couldn’t think how to reply. It wasn’t like Odaka to make idle conversation about the weather. Immediately she was on her guard.

‘Yes, very pleasant,’ she said, though she really wanted to ask what in the hells he wanted.

‘Lady Daldarrion, Governess Nordaine, I trust you too are well?’

For Odaka to even acknowledge the existence of Janessa’s companions was unusual, but to ask them how they were … Consequently, both women merely mumbled their reply, as surprised as Janessa at the regent’s behaviour.

Janessa was impatient and about to ask what was wrong when Odaka announced, ‘One of your guests awaits in the vestibule, my lady.’

He extended an arm, signifying she shouldn’t keep the guest waiting — whoever it was.

‘Thank you, Odaka,’ Janessa said, moving towards the palace. ‘Come along,’ she encouraged her entourage, but Odaka had other ideas.

‘Er, I think your majesty may want this to be a private audience.’

‘But I am her majesty’s chaperone,’ Nordaine replied. ‘I should be by her side at all times. Especially when she speaks with her guests.’

‘That won’t be necessary on this occasion,’ said Janessa, not entirely sure. One of her guests could mean anything. Might she risk being alone with Baroness Isabelle or her foul son Leon?

She followed Odaka into Skyhelm, only a little reassured by the heavy presence of the Sentinels. Before she reached the vestibule, she could not stop herself from asking, ‘Who is this guest, Odaka?’

‘Someone who has requested an audience, my lady.’

‘I might have assumed that,’ she said, on the edge of irritation. ‘Which of our guests?’

Odaka stopped before her, bowed and ushered her forward. To her surprise she realised they had already reached the vestibule, and within, waiting for her, was Raelan Logar.

‘What is the meaning of this?’ she said quietly, hoping Odaka would answer before Raelan even noticed she had arrived.

‘Lord Raelan wishes to speak with you, my lady. I am merely carrying out the wishes of our guest.’

‘I don’t understand. At the Feast the man was gruff and rude, and you said I could choose my own suitor.’

‘And nothing has changed. But if you do not speak to him, you will never know why he has requested to see you.’

All this Odaka said while still locked in a bow, his arm still gesturing into the vestibule. By now Raelan had turned and could see them both standing there. Janessa could only imagine how ridiculous they looked — her whispering from the side of her mouth and Odaka bent at the waist like a cripple.

‘My lord,’ she said, greeting Raelan with a smile. ‘What a pleasant surprise.’

Raelan’s mouth twitched at one side, into a half smile. ‘My lady, the pleasure is all mine.’

I’m sure it is. ‘I understand you have been with us since the Feast, but I have had little time to spend with guests of the palace.’ Because I’ve been avoiding you like scurvy. ‘Please accept my apologies.’

‘None are necessary, my lady.’

‘How are you enjoying your stay at Skyhelm?’ Would you rather be having your legs sawn off, perhaps?

‘The rooms are adequate. Though in Valdor we prefer a little less ostentation.’

I’m sure you flog yourselves to sleep at night too, after washing in snow. ‘I find them somewhat gaudy myself. Not to everyone’s taste.’

Raelan nodded, his mouth twitching once more. Janessa noticed his fists were clenched, his knuckles white.

He smiled faintly, as did she.

What was she supposed to say now? She looked to Odaka, but he had moved from sight, leaving her alone with Raelan. Her sense of unease increased as the silence wore on. Surely it was time for him to say what was on his mind. Why had he requested an audience if he wasn’t going to speak?

She glanced to left and right, desperate for something else to say. It was clear Raelan had something he wanted to get out but was tongue-tied. Janessa felt her heart thumping as the awkwardness of the moment dragged on.

She looked at him, and he at her. His eyes were doleful, as though at any moment he might burst into tears.

‘You know our houses have been allied for many years?’ he said, finally.

‘I do,’ she replied, knowing full well the lines of the Mastragalls and Logars had been close for centuries.

‘And that even now our fathers stand shoulder to shoulder against enemies of the Free States?’

‘Yes, Lord Raelan, of course I do.’

‘Then you know our duty is clear.’

‘Our duty, Lord Raelan?’

‘To join our houses and strengthen the union of the Free States.’

She paused, taking in his words, unsure if she had heard him correctly. ‘Was that a proposal of marriage, Lord Raelan?’

He cleared his throat. ‘I know this is not ideal for either of us, but there is no alternative. The Mastragalls will have the strength and support of the Logars and all Valdor. The Free States will remain secure.’

How romantic. ‘Yes … erm … but …’

‘I know this must come as a surprise. But we must remain rational.’

Yes, rational. Just how I’d always dreamed. ‘I understand, Lord Raelan, but …’

‘We cannot tarry on this matter. It is a good match for you, and a practical one for me.’

Please, stop. My heart flutters and I’m feeling faint from the praise. ‘I must send word to my father first. He must approve the proposal.’ Or rather, I must tell him I’m refusing it … tempting as it is.

‘Approve? This match was your father’s idea.’

That took time to sink in.

Odaka had told her just the other night that her father would allow her to refuse any proposal she did not agree with, and yet here he was, arranging her wedding. Could she refuse? Should she?

‘Lord Raelan, I appreciate your candour. The offer is indeed a most tempting one. I will think on it.’

With that she turned quickly, trying to avoid seeing his reaction, but she was not quite quick enough. Raelan’s brow was furrowed, whether in anger or confusion she couldn’t tell, but she was not staying to find out.

Janessa rushed from the vestibule as fast as she could without running. She passed Odaka in the corridor outside and before he could speak she raised a hand to check him. Odaka Du’ur was not put off so easily, though, and he followed her down the corridor.

‘Might I ask what your majesty’s answer was?’

So, Odaka had been complicit in this arrangement all along.

‘No you may not,’ she replied, not even attempting to hide her annoyance.

‘Your father will want to know as soon as possible.’

That made her stop. She rounded on Odaka who only looked down at her impassively. ‘You told me my father would allow me to make my own decision. Was that a lie?’

‘Of course not. The decision is entirely down to you, though, as I told you before, there are consequences to all your decisions.’

‘Yes, you’ve made that perfectly clear. And now the kingdom relies on my decision. Despite what my father expects, I cannot make this choice without thought.’

With that she moved on down the corridor, relieved that Odaka made no effort to follow.

She had to think. Her father would allow her to make up her own mind, but had made his own wishes perfectly clear. She could choose her own husband if she wished, but the choice should be made for the good of the Free States.

What choice was there? Tall, arrogant Raelan — or would the shorter, no less arrogant Leon fit the bill?

She clearly had no choice at all.

Once in her chamber, she stared out of the window onto the city … the city that was forbidden to her.

Only it wasn’t.

It was forbidden to Princess Janessa Mastragall, a place she would rule over but never venture into … but then, had she always to be a princess?

Janessa opened the oak chest at the bottom of her bed and rummaged to the bottom. There, rolled into a tight ball, were the plain brown dress and shawl she always kept hidden. She bundled them up, hiding them beneath the skirts of her silken frock, and made her way down through the palace.

When she passed the Sentinels they stood to attention, but not one of them questioned where she was going. Why would they? Skyhelm was, after all, her home. One day it would be the place from where she governed the Free States. Why would anyone question her?

She moved down, gradually, to the kitchens, becoming more discreet as she did so. No one would wonder about her wandering the halls of the upper palace, but there was no reason for her to be down in its bowels, where the servants worked and slept. When she was a child at play, no one had questioned her when she ran about the kitchens and servants’ quarters; but now a grown woman, she could not be seen mixing with the servants. But over the years Janessa had become adept at subterfuge.

In the shadows of the kitchen stores she stepped out of her silken dress and donned the drab clothes she had kept hidden in her chamber for so long. Pulling the shawl over her distinctive head of red curls, she stepped into the kitchen. Within the hubbub of cooks preparing vegetables, meat and fowl for Skyhelm’s guests, no one gave Janessa a second glance. She strolled towards the side door, picking up two empty pails, and walked out into the yard beyond.

A massive wall surrounded the palace, each of its gates guarded by Skyhelm’s Sentinels, but they thought nothing of a young girl leaving the palace grounds to fetch milk for the kitchens. Getting back into the palace was never quite as easy, but leaving was always the same. It had been many days since she had done this, days since she had taken her freedom in the city, but right now this was what she needed.

With the shawl drawn over her head, she never got a second glance from the guards at the east gate as she walked right by. Once outside she placed the pails down and ran. She was free — free from the cloying opulence of the palace, free from Odaka and Raelan. Free from her duty and responsibility.

On the streets of Steelhaven she was no longer Princess Janessa.

She was no one.

Once outside the Crown District she splashed through the muck of the streets, quickly coating her shiny shoes in filth. Turning a corner she dodged a carthorse that was pulling a dray stacked high with neeps, laughing as the driver cursed her for a menace.

The sights and sounds of the city filled her head — people talking, laughing, shouting … living. No longer was she bound to the cloistered corridors. Out here she was unfettered, liberated from the shadow of her responsibilities.

Janessa could only envy these people, envy their freedom to choose their paths, their freedom to choose their lives and their loves.

Before long she reached her destination. It was a quiet tree-lined square, a single statue at its centre depicting Craetus, one of the ancient Sword Kings, his great battle blade held aloft.

Janessa was breathing heavily, feeling the blood coursing through her veins. With a smile on her face and her cheeks flushed, she sat on an iron bench, taking in the quiet, listening to the babble of street vendors beyond the square mixed with the tweetings of the few birds that remained in the bare branches.

As she sat she felt the first of the autumn chill, pulled the shawl tighter around her shoulders and glanced up to the parapet of Skyhelm, still visible on the distant skyline. She wondered what Odaka and Nordaine would do if they went to her chamber and found her missing. Would they question Graye? Would they think her kidnapped? Would they unleash the Sentinels to find her?

Let them panic. Let them fear for her. She needed this. She deserved this. If she was to be forced into a marriage not of her choosing, then the least they could do was allow her an afternoon’s respite before …

He was standing behind her.

She hadn’t heard him approach, but then she never did. He always came from nowhere, moving up on her like a shadow.

Janessa looked up and smiled. He did not smile back, but then he never did.

He sat beside her on the bench, and they stared at one another. As always, Janessa reached up and lightly traced the latticework of scars that marred one side of his beautiful face. At least they had not been added to since she had last seen him.

When she had first come here, when she had first stolen from the palace all those years ago, running away from some long forgotten rebuke, she had come to this place. As she cried to herself, wanting nothing more than to run away from this city and her family, he had come to her, and silently comforted her. Over the years, when she was hurt or lonely, she had come here, and he would be waiting.

That first time he had come to her he had borne but a single scar on his face. Every time they met afterwards there would be more scars, more marks, but she never asked their origin and he never told.

It was enough that they were there for one another. River, he had called himself, and she thought it apt, for when he spoke in his soft voice she could picture a lonely brook that sang its own wistful tune. At first he had been reluctant to talk to her, but now it was as though he could not wait to unburden himself, as he spoke of his hopes and his dreams for freedom, for a new life — always for a new life, as though the one he had was almost too much for him to bear.

So desperate had she been to keep him, so desperate to retain her secret love, she had never told him her real name, and on seeing a bird perched in a nearby tree had told him it was Jay. She had not wanted to lie, but it had seemed apt at the time. Gods, perhaps River was not even his name, but it mattered little to her. All that mattered was that they at least had some time together.

‘Hello, River,’ she whispered with a smile.

‘Hello, Jay.’ He did not smile back, but she could see in his eyes that he was grateful she had come.

Then, beneath the shadow of an old, leafless elm, they kissed.

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