Her Wolf

Chapter Two

Ashlee sat across from her father as he finished stitching Rex’s shoulder. Tristan’s brother, shirtless but clothed from the waist down, endured her father’s ministrations without complaint.

When they arrived home, her dad had immediately gone to work on her, and sewn four neat stitches on her forehead. She had not behaved quite as stoically as Rex. Good thing her father was a plastic surgeon, or she might carry a really unpleasant scar for the rest of her life, a constant reminder of her evening. Not that it was likely she would ever forget it.

Her mother, who was now fully clothed, sat across from Tristan and wrapped his paw in a bandage. When she finished, she stood and surveyed the room in the way only Victoria could. Ashlee had seen her do it a million times. It was as if she calculated the risk each person in the room presented to her. Now that she knew her mom could become a canine at will, her mother’s actions made a lot more sense. Finally, when she was finished, she crossed the room to sit next to Ashlee.

“Okay, Ash, I’m going to try my best to explain…”

Ashlee cut in angrily, her words tinged with the outrage she felt. “Start with how you knew about all of this. Why you can turn into a wolf like Tristan and Rex and I didn’t know about it. And why if you knew the impossible could be true,—like say, that it’s possible for a person to have visions that might actually come true—why you let me think I was crazy for the last half of a year. How could you not tell me that those things I was seeing might actually be true?”

Her mother sighed and looked down for a moment. “It’s all a very long story. But I guess, to answer your last question first, your father and I let you think you were crazy because we hoped you were. You’ve never shown any wolf signs. I had no reason to believe you held the magic inside of you. The doctors said you were showing symptoms of post-traumatic stress related to the ending of your engagement, and I chose to believe that was true. I didn’t want you mixed up in this in madness. I thought if I believed hard enough that you were a beautiful, smart, sensitive girl with no special abilities, then that was what you would be. I owe you an apology. I’m sorry, my love.”

Her mother’s eyes had filled with tears that Ashlee watched her blink away. She wanted to reach up and touch her mother but she didn’t. She was mad. Her parents, who knew it was possible she could have visions and exhibit out-of-the-ordinary behavior, had let her think she was crazy because they were scared? It made sense but it infuriated her just the same. She gritted her teeth to keep from yelling. She knew better than to make a scene in front of strangers. It would only make the situation worse.

Her father spoke up, his brown eyes swimming. “That’s why I sent you to the zoo, Ashlee. I thought maybe if you did have the gift, then being around all of those animals might help you somehow.”

“I tried to get him to change his mind. I was wrong again, if your dad hadn’t sent you there, you never would have found Trip. I apologize again.” Her mother looked at her hands.

Ashlee wanted to bang her head against the wall at the utter wrongness of this whole situation. “Okay. Enough apologies. What was done is over. I don’t understand it; I may never. But it was a memory of you telling me monsters were real that convinced me to go and help Tristan tonight. So ultimately you helped all of us, I guess. Please continue your story.” She was surprised at how reasonable she sounded and evidently so were her parents, as they shared a moment of eye contact that Ashlee could only call shock. Her father raised his brown eyebrows in amazement.

Her mother cleared her throat. “Okay. Rex and Tristan can fill in what I don’t know.

We should all be able to hear one another. Your father is my mate, we’ve been through the mating ritual, and that makes him pack. He’ll hear Tristan, as well. You can hear Tristan because you’re his mate, even though you haven’t yet done the ritual.” She paused to take a breath then gestured to Tristan’s brother. “Now, you won’t be able to hear Rex if he goes into telepathy until you go through the ritual and officially become pack, so Rex, keep the talking to the spoken kind for Ashlee’s sake.”

Rex nodded.

Ashlee stared at her mother and wondered if she’d ever really seen her before.

Always the prettiest woman in the room, to Ashlee and her sister she was ethereal, untouchable. But now, Ashlee could see that beyond Victoria’s blonde hair and blue-eyed appearance, stood a woman who possessed a will of steel. She had attacked the snake man with no hesitation even though she was the smallest wolf in the group.

Had there been any sign of any of this when she’d been growing up? Her mother had been strong and confident. She’d never gotten caught up in any of the pettiness that some of her friend’s mothers had seemed preoccupied with. Often they would catch her staring out in the distance, lost in thought. She’d pushed her father professionally and he’d thrived under her influence. Ashlee had been less motivated by her mother’s involvement, always feeling like she didn’t quite measure up, or that she was being judged somehow to see if she was different

But this level of odd Ashlee never could have foreseen.

“You see darling, we are wolf-shifters.” Ashlee opened her mouth to ask a question but her mother cut her off by raising her left index finger. “Or in simple terms, we can take the form of a wolf when we want to. In fact, some of us prefer to live as animals. But not me; I’ve always felt more human. It’s not clear why we can do it, but people from our families have had this ability for at least five hundred years or more. Some people think it’s magic. Some of our kind can even do magic. Before I left the island, I had learned a few simple spells I could control pretty well. I’ve seen enough to believe our shifts are mystical in their origin. Unlike others, I don’t need another reason for what I can do.”

She blew out a breath and sat in silence.

Our kind?

What did that mean?

They weren’t human. Her mother had said she’d hoped Ashlee was just a human girl.

What was she if not human? She pinched the inside of her arm. She certainly felt human.

She didn’t know what to say so she simply said nothing at all, her heart pounding in her chest.

Tristan crossed the room to sit at her feet. Ashlee, don’t you have any questions about this?

“I saw what happened tonight. I know you all became wolves.” She swallowed. “Is Dad a wolf too?”

Her father shook his head. “No baby, I’m not a wolf. Just an ordinary human.”

Ashlee nodded. “Like me. I’ve never become a wolf.”

Her mother rose. “No, honey. We don’t know if you can become a wolf or not. I never saw any sign of it in you, but the truth is that really doesn’t mean anything. Your first change, the first time you shift into wolf form, should be with a pack. Significant magic must be present to facilitate the first change. I went out of my way to never use magic around you, but my little bit of mystical abilities would not have been enough even if I had to push a change on you.”

Ashlee shook her head. “Why do you have to be with the pack?”

“Well, you don’t have to be. But it’s dangerous if you’re not. If a lone wolf awakened by itself, it could be detrimental. The wolf needs to feel the pack immediately to know it’s not alone in the world. Sometimes on the second and third shift too, but my family has always been strong, and the wolf and person are usually fine after the first time. Also, it usually takes a combined effort of the whole pack and the influence of the Alpha to bring on enough magic.” Her mother wrung her hands. “I’ve kept you from the pack. So, we don’t know if you can do it or not. Even if you can’t shift, you’re still obviously unique—what we call latent. You would still have some paranormal gifts that regular humans don’t have.”

“So you knew I might be, what is the word—latent—and you still said nothing?”

Her mother nodded and Ashlee bit her tongue. They’d been through this already but it still ate at her gut.

Tristan raised his head for a moment. She had a prophetic dream tonight. That’s why she came to the zoo.

Her mother sucked in her breath and gripped Ashlee’s arm. “Does this happen all the time? Or is it just the time with that horrible vision and now this one?”

Ashlee suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable that everyone in the room was staring at her. She stood up. “No. I think this was just these two times.”

Her mother looked down at the floor and her father shook his head. “You always had very bad dreams as a child, so intense, so real to you. The pediatrician told us it was normal, that you just had an active imagination. We should have known better. Again, your mother and I have become the king and queen of self-delusion.”

Rex snorted. “That’s for damn sure.”

Enough, Rex.

Ashlee was glad Tristan had said something. It was one thing for her to be annoyed at her family; it was another for someone else to butt in.

“About thirty years ago, darling, our pack leader—Tristan and Rex’s father—came to know a man named Claudius Brouseaux. Our pack had lived quietly and without problems for one hundred years on an island off the coast of Maine called Westervelt.

You won’t find it on any map. It’s very small, about fifteen square miles, most of it forest. I assume that is still the case?” Her mother looked at Tristan and Rex and they both nodded. “Kendrick was our pack leader and we trusted him implicitly.”

Tristan jumped up on the couch and put his head on Ashlee’s lap. Rex paced at the window and then turned around before he spoke. “Claudius convinced my father, or maybe my father convinced Claudius, that there was money to be made off shifters. We are human and animal. We think and reason like humans and possess the loyalty and instincts of wolves. Both live within us and it is a constant battle for control, but a glorious one. We live very long lives. Until we are thirty we age as a human does, and then we stop, and do not age again until we mate.”

“You guys don’t age until you have sex?” Ashlee’s mind whirled. Only Tristan’s head in her lap kept her seated.

No, little one, by mate he means bond. It is much like love but more so. It is eternal, the way all love should be but is not always. Ours really is forever; it cannot be destroyed once it is found. We recognize in the other person the other half of our own soul and we remain together until death.

“What happens when you die?” Tristan’s wolf eyes narrowed at the question and Ashlee swallowed hard.

Usually when one dies, the other does too.

Ashlee tried to speak but her voice came out a whisper. “That’s horrible.”

Her mother answered instead of Tristan. “It’s beautiful…I would never want to live a second without your father, not a millisecond.”

Ashlee watched Tristan do the equivalent of a wolf-shrug.

The remaining spouse is overwhelmed with a desire to follow their other half to the next life.

Ashlee couldn’t believe what she heard. Did the remaining spouse just drop dead?

“How does that work?”

They commit what we call ritual suicide. Unless there is a child to raise, in which case the parent waits to die until the child is old enough. Then, they too, are overwhelmed with the need to leave. We simply cannot live without the other. And those who try to resist the urge are doomed to living forever in agony…most do not try to resist.

Ashlee’s head spun and she shivered. “What happens if you don’t find your mate?

Do you stay thirty eternally?”

Unless we commit suicide, yes, or are killed.

Suicide?

Her mother paced the room. “So, honey, I began aging when I met your father. Until then I’d been thirty for about seventy-five years. Rex here, although he looks thirty, is three years my senior. I don’t know how old Tristan is. You were with the pack when they came to Maine one hundred years ago, yes?

That’s right. I was one year old. Tristan’s wolf eyes bore into Ashlee’s. Was he waiting for her to freak out? Another couple of minutes and she might oblige if she didn’t have a panic attack before then. Once again, she wiped her sweaty hands on her pants. I am the third of six boys. My two older brothers are so old they’ve stopped counting.

“How did you even meet Dad, Mom? Why aren’t you on the island with all of them?” She gestured towards Rex and Tristan.

“Thirty years ago, everyone went crazy.” Her mother swallowed. Rex slammed his back into the wall, which shook the pastoral watercolor that hung there so violently it almost fell off the wall. Rex’s hand steadied it before it did. Her mother continued, “Our pack leader brought Claudius to the island. It seemed strange. The only non-wolves on the island were mates of shifters. He was not. Claudius wanted to take the essence of the wolves in us and find a way to inject it into regular humans. He thought he could create an army of super-strong, aggressive, animal-like humans who would serve him. Kendrick wanted us to let him experiment on us. We objected. If I recall correctly, Trip here was the most ardent against the procedures.” Tristan growled and Ashlee stroked his head again. He settled down and closed his eyes.

“I was still mateless. In the middle of the night, our Alpha’s wife, Mary Jo, Tristan and Rex’s mother, awakened me. Part of what makes the Royals so special, so unique among us, is that something in their bloodline is different. An Alpha and his mate can live forever until he steps down or dies. Mary Jo looked twenty years old but she’d been alive for centuries. She told us that her mate had lost his mind. He’d brought in a witch…”

Ashlee jerked in her chair. “A witch?” Shape-shifters she could accept, she had no choice as she’d seen it herself, but witches?

You’ve been listening to this whole story and the witch is what you object to? Ashlee thought she heard a laugh in Tristan’s voice.

Rex stepped forward. “Kendrick, our father, had brought in a witch. He was going to kill all the unmated females, including babies and children, and then use the witch to cast a spell that would get our men to kill their mates if we didn’t consent to the testing. He’d gone to fetch the witch from the mainland. Our mother was an extraordinary woman. It takes a lot to defy your mate, especially if he is the Alpha of your pack. But she did. She grabbed all of the unmated women and sent them off all over the world. When the men awoke, we did not know what had happened to them. Our mother was an extraordinary mystic in her own right. She masked them with her magic so we could not find them.

However, the mated women refused to leave.”

Ashlee swallowed hard. “And did their mates kill them?”

Yes. They were completely changed by the spell; they could not control themselves or stop the need to kill their mates. All but two, that is. My uncles, my father’s brothers, did not harm their women. They took their own lives instead. My aunts remain alive to this day in agony, but as the only women still present in our pack—and only women can be healers—they must remain with us until some women return who can take over the mystical positions. Every day for the last thirty years has been a struggle for my aunts…

every minute that they are alive, they are wishing for death, to rejoin their mates.

“They still live then, all these years, they exist with the pain?” Ashlee’s mother’s eyes filled up with tears and Ashlee had to swallow her shock. Her mother never cried and this was twice in ten minutes she’d almost lost it.

“Our father killed our mother before the spell was even finished. He is also not dead.

It seems he has found a way to circumvent the kill-yourself-when-your-mate-dies impulse.” Rex snorted. “The other men, when they realized what happened, what they had done to the most precious thing in the world to them, their mates, they killed themselves immediately. It was gruesome and awful.” Rex paused in his speech, his eyes deep and fathomless. Ashlee wondered if he was reliving that time. She was grateful to not have those memories herself.

“My father thought he could control us with the threat of killing our future mates, but they were already gone, sent away by our mother. He killed her before he knew this, so she couldn’t tell him where they were. Trip and Theo, our fifth brother, the one right above me in age, led the attack on our father but he got away.

“Our mother had made the spell so that only when the danger had passed could we locate our missing women. That’s why the spell has never lifted and we have not been able to find anyone. Thirty men live on that island waiting the return of our missing girls—or at least the ability to find them, to know if they still live. Our eldest brother Michael has been acting as interim Alpha ever since. But he has no taste for the job. And obviously the danger is not over, as Father’s men attempted to get Tristan six months ago. We feared him dead. But evidently he’d just been trapped as a wolf and living in a zoo.”

After they stunned me with their magic while I waited for you, I managed to limp off into the woods. When I woke up I was in the back of an animal control truck on my way to New Jersey with no way to shift back. Whatever they did to me with their magic, they trapped me in this form and it’s been agony. Why have none of you ever tried to come home, Victoria?

“Mary Jo told us to go live our lives as humans. She said our magic would keep us safe as long as we were not together. So we split up, the little girls sent to orphanages and homes. I don’t know where they are. I thought to wait until the danger was over and I could come home.” Victoria turned to Ashlee. She had a small smile on her face.

“I was so lost at first. Live as a human? What did that mean? We’d been raised to fear exposure, to stay away from spending too much time out amongst non-shifters.

Kendrick could barely stand the shifters whose mates were humans. Mary Jo sent me to New York City. It was horrible at first. Where were the places to run as a wolf? There was so much noise, so many people. I worked odd jobs. I waitressed, but I broke everything I touched and I couldn’t keep orders straight. Finally, a woman I met on the subway who took pity on me got me a job at Columbia Presbyterian in the cafeteria. I sliced off the top half of my finger and that’s how I met Scott. And the wolf wants what it wants. My mate was human. Kendrick would hate me and I could care less.” Ashlee’s mom looked up and smiled at her. “I had you and your sister and I did not need to go back. I made myself forget.”

Ashlee had heard that story before. But they’d said her mother had been a student earning extra cash at the hospital. This version was very different.

Rex’s head jerked up. “Sister?”

Her mother’s eyes flared and Ashlee knew that whatever she was about to say would be her mother’s final word on the subject. Twenty-two years had taught Ashlee to be careful of her mother’s stubborn streak. “She is in college, and I will not give her to the pack until she is at least Ashlee’s age, and then only if she has a mate, as Ashlee does. I won’t have her passed around the group of you just because you’re lonesome for female companionship.“

Ashlee took a deep breath and cut off Rex’s response. She stared straight at Tristan, the word she uttered being of the utmost importance. “I can’t be your mate, Tristan. I can’t have any children. You’ll want to find someone else.”

Her father looked sad. “The doctors have told us that Ashlee’s reproductive organs, her ovaries and her uterus, simply do not work. Pregnancy is impossible without ovulation and the doctors aren’t sure her uterus could support a pregnancy even with someone else’s egg. It’s malformed.” Ashlee groaned. She hated when her father talked about what was such a personal, terrible fact of her life as if it was simply another medical discussion.

Tears stung the back of Ashlee’s eyes, but she did not shed them. She’d gone down this road before. Tom had been so sure his family would never accept him marrying a barren woman that he’d gone and cheated on her with some girl who worked at the Dairy Queen, and the ultimate irony of the whole thing was that he had knocked her up. Ashlee didn’t even know Tristan. Losing him couldn’t possibly be as great a loss as losing Tom over her infertility.

I don’t care.

“You don’t care?” Ashlee and her mother spat out at the same time.

No.

Her mother narrowed her eyes at Tristan. “You male shifters are all about the mating and the babies. How can you not care?”

Tristan made a snorting noise and opened his eyes. I could make generalities about female shifters; would you like that, Victoria?

Her mother shook her head and said nothing else.

Rex advanced on her mother, his hand on his hip. “You should have brought your daughters to us the second they were born. They should have been raised on our island.

With the pack.”

Her father, always the peacemaker, spoke softly. “We considered it. But Vicki was worried that since you didn’t seek her out, the danger might not be gone. which evidently it isn’t,. Also, Ashlee attached so early on to Tom that we thought he must be her mate.”

Who is Tom?

Ashlee pushed Tristan gently off her lap and stood. She walked to the other side of the room. “It doesn’t matter. He’s gone now. He married someone else. I don’t know about this mate thing.” She still needed to clarify some things in her own mind. She turned to her mother. “There was nothing about me as a child that led you to believe I could be like you?”

Her mother shook her head. “Other than the dreams that your father just reminded me of, no, there was not. Don’t forget ,Ashlee, I had no one to guide me in raising a half-shifter. I had no idea what to look for or how to tell. You were an imaginative, smart, wonderful little girl. But when you didn’t start to rage around puberty, when you didn’t start to demand release from our parental bounds, I didn’t think you had the wolf in you.”

Ashlee sucked in her breath. A sudden thought occurred to her. “But Summer raged.

She still does. She defies you at every turn.” Her mother nodded slowly. “Oh, I see, you thought I was normal but you didn’t believe Summer was.”

“And that’s why we’ve had to be so hard on her, so controlling of where she goes and who she knows. I know she’s got the wolf. But I won’t let it come out, not until she’s mature enough to protect herself.”

It all started to make sense to Ashlee. She needed to say something and she wasn’t sure she could. She swallowed and clenched her fists at her side. “You’ve never understood my nature.” Ashlee’s voice wavered and she forced herself to pull it together.

She pointed at her father. “But you should have.”

Her father looked down and her mother put her hands on her hips. “What do you mean Ash?”

Ashlee placed her hands over her heart. “I rage here.” Her voice came out a whisper but she knew enough now to know that with their wolf hearing they all heard what she said. She wasn’t finished. Tristan needed an answer from her. “I’ve just met you and I don’t even know what you look like as a human.” Except in my dreams, she added silently.

All of this we will work out when we get back home. Rex, call Michael. I cannot. Rex nodded and followed Ashlee’s father from the room.

Her mother turned around, her expression stricken. “Ash, do you want to go to Maine with Trip and Rex?”

Ashlee said nothing for a moment. Did she? This could be a chance to start again.

Hadn’t she just been thinking that morning that it was time to move forward? Her hands tingled. “If all of this is true, then I think I should go see it for myself, don’t you? But I want your promise, Tristan, that I can leave anytime I want.” Her mother smiled proudly at her request.

His eyes turned gentle when he looked at Ashlee. Anytime. I would not hold you against your will. Ever.

She sighed in relief.

“Trip, I implore you, she has been raised entirely as a human. That’s my fault, my decision. She knows nothing of our ways. Please treat her kindly. Her wolf must be very strong if it’s forcing visions on her without her ever having shifted. Perhaps I should come with her.”

Victoria, we revere our mates. Have you been gone so long you cannot remember?

We will work out Ashlee’s shift when we get to Westervelt. You are welcome to come; it is your home, always.

Ashlee’s father shook his head. “No.” Her mother looked up, shocked. “If Ashlee does this thing, it’s her experience to have. We’ve hidden her from herself. We’ll not interfere in her mating.”

Victoria’s voice shook but she held her stance. “I had other reasons for keeping her from the pack and not letting her come into contact with magic. I would not have her mated to a man who can be bewitched to kill her.” Her mother held her head high but fear simmered in her eyes. Ashlee’s eyes widened. These people were royalty to her mother and yet she stood up to them.

I would kill myself before that happened.

“You would doom both of you to death, then?”

She could choose to follow or not, like my aunts did.

“And condemn her to a torturous existence?” Her mother advanced on the wolf.

“You are your father’s son; how can you be so sure of what you would do?” Silence filled the room, the kind that usually precipitated one of her mother’s explosions, but Tristan lay down, his head on the floor.

I am my mother’s son.

“Let’s hope so, shall we?”

Tristan watched Ashlee go upstairs to pack a bag. Her mother had told her to pack enough clothes for a week. She would be gone much longer than a week, if Tristan had anything to say about it. She was his mate, it was true, but the problems that both Ashlee and Victoria had brought up were legitimate.

What if she didn’t think he was handsome?

What if she wanted to leave to lead a life away from the pack? That one was easy.

He would leave with her. If Vicki could live off-island as a human for decades, so could he, once he was turned back to his human form. He would gladly go wherever Ashlee wanted.

But Vicki’s greatest charge still rang in his ears. Was he his father’s son? Could a witch wielding dark magic force him to harm his beloved? No. His uncles had resisted.

So could he.

He hoped.