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Chapter 14

(I)

Veronica dreamed of her wedding night. Standing beside her, of course, was Mike, debonair and so handsome in his tux. Veronica wore a flowing, white wedding gown…and she’d deliberately not worn a bra because she knew how turned on Mike got over her breasts and nipples. Before she knew it, they both exchanged their “I do’s” and the reverend was saying “I now pronounce you man and wife,” and then the organ belted out its verifying notes as their union of matrimony was now sealed in the eyes of God.

Later, Veronica stretched back nude on the huge bed in the bridal suite. It was time to consummate the union. Mike stood at the foot of the bed, still in his tux, mind you, and still so handsome. However…his penis was out.

“Mike, honey, why don’t you take off your clothes and make love to me now?”

“Don’t need to take ’em off, baby. When I’m done here, I’m meeting the Greeter. She gives great blowjobs and you give…well, THE WORST BLOWJOBS IN THE WORLD and, besides, this won’t take long,” and then Mike raised a POWER DRILL and then REVVED IT, and that’s when Veronica noticed, not a typical drill-bit at the tool’s end, but some weird cylindrical thing—

Veronica screamed and screamed and screamed—

««—»»

—and screamed some more as she awoke on the cold metal floor of the truck.

“Gawd dang!”

“It’s killin’ me, Paw!”

“There she up’n goes again!”

Rough hands shook her. “Veronnerka! What the hail’s wrong!”

When the nightmarish bloody-murder screaming finally wound down, Veronica came fully awake. Teeth chattering, she stared upward at the hovering faces of Helton, Dumar, and Micky-Mack, then burst into tears.

“Ain’t no reason fer waterworks!”

“What’s got’cha so upset?”

“Upset?” she yelled. “I just had the worst nightmare of my life! It’s this place! And-and-and…whatever it is you’re doing with that drill! It’s Christmas time and I’m handcuffed to a table in an old truck! This place is giving me nightmares! I should be with Mike, buying Christmas presents and sharing my life but instead”—she clacked her wrist against the table—“I’ve been abducted by three men who make me give them blowjobs and don’t wash!”

The three men looked despondently to one another.

“But, hon,” Helton began. “I’se tried ta ‘splain that this is the only way. We need ya. We cain’t do this without’cha.”

“Do what?” she spat. “Abduct women, and rape them and murder them and then film it?”

“We ain’t done nothin’ to no one who ain’t had it comin’, Veronnerka. If’n ya knowed ‘zackly what it is that Paulie done ta us…you’d understand.”

Veronica was about to rail again but before she could…

The cellphone rang. Not her cellphone…the other cellphone.

The men froze, their eyes shooting wide. Cumbersomely, then, Helton answered the annoying device, said, “Yeah?” listened, then hung up.

“Was that…,” Dumar began.

Helton nodded.

“Looks like you was right, Unc Helton,” Micky-Mack said. “Paulie done hit us again…”

“I’m afraid so.” Helton passed Veronica the laptop. “Veronnerka, all’s I ask is that ya help us just one more day, then I promise—I swear to God’n all that’s holy…we’ll let ya go.”

Half-numbed now in a combination of angst, rage, confusion, and despair, Veronica took the computer, went online, and downloaded the implied attachment.

Helton uncuffed her hand. “Stand on up, now’n come over here. I don’t feel right about this, but I guess the only way fer you ta understand is fer ya to see it yerself.”

Dumar looked alarmed. “Paw? You mean…yer gonna show Veronnerka one’a the movies Paulie made?”

“Yes, I am, son. Don’t want to, but I must. Now, I don’t ‘zackly know what it is Paulie just send us, but I do know it’ll be something bad, and when Veronnerka see just how bad it is I’m talkin’ ’bout…then she’ll understand why we’se are doin’ what we’se doin’…”

“Fine!”Veronica snapped. She arranged the laptop on the table as they all stood around to watch. She double-clicked the new file, the media player popped up, and then…

««—»»

On the screen we see a close-up of an old woman’s head. She is alive, blinking feebly but mustering an expression of scorn. The camera clearly sits on the ground, and in spite of harsh lights, we know it’s nighttime. Footsteps scuff. The most salient aspect of the scene?

The woman’s head sits on the ground, with only the tops of bony shoulders showing.

She’s been buried up to her neck.

“Who are ya?” she cracks.

Male laughter replies.

Off-screen, a voice in Jersey accent orders, “Cristo, we ain’t very good hosts, are we? Give the old bitch a drink.”

“Sure thing, boss,” and then two hands appear in the frame, pull open the old woman’s toothless mouth. A clear plastic tube is jammed in, then the hands slide the tube down her throat. It’s a urinary catheter tube.

The other end of the tube is connected to a plastic bag filled with discolored urine; the bag is displayed momentarily for camera’s sake, then rises off-screen. The scene holds on the woman’s flinching face as the tube fills with dark urine.

“Fill ‘er up,” announced a different Jersey accent.

We don’t have to see what’s happening, we simply know. The urine bag is being squeezed, displacing its contents into the old woman’s stomach.

“That’s it, that’s it. A nice cool drink…” but the voice pauses. “Hey, Doc? Why’s the old bitch’s piss so dark? Looks like fuckin’ tea.”

“More than likely a catastrophically high creatinine level, that or Hepatitis A. I suspect the former, however. Severe degradation of kidney function is common amongst sedentary senior citizens.”

“Fuck up kidneys, huh? How do you like that?”

Then—

ziiiiiiiiiiiiiip!

—the tubing is yanked out.

The old woman gags, wheezing. But when she recovers, she snaps another glare right into the camera. “What a bunch’s big men you all is—ha! Stealin’ a crippled old woman out a nursin’ home’n makin’ her drink her own pee. I know who you is. You’re the devil’s-dick-suckin’ evil varmits who up’n kill my great-grandson—a 9-year-old! Yeah, give yerselfs a pat on the back fer killin’ a little boy. Now…my son Helton—there’s a real man.”

“Oh, yeah, he sure is, ya old cunt,” the off-screen voice says. “He fucked my mother in the head—”

“Ha! God bless him!”

“—so we figured we’d do somethin’ worse to his mother. And that head-fuckin’ shit he does? That ain’t nothin’ compared to what we got in store for you.”

The old woman laughs. “Do your worst! See if I care one toodly! ’cos when my son get his hands on you, you’ll think you gots the wrath of GOD comin’ down on ya!”

Off-screen chuckles flitter like bats. More footsteps scuff. Then: “Cristo, lube her up, then get over here.”

“Right away, boss.”

The old woman makes a face when the hands reappear and spread margarine all over her head. We can see the tub: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER!

“What the hail is that fer, son?” she cracks, frowning.

“Let’s just say you’re gonna need it to try on your new hat.”

“New hat? Boy, what in tarnations you talkin ’bout?”

The hands slather the margarine heavy, then pull away. “You’ll see, grandma…”

We hear more off-screen talk. “Doc, you and Argi get on that side, Me and Cristo got this side.”

“Of…course, sir.”

“I’ve always liked this way the best. Who we do this to, Argi? It was up in Newark wasn’t it? Kline?”

“Naw, boss, I think it was Ringerman, you know? That runt we had runnin’ numbers for us.”

“Oh, yeah—Ringerman! That fuck. He had balls, didn’t he? Shit, that guy went way back to my grandfather’s time—”

“Vinch the Eye—”

“God rest his soul…”

“Shit, we had that guy on our payroll for decades, and then we find out he’d been stealin’ from us half that time.”

“Well, he got his.”

“Best part was makin’ his wife watch.”

“Yeah! That was sweet, wasn’t it?” A pause. “You ready, Melda?”

“I sure am, Paulie!” exclaimed a ludicrous woman’s voice.

“On the count of three. One…two…three!”

A salvo of grunts.

“Good, yeah, but—shit, Melda. No offense but you’ve gained some weight!”

“Well, I can’t help it, Paulie. Can’t walk, can’t do nothin’ but sit—er, sit, and smother people in my pussy and eat.”

Laughter.

A peculiar shadow hovers over the old woman’s head, then something indescribable seems to edge the top of the frame…

“Push that big pussy open now, huh, Melda?”

“It’s open, Paulie!”

“One…two…three…down!”

In a split second, the old woman’s head disappears as it is completely engulfed by a frame-filling morass of pallid flesh. A mammoth sack for a belly is observed, as well as a severely stretched wedge of pubic hair. Whatever it is, it has swallowed the entirety of the old woman’s head.

“Give it a few seconds.”

A few seconds tick by, then, “Now, boss?”

“Naw. A few more…”

“We don’t want her croakin’, do we?”

“All right, now. One, two, three—up!”

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-LUCK!

The morass is lifted off as though it has defied gravity to disgorge the woman’s head, which now looks like a perversely glistening wax mask, only semi-human. The head shudders, old gray hair slicked down. The eyelids struggle but eventually open.

“Great! She didn’t kick. Kind of thought she would, old as she is.”

“Proof of the resiliency of the human biological unit…”

The old woman’s face, quite surprisingly, laughs. “Ha! That all you silly boys can do? Just wait till my son Helton gets ya! He’n his kin’re gonna fuck all yer brains ta puddin’!”

“One, two, three—down!”

The horrific mass re-lowers, yet again engulfing the head.

“I’m tempted to just kill her now. I hate that old cunt.”

“Sure, boss, but that’s the reason we shouldn’t kill her.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Okay, guys! One, two, three—up!”

The head is re-exposed, looking a bit more weary than the first time.

The off-screen voice directs. “Back in the chair now”—grunting—“yeah, there. Cristo, get Melda back in the Winnie.”

“Right away, boss.”

“Thanks, Melda.”

“Oh, any time, Paulie! I love the feel of a head in my pussy!”

“She still alive, Doc?”

A manicured finger angles into the frame and touches the old woman’s slick throat. “Wait—wait, why…yes!”

“Perfect!”

The head lolls now, muck-shellacked and wheezing for breath, but eventually the old woman summons the last of her strength and looks right back at the camera. “Helton, my dear son! Don’t ya mind none what these Satan-worshipin’ bastards are a-doin’ ta me. I’se old and it’s way past my time, and I’se had me a wonnerful life. Just you take care, son, like I knows ya will! I knows you’ll git these fellas’n show ’em what fer! Hunt ’em down and fuck their evil heads like heads ain’t never been fucked b’fore! The Tuckton’s ain’t never lost a feud! Make the family proud like ya always done—” but then her speech is drowned out by the most shockingly vicious sound: not quite that of a chainsaw, not quite that of a lawn mower.

The frame seems to collapse as the Alpine stump-grinder lowers. It lowers slowly, ever so slowly, first just nicking the top of the woman’s skull, coming back up, then lowering some more. The screech of metal to bone is unmentionable. Blood, brain, and bone-bits fly like goulash out of a lidless blender.

Down and down, then, the stump-grinder lowers, and when it’s done it’s pulled away, leaving only a meaty neck-stump.

The motor-sound cuts off. Eery silence ensues.

“How you like them cookies, huh, Helton?” the off-screen voice inquires, and then comes a staccato of laughter…

««—»»

Veronica had collapsed even before the “film’s” finish. She lay now on the floor, in a shuddering fetal position. Helton, Dumar, and Micky-Mack, on the other hand, remained standing. Staring. Wide-eyed and tearing up. What they’d just witnessed on the computer screen—in spite of the presence of morning light—somehow turned the air smoke-dark.

No one spoke for quite some time.

Helton passed around a bottle of some citified liquor called AsomBroso 100% Blue Agave Tequila that he’d pinched from Marshie’s mansion. They each took hearty slugs.

“Paw?”Dumar was the first to speak. “Grandma Petunia was up’n the finest ole gal there ever was, and I—”

Helton severed the condolence with a wave of hand. “Ain’t no words necessary, boys. Our work’s cut out fer us…”

Tears ran freely down Micky-Mack’s face. “Unc Helton. We’se gotta get ’em back worse’n ever, we’se gotta—”

Helton’s silencing hand rose again. “Like I done tolt ya’s before, there is one rellertive’a Paulie’s not too far from here, not too far at all—”

Micky-Mack’s fist banged the table. “Then let’s go! Now!”

Helton’s face looked as dark as the air. “We’se’ll go, all right. But we gots ta wait till tonight. In the meantime, we needs ta go back ta that big store, that one calt the Home Depot…”

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