I stood on the hilltop and looked down at the house. There was shrubbery all about me, so I was not especially obtrusive.
I do not really know what I expected to see. A burned-out shell? A car in the driveway? A family scattered about the redwood patio furniture? Armed guards?
I saw that the roof could use some new slate, that the lawn had long ago returned to a natural condition. I was surprised that I could see only one broken window there in the rear.
So the place was supposed to look deserted. I wondered.
I spread my jacket on the ground and seated myself on it. I lit a cigarette. There were no other houses for quite a distance.
I had gotten close to seven hundred thousand dollars for the diamonds. It had taken me a week and a half to make the deal. From Antwerp we had traveled to Brussels, spending several evenings at a club on the Rue de Char et Pain before the man I wanted found me.
Arthur was quite puzzled by the arrangement. A slight, white-haired man with a neat mustache, ex-RAF officer, Oxonian, he had begun shaking his head after the first two minutes and kept interrupting me with questions about delivery. While he was no Sir Basil Zaharoff, he became genuinely concerned when a client’s ideas sounded too half-baked. It troubled him if something went sour too soon after delivery. He seemed to think it reflected back on him in some way. For this reason, he was often more helpful than the others when it came to shipment. He was concerned about my plans for transportation because I did not seem to have any.
What one generally requires in an arrangement of this sort is an end-use certificate. What it is, basically, is a document affirming that country X has ordered the weapons in question. You need the thing in order to get an export permit from the manufacturer’s country. This keeps them looking honest, even if the shipment should be reconsigned to country Y once it has crossed their border. The customary thing to do is to buy the assistance of an ambassadorial representative of country X — preferably one with relatives or friends connected with the Defense Department back home — in order to get the papers. They come high, and I believe Arthur had a list of all the going rates in his head.
“But how are you going to ship them?” he had kept asking. “How will you get them where you want them?”
“That,” I said, “will be my problem. Let me worry about it.” But he kept shaking his head.
“It is no good trying to cut corners that way, Colonel,” he said. (I had been a colonel to him since we had first met, some dozen years before. Why, I am not certain.) “No good at all. Try to save a few dollars that way and you might lose the whole shipment and wind up in real trouble. Now I can fix you up through one of these young African nations quite reasonably —”
“No. Just fix me up with the weapons.”
During our talk, Ganelon just sat there drinking beer, as red-bearded and sinister-looking as ever, and nodding to everything that I said. As he spoke no English, he had no idea as to the state of negotiations. Nor, for that matter, did he really care. He followed my instructions, though, and spoke to me periodically in Thari and we would chat briefly in that language about nothing in particular. Sheer perversity. Poor old Arthur was a good linguist and he wanted to know the destination of the pieces. I could feel him straining to identify the language each time that we spoke. Finally, he began nodding as though he had.
After some more discussion, he stuck his neck out and said, “I read the newspapers. I am certain his crowd can afford the insurance.” That was almost worth the price of admission to me.
But, “No,” I said. “Believe me, when I take possession of those automatic rifles, they are going to vanish off the face of the Earth.”
“Neat trick, that,” he said, “considering I don’t even know where we will be picking them up yet.”
“It does not matter.”
“Confidence is a fine thing. Then there is foolhardiness…” He shrugged. “Have it as you say then — your problem.”
Then I told him about the ammo and he must have been convinced as to my mental deterioration. He just stared at me for a long while, not even shaking his head this time. It was a good ten minutes before I could even get him to look at the specifications. It was then that he began shaking his head and mumbling about silver bullets and inert primers.
The ultimate arbiter, cash, convinced him we would do it my way, however. There was no trouble on the rifles or the trucks, but persuading an arms factory to produce my ammo was going to be expensive, he told me. He was not even certain he could find one that would be willing. When I told him that the cost was no object, it seemed to upset him even more. If I could afford to indulge in weird, experimental ammo, an end-use certificate would not come to that much — No. I told him no. My way, I reminded him.
He sighed and tugged at the fringe of his mustache. Then he nodded. Very well, we would do it my way.
He overcharged me, of course. Since I was rational in all other matters, the alternative to psychosis would be that I was party to an expensive boondoggle. While the ramifications must have intrigued him, he apparently decided not to look too far into such a sticky-seeming enterprise. He was willing to seize every opportunity I extended for dissociating himself from the project. Once he found the ammo people — a Swiss outfit as it turned out — he was quite willing to put me into contact with them and wash his hands of everything but the money.
Ganelon and I went to Switzerland on fake papers. He was a German and I was Portuguese. I did not especially care what my papers showed, so long as the forgery was of good quality, but I had settled on German as the best language for Ganelon to learn, since he had to learn one and German tourists have always seemed to be all over the place. He picked it up quite rapidly. I had told him to tell any real Germans and any Swiss who asked that he had been raised in Finland.
We spent three weeks in Switzerland before I was satisfied with the quality controls on my ammo. As I had suspected, the stuff was totally inert in this shadow. I had worked out the formula, though, which was all that really mattered at that point. The silver came high, of course. Perhaps I was being over-cautious. Still, there are some things about Amber that are best dispatched with that metal, and I could afford it. For that matter, what better bullet — short of gold — for a king? Should I wind up shooting Eric, there would be no lese-majeste involved. Indulge me, brothers.
Then I left Ganelon to shift for himself for a time, since he had thrown himself into his tourist role in a true Stanislavskian fashion. I saw him off to Italy, camera about his neck and a faraway look in his eyes, and I flew back to the States.
Back? Yes. That run-down place on the hillside below me had been my home for the better part of a decade. I had been heading toward it when I was forced off the road and into the accident which led to everything which has since occurred.
I drew on my cigarette and regarded the place. It had not been run-down then. I had always kept it in good shape. The place had been completely paid for. Six rooms and an attached two-car garage. Around seven acres. The whole hillside, actually. I had lived there alone most of the time. I had liked it. I had spent much of my time in the den and in my workshop. I wondered whether the Mori woodcut still hung in my study. Face to Face it was called, and it depicted two warriors in mortal combat. It would be nice to have it back. It would be gone, though, I felt. Probably everything that had not been stolen had been sold for back taxes. I imagined that was what the State of New York would do. I was surprised that the house itself seemed not to have acquired new occupants. I kept watching, to make certain. Hell, I was in no hurry. There was no place else I had to be.
I had contacted Gerard shortly after my arrival in Belgium. I had decided against trying to talk with Benedict for the time being. I was afraid that he would simply try to attack me, one way or the other, if I did.
Gerard had studied me quite carefully. He was out somewhere in open country and he seemed to be alone. “Corwin?” he had said, then, “Yes…”
“Right. What happened with Benedict?”
“I found him as you said he would be and I released him. He was set to pursue you once again, but I was able to persuade him that a considerable time had passed since I had seen you. Since you said you had left him unconscious, I figured that was the best line to take. Also, his horse was very tired. We went back to Avalon together. I remained with him through the funerals, then borrowed a horse. I am on my way back to Amber now.”
“Funerals? What funerals?”
Again, that calculating look.
“You really do not know?” he said.
“If I knew, damn it, I would not ask!”
“His servants. They were murdered. He says you did it.”
“No,” I said. “No. That is ridiculous. Why should I want to murder his servants? I do not understand…”
“It was not long after his return that he went looking for them, as they were not on hand to welcome him. He found them murdered and you and your companion gone.”
“Now I see how it looked,” I said. “Where were the bodies?”
“Buried, but not too deeply, in the little wood behind the garden to the rear of the house.”
Just so, just so… Better not to mention I had known about the grave.
“But what possible reason does he think I could have for doing such a thing?” I protested.
“He is puzzled, Corwin. Very puzzled, now. He could not understand why you did not kill him when you had the chance, and why you sent for me when you could have just left him there.”
“I see now why he kept calling me a murderer as we fought, but — Did you tell him what I said about not having slain anyone?”
“Yes. At first he shrugged it off as a self-serving statement. I told him you sounded sincere, and very puzzled yourself. I believe it bothered him a bit that you should be so insistent. He asked me several times whether I believed you.”
“Do you?”
He dropped his eyes.
“Damn it, Corwin! What am I supposed to believe? I came into the middle of this. We have been apart for so long…”
He met my gaze.
“There is more to it,” he said.
“What is that?”
“Why did you call me to help him? That was a complete deck you took. You could have called any of us.”
“You must be joking,” I said.
“No, I want an answer.”
“Very well. You are the only other one I trust.”
“Is that all?”
“No. Benedict does not want his whereabouts known back in Amber. You and Julian are the only two I know for certain to be aware of his location. I don’t like Julian, I don’t trust him. So I called you.”
“How did you know that Julian and I knew about him?”
“He helped you both out when you ran into trouble on the black road awhile back, and he put you up while you recuperated. Dara told me about it.”
“Dara? Who is this Dara anyway?”
“The orphaned daughter of a couple who once worked for Benedict,” I said. “She was around when you and Julian were there.”
“And you sent her a bracelet. You also mentioned her to me by the road, back when you summoned me.”
“Correct. What is the matter?”
“Nothing. I do not really remember her, though. Tell me, why did you leave so suddenly? You have to admit, it seemed the act of a guilty man.”
“Yes,” I said, “I was guilty — but not of murder. I went to Avalon to obtain something that I wanted, I got it, and I cleared out. You saw that wagon, and you saw that I had a cargo in it. I got out before he returned to keep from answering questions Benedict might ask me about it. Hell! If I just wanted to run, I wouldn’t go dragging a wagon along behind me! I’d have traveled on horseback, fast and light.”
“What was in the wagon?”
“No,” I said. “I did not want to tell Benedict and I do not want to tell you. Oh, he can find out, I suppose. But let him do it the hard way, if he must. It is immaterial, though. The fact I went there for something and really obtained it should be sufficient. It is not especially valuable there, but is in another place. Fair enough?”
“Yes,” he said. “It does make a kind of sense.”
“Then answer my question. Do you think I murdered them?”
“No,” he said. “I believe you.”
“What about Benedict, now? What does he think?”
“He would not attack you again without talking first. There is doubt in his mind, I know that.”
“Good. That’s something, anyway. Thank you, Gerard. I am going away now.” I moved to break the contact.
“Wait, Corwin! Wait!”
“What is it?”
“How did you cut the black road? You destroyed a section of it at the place you crossed over. How did you do it?”
“The Pattern,” I said. “If you ever get in trouble with that thing, hit it with the Pattern. You know how you have to sometimes hold it in your mind if shadows begin to run away from you and things start going wild?”
“Yes. I tried that and it didn’t work. All I got was a headache. It is not of Shadow.”
“Yes and no,” I said. “I know what it is. You did not try hard enough. I used the Pattern until my head felt as if it were being torn apart, until I was half blind from the pain and about ready to pass out. Then the road came apart about me instead. It was no fun, but it did work.”
“I will remember,” he said. “Are you going to talk to Benedict now?”
“No,” I said. “He already has everything we’ve gone over. Now that he is cooling off, he will begin pushing the facts around some more. I would just as soon he do it on his own — and I do not want to risk another fight. When I close this time I will be silent for a long while. I will resist all efforts to communicate with me, also.”
“What of Amber, Corwin? What of Amber?”
I dropped my eyes.
“Don’t get in my way when I come back, Gerard. Believe me, it will be no contest.”
“Corwin… Wait. I’d like to ask you to reconsider. Do not hit Amber now. She is weak in all the wrong ways.”
“I am sorry, Gerard. But I am certain I have given the matter more thought during the past five years than all the rest of you put together.”
“I am sorry, too, then.”
“I guess I had better be going now.”
He nodded.
“Good-by, Corwin.”
“Good-by, Gerard.”
After waiting several hours for the sun to disappear behind the hill, leaving the house in a premature twilight, I mashed a final cigarette, shook out my jacket and donned it, rose to my feet. There had been no signs of life about the place, no movement behind the dirty windows, the broken window. Slowly, I descended the hill.
Flora’s place out in Westchester had been sold some years before, which came as no surprise to me. I had checked merely as a matter of curiosity, since I was back in town. Had even driven past the place once. There was no reason for her to remain on this shadow Earth. Her long wardenshsip having ended successfully, she was being rewarded in Amber the last time I had seen her. To have been so near for as long as I had without even realizing her presence was a thing I found somewhat galling.
I had debated contacting Random, decided against it. The only way he could possibly benefit me would be with information as to current affairs in Amber. While this would be nice to have, it was not absolutely essential. I was fairly certain that I could trust him. After all, he had been of some assistance to me in the past. Admitted, it was hardly altruism — but still, he had gone a bit further than he had had to. It was five years ago, though, and a lot had happened since. He was being tolerated around Amber again, and he had a wife now. He might be eager to gain a little standing. I just did not know. But weighing the possible benefits against the possible losses, I thought it better to wait and see him personally the next time I was in town.
I had kept my word and resisted all attempts to make contact with me. They had come almost daily during my first two weeks back on the shadow Earth. Several weeks had passed, though, and I had not been troubled since. Why should I give anyone a free shot at my thinking machinery? No thanks, brothers.
I advanced upon the rear of the house, sidled up to a window, wiped it with my elbow. I had been watching the place for three days, and it struck me as very unlikely that anyone was inside. Still… I peered in.
It was a mess, of course, and a lot of my stuff was missing. But some of it was still there. I moved to my right and tried the door. Locked. I chuckled.
I walked around to the patio. Ninth brick in, fourth brick up. The key was still beneath it. I wiped it on my jacket as I walked back. I let myself in.
There was dust on everything, but it had been disturbed in some places. There were coffee containers, sandwich wrappers, and the remains of a petrified hamburger in the fireplace. A lot of weather had found its way down that chimney in my absence. I crossed over and closed the damper.
I saw that the front door had been broken about the lock. I tried it. It seemed to be nailed shut. There was an obscenity scrawled on the wall in the foyer. I walked on into the kitchen. It was a total mess. Anything that had survived plunder was on the floor. The stove and the refrigerator were gone, the floor scarred where they had been pushed along.
I backed away, went and checked my workshop. Yes, it had been stripped. Completely. Passing on, I was surprised to find my bed, still unmade, and two expensive chairs all intact in my bedroom.
My study was a more pleasant surprise. The big desk was covered with the litter and muss, but then it always had been. Lighting a cigarette, I went and sat behind it. I guess it was just too heavy and bulky for anyone to make off with. My books were all on their shelves. Nobody steals books but your friends. And there —
I could not believe it. I got to my feet again and crossed the room to stare at close range.
Yoshitoshi Mori’s beautiful woodcut hung right where it had always been, clean, stark, elegant, violent. To think that no one had made off with one of my most prized possessions…
Clean?
I scrutinized it. I ran my finger along the frame.
Too clean. It bore none of the dust and grit which covered everything else in the house.
I checked it for trip wires, found none, removed it from its hook, lowered it.
No, the wall was no lighter behind it. It matched the rest of the wall perfectly.
I put Mori’s work on the window seat and returned to my desk. I was troubled, as someone doubtless intended me to be. Someone had obviously removed it and taken good care of it — a thing for which I was not ungrateful — and then only just recently restored it. It was as if my return had been anticipated.
Which should be adequate reason for immediate flight, I suppose. But that was silly. If it was part of some trap, it had already been sprung. I jerked the automatic from my jacket pocket and tucked it behind my belt. I had not even known that I would be coming back myself. It was just something I had decided to do since I had had some time on my hands. I was not even certain as to why I had wanted to see the place again.
So this was some sort of contingency arrangement. If I should come by the old homestead, it might be to obtain the only thing in the place worth having. So preserve it and display it so that I will have to take notice. All right, I had. I had not been attacked yet, so it did not seem a trap. What then? A message. Some sort of a message. What? How? And who?
The safest place in the house, had it remained unravaged, should still be the safe. It was not beyond any of my siblings’ skill. I moved to the rear wall, pressed the panel loose, and swung it out. I spun the dial through its combination, stepped back, opened the door with my old swagger stick. No explosion. Good. Not that I had expected any.
There had been nothing of any great value inside — a few hundred dollars in cash, some bonds, receipts, correspondence.
An envelope. A fresh, white envelope lay in plain sight. I did not remember it.
My name upon it, written in an elegant hand. Not with ballpoint either. It contained a letter and a card.
Brother Corwin,
the letter said,
If you are reading this, then we still think enough alike for me to be able to anticipate you somewhat. I thank you for the loan of the woodcut — one of two possible reasons, as I see it, for your returning to this squalid shadow. I am loathe to relinquish it, as our tastes are also somewhat akin and it has graced my chambers for several years now. There is something to the subject that strikes a familiar chord. Its return is to be taken as evidence of my good will and a bid for your attention. In that I must be honest with you if I am to stand a chance of convincing you of anything, I will not apologize for what has been done. My only regret, actually, is that I did not kill you when I should have. Vanity it was, that played me for a fool. While time may have healed your eyes, I doubt it will ever significantly alter our feelings for one another. Your letter — “I’ll be back” — lies upon my writing table at this moment. Had I written it, I know that I would be back. Some things being equal between us, I anticipate your return, and not without somewhat of apprehension. Knowing you for no fool, I contemplate your arriving in force. And here is where past vanity is paid of present pride. I would have peace between us, Corwin, for the sake of the realm, not my own. Strong forces out of Shadow have come to beset Amber regularly, and I do not fully understand their nature. Against these forces, the most formidable in my memory ever to assail Amber, the family has united behind me. I would like to have your support in this struggle. Failing that, I request that you forbear invading me for a time. If you elect to assist, I will require no homage of you, simply acknowledgment of my leadership for the duration of the crisis. You will be accorded your normal honors. It is important that you contact me to see the truth of what I say. As I have failed to reach you by means of your Trump, I enclose my own for your use. While the possibility that I am lying to you is foremost in your mind, I give you my word that I am not.
I reread it and chuckled. What did he think curses were for, anyway?
No good, my brother. It was kind of you to think of me in your moment of need — and I believe you, never doubt it, for we are all of us honorable men — but our meeting will come according to my schedule, not yours. As for Amber, I am not unmindful of her needs, and I will deal with them in my own time and fashion. You make the mistake, Eric, of considering yourself necessary. The graveyards are filled with men who thought they could not be replaced. I will wait though, to tell you this, face to face.
I tucked his letter and the Trump in my jacket pocket. I killed my cigarette in the dirty ashtray on my desk. Then I fetched some linen from the bedroom to wrap my combatants. They would wait for me in a safer place, this time.
As I passed through the house once again, I wondered why I had come back, really. I thought of some of the people I had known when I had lived there, and wondered whether they ever thought of me, whether they wondered what had become of me. I would never know, of course.
Night had begun and the sky was clear and its first stars bright as I stepped outside and locked the door behind me. I went around to the side and returned the key to its place beneath the patio. Then I mounted the hill.
When I looked back from the top, the house seemed to have shrunken there in the darkness, to have become a piece of the desolation, like an empty beer can tossed beside the road. I crossed over and down, heading across a field toward the place where I had parked, wishing I had not looked back.