Gunnar's Game

Chapter Six

An hour later, Gunnar, Jules, and Jesse waited in the conference room the team hated to use. None of them looked that thrilled to see her.

“Ah, I thought it was just going to be you and me,” Ava said to Gunnar as she took a seat across from the three of them.

He shot her a glare but refused to answer.

One step forward, two steps back. So much for giving her mate one hell of an orgasm to soften him up. The irony in her words wasn't lost on her, and she chuckled at the thought of Gunnar ever around her without a semierection. If that happens, I’m losing my touch.

His glare made her feel worlds better.

“So what's this about Grayson in trouble?” Jules asked, his deep voice soothing. She loved that about him. No matter the situation, Jules always kept it together. Even when his mate had been in danger, when Ava had appeared to be held in the arms of their enemy, or even when he'd learned about Jack and Melissa's treachery, he'd maintained that cool front.

Gunnar should take a lesson or two.

“Amen,” Jesse sent her with a cough to hide his grin. “You’re projecting, honey.

Just so you know.”

Ever since she'd revealed her Circ nature, she'd loosened up her defenses around the team. But it wouldn't do to give too much away. She clamped down on her inner shields, holding Jesse out without effort. Only when she dwelled too much on Gunnar did she lose her focus on keeping herself together. Lately, she couldn't think of anything but him. Especially now that she'd had a taste of what he'd be like in bed.

Gunnar squirmed in his chair. “Explain, woman. While we're young.” The husky throb of his voice told her he could scent her arousal, and the amusement on the others' faces didn't need explaining.

Ava flushed, wishing she could go back under that tight band of sexual numbness she'd forced herself to behave under this past year. But ever since letting her beast out of her cage, she'd lost her ability to remain unaffected. Hell, she wanted her mate with her every breath. And now that she didn't have to hide it any longer, she didn't want to pretend, no matter how embarrassing it might be.

“My brother is in a shit sandwich. He's been compromised, and no, I don't think by Lonnie.”

Jules sighed. “I told Mrs. Sharpe not to say anything about 'Lonnie' until I looked into it. But she wouldn't listen.”

“How did you know?” Gunnar asked.

“When we interrogated Raul LaGarda—before you killed him—LaGarda referred to Melissa's boss as Lonnie. I overheard Mrs. S. and the admiral a few times, and that's what she called him when she thought she was alone.”

“I never heard that.” Jesse frowned. “She's pretty closemouthed and close-minded around me, though. I never catch a glimpse of what she's thinking.”

“And you'd never hear me if it wasn't for my current distraction,” Ava grumbled, glaring from Jesse to Gunnar. She refused to ignore the obvious anymore. No more tiptoeing around her mate. She'd go balls-out taking him down, and if she had to use his friends to help her do it, she would.

“Yeah, well,” Jesse murmured, not looking at Gunnar's fierce scowl. “I've thought hard about this. I don't care what she called him or what she thinks she saw. The admiral's not guilty.”

“You don't know that,” Gunnar growled. “Just because you like the prick doesn't mean he's not against us.”

“Nice mouth.” Ava shook her head.

“Didn't hear you complaining earlier,” he muttered.

Her cheeks heated, but she ignored him. “Lonnie isn't a common name. I don't know anyone she works with that fits that name. And no one who's familiar with the Circs in DC goes by Lonnie either. It's too much of a coincidence to think our enemy randomly chose 'Lonnie' as an alias. Someone's setting him up. They want us to mistrust him.”

Fallon shrugged. “Maybe so, but I can tell you Raul was telling the complete truth when he confessed to us in the woods. Dude wasn't lying. Panicked and close to death, people normally can't think straight enough to hold a lie in their heads.

And LaGarda was no rocket scientist.”

Ava blew out a tired breath. “Right. So we need to talk to Lonnie. More, we need to find Grayson. I've been going over what he said in my head, and I think the admiral's the key.”

“So he is guilty. He not only fucked us over royally, but now he has your brother.” Gunnar had a one-track mind sometimes.

“No,” Ava answered with patience. “I combed through Grayson's garbled message, and he's frantic that we find Jack Keiser. The admiral will be able to tell us where Jack is. And once we have Jack, we can find Grayson.”

“How the hell does the admiral know where Keiser is? The asshole's been on the run for two weeks. No one's seen a hint of him anywhere. Even Morgan's contacts have struck out.”

“And the psychics won't rat out their own,” Gunnar added in a huff. “None of the bastards around here have any idea where he is. Like I believe that.”

“Trust me. Admiral London can help us with Jack.”

Jules stirred. “And why is that, Ava? What do you know that you aren't telling us?”

The others quieted. The attention directed on her felt uncomfortable, smothering.

Should she tell them the truth or cushion the blow?

“Ava, dammit. Spill.” Gunnar flashed his fangs at her. He wasn't a happy camper.

“Jack Keiser is working for the admiral.”

Even to her own ears that sounded bad.

“Oh, come on, guys. That doesn't mean Lonnie's a traitor!”

“The hell it doesn't.” Gunnar muttered a few more choice words under his breath for the admiral.

“Seriously.” Ava leaned forward, pleading with at least Jules to believe her.

“Grayson showed me a few images of Jack meeting with Lonnie in secret. But the information passed between them implicated someone else. There was real worry on Lonnie's part to take care of us. Not take care of us as in kill us,” she snapped at Gunnar, reading his suspicions. She turned back to the others. “Look, this is about Grandma right now. Why do you think Grayson didn't try to send her his message?

He's worried about her. She's the one we really need to protect.” Ava tried to use compassion to aid her cause. “She's vulnerable. She loves Lonnie. And he loves her.

They've been together for years.”

Jesse flushed. “That's true. The, ah, vision I saw when I first met Mrs. Sharpe was of the pair of them from a long time ago. And they were really friendly. Naked friendly.”

Gunnar grimaced. “Shit, man. Did that need to be said out loud?”

“The point is, Grandma isn't looking at anything with clarity right now. She needs us to be her eyes and ears. We need to intercept Lonnie before he arrives the day after tomorrow and without her knowing. We need to handle him. Not Alicia.”

Ava looked to Jules. “Trust me, when she goes postal, there's no one that can stop her. Not even Gunnar.”

Gunnar finally looked interested. “So what's she like when she changes? Does she look like you?”

Jesse added, “And just what can she do? Predict the future? Read minds, emotions? She seems to know a lot about stuff. Then she has gaps in other things that could really help us.”

Ava wanted to tell them but didn't want to violate her grandmother's confidence.

Jules said nothing. He simply waited for her to talk.

“You want answers? Fine. Help me deal with Lonnie. Hell, if you still don't believe him after he explains himself, I'll serve him to you on a silver platter.”

“First intelligent thing you've said all day,” Gunnar said with a smile.

“Jerk.”

“Witch.”

“Kids, can the love talk,” Jesse cut in. “I'm all for getting to the bottom of this.

And I'd love to talk to Jack again, face-to-face.” The dark grin he shot her gave her beast chills.

Though Jesse came across as charming and fairly civilized, he wouldn't tolerate a threat to his team.

“I'm in, but only because I want to know what the hell Mrs. Sharpe has been hiding.” Jules regarded Ava with a half smile. “You know, you and your grandmother are a lot more alike than I first thought.”

“Thanks,” she grumbled.

“Blackmail, threats, bits of information you dangle like a carrot. Oh yeah, you're definitely related.” Jules snorted and stood. “Fallon, let's go say good-bye to our mates. Tersch, you have your orders.”

Gunnar opened his mouth, but Jules glared him into silence. “No questions, no arguments. Just fucking do it.”

“Hell.” Gunnar grumbled and sank lower in his seat, defeated.

“I guess that's as close to 'aye-aye' as I'm gonna get.” Jules kissed Ava's forehead before heading out. “Keep an eye on him, honey. He gets surly when he hasn't bitten anyone in a while.”

Jesse snickered.

“Laugh it up, pretty boy,” Gunnar snapped at him. “I'd love nothing more right now than to bite your sorry ass.”

“Bye, guys.” Ava pushed Jesse out the door before he could screw with Gunnar.

She turned to face her mate and waited. When he said nothing, she asked, “Well?

What were your orders?”

“To babysit you. Happy you asked?”

“Oh yeah, I'm just thrilled to be paired with a hulking, sulking Circ with an attitude problem. Thank you, Jules.” Yes! Finally, an excuse for him to stick by me.

Gunnar can’t ignore me now. Still, she didn't want to appear grateful. Gunnar seemed to like her best when he thought he was getting on her nerves. Probably because he felt safer that way, more distant.

Gunnar grinned. So handsome, so incredibly male. Her beast sighed at the sight of him. “Well now, Ava. What would you like to do first?”

“You mean besides wipe that shit-eating grin off your face?” And ride you so hard, you can’t breathe without thinking of me? She cleared her throat. “Let's go for a walk. I need the fresh air.”

“Thank God. One more minute around all this damn drama, and I was going to shoot myself.”

“Not if I shoot you first.”

He laughed again and followed her out of the conference room To Tersch's surprise, he enjoyed walking with Ava in the woods. Behind the mansion, off the large stone patio, they walked along a running trail through the forest. Several feet wide and equipped with lights, the trail had mile markers until it came to a complete end at a ten-mile turnaround. He normally hauled ass out here, racing one or more of the guys while in shorts and running shoes. When he changed into his beast, he liked to venture into the woods, away from manmade paths.

Ava tucked her small hand in the crook of his elbow. “This is nice, hmm?” Too nice. He cleared his throat but didn't pull away from her. The heat from her palm warmed him from the inside out. Though Ava didn't show off her power, he could feel it any time they touched.

“Yeah, nice. So are you going to tell me about Grayson? Why he was here pretending he didn't know you? You ready to give up your secrets yet, baby?” His low voice grew even huskier when she stroked his forearm. He glanced down at her, but she kept her gaze ahead of them, unconsciously petting him.

“I can't tell you all my secrets. Then I'd be too easy to handle.”

“Ava, I could know everything about you and still find you hard to handle.” She grinned.

“What the hell do you have to hide, anyway?”

“I'll answer a question for a question. My answers for yours.” He should have known better than to try to dig into her past, but he really wanted to know. Maybe he could substitute knowledge for sex. He could own her secrets if not her body. “Sure, whatever.”

“But you can't lie. I'll know if you lie.” Her eyes narrowed.

“So you do read minds.”

“No, but you have tells. There are things you do with your body and expressions you make that give you away.”

“No shit?” He stopped them and turned to look down at her. “You're kidding, right?”

Her smug grin should have annoyed him. Instead he found her arrogance charming. Man, he had it bad.

“I know a heck of a lot about you, Gunnar.” She put her arm on his and guided them back on their walk. “But there's more I want to know. Go ahead and ask me anything.”

“Why the subterfuge with Grayson?”

She sighed. “I knew you'd ask that. First of all, I don't know everything my brother does. He's worked a lot of classified missions over the years.” Tersch frowned. “He's DoD?”

“Department of Defense? I guess you could say that. Grayson doesn't technically work for any organization in the government. He's a floater, and he's referred by name.”

“A contractor.”

“He likes to think of himself as a mercenary with pull.” Ava shrugged. “I've helped him a time or two.”

“Oh?” The innocent look on her face didn't fool him, because he was coming to realize Ava had a lot more going on under the surface than he'd expected.

“I don't have a ton of field experience, but my abilities make it easy to get in and out of tight spots without being noticed.”

He thought of her speed. “I'll bet.” He opened his mouth for another question when he inhaled a waft of her scent. Sexy, arousing, and dangerous. Tersch coughed and tried to focus on not screwing her. “So I get your brother being an undercover guy. But why with us? We're Circ. We'd understand.”

“Because he didn't trust everyone at the mansion. And I don't mean Grandma.

He's known for some time that there are powerful people out to get you guys. Think of him as another line of defense. He's been running interference for a while.

Grayson worked with Raul when the pair were at Montaña's compound in the Amazon.”

“He did?”

“Yeah. He didn't tell me much about it until I saw him a few weeks ago. But he helped Sheridan escape and protected her from Raul. Raul was not a nice guy.” He curled his fist against his side. “I know.”

“Oh, that's right. You broke his neck.” She said it as if she'd been talking about snapping a twig.

“That doesn't bother you?”

“Nope. I have a much different view of the world than most people. Where I come from, we respect the elderly, protect the innocent, and fight against injustice.

There's not a lot of forgiveness in my family for wrongdoing.” He wondered what she'd think if she knew he'd killed his own father.

She clutched his arm tighter. “Why are you so afraid to be with me?” Trust Ava to cut right to the heart of the matter.

“I'm not afraid, exactly…”

“Bullshit. You're scared of me.” She paused. “Is it because I was born Circ?” The flatness of the question made him look at her closer. To his shock, Ava seemed vulnerable. He didn't like it, so he did what he did best. He set out to annoy her into a good mad.

“No. It's because you're black.”

“What?”

“I don't like black women. And you know, I'm not that into women, come to think of it. I'm much more into cock.”

She blinked at him with her mouth open.

“Nothing like taking it up the ass. Tits and pussies are for morons.”

“You… That's… I…”

He snorted. “Yeah, that's stupid, isn't it? As stupid as me not wanting you because you were born this way—strong, sexy, and lethal. Or because your skin is so pretty and brown, or that you have the nicest breasts and most fuckable ass I've ever seen.” Just thinking about everything Ava made him hard an aching. “And what moron prefers dick to womanly curves?” He rethought the question. “With the exception of Hayashi, gay men don't know what they're missing. Of course, that's probably because no one compares to you.”

They continued walking in silence while they both absorbed what he'd said.

“Do you realize that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me?” Ava's soft voice wrapped around his heart and squeezed. “Why can't we be together, Gunnar?” He couldn't look at her, because she'd see the longing in his eyes. “I…” Tell her.

Tell her the truth. You’ve been feeling it since day one. At least let her know why there can never be an “us” in our future. “Ava, I care for you. A lot.” She stopped them and turned him to face her. The glowing green of her eyes hinted at the deep emotion she must be feeling, but her face remained blank.

He repeated himself. “I care for you more than makes sense. I'm not an easy man.”

“I know that.”

“No, you don't. You think you do. You know what I can do to my enemies, but you've never seen what I can do to someone I love.” And God, if he ever damaged Ava, he'd kill himself. He'd barely survived after Susanna's and Sophie's deaths, and he felt so much more for Ava. A man's love, not a teenager's infatuation.

“You would never hurt me.” She reached out to him, her eyes now brown and soft. And so loving.

He stepped back. “I wouldn't try to hurt you, but I could. Too easily.” He sighed, wishing this conversation over. “Ava, I'm attracted, no doubt. But it's more than that.”

She frowned at him. “You slept with Olivia and Sheridan. And they're a lot weaker than I am. Yet you never hurt them.”

He flushed. “You, ah, knew about them?” Of course she knew.

“Yes. I know you still struggle through mating heats.” She tried to play it off, but he could see the glow of anger in her eyes. “I wasn't available for you, so you turned to them. And I understand that you need the team in that way. The guys don't bother me at all. I told you I'm different from most people you know.”

“I was only with Olivia and Sheridan in the presence of their mates,” he tried to explain. “And with them it was nice.”

“I'm nice.”

“No, you're not.” He burned for her. “You're pissy, arrogant, and mean.”

“Gunnar.”

“Please. You know it's true. Why the hell do you think I walk around with a hard-on every time you're near? Why do you think it's so fucking difficult for me to stay away from you? You're bitchy, gorgeous, and hardheaded. You don't take my shit or cry because I hurt your feelings when I say something stupid. You’re mine,” his beast had to add, just to be heard.

“So then what's the problem?” She cocked her hip and leaned a hand on it, showing her annoyance. “You think I can't handle your beast? Honey, you're strong, but you have nothing on what I can really do.”

“Ava, I want you. My beast wants you. But my berserker, it wants to dominate you, real bad. I get angry a lot, and it's hard to control myself on a good day. But around you, I have a hard time keeping it together. I'm afraid I could seriously hurt you, honey. And I could never live with myself if that happened.” She studied him with an odd look. “You think I'm buying this?”

“Why would I lie?” Frustrating woman. He was trying to be honest, to be up-front and put his cards on the table.

“Because you're scared. Scared of making a commitment, scared of having someone to love and toe the line for. You like playing too much.”

“Dammit, that's not true.” He clenched his fists. She made him sound like some selfish playboy. Didn't she realize how difficult this was for him? How much he wanted her but denied himself for her benefit?

“Sure it is. I read your files, Gunnar.” She smiled, showing sharp white fangs.

“I know all about your time in the navy. I've read detailed accounts from your old captain and from the doctors who treated you in Pearson Labs, back when the Dawn Endeavor program was brand new.

“A different woman every night, sometimes two at a time. You liked to play around, and you liked your sex a bit rough.” She shrugged. “So do I, but you don't see me trying to avoid how I feel for you because I want to play the field.”

“You're missing the point.” He forced himself to remain calm. Like hell she'd play the field. “That was years ago. I don't want anyone else. Shit. I don't want any other female Circ but you.”

The canny woman was now grinning at him. She liked him wanting her and hurting because of it?

“Ava, I never hurt Olivia or Sheridan, because I didn't love them. I like them, I respect them and their mates, and I'll treasure the softness they gave me when I needed it. But with you, I can't be gentle. Or safe.” He swallowed hard, seeing Susanna in his mind's eye. “I can't protect you from me.” Ava changed in an instant and launched herself at him. She knocked him to the ground and straddled his abdomen, her tiny hand around his throat and cutting off his air supply.

He stared at Ava who wasn't quite Ava. A shimmer of her beast lingered over her human form, like a shadow of animalistic rage over the beautiful woman underneath. This Ava had fangs and claws and unbelievable strength. She hadn't grown much, yet her strength was that of a Circ much, much larger.

“I don't need your fucking protection.” She spat the word like a curse. “I'm stronger and faster than you'll ever be. Your hesitance makes me question why I thought to consider you worthy of mating with me. You act like you're scared of your own shadow.”

She insulted his manhood. His beast didn't like the challenge. But it was his berserker that he worried about. The monster wouldn't tolerate its mate's rejection.

Just what Tersch had been trying to avoid.

He struggled against letting her see what she should be so scared of and rasped, “Ava, shit. Let me up and back away.”

“I've seen your berserker before.” She huffed and loosened her hold on his throat. “I'm not impressed.”

“Don't do this. Don't do this,” he chanted, holding on even as his beast broke through his constraints as well as his clothes. His shirt split; his toes cut through his sneakers and socks. His trousers burst at the button and seams. And still, he grew.

His skin turned a darker shade to reflect the monster that lived within, and his sight became infused with a tinge of red as his infrared heat vision engaged to better illuminate nearby prey.

“Ava, please. Get off me. Don't make me hurt you.”

“Prove you're stronger. Don't pretend any longer that you deserve me if you can't back it up.”

He roared his denial and held on to a semblance of sanity as he stared up at his mate. “Fuck! You don't understand. I can't help myself. You think this is about a fear of commitment?”

Tersch rose to his feet, forcing Ava to cling to him as he stood. Once again towering over her, he pulled her from his body and pushed her back. When she threw herself back at him, he caught her. Though her weight seemed impossibly as heavy as his, he held her up and stared into feline pupils dilated with rage.

“Little girl, you know nothing about anger.” Tersch's berserker leaned closer until they stared at one another nose to nose. “Did you read all my files? Did you read about Frederik Gunnar Tersch's dysfunctional little family?” He laughed, and she finally showed a modicum of sense.

Ava shrank back and dug her claws into his arms to find purchase in the crushing muscle drawing her closer.

“Did you read about how I killed my sister, my girlfriend, and then my father?” His back teeth filled his lower jaw, and the urge to bite grew. “I choked the life out of him, watched as the capillaries in his eyes burst, and listened as he gasped for his last breath. So sweet, that destruction, that battle for domination.” He nicked her neck for a taste of her sweet blood, captivated by her shudder. He whispered, “I killed him, and sick fuck that I am, I loved him. I loved all of them, you know. But I love you even more. Think what I could do to you with all that precious emotion?” The horror on her face drove him on, and his berserker ripped through her shirt to clutch one firm, brown breast. He squeezed hard, pulling the strong scent of arousal from her, as well as the bitter scent of fear. “When I'm ready, I'll take what I want, what I own. You're mine, Ava. All mine. I wonder if your neck will snap as sweetly as Susanna's did?”

Ava pushed out of his arms and ran away.

He squelched his instinctive urge to give chase and tore down several trees in his rage to find control. Tersch finally pulled his berserker back down, fighting the creature's urge to take care of its mate. Though Tersch wore his berserker's skin, the warning had been all Gunnar, the man. And he'd hated every word of it.

Now she knew. The ugly, distorted truth of a man so unworthy to be loved.

Alone and lonely, Gunnar imagined his life without Ava and felt unbearably sad.

Tears filled his eyes, but he ignored them. Instead, he left the trail and walked deeper into the forest. Then he ran and kept on running.