False Covenant

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Widdershins hadn't been making an empty brag with her comment to Sorelle. While obviously not every Finder was “better” than every member of the Guard-were that the case, none of the thieves would ever be arrested, save from meanest luck-it was certainly true that the more skilled Finders could readily avoid detection by the average constable. That was, indeed, how Renard Lambert had departed the Flippant Witch without being noticed, despite the presence of watchers at every obvious exit.

It was also how every man and woman present, whether constable or otherwise, managed to overlook the spy on their periphery.

Again, this shouldn't be taken to suggest either carelessness or incompetence on anyone's part. Widdershins and the other Finders were heavily focused, first on their mission, and second on the discovery of the Guard's presence at the tavern. The constables themselves were attending primarily to their investigation (as well they should have been), and then to the presence of known criminals in their midst. That someone might have been hanging from the eaves of the Flippant Witch, cloaked in the shadows away from the street lanterns and listening through the half-shuttered windows, was a thought that simply-and, one might argue, reasonably-had never occurred to any of them.

All that said, and even allowing for the fact that he'd always been among the best at going unnoticed, Squirrel found the whole thing almost too easy. He hung beneath the eaves, and never once felt the tremor or cramping of muscles. No matter what dance steps the moon and the clouds followed, or where the constables wandered below, the shadows never once threatened to reveal his presence. The night itself was his coconspirator, and he found himself even more afraid than he had been.

What, precisely, was his association with Iruoch doing to him?

He overheard it all, Squirrel did; perhaps not every single word, but more than enough for him to understand what was happening within. He thought, long and hard, of simply running. He didn't even have a destination in mind, just the nigh-overwhelming desire to hit the ground, pick a random direction, and go until he couldn't go any farther.

But of course, he did no such thing. It wasn't even his fear of Iruoch's wrath that kept him tied as tightly as any leash, though of course that was part of it. It was, instead, his fear of himself.

If he abandoned his “master,” if he broke free of his self-inflicted bondage, it would mean that everything he'd done for Iruoch, every horror he'd aided the creature in perpetrating, was meaningless. It would mean that he had been free not to participate in the nightmares of the past week.

That the indelible stain on his soul was not just Iruoch's, but well and truly Simon Beaupre's.

Once Widdershins, Vernadoe, and the two constables had departed, and the remaining Guardsmen had congregated inside, Squirrel allowed himself to drop from the overhang. A split second spent on hands and knees, and then he was off down the road. He struggled to keep himself to a casual walk, but the sidelong glances he got from the sporadic, rushed passersby suggested that his stiff-legged, twitching gait wasn't quite doing the trick. Still, given the maelstrom of conflicting emotions that churned from his belly to the base of his skull, it was the best he could do.

He passed, at one point, a storefront with actual glass windows (it was, he thought, a jeweler's of some sort, though he couldn't be sure), and he practically leapt in fear from the reflection that loomed beside him. His eyes and his cheeks were sunken pits in a skull-shaped field of waxen, corpse-gray. Dirt and oil plastered his hair to his scalp, save where occasional tufts jutted out at irregular angles. His clothes, whose original colors he'd long since forgotten, held enough dirt to begin a small garden-or, more aptly, a shallow grave.

He looked…Well, he looked like someone that he himself, even in his hungriest and most miserable days, wouldn't have bothered to mug.

Squirrel found that thought oddly droll, and spent the next minutes of his walk struggling desperately not to break into hysterical giggles. The effort occupied his mind until he finally found himself standing before the house, and all thoughts of laughter were purged, perhaps carried away by his sudden sheen of sour perspiration.

It was a modest structure, boasting only a single story. The shingles were rough and somewhat mildewed; the bricks of the walls, old and cracked; the parchment windows, stained and torn. Nothing, other than the fact that the small garden outside was somewhat more overgrown and less well kept than those of its neighbors, marked it as in any way different from the other houses that stretched away to either side.

Nothing on the outside, anyway. Alas, for the family that no longer lived here-that no longer lived-the inside was something else again.

Squirrel went around to the back and let himself in, recoiling against the stench of decay. It wasn't particularly strong, as Iruoch hadn't left much intact to rot, but still pervasive enough to fill the household.

The master himself sat cross-legged on the dining room table, licking with violent tenacity at the inside of a child's shoe.

“You don't want to waste even the tiniest portion,” he said in his awful twin voices, responding perhaps to Squirrel's unspoken question. “Not when there are so many children starving in this world-who will certainly die before we can get around to eating them.” He tittered briefly, then tossed the shoe over his shoulder, where it landed perfectly amidst the shrunken, desiccated remains of the house's former occupants. “Sing me a song, my young thief. Tell me of little girls and the littler gods that live between the folds of their deepest dreams.”

“Uh…Well, I found her. I mean, I knew she'd go back to the Witch eventually, so I, um…”

“Found her. Yes.” Iruoch slowly drummed the spidery fingers of one hand against his cheek, occasionally rustling the floppy brim of his hat. “As you said you would. Not an accomplishment, silly boy. Anybody can do something that's so easy that anyone could do it.”

“Um…”

“You may be impressing my friends”-and right on cue, the distant chorus began to ooh and ahh-“but you're not impressing me. I want you to impress me.”

“Well, I-”

“Impress me! Impress me! Now, now, now!”

“I know what they're planning!” Squirrel shrieked.

“Oh, do you?” Iruoch applauded twice. “That's a little impressive. Well, don't leave me in suspense.”

Squirrel nodded, trembling, and spoke for several minutes. As he neared the end of his recitation, Iruoch placed his hands on the table, lifted himself upon them, and-still seated, his legs crossed-began to walk himself back and forth across its surface on his fingertips.

“The thief and her god, the Church and the Guard,” he muttered as he “paced.” “Alone they're no danger, together…”

“They're hard?” Squirrel offered hesitantly after a moment of silence.

Iruoch ceased his peculiar pacing and swiveled himself about on his fingertips so he could face his servant. “I was going to say ‘they might be a bit of a problem.’ What's with the rhyming?”

“I, uh…”

“Still, I've never met a problem I couldn't eat.” Iruoch flexed his fingers and shot to his feet, coming to rest beside the table. At no point in the graceful arc did his coat so much as flap. “Thieves and Guards and Churchmen, with-what do you think? Butter? Cinnamon? Or perhaps a sprinkling of random passersby?”

“I think we should lie low,” Squirrel said.

“Lie low? Lie low?!” Iruoch took a single staggering pace sideways and was abruptly directly before the quivering thief. “Cower and hide, cower and hide, draw the curtains and stay inside? Let the citizens brush us aside, feast on nothing but swallowed pride? This is your ‘suggestion,’ my little morsel?”

“I…” Somehow, Squirrel didn't think that pointing out the rhyme would be an effective use of breath. “You're great and powerful and all that…”

“I knew this already.”

“But, I mean, all of them? Priests, Finders, the Guard, and Widdershins's, uh, personal god? I just think it'd be smarter to-”

“I. Don't like. Cowards.” Iruoch was looming over Squirrel, their faces nearly touching-enough so that Simon could see the twitching and writhing of something beneath the creature's lips. “And I think you've been just about as useful as you're ever likely to be….”

“You can't,” he whispered.

“Can't? Can't?” The distant children began to weep. “Not my favorite word, oh, no, not at all!”

“But you swore…” Squirrel was sobbing now.

And just that swiftly, Iruoch drew himself up and stepped away. “I did, didn't I? An oath is a promise is a vow is a bargain. I swore that no harm would come to you…”

“For as long as I served you,” Squirrel breathed, his heart pounding.

“Yes, yes. And I will not break that oath, no.”

The boy's shoulders slumped in relief.

“Simon?” the fae said thoughtfully.

And tightened once more. Iruoch had never, never used his name before.

“Yes, master?”

Iruoch's face literally stretched, distorting itself outward to contain his impossible smirk. “You're fired.”

Squirrel squeezed his eyes shut and wailed-even as a part of him, the tiny surviving sliver of his soul, welcomed what was to come.

“…and, Vercoule, who among all the gods, has chosen this, Davillon, as his favored city. To all these, and more, we offer our gratitude, and our devotion, and our most humble prayers.”

This, the bishop's favorite holy litany, was now familiar to a huge swathe of Davillon's populace. Sicard invoked the same divine names (with perhaps a little variation, so as to avoid offending any of the more minor deities of the Hallowed Pact) in each of his services-and with each service, the Basilica of the Sublime Tenet grew ever more heavily attended. As the terror of the city's murders spread, and with it the fear of some supernatural agency at work, more and more of the people forgot their anger at the Church's treatment of Davillon (or, more accurately, allowed their worry to overshadow said anger). They sought comfort in the words of the priests, and the protection of the houses of the gods.

At this particular service, despite the fact that the day was just now dawning outside, the pews supported enough prayerful rears that the wooden planks, perhaps having grown accustomed to lesser loads, offered the occasional squeak or groan in counterpoint to the bishop's words. Perhaps only one of every five or six seats remained vacant, and a great many of the attendees were dressed not in their finery, but in workday clothes. The implication-that church attendance was once again considered, by some, to be an everyday event-was unmistakable.

“In times as trying as these,” Sicard said, tugging at one sleeve of his cassock to remove a stubborn wrinkle, “it does us all good to recall that the gods of the Hallowed Pact watch over those who honor their names. Let me recall to your memories a tale I'm sure you've all heard before, involving the cavalier Verrell d'Ouelette and his seemingly impossible quest to slay the Charred Serpent of Lacour….”

The sanctuary itself was lit in a rainbow of colors, resplendent in the thin shafts of light that speared through, and were cheerily rouged and shadowed and otherwise made up by, the stained glass windows. And indeed, for most of the audience sitting in that rain of colors, the tale was aptly chosen, for it told not only of one of Galice's greatest folk heroes, but specifically of how the gods protected and guided him through his most troubled days.

But it was not this to which everyone in the audience reacted, no. For Widdershins (who was largely dressed as herself, not guised as Madeleine, though she'd thrown a less conspicuous green tunic over her leathers), the bishop's choice of stories was more interesting for other reasons. While he was not a primary character in the tale, d'Ouelette also made a brief appearance in “The Princess on the Road of Beasts”-perhaps the most popular of the fairy tales in which Iruoch himself played a part.

It was, most probably, coincidental-d'Ouelette popped up in a lot of Galice's stories-but she found it apt, if not actually ominous.

“You know,” she whispered, leaning so that her nose was just about inside Igraine's ear, “Iruoch doesn't actually behave much as the stories portray him. He's…wilder.”

The priestess glared and raised a finger to her lips.

“Oh, like you haven't heard this story before,” Widdershins huffed. But when that brought nothing but a second glare-as well as several irritated murmurs from the others seated nearby-she sunk into her seat, crossed her arms, and contented herself with an impatient, but silent, sulk.

It was a sulk that continued unbroken, save for the occasional subvocal snide comment to Olgun, until the sermon and the final benedictions were completed. At that point, Widdershins and Igraine stood with the rest of the human tide rising around them and let the milling worshippers slowly filter by them.

“Anything?” Widdershins asked, once more directly into her reluctant companion's ear.

“No. No, nothing. If he's consorting with any sort of unnatural entities, they haven't left a mark on his soul.”

Igraine might not have said Unlike yours, but Widdershins heard it clear as the cathedral's bell.

“All right,” the thief said. “Go join the others outside. I'll try to follow him, but if he slips by me, one of you needs to keep him in sight until I can catch up.”

“Yes, Widdershins. I was present when we went over the plan the first time.”

“So go be present when we execute it.”

Igraine snorted something and joined the departing worshippers. Widdershins returned to her seat. Several other parishioners were also lingering, offering their own prayers or perhaps waiting for an audience with Sicard, so she didn't look particularly conspicuous. All she had to do now was wait and…

“Your pardon, mademoiselle.”

Widdershins craned her head around, looking over her shoulder. Behind her stood one of the ceremonial Church guards, normally assigned only to the protection of eminent clergymen such as Sicard himself. His uniform was almost clownish, replete with baggy pantaloons, steel breastplate and helm, and an old-fashioned halberd that was probably too big to even function as a genuine weapon in any room more confined than the sanctuary itself.

The pistol and dueling sword at his waist were another story entirely, however, and his expression suggested that he clearly meant business.

“Uh, yes?” Widdershins asked with a shy smile.

“His Eminence wishes to see you. Now.”

“Umm…” Oh, figs! “Of course. Up on the dais, or-”

“He'll await you in his office.”

Widdershins forced herself not to frown. How could he possibly-?

She felt a brief flash from Olgun. Of course. Igraine sensed me. Archbishop de Laurent sensed me. I just never thought he could pick me out of a crowd, from so far…

“Mademoiselle, I really must insist.”

Run? Fight? Not without drawing a lot of attention-and probably losing their only chance at learning what Sicard was up to. She sighed once and rose to her feet. “Of course. Lead the way.”

As they started across the room, the rapidly diminishing crowd thinning out before them, she saw Igraine watching from the doorway. Widdershins tried to shrug without being obvious about it, but the guard bustled her around behind the raised platform before she could see if the priestess understood.

They proceeded into a curving hallway half-hidden behind the dais. The sea-green carpeting here was thin enough that their footsteps echoed, albeit only faintly, between the narrow walls. They could hear voices from up ahead and from various rooms they passed, but never clearly enough to make out more than the occasional syllable.

Finally, they approached a door somewhat larger than the others, with the Eternal Eye symbol of the entire Hallowed Pact embossed in silver at-appropriately enough-eye-level. Just as the guard raised his fist to knock, Widdershins said, “Please tell the bishop I'll see him now.”

The fellow's clean-shaven face twisted her way. “Are you trying to be funny?”

“I'm not trying one bit,” she answered cheerfully. “It all comes naturally.”

The guard grumbled something, knocked, and pushed the door open at the response from within.

Framed beyond the portal stood Sicard himself, still clad in the silver-trimmed ceremonial robes he wore for his sermons. Very little of the chamber was visible behind them, but Widdershins had the faint impression of a third person present. Probably the monk, Ferrand, if she'd had to guess.

“Well,” Sicard said, “I don't believe we've ever been formally introduced, but I imagine you would be Widdershins?”

Widdershins blinked. How much does the bishop already know about me? Even Olgun felt more than a little startled. “Uh…” She gave some thought to denying it, then decided it wasn't worth the effort. “You imagine correctly, Your Eminence.

Sicard stepped back, gesturing for Widdershins to enter. “Martin, please ensure that our guest is unarmed, and then see that we're not disturbed.”

She might still have time to run. Gods alone knew what Sicard was capable of, what his schemes were, how much of the recent bloodshed was, indirectly or otherwise, his doing. Being trapped with him in his own chambers, unarmed, didn't precisely seem to be the pathway to a long and prosperous life.

Bah! I can take care of myself! And there was so much she needed to learn…

Widdershins smiled once more at the guard-Martin, apparently-and held out her arms. The guard's efforts were professional, but thorough. He located and confiscated not only Widdershins's main gauche, but a few smaller blades she had secreted on her person. “Well,” she said to Olgun in her not-even-a-breath voice, flinching as the office door slammed behind her, “that could have gone a little better, yes?”

Struggling to keep the doubt from her face, Widdershins smiled, nodded in response to Sicard's gesture, and moved to take a seat. The office was large and well furnished without crossing the line into opulent. Several chairs with thick cushions stood around a marble-topped table, upon which sat several glass carafes and a number of narrow goblets. Bookcases lined one wall, a few tasteful portraits (presumably of saints or other holy figures) the opposite. Across from the door, a large window allowed the early-morning sun to illuminate the room. Before that window stood a desk with a chair, but it seemed rarely used, suggesting that the bishop preferred to sit at the table.

Sicard lit a chandelier hanging above that table and waved. Ferrand-for it was, indeed, he who Widdershins had noticed-drew the heavy curtains, so that the newly kindled flame became the room's only light.

“We don't have many passersby in the courtyard,” the bishop explained, “but nonetheless, I'd hate for anyone to spot us talking and get the wrong idea.”

“No, of course,” Widdershins muttered. “Couldn't have that.”

Sicard took a seat across from her, with Ferrand hovering behind him. “Wine? Juice?”

“Uh, no, thank you.”

He nodded and poured himself a goblet of a rich, sweet-smelling vintage. “So, tell me, young lady…What, precisely, did you hope to accomplish here?”

“I beg your-”

“Please, let's not insult one another's intelligence, hmm? Your last visit here was about studying me, so that's not why you came back. It certainly wasn't to hear my sermon. Were you hoping to spy on me, or simply to attack me outright?”

Widdershins felt her jaw trying to unhinge itself again.

“Your plan was one or the other, was it not?” Sicard pressed.

“Um, of course not,” she lied.

“Of course not.” Sicard chuckled. “Widdershins, a man doesn't reach my position without learning the ins and outs of intrigue. You wouldn't last five minutes in the political wrangling I've seen.”

“William wasn't like that,” she muttered.

Sicard's smile fell. “William de Laurent was a great man. One of the best I've ever met. But he left his footprints on enough backs and shoulders on the way up. We all do.

“And you,” he suddenly roared, his wine threatening to spill across the table and his pristine cassock, “haven't the right to speak his name!”

Widdershins couldn't help it; she actually recoiled, sinking back in her chair against the unexpected surge of fury. Even Brother Ferrand jumped a little, and his expression was ever so slightly wild.

“What…What are you talking about?” she asked.

“You know damn well! I have no idea what your vendetta against the Church may be, little girl, but it ends now!”

“Vendetta? Vendetta?! I've done nothing-!”

“We know you were involved in Archbishop de Laurent's murder-”

“I was trying to save-!”

“I've read Brother Maurice's report. It's confused and spotty, and leaves out far more details than it includes. I doubt his conclusions, frankly.”

“But-”

“Especially since you're so obviously working to sabotage us now, as well!”

“I never-”

“Is it something personal, thief? Something in your past? Or is this a move on the part of your heathen god?”

Widdershins, who had by now realized that Sicard didn't intend to let her complete a sentence any time soon, clamped her mouth shut and tried her best to burn a hole through his forehead with nothing but the power of her stare.

“Oh, yes, I know about him,” Sicard continued. “Not his name, or where he comes from, but I know he exists. I felt his presence the first time you entered my church. Between what I read of Brother Maurice's report-”

“The one you doubt?” Widdershins growled, but the bishop didn't hear.

“-and everything else I've dug up on you, it would have been only a matter of time before I pieced it together even if you hadn't appeared in my church this morning. And of course, now that you're right here, I can just about see him! How you kept his presence from de Laurent-”

“He knew,” Widdershins said, relishing the chance to interrupt. “William understood. He approved.”

“Nonsense!” Sicard was practically spitting. “And your own actions put the lie to any such ludicrous claims!”

“And what actions would those-”

“You're a murderer as well as a thief!”

“If you interrupt me one more-Wait. You think I'm what?”

“Oh, yes, I know. I made certain, absolutely certain, that nobody would be hurt! Nobody! Everything was proceeding as well as I could have dared hope, with nothing but a few scrapes and bruises. And then, you! You stick your nose in, and now Davillon has blood running in the streets!”

Widdershins realized she was standing, as was Sicard, and wasn't certain when either of them had risen. Brother Ferrand virtually vibrated in place, as though torn in multiple directions at once.

“You think I killed those people? Me? Gods, why?”

“There's nobody else involved who-”

“It's not me, you idiot! It's Iruoch!”

She hadn't meant to just blurt it out, but at least-other than his heaving breath-she'd finally silenced the shouting old goat.

When he finally did relocate his voice, Sicard didn't seem certain what to do with it. “What…You…Did you just say ‘Iruoch’?”

Widdershins struggled to control her own breathing, her own temper, and sat back down. “I did.”

“Iruoch's a fairy tale, you stupid girl! A story!”

“Like the cavalier d'Ouelette?” she challenged.

“A story,” he repeated. “One of many I tell, to make a point. To teach. It doesn't mean I believe them, any more than my adult parishioners do. If you think I'd accept for one instant-”

“Look, you don't have to believe that he's literally Iruoch! But there's something unnatural hunting Davillon, and it sure as figs isn't me!”

“Ridiculous. You-”

“Ah, Your Eminence.” Ferrand sounded as though he'd rather cover himself in salt and dance for the lions than get involved, but he did so nonetheless. “I have been keeping an ear on what's going on, and it's true that there's definitely some sort of magic involved in these murders. The bodies-”

“That just proves that her heathen god has given her powers of witchcraft, Ferrand! She's the only murderer involved! She-”

By which point, Widdershins's patience, already stretched so far it would ache for days, snapped. With a sound somewhere between a grunt and a shriek she lunged from her seat, calling on Olgun's aid as she moved, less in control now even than she'd been when confronting Igraine in the shrine of the Shrouded God.

One hand on the edge of the table was enough to vault her across the room, not at the bishop, but at Ferrand. Her calves crossed around his knees and she twisted as she fell, sending him crashing to the carpet. It wouldn't hurt him much, except maybe his pride, but it would keep him out of the way just long enough…

Sicard was already recoiling, hand reaching for the staff of office leaning on the back of his chair, but he might as well have been swimming through cobweb. Widdershins was back on her feet-or, more accurately, one foot. The other rose, then fell in a heel kick atop one of the carafes, shattering it across the marble. A simple cartwheel, and she came up directly beside the bishop, one arm wrapped around his neck, the other clutching a curved length of broken glass that had previously been the decanter's handle. Her hand should have been bleeding all over it, but Olgun's will had allowed her to avoid every other shard on the tabletop.

It was all over before Widdershins's chair had finished its slow topple to the floor.

“If I were the murderer you believe me to be,” she hissed into the pallid clergyman's face, “you'd be dead. And I'd be out that window in another three seconds.”

At which point she dropped the makeshift weapon and was in the process of righting her chair before the guard outside had finally shaken off his shock at the abrupt eruption of sounds and thrown open the door to see what was amiss.

“Brother Ferrand tripped,” she said to the sentry's stunned face.

“He did no such thing!” Sicard's voice lacked the certainty it had held only moments before, but if he was having doubts now, it wasn't stopping him. “I want that creature in chains!”

“Well,” she said softly to Olgun, already beginning to flush with embarrassment at her brief lapse of control. What in the name of the gods is wrong with me? First Igraine, now Sicard? “That probably wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done. That argument worked so well with Igraine…”

Martin approached, one hand on his pistol, and she was just trying to decide if it was worth resisting when Igraine herself appeared in the office doorway. Paschal Sorelle was beside her.

And they were followed by Julien Bouniard! Even though she'd known he was nearby, watching in case the bishop had slipped by her, she couldn't repress a gasp of relief (or was it just relief?) at the sight.

Julien, for his part, took one look at the broken glass, a second at Widdershins, and then just shook his head.

“I don't know what you're doing here, Major,” Sicard said, far more calmly. “But you couldn't have picked a better time. This woman is a thief and a-”

“You can save it, Your Eminence,” Bouniard said. “We heard all of it.” Then, when the bishop and the thief both gawped at him, “When Igraine saw you being escorted into the back, we improvised. Cup against the bishop's window. Thank you for pulling the curtain, by the way. Otherwise, you'd have spotted us in a second.”

Sicard was scowling, his jaw working, no doubt trying to recall if, in the heat of the moment, he'd said anything too terribly self-incriminating.

Widdershins was only too happy to help. “Which means,” she crowed, “they heard you admit that you arranged the initial attacks! Before the people actually started dying!”

“That doesn't justify your attack on me,” he insisted, though he'd begun to pale. “Major, I intend to press charges with the full weight of the Church.”

“And you have that right,” he said. “Of course, in the process, Igraine and I will have to testify to what we heard-and of course, if we make such a claim in court, we must inform the Church as well.”

“Why are you aiding this girl?!” Sicard demanded. “She's a murderer!”

“Actually,” Bouniard told him, “she's not.”

“I-what?”

“She has, in fact, been assisting us in our attempts to stop the creature committing these crimes.”

“Creature? You don't honestly-”

“Yes, Your Eminence, I do. I've seen its handiwork-including the injuries Widdershins suffered the first time it tried to kill her.”

“She could have faked-”

“No. She couldn't.”

Sicard literally fell backward, and it was only sheer luck that the chair was near enough to catch him. “But…William de Laurent? She-”

“I was there for some of those events as well, Your Eminence. She did everything she could to save the archbishop. And she lost her own closest friend in that mess.”

Widdershins turned away, memories of Genevieve-and, spawned by those, a new flare of concern for Robin-briefly overwhelming her.

“I was so sure.” Sicard's palms were shaking as though abruptly stricken with palsy. “I was so sure. It can't be because of us, we made certain…”

“What exactly did you do, Your Eminence?” Julien asked, not unkindly. But the old man-growing visibly older by the moment-seemed unable to answer. The monk knelt beside his master and held his trembling hand.

“Why,” Widdershins couldn't help but mutter, “does everyone want to blame me for everything?”

She hadn't intended to be overheard, but by one pair of ears, she was. “Because you're secretive,” Igraine said. “And you're impetuous. And you do find yourself near the center of trouble far more often than is good for you. And because some of us can sense that there truly is something abnormal, even unnatural about you. But mostly because you really, really annoy people.”

Widdershins couldn't think of a better reaction than to stick her tongue out. “Igraine?” she asked a moment later in a whisper, careful that nobody else in the room might hear. “Is what you heard really enough to start an inquiry? I mean, he only kind of touched on-”

“We didn't hear a damn thing, Widdershins,” she answered as quietly. “Cup against the window? We barely made out every fifth word.”

Olgun somehow emoted an “Eep!” and Widdershins stared through horror-widened eyes. “You mean…?”

“We just came running when we heard things get messy, and hoped that you'd gotten something useful from him.”

Widdershins couldn't tell whether she wanted to sob or hit someone, and was just deciding that she needn't choose one over the other when Sicard coughed once and straightened his shoulders.

“All right, Major,” the bishop said. “I don't know what's happened, or where things went wrong, but I never intended for anyone to suffer. I'll tell you the whole story.”

“Would you? Oh, splendid!” Every head in the room flinched in mounting dread as the door to the office slowly drifted open once more, admitting that awful, dual-toned voice. “I just love a good story!”