Faith of the Fallen

Chapter 38

Kahlan pulled her horse up short. She felt the heat of blood rushing to her face. “What are you doing?” Cara asked as Kahlan threw her leg over the horse’s neck and leaped to the ground.

The moon lit a layer of lacy clouds scudding past, giving a faint, serene illumination to the surrounding countryside. The thin layer of snow gathered the muted light of the moon to make it more luminous than it otherwise would be.

Kahlan pointed in the direction of the small figure she could just make out in the dim light. The skinny girl, surely not much past ten years, was standing at a barrel, ramming a metal rod down inside to smash the glass in the bottom. Kahlan handed the reins to Cara as soon as she had dismounted.

Kahlan stalked over to the Sisters working on the snowy ground. Running off in a haphazard line, to keep the wind at their backs, were over a hundred of the women, all focused intently on the work before them. Many had their cloaks tented around themselves and their work.

Not far down that line, Kahlan bent, put a hand under the Prelate’s arm, and lifted her to her feet. Mindful of the serious nature of the work going on, Kahlan at least kept her voice quiet, since she wasn’t able to make it congenial.

“Verna, what is Holly doing down here?”

Verna glanced over the heads of a dozen intervening Sisters kneeling before a long board, breeze at their backs, carefully griding glass chips with pestles in mortars. There being not nearly enough pestles and mortars, many of the women to the other side were using dished rocks and round stones to carefully crunch the glass chips. The concentration showed on each woman’s face. The accident that had blinded a Sister had happened when the wind had changed, and a gust had blown her work back up in her face. The same thing could happen again at any time, although, as darkness had settled in, the wind had at least died down to a steady breeze.

Holly was bundled in an oversized cloak. She had a determined grimace as she lifted the rod and then let it drop down in the barrel set away from the Sisters’ dangerous work. Kahlan saw that the rod had a faint greenish glow to it.

“She’s helping, Mother Confessor.”

“She’s a child!”

Verna pointed off into the darkness, to what Kahlan hadn’t seen. “So are Helen and Valery.”

Kahlan pinched the bridge of her nose between her first finger and thumb and took a purging breath. “What madness would possess you to have children down here near the front helping to—to blind people?”

Verna glanced at the women working nearby. She took Kahlan’s arm by the elbow and led her out of earshot of the others. Alone, where they were less likely to be heard, she folded her hands before herself as she assumed the stern visage that came so naturally to her.

“Kahlan, Holly may be a child, but she is a gifted child, and she is far from stupid besides. That goes for Helen and Valery as well. Holly has seen more in her young life than any child should see. She knows what’s going on tonight, with that attack, and with the attack that’s coming. She was terrified—all the children were.”

“So you bring her to the front—to the greatest danger?”

“What would you have me do? Send her back somewhere to be watched over by soldiers? Do you wish me to force her to be alone at a time like this so she could only tremble in terror?”

“But this is—”

“She’s gifted. Despite how horrific it seems, this is better for her, as it is for the others. She’s with the Sisters, who understand her and her ability as other people can’t. Don’t you recall the comfort you derived from being with older Confessors who knew the way you felt about things?”

Kahlan did, but said nothing.

“The Sisters are the only family she and the other novices have, now. Holly is not alone and afraid. She may still be afraid, but she’s doing something to help us, so that her fear is channeled into something that will assist in overcoming the cause of her fear.”

Kahlan’s brow was still set in a glare. “Verna, she’s a child.”

“And you had to kill a child today. I understand. But don’t let that terrible event make it harder on Holly. Yes, this is an awful thing she is helping to do, but this is the reality of the way things are. She could die tonight, along with the rest of us. Can you even imagine what those brutes would do to her, first? At least that much is beyond the imagination of her young mind. What she can comprehend, though, is fear enough.

“If she wanted to hide somewhere, I would have let her, but she has a right—if she so chooses—to contribute to saving herself. She is gifted and can use her power to do the simple part of what needs doing. She begged me to give her the chance to help.”

In anguish, Kahlan gathered her fur mantle at her throat as she glanced back over her shoulder at the little girl using both her spindly arms to lift the heavy steel rod and drop it again to break the glass in the bottom of the barrel. Holly’s features were drawn tight as she concentrated on using her gift while at the same time lifting the weight of the rod.

“Dear spirits,” Kahlan whispered to herself, “this is madness.”

Cara impatiently shifted her weight to her other foot. It wasn’t indifference to the situation, but a matter of priorities. Madness or not, there was little time left, and, as Verna said, they could all die before the night was finished. As cruel as it sounded, there were more important matters than the life of one child, or, for that matter, three.

“How is the work going? Are you going to be ready?”

Verna’s bold expression finally faltered. “I don’t know.” She lifted a hand hesitantly, motioning out over the dark valley before them. “The wind is right, but the valley approach to our forces is quite broad. It’s not that we won’t have some, it’s that we need to have enough so that when the enemy gets close, we can release the glass dust to float across the span of the entire field of battle.”

“But you have some. Surely, what you have will do damage to the enemy.”

“If there isn’t enough, then they may skirt it, or it may not be concentrated enough to do the damage necessary to bring their forces to a halt. Their attack will not be turned back by a small number of casualties.”

Verna squeezed one fist in her other hand. “If the Creator will just slow the Imperial Order enough to grant us another hour, at the least, then I believe we may have enough.”

Kahlan wiped a hand across her face. That was asking a lot, but with the darkness, she thought that it just might be possible that the Order would have to go slow enough to give Verna and her Sisters the time they needed.

“And you’re sure we can’t help? There is nothing any but the gifted can do to assist you?”

Verna’s mask of authority again emerged in the moonlight.

“Well, yes, there is one thing.”

“What is it, then?”

“You could leave me alone so I can work.”

Kahlan sighed. “Just promise me one thing.” Verna raised an eyebrow as if willing to listen prudently. “When the attack comes, and you have to use this special glass, get the children out of here first? Get them to the rear, where they can be taken over the pass to safety.”

Verna smiled with relief. “We are of like minds in that, Mother Confessor.”

As Verna hurried back to her work, Kahlan and Cara returned along the line of Sisters, past the end to where Holly was preparing glass to supply those gifted women. Kahlan couldn’t help but to stop for a word.

“Holly, how are you getting along?”

When the girl rested the rod against the side of the barrel, Cara, absent any fondness for magic, aimed a suspicious frown at the faintly glowing metal. As Holly took her small hands from the metal, the greenish glow faded, as if a magical wick had been turned down.

“I’m fine, Mother Confessor. Except I’m cold. I’m getting terribly tired of being cold.”

Kahlan smiled warmly as she ran a gentle hand down the back of Holly’s fine hair. “As are we all.” Kahlan crouched down beside the girl. “When we get over into another valley, you can get warm by a nice fire.”

“That would be splendid.” She cast a furtive glance at her steel rod. “I have to get back to work, Mother Confessor.”

Kahlan couldn’t resist pulling the girl close and kissing her frigid cheek. Hesitant at first, the thin little arms surrendered to desperately encircle Kahlan’s neck.

“I’m so scared,” Holly whispered.

“Me too,” Kahlan whispered back as she squeezed the girl tight. “Me too.”

Holly straightened. “Really? You get scared, too, that those awful men will murder us?”

Kahlan nodded. “I get frightened, but I know we have a lot of good people who will keep us safe. Like you, they work as hard as they can so that we can all someday be safe, and not have to be scared anymore.”

The girl stuck her hands under her cloak to warm them. Her gaze sank to the ground at her feet. “I miss Ann, too.” She looked up again. “Is Ann safe?”

Kahlan groped for words of comfort. “I saw Ann not long ago, and she was fine. I don’t think you need worry for her.”

“She saved me. I love her and miss her so. Will she be with us, soon?”

Kahlan cupped the girl’s cheek. “I don’t know, Holly. She had important business she was taking care of. I’m sure, though, that we’ll see her again.”

Pleased with that news and seemingly relieved to know that she was not alone in her fears, Holly turned back to her work with renewed determination.

As Kahlan and Cara collected their horses, they heard a horse approaching at a gallop. Before she recognized the rider, Kahlan saw and recognized the black splotch on its rump. When he saw her waving, Zedd trotted Spider around to her. He slid down off the animal’s bare back.

“They’re coming,” the wizard announced without preamble.

Verna rushed up, having seen Zedd ride in. “It’s too soon! They weren’t supposed to be here this soon!”

He gaped at her in astonishment. “Bags, woman, shall I tell them that it would be rather inconvenient for them to attack right now and to please come back to kill us later?”

“You know what I mean,” she snapped. “We don’t have enough, yet.”

“How long till they get here?” Kahlan asked.

“Ten minutes.”

That thin sliver of time was the only bulwark between them and catastrophe. Kahlan felt as if her heart rose into her throat, recalling suddenly the forsaken feeling of being mobbed and beaten to death. Verna sputtered in wordless frustration, anger, and dread.

“Do you have any ready?” Zedd asked as calmly as if he were inquiring about dinner.

“Yes, of course,” she said. “But if they will be here that soon, we’ve not enough. Dear Creator, we don’t have nearly what we’ll need in order to drift it out all across the front. Too little is as good as none.”

“We’ve no choice, now.” Zedd gazed off into the darkness, perhaps seeing what only a wizard could see. His jaw was set in bitter disappointment. He spoke in a disembodied voice, a man going through the motions when he knew he had come to the end of his options, perhaps even his faith. “Start releasing what you have. We’ll just have to hope for the best. I have messengers with me; I’ll send word of the situation back to General Meiffert. He will need to know.”

To see Zedd seemly relinquish hope cast their fate in the most frightening light possible. Zedd was always the one who kept them focused and gave them courage, conviction, and confidence. He gathered up Spider’s reins in one hand and gripped her mane with the other.

“Wait,” Kahlan said.

He paused and looked back at her. His eyes were a window into an inner weariness. She couldn’t imagine all the struggles he had faced in his life, or even in the last few weeks. Kahlan ran through seemingly a thousand thoughts as she searched frantically for some way of turning away their grim fate.

Kahlan couldn’t let Zedd down. He had so often carried them; now he needed another shoulder to help endure the weight. She presented him a look of fierce determination before she turned to the Prelate.

“Verna, what if we didn’t release it in the way we planned? What if we didn’t simply let it drift out, hoping for the breeze to carry it where we need it?”

Verna opened her hands in a bewildered gesture. “What do you mean?”

“Won’t it take more of the glass—the amount you say you need—simply so that there is enough to let it drift all the way across the valley, and yet have enough to hang in the air, too?”

“Well . . . yes, of course, but—”

“What if,” Kahlan asked, “we released it in a line along the face of the front? Right where it was needed. Then it would take less, wouldn’t it?”

“Well, I suppose.” Verna threw up her hands. “But I told you, we can’t use magic to help us or they will detect our conjuring and then they will shield for the glass as fast as we release it. It will be useless. Better to release what we have and hope for the best.”

Kahlan glanced out over the empty plain faintly lit by the placid clouds veiling the moon. There was nothing to be seen out in the valley.

Soon, there would be. Soon, the virgin snow would be trampled by the boots of over a million men.

Only the sound of glass being crushed on stone and the thump of the steel rods in the barrels disturbed the quiet darkness. Soon, bloodcurdling battle cries would inundate the hush of the night.

Kahlan felt the suffocating dread she had felt when she first realized that all those men had caught her alone. She felt the anger, too.

“Collect what you’ve made so far,” she said. “Let me have it.”

They all stared at her.

Zedd’s brow drew together in a wrinkled knot. “Just what are you thinking?”

Kahlan pulled her hair back from her face as she rapidly pieced together her plan, so that it was whole in her own mind, first.

“The enemy is attacking into the wind—not directly, but close enough for our purpose. I’m thinking that if I ride along the front of our line, right in front of the advancing enemy troops, and I release the glass dust, letting it dribble out as I go, then it will flow out in the wind behind me, right into the faces of the enemy. Delivering it right where it’s needed, it won’t take as much as it would were we to let it drift out from here hoping to spread it all across the valley.” She looked from one startled face to another. “Do you see what I’m saying? Closer to the enemy, wouldn’t it take much less to do the job?”

“Dear Creator,” Verna protested, “do you have any idea how dangerous that would be?”

“Yes,” Kahlan answered in grim resolve. “A lot less dangerous than facing a direct attack by their entire force. Now, would that work? Wouldn’t it take considerably less if I were to ride along the front, trickling it out as I went, than letting it drift out to them from here? Well? We’re running out of time.”

“You’re right—it wouldn’t take nearly as much.” Verna touched her lip as she stared off into the darkness while considering. “It’s better than the way we were going to do it, that much is sure.”

Kahlan started pushing her. “Get it together. Now. Hurry.”

Verna abandoned her protests and ran off to collect what they had. Cara was about to unleash a tirade of objections when Zedd lifted a hand as if to ask she let him do the objecting, instead.

“Kahlan, it sounds like you might have something here, but someone else can do this. It’s foolish to risk—”

“I’ll be needing a diversion,” she said, cutting him off. “Something to distract their attention. I’ll be riding by in the dark, so they probably won’t notice me, but it would be best if there were something to occupy their attention, just in case, something to make them look elsewhere—for the last time.”

“As I was saying, someone else can—”

“No,” she said in quiet finality. “I’ll not ask someone else to do this. It was my idea. I’m doing it. I won’t allow someone to take my place.”

Kahlan deemed herself responsible for the peril they were in. It was she who had blundered and fallen for Jagang’s trick. It was she who had come up with the plan and ordered the troops out. It was she who made Jagang’s night attack possible.

Kahlan knew all too well the terror everyone felt, waiting for the attack. She felt it herself. She thought of Holly, fearful of being murdered by the marauding beasts coming out of the night for her. The fear was all too real.

It would be Kahlan who had lost the war for them, this very night, if they didn’t get their army back across that pass to safety.

“I’m doing this myself,” she repeated. “That’s the way it’s going to be. Standing here arguing about it can only cost us our chance. Now, I need a diversion, and I need one quickly.”

Zedd let out an angry breath. The fire was back in his eyes. He flicked out his hand, pointing. “Warren is back there waiting for me. The two of us will move to separate locations and give you your diversion.”

“What will you do?”

At last, Zedd surrendered to a grim, cunning grin. “Nothing fancy, this time. No clever devious tricks, like they no doubt expect. This time, we’ll give them a good old-fashioned firefight.”

Kahlan gave a sharp tug to the strap at her ribs holding her leather armor on her shoulders, chest, and back, cinching it down tight. She nodded once to seal the pact.

“Wizard’s fire it is, then.”

“Keep an eye to your right, to our side, as you ride. I don’t want you to get in the way of what I mean for the enemy. You must also watch for what their gifted send back at me.”

As she secured her cloak, she nodded assent to Zedd’s brief instructions. She checked the straps on her leg armor, making sure they were tight, remembering how the enemy’s strong fingers had clawed at her legs, trying to unhorse her.

Verna came—rushing back, a big bucket at the end of each arm pulled down straight by the weight. Some of the Sisters were scurrying along beside her.

“All right,” the winded Prelate said. “Let’s go.”

Kahlan reached for the buckets. “I’ll take—”

Verna yanked them back. “How do you propose to ride and sprinkle this out? It’s too much. Besides, you don’t know its properties.”

“Verna, I’m not letting you—”

“Stop acting like an obstinate child. Let’s go.”

Cara snatched one of the buckets. “Verna is right, Mother Confessor. You can’t hold on to your horse, release the glass dust, and carry both buckets all at the same time. You two take that one, I’ll take this one.”

The willowy Sister Philippa rushed to Cara’s side and lifted the bucket. “Mistress Cara is right, Prelate. You and the Mother Confessor can’t do both buckets. You two take one; Mistress Cara and I will take the other.”

There was no time to argue with the three determined women. Kahlan knew that no one would be able to talk her out of what she had to do, and they probably felt the same. Besides, they had a valid point.

“All right,” Kahlan said as she pulled on her gloves.

She lashed tight the fur mantle she wore over the top of the wool cloak. She didn’t want anything flapping in the wind. The hilt of her sword was covered, but she figured she wouldn’t be needing it. The hilt of Richard’s sword stuck up behind her shoulder, her ever-present reminder of him—as if she needed one. She quickly tied her hair back with a leather thong.

Verna tossed a handful of the fluffy snow, checking the wind. It had held its direction and was light, but steady. At least that much was in their favor.

“You two go first,” Kahlan said to Cara. “Verna and I will wait maybe five minutes to let what you release drift in toward the enemy, so that we won’t ride through it. Then, we’ll follow you across the valley. That way we’ll be sure to overlap what you release with ours so as not to have any gaps. We need to make sure there’s no safe place for the Order to get through. We need the ruin and panic to be as uniform and widespread as possible.”

Sister Philippa, noting what Kahlan had done, fastened her cloak securely at her neck and waist. “That makes sense.”

“It would be more effective doubled like that,” Verna agreed.

“I guess there’s no time to argue this foolishness,” Zedd grumbled as he seized Spider’s mane and pulled himself up, laying across the horse’s back on his belly. He swung a leg over Spider’s rump and sat up. “Let me have a minute or two to get ahead of you and let Warren know, then we’ll start showing the Imperial Order some real wizard work.”

He pulled his horse around and smiled. It was heartening to see it again.

“After all this work, someone had better have some dinner waiting for me on the other side of that pass back there.”

“If I have to cook it for you myself,” Kahlan promised.

The wizard gave them a jaunty wave and galloped off into the darkness.