Extracted

TWENTY-FOUR

EMBER

Ethan tosses his shovel and comes to my side. Lex and his friends are huddled over the last grave. He’s pounding a makeshift cross into the ground. I don’t want to be too close to them right now. What right do I have? Tesla did this. Attacked these people. Beyond the soft ache in my heart, there’s only shame.

“They need a minute,” he says gently.

I nod. “Ethan?” “Yeah?”

“I have to tell you something.” I pause. “It’s something I should have told you a while ago, but—I dunno—I suppose there was never time.”

He scoots close to me, shoulder to shoulder.

“Okay.”

“Right. So back at the Institute, the day of my rift test, you came to get me from the cafeteria, remember?”

He grins. “You were so nervous, you were almost green. How could I forget?”

“Well, I was in the cafeteria and sort of appeared to myself.”

Whatever he expects me to say, it isn’t that. His mouth falls agape as he struggles to understand.

“Wait, you mean you rifted back from somewhere and spoke to yourself inside the Institute?”

I nod. “Yeah. It was weird. She told me, well I guess I told me, to take something on my first rift. It was something specific. The thing is, I haven’t done that yet.”

“Took something on your test or gone back and talked to yourself?”

“Gone back. How will I know when to go do it?”

He sighs, rubbing his hand down his face slowly so he has time to think. Finally, he shrugs.

“Well, I would imagine you’ll know when. I mean, something will happen and you’ll know it’s time to go back. Was there anything different about her? Anything that stood out?”

I think back. “She was dressed differently. And she had…” I reach up and touch the scab under my chin, “a scar right here.”

“Did it look old or fresh?” he asks seriously.

“Older, I think. It was healed, at least.”

He turns his back to the others, blocking my eyeline. “Then you have some time.”

I see something glint on the ground. Kicking it with the toe of my boot, I see it’s one of Lex’s bottle caps. There’s a bunch of them, scattered in the grass. Bending over, I pick them up and stuff them in my pocket.

“If any of it even matters after this,” I say, earning me a confused look. “I mean, if the Dox works, then what? It sets time back on track? What does that even mean? Does this still happen? Does Lex ever save Stein? Or will I wake up in bed like none of this ever happened?” A sudden thought sends sparks of dread through my mind. “What if I don’t remember any of this?”

Ethan takes a deep breath but says nothing. There’s no comfort he can offer. Instead, he pulls me into a tight embrace and kisses the top of my head gently. In the distance, through the smoke and tears of the night, the sun rises. I can’t help wondering what tomorrow will bring. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much to lose or so much weight on my shoulders.

A memory slides to the front of my mind—my sisters and I sewing the royal jewels into our corsets to hide them from thieves. I remember not feeling like it was going to happen, like it was a waste of time. But Mama was panicked, so we sewed all night long until our fingers were raw. When I finished mine, Mama held it up to me.

“Here, Anya. This will be your armor. It will protect you from the dark things that come for us tomorrow.”

I feel a tear slide down my cheek.

She was wrong, my mama. Nothing could have protected me—or any of us—from the dark things that came for us. Just like nothing can protect me now. Now I have to be the armor for Ethan, Lex, and all the people I can still hold onto—all the people I love.

Because I don’t think I can survive losing them again.