Embrace the Night

12

Something was wrong.

Every hair on the back of Merek’s neck rose, his instincts shivering to life. In the three weeks since they’d left Arizona, he hadn’t had a hint of suspicion that anything was amiss, but he stood looking at the woman behind the ticket counter at the Portland airport, and he knew. The way her eyes widened slightly when she entered his information into the computer, the way her bored expression flattened to emptiness.

They’d been blown.

“You know what? I need to make a cal before I check in.” He gave the lady a grin he hoped looked genuine, swept his falsified passport out of her hand, and stepped back to let the next impatient traveler buy him a few seconds before she cal ed security. From the corner of his eye, he noted when she picked up a phone.

Alex and Chloe were occupying a few of the uncomfortable chairs grouped near the ticketing area. They hadn’t checked in yet. Merek insisted they switch things around when they flew. Sometimes they paired off; sometimes they al traveled separately. Same plane, but they didn’t sit together, didn’t acknowledge each other. Nothing would link them.

This time, Merek had been alone, the others together. He thanked the gods he’d gotten in line first.

Digging through his duffle for a cel phone he didn’t need, he pretended to lose his grip and scatter the contents on the floor near their chairs.

Alex hopped up to help him gather his belongings. Merek offered a thankful smile and kept his tone cheerful. “Our IDs have been flagged, and security is on the way. I’l handle them.” He nodded an easy farewel to Alex and Chloe, as if he’d never met them before and never expected to see them again. He could only pray he did see them again. Soon. But he had to get them out of here now. “I want you to very casual y walk away from me, get in a cab, and leave the airport. I’l meet you in exactly two hours in the mystery section at Powel ’s.” The bookstore was enormous, the size of a ful city block, and had gobbled up the surrounding stores into a sprawling maze of interconnected buildings. It was packed with people and a warren of bookshelves easy to get lost in. The perfect place to disappear, if necessary. “If I’m not there on time, you know what to do.”

Chloe gave him a dismissive wave before she set her purse in her lap and rooted around in it. She came up with a tube of gloss, slicked it on her lips, and dropped it back into the abyss of her bag.

“Come on, honey. Let’s go.” She gave Alex an impatient glance as she stood, looped her purse over her shoulder, then picked up her suitcase and walked away.

“I hate Oregon.” Alex shrugged into his backpack and fol owed her. Neither of them looked back, and they hopped into a cab. A relieved breath eased out of Merek’s lungs when they pul ed away from the curb and sped away.

They were safe. For now.

The relief was short-lived. A uniformed guard slid into view. He wasn’t Normal. Elf, maybe. Senses Merek had honed as a cop made that conclusion register before he’d even given the question his ful attention.

A shimmer formed before his eyes, visions of how this could play out. Now that Alex and Chloe were out of the picture, he could see again. Possibilities, chances, probabilities. Some were uglier than others. He discarded those, making a snap decision, which made stil more potentials dance before him, overlaying the reality of the bustling airport. Reflex kept the two pictures sharp, al owed him to react to what was true and interpret what was possible.

Adrenaline ripped through his system as his heart picked up speed, but he control ed the need to run, to fight, to hunt those who hunted him. Pul ing in a deep breath, he let it ease out. Before it had completely left his lungs, he’d shifted his duffle to his left shoulder, leaving his right hand free if he needed to grab the weapon tucked into the smal of his back, concealed by his jacket.

Ducking into a men’s room, he used a pocketknife to jimmy the door to a janitor’s closet and shut it behind him. No spel s, nothing for another Magickal to detect.

The restroom door opened, and the elf stepped in. Merek froze, unsure how developed the elf’s senses were. He might be able to detect a life-form in here, but Merek’s visions showed that wasn’t likely.

Another possibility sliced into his mind, crystal clear and certain. A second security guard would walk in behind the first, helping with the search for Merek. The second man was the greater danger, and more likely to find what he was looking for. The two of them together could take Merek. If that happened, he was on an unstoppable col ision course with Smith. As much as he’d like a piece of that bastard, it would leave no one to protect Chloe and Alex.

Fuck.

Slapping open the door, he grabbed the passing elf from behind. The swift squeak of the bathroom door behind him told Merek the second man had entered. Struggling with the elf, Merek felt a nightstick slam into the back of his skul . There was heavy magic to power the blow. Dark spots exploded before his eyes, and he felt himself fal ing. The breath blasted from his lungs when he made impact with the tile floor, and he choked when the elf landed on top of him. Sucking in air, he swung out, a quick snap of fist meeting jaw and the first security guard slumped against Merek’s chest. He blinked hard, trying to clear the cartwheeling stars, and heard the baton whistling toward his head again. He jolted, heaved out from under the unconscious elf, who took the blow instead.

The world spun in sickening circles before him, a kaleidoscope of colors. He lifted a hand, shot out a spel , and it col ided midair with one launched by the second guard. The burst of light made his stomach lurch, and he let himself col apse flat to the tile, narrowly missing being hit by another spel . He flicked his fingers, took the guard out at the knees. He’d meant to go higher, hit the chest, but his aim wasn’t quite straight.

A scream from the guard as he col apsed to the floor beside his companion rang in Merek’s ears, jabbing into his brain. He jackknifed in reaction, but the movement made him sicker. He saw the guard with both hands locked around his leg, writhing in agony. Merek wheezed, sent a final spel , and left the second guard drooling beside the first.

Rol ing to his hands and knees, Merek grabbed for one of the porcelain sinks to drag himself slowly to his feet. Then he bent forward and vomited his guts up.

Even with his skul ringing, the future stil played out before his eyes. Only now the overlapping layers of vision made him gag on whatever was left in his stomach. The paths he needed to take to make it back to the welcoming blankness of his people rooted in his thoughts. He rinsed his mouth, wiped the sweat from his forehead, staggered to the janitor’s closet to pick up his duffle, and escaped.

The red and white marquee sign that read POWELL’S BOOKS—USED & NEW BOOKS was the most welcome thing Merek had ever seen. The drizzling rain felt like a hammer blow every time a drop landed on his skin, and he wanted to get out of it. His gaze swept the street one last time before he crossed toward the mammoth bookstore.

His movements were slower than he liked, his step careful. He was on autopilot. Just make sure no one fol owed him. Just get to Alex and Chloe. Just be certain they were safe.

The lights inside the store blinded him when he walked in, and he shuddered, fighting a wave of nausea.

He paused for a long moment, trying to remember where he was going. Mystery. The mystery section at Powel ’s. Where he’d told them to meet him.

Reading the signs to get to the right area hurt his eyes, the words blurring and streaking, a halo of light forming around every person he passed.

And there they were. Two dark heads of hair bent together, one so deep a brown it was almost black, one a shining blue-black like a raven’s wing. Chloe. She looked up at him, pushing that raven hair from her face.

Her relieved smile made his heart skip a beat, but then her grin faded when she got a good look at him.

“Merek, what happened?”

“Took . . .” Somehow his tongue didn’t want to shape the words correctly, but he forced himself to speak distinctly. “Took a knock to the head from an airport security guard.”

Alex’s hand closed around his shoulder, and Merek startled because he hadn’t seen the wolf move. The quick motion was like an anvil slamming into him, and his view tilted sideways.

“I’ve got you, Merek.” It was Alex’s voice, but he sounded like he’d spoken from a great distance. Hadn’t the boy just been next to him? Merek thought so, but he wasn’t quite sure. He blinked a few times, but couldn’t see clearly, couldn’t think clearly.

He blinked again, and things had changed. What, he wasn’t sure, but he felt a shift in space and time. A soft rocking motion told him he was in a moving vehicle. It was disorienting, and he didn’t like that, but when he pul ed in a breath, he smel ed his lover’s sweet scent. “Chloe.”

“Yes, Merek. I’m here.” Her hand stroked his forehead, and it felt good. He felt good, energized, but that wasn’t right either.

“I got hit by a police baton.” He frowned up at the gray fabric that covered the ceiling of the car. He was in a tilted back passenger seat. Chloe perched in the backseat behind him. Turning his head, he saw Alex behind the wheel.

Alex’s green eyes left the road for a moment, and they reflected a deep concern. “Yeah, you had a pretty nasty concussion. Chloe put you under a healing spel , so you’d sleep until you were completely better.”

“I didn’t want to try to do any kind of quick healing on you. The brain can be so delicate to work with, and I just don’t have the skil s to rush it.” Her fingers brushed through Merek’s hair, and he felt her testing him with her magic. “This was the best I could do.”

He reached up and caught her hand. “You did good, sweetheart. I feel fine. Great, in fact.”

Groping under his seat, he felt for the lever so he could sit up. The sun was setting, its light breaking through the overcast clouds. There were trees and a few houses along the road, but nothing else to indicate their location. A prickle of unease ran down his spine. “Where are we?”

This vehicle wasn’t a rental, of that Merek was certain. Someone’s graduation tassel hung from the rearview mirror, and his shoes stuck to the soda on the floorboards. Whoever owned this car was a total slob. The long silence made him glance around. Chloe was wedged into the middle of a nonexistent backseat. Ophelia sat beside her, using the back of Alex’s seat as a scratching post.

He looked to Alex again. “Do I want to know where the car came from?”

“Stole it,” he replied, more cheerful than Merek had ever heard him. “I reprogrammed the onboard computer and scrambled some records so the owner wil have a bitch of a time proving the car even belonged to him in order to report it stolen. We switched out the plates of six cars in a mal parking lot of similar makes and models, then drove over to a parking garage at Portland State University and did the same.”

Smart. It would take them a while to sort that mess out. Merek wasn’t going to say it out loud. “You want to tel me what al this is for? Where are we, and where exactly are we going in this stolen vehicle?”

He could feel the tension ratchet up in the smal car, saw Alex glance in the rearview mirror to meet Chloe’s eyes. The teen swal owed. “Yeah. There’s a story for that.”

“So.” Chloe took a deep breath. “Here’s what we figured. We can’t use the IDs or credit cards Mil ie gave us, and if those are blown, then any of the properties she owns are out as wel . We haven’t been using them, but not using them has seriously depleted our cash fund. And now we can’t use them because we don’t know which are covered by Smith’s men and which aren’t.”

Alex took up the thread of the explanation as he slowed the vehicle to make a turn onto a narrow two-lane road. “We need somewhere safe, somewhere I can Change, somewhere away from Magickals, somewhere not related to anyone we know.”

“ And . . .” Back to Chloe, and Merek was already sure he wasn’t going to like where this was going any more than he liked riding in a stolen car. These two were too damn smart. “We are running low on cash, but contacting Mil ie for more would be a bad plan, since they probably know she helped us with the IDs.”

He scrubbed a hand down his face. “Cut to the chase. Where have we gone?”

“You’re going to be pissed.” The glance Alex gave him was worried, and that in itself worried Merek.

“We stopped and picked up groceries after we . . . after we got off the ferry from . . . Seattle,” Chloe whispered the last word, as though that would somehow dampen the effect.

He jerked around in his seat to stare at her. “No.”

“Yes.” The stubbornly mutinous look was so familiar he wanted to shake her. He usual y found it endearing, but he was usual y in control of the situation. “It’s already done anyway. We’re here.”

He snarled. “You know how far werewolf senses can stretch!”

Rearing back against the seat, she held up a placating hand. “Wel , we just passed through Seattle. We didn’t stop. We’re on Bainbridge Island.”

As if that would reassure him. “You have to be kidding me.”

“Tess’s aunt and uncle have a house here.” Her fingers linked together in her lap, and she began reciting calm, scientific facts as though reading a checklist. “They’re on sabbatical in Rome, and I know the security code to their place. They have no connection to me; I’ve only been here once with Tess, when the system was instal ed, and I never even met them. More important, no Magickal is going to expect another Magickal to be there.”

He clenched his jaw, looking for a way around her facts. “I don’t like it.”

“Do you have a better idea for where Alex can Change?” Her hands lifted and fel back to her lap in a helpless gesture. “We have no ID to rent a car or house or campsite and not enough cash to convince anyone to look the other way.”

Of course he didn’t have a better plan. Damn it. “This is a bad idea.”

“We’re already here. If anyone was going to sense us, it’s a done deal. We can take a ferry back, if you want, but we might as wel stay until the ful moon is over. It’s just for a few days, and it’l buy us the time we need to figure out what to do next. We know it’s not ideal, but we don’t have that kind of option on the table, do we?” Alex spoke for the first time in several minutes.

“No, we don’t.” Chloe reached over and patted the boy on the shoulder. “I think this is the best plan we can get in the limited time we have until ful moon.”

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Merek rounded on the kid. “Can you control yourself surrounded by that many Normals?”

“Yes.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swal owed, but the obstinate set of his jaw said he was serious.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. I can.” He nodded for emphasis, taking his eyes off the road for a split second to glance back at Chloe, the person who’d believed in him first, who had trusted him and reassured him when he’d had a silver bul et punched through his gut. Then he met Merek’s gaze, his green eyes clear and certain. “I won’t hurt anyone. I can control it.”

“Shit.” Merek slumped, his face dropping into his hand for a moment. He rubbed his fingers against his eyes.

“It’s going to be okay.” Chloe patted his shoulder, and it pissed him off more that he liked her touch, craved it.

“This is a bad—”

“Do you have a better one?” Her fingers tightened on his shoulder, a reassuring squeeze, an apology. He shrugged out of her grip.

“I would have said so if I did.” He sighed and dropped his hand.

“I know.”

The last place he wanted them to be was Seattle, but the damnable truth was he didn’t have a better idea of where to go to keep Alex safe for the ful moon. Chloe was right about al of it, and their future was as foggy to Merek as it always had been. This could be the perfect plan, or it could be utter disaster. Al he could do now was mitigate any damage.

He jerked the cel phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. He placed a secure cal to Mil ie, got her voice mail and left her a message, then he tried Luca. Same thing. He tried to rein in a growl. “Caval i, this is Kingston. We’re on Bainbridge Island for the ful moon. Don’t send anyone over to check on us because I don’t want undue attention. I’l cal again if anything goes down, so be prepared to send in the cavalry.”

Closing the phone, he watched a barn-like two-story house come into view. Another wave of icy, impotent fury ripped through him. He just hoped this wasn’t the mistake that got them kil ed. Or captured. With Smith’s track record, Merek wasn’t sure which one would be the better option. Probably death.

“Fuck.”

“Fuck.”

Chloe slapped her hand against the shingled siding of the Jones’s house and glared at the keypad as if she could wil it to do what she wanted.

“What?” Alex’s quiet voice sounded behind her.

“The security code isn’t working.” She blew out a frustrated breath, shrugging her shoulders to work out the tension. Hours of sitting cramped in the miniscule backseat while she hovered over a pale, unconscious Merek had done nothing to make this easier. She’d never forget the way her heart had literal y stopped when her strong warlock had keeled over. The fact that he was obviously annoyed with the situation didn’t help either. She didn’t even want to consider his reaction when he found out she couldn’t get in the house as she’d claimed she could.

The wolf nudged her out of the way to scrutinize the panel. “Are you sure it’s the right one?”

“It’s Tess’s date of birth.” She lifted her hands and let them drop. “So, yes, I’m sure.”

He rocked back on his heels, sliding his hands in his pockets. His dark brows drew together as he thought, then he gave a definitive nod. “I can get around this.”

“What are we getting around?” Merek rumbled from the far side of the porch. He mounted the steps, a few grocery bags gripped in his hands. Alex had stayed in the car with the sleeping Merek while Chloe had stocked up with enough supplies to hole up until after ful moon.

If they could get into the house. Chloe’s muscles tightened even further as dread curdled in her bel y. She hated this, hated not being on the same side as Merek. Neither of them was backing down, because they both thought they were right. She pul ed in a deep breath. “They’ve changed the security code, but Alex says he can get around it.”

The teen glanced back at Merek. “I’m going to have to break the no gadget modification rule.”

He snorted. “You already broke that when you hijacked the car.”

A flashing grin answered that, and Chloe rol ed her eyes. She actual y thought her godson might be having the time of his life with this little day trip. Sicko. “Even if you can disable the security system, that won’t get it to unlock the door like Tess made it do. And there wil be no magic used here. Nothing to make it obvious Magickals are in residence. No spel s.”

The kid cocked his head, considered the problem, offered: “I can use a little wolf strength on it. One quick push, and we’l be in.”

Merek gave a growl worthy of a werewolf, his gaze flinty as it slid over her. Oh, yeah. He was not happy about this little snafu. She couldn’t even blame him. She should have considered that Tess would have her uncle change the code. Probably on a regular basis. Merek slid his wal et out of his back pocket and flipped it open, pul ing out a few metal tools. “We can do this with no magic of any kind.”

Interest flickered in Alex’s eyes, and he arched an eyebrow. “You know how to pick locks? Sweet.”

“Security system first.” Merek jerked his chin toward the keypad, and Alex’s enthusiasm slid away until he wore his most solemn expression.

“Right.” The wolf fished his cel phone out of his pocket, then dug some tools out of his backpack.

Unfastening the face of the panel, he pul ed it out to reveal the maze of wires inside. He hooked his cel phone into the wires, and the screen lit with information Chloe had never seen on a phone before. He got to work, his face set in lines of fierce concentration.

A few minutes later, the panel beeped, went black, and then flashed back to life. Alex set the keypad back in place and typed in a series of numbers. “Okay, I wiped everything and reset the code to 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0. Lame, but easy to remember.”

Chloe finished his thought for him. “But having to wipe everything also means the keystrokes to unlock the door aren’t in the program anymore.”

“Yep, and that would take equipment I don’t have with me.” He shrugged. “What’s a little breaking and entering after grand theft auto?” Pul ing her out of the way, he motioned Merek forward. “Your turn.”

The reminder of al the laws they were bending just made her warlock scowl more ferociously, and she sighed. He had the door opened in under forty-five seconds, which Alex clocked on his wristwatch. Chloe went in to the guest bedroom on the ground floor and put away her belongings. It stung more than she could have imagined when Merek fol owed Alex up the stairs to claim rooms on the second floor.

Ophelia padded into Chloe’s room and made herself at home on the bed. Chloe took a moment to pet her, and then went to close al the curtains on the bottom floor, knowing Merek would do the same upstairs.

She watched the sunlight fading on the cloudy horizon as she shut the last set of blinds.

Turning on every light she passed on the way to the kitchen, she went searching for pots and pans to cook dinner. After a minute or two, she heard the males tromp downstairs and out the door to finish unloading the car. Neither of them was speaking, which didn’t bode wel for the evening. She wondered how long Merek could hold on to a grudge. Not long, she hoped, but she didn’t know him wel enough to be certain.

They spent the next hour mostly silent, and Alex turned in early, without getting his usual self-defense lesson from Merek. The boy just escaped to his bedroom upstairs for a loud television show. She had an idea that he was hoping to drown out any arguments they might have. That he assumed they’d default to screaming made her heart ache and told her things about Jaya’s home life that she wished she didn’t know.

Merek left her in the kitchen to do the dishes and stalked into the living room. She heard him rustling around, but couldn’t figure out what he was doing. She went to peek at him, couldn’t see anything, but could stil hear him moving. Frowning, she stepped into the room and saw him kneeling near a wal , a pile of night-lights next to him on the floor while he fitted one into a socket.

Her lips shook when she opened her mouth, and she had to press them together for a moment before she thought she could talk without tearing up. Even pissed off and not speaking to her, he was stil taking care of her, plugging in night-lights to save her from the dark.

“I love you,” she blurted. The words just fel out, shocking the shit out of her. Until they were out there, she hadn’t known she was going to say them.

His muscles went rigid, his head turning slowly to stare at her in utter, dumbfounded shock. “You can’t.”

His eyes went stormy, turbulent with too many emotions for her to decipher. The words that came from his mouth sounded rough and desperate. “We’ve been together under some extreme circumstances—”

“Save the police psychobabble for someone else, Detective. I’m the one with the medical degree, remember? I know what love is, and I love you.” She spat the words at him, but the fury burned itself out as quickly as it flared. She felt as if she’d been kicked in the stomach. Again, she needed someone more than they’d ever need her, like she’d needed Mil ie as a child. But she wouldn’t cling or make demands. She refused to be that person ever again. Not even for him. “You don’t have to feel the same, but don’t try to tel me what I feel.”

“I won’t.” He rose to his feet, the stunned look stil glazing his eyes. His mouth opened, closed, but he just stood there staring at her until she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Good night, Merek. Sleep wel . I’l see you in the morning.” Turning on her heel, she marched into her room and shut the door behind her.

She col apsed on the bed and dropped her face into her trembling hands. It hurt. Gods, how it hurt. Tears burned her eyes, but she refused to cry. She had expected this. Even then, it felt like her heart was shredding into tiny pieces, and she was bleeding to death from internal wounds. It was one thing to think she was in love alone, it was another to know it.

Yet, it was something of a relief. She had said it. It was out there. She didn’t have to hide it or worry that he’d figure it out and feel guilty or obligated. Obviously, he hadn’t felt obligated. He’d tried to talk her out of it. A laugh that was almost a sob bubbled out, and she clamped her hand over her mouth to stop it. Shoving her head between her knees, she sucked in slow, deep breaths until the need to cry—or vomit—passed.

When she felt like she had a modicum of control back, she sighed and sat up. Pushing herself to her feet made her muscles ache, and she swayed a little. She clenched her jaw and wil ed her body to do what she wanted. There was nothing to do except put one foot in front of the other and get on with it. Survive. That was her specialty, wasn’t it? A painful smile flicked over her face. She shook herself and went to shower and get ready for bed. She hadn’t slept alone in almost a month, and she didn’t relish the thought of doing so tonight.

It wasn’t just the sex. She wanted Merek near, wanted his arms around her in the night, the security of his embrace.

That wasn’t going to happen.

Scrabbling for something— anything—else to think about, her mind turned to the issue of the upcoming ful moon and Alex’s forced Change. It felt like so much longer than a single month since she’d had to dig a silver bul et out of her godson’s body. Her bel y tightened at the thought. She never wanted to live through another night like that for the rest of her life. An ironic grin twisted her lips. There were several nights in her life she’d rather not think about again.

She stuffed those thoughts away and made herself come up with a new topic, like when this whole situation was over and they could go back to their lives. Alex could be his computer genius self, headed for col ege soon. Merek could go back to the police department. She could resume her research on lycanthropy. The potion she’d made for herself had worn off weeks ago, so she now remembered her work, but there was nothing she could do about it cut off from her lab the way she was.

Even if they had the breakthrough she knew they were on the verge of, it would stil take years of testing and refining to perfect the treatment. They’d tried everything they could think of to block or regulate hormone release, inhibit magic. Synthetic chemicals, plant extracts, herbs. Everything. Some were more useful than others, but nothing had quite gotten there. The mix they had now was close. Very, very close.

She sighed in familiar frustration, scrubbing shampoo into her hair as if she could stimulate her brain into thinking up the answer. But nothing new came to her as she rinsed off, or as she hopped out of the shower, or as she finished preparing for bed. A disgusted growl rumbled in her chest. She’d gone over and over this so many times. The only thing she’d ever seen keep a werewolf in human form on ful moon was when Alex was shot with a silver bul et.

“Silver.” She jerked as if she’d been shot herself. Holy shit. That was it. Yes! If they used the current formula they had and added trace amounts of silver, it just might work. She could keep Alex from having to Change. She could save him, just as Jaya had always dreamed. She could increase the life expectancy of an entire Magickal race. Elation bubbled up inside her, and she danced out of the bathroom, twirling in a wobbly pirouette. “Silver, silver, sil ver.”

“What about silver?”

“Gah!” She jolted, reeling back until she bounced off the doorjamb. Clapping her hand against her chest, she tried to slow her rocketing heartbeat as she stared at Merek lounging across her bed. “Gods, you scared me.”

“Sorry.” Though he didn’t sound remorseful. “What about silver?”

A huge smile bloomed across her face, and at that moment she didn’t care that she was on his shit list or that he didn’t want her like she wanted him. Years of her work had just clicked into place. This used to be what she lived for—she stomped down on the thought that she’d have to learn to live for it again. “I think that’s it. What’l refine the formula we were working on. If we add trace amounts of silver, it would stop the Change.”

His eyes narrowed in thought. “It took more than trace amounts to stop Alex’s Change last month. It almost kil ed him in the process.”

“Yes, but we aren’t going to shoot anyone, and we won’t have the complications of trauma and blood loss.

Plus, trace amounts combined with the other chemicals we’re using just might do the trick. I have to run tests. Lots of tests.” She slammed her hands on her hips. “I want my lab back, damn it.”

He jerked upright, his fingers fisting at his sides. “Too bad. If you think for even a second you’re taking a field trip over to Seattle, you’re out of your mind.”

She huffed out a breath, and her elation dimmed. “Please. I’m not an idiot, despite what you may think.”

“I never said you were an idiot.” He sighed, his hands unknotting.

“We did our best in a bad situation, Merek. I know you’re not comfortable being this close to Seattle, and neither am I, but you were unavailable for consultation at the time.” The ghastly pale expression on his face from that morning flashed through her mind. “I’m sorry if you don’t like this, but we couldn’t stay where we were, and I made an executive decision.”

“I know. I know you did your best, and I appreciate your hauling my unconscious ass along for the ride.” He shook his head. “I’m not happy with this situation, but that means I’m worried for you, not angry at you.”

“Thank you for making that distinction. And you’re welcome. You would have done the same.” But he stil hadn’t addressed how she’d spil ed out her love al over him and he’d looked at her like she’d sprouted horns and a forked tail.

He met her gaze, and she knew his thinking had fol owed the same path as hers. “Are you angry at me?”

“No.” Not angry, hurt. She swal owed and looked away, unable to hold his gaze. “I’m not mad.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

The question sent a pang through her, and self-preservation warred with need. “No.”

“Good.” His breath eased out. “There are some . . . things we don’t agree on, but I don’t want to fight.”

Things. Like whether she could or should love him. Like whether they should have come to this island.

Yeah. There were some things they didn’t see eye to eye on. It was unlikely they’d come to an accord on either issue.

“I don’t want to fight either.” She offered him a wavering smile. “I just solved years worth of research. I think. We should celebrate.”

“Celebrate.” A naughty smiled flashed, the only warning she had before his hand shot out, snapped around her wrist in an iron grip, and jerked her facedown across his lap.

A squeak erupted from her, and her breath rushed out of her lungs as she hit the hard muscles of his thighs. Her hands bunched in the bedspread, her nose a bare inch from the soft fabric. “Merek!”

“What?” His voice was a silken purr. He stroked his fingers up the back of her calf, making her shiver.

Excitement whipped through her, and her nipples went rock hard in moments. “This isn’t the kind of celebration you had in mind?”

Her short laugh was incredulous. “You want to give me a celebratory spanking?”

Cool air rushed over her thighs as he drew her nightgown up and tossed it over her head. Her breath heaved in little pants, anticipation twisting within her as he cupped her buttocks in his palm. “Can you think of a better way to commemorate the occasion?”

She couldn’t.

His fingers hooked in the waistband of her panties and began working them down her legs. “Let’s get rid of these.”

A slow whimper trickled from her lips, and she arched her hips to help him ease the lace off of her.

Shrugging, she let her nightgown fal forward off her arms and onto the floor, leaving her naked. Her tongue twisted into knots, and she could do little more than moan when his cal used fingers caressed the bare globes of her backside.

“You have the sweetest little ass,” he growled.

“Oh, gods, Merek. I don’t know if—”

A sharp swat cut her off. “Too late to run, remember sweetheart?” He stroked her stinging flesh. She closed her eyes and tightened her grip on the bedspread. Far too late to run. From herself, from him, from how she felt about him. She shuddered, and he smacked her backside harder.

“Merek, I—”

“Tel me you don’t want this, and I’l stop.” He cupped both throbbing cheeks, then dipped between them to find the hot, slippery center of her. Her pussy flexed around his fingers when he penetrated her.

She panted, lifting her hips into the rough stroking of his fingers. Her mind whirled, and she scrambled to keep hold of her wits.

“Chloe—”

“Don’t stop!” She grabbed the leg of his jeans when he moved as if to set her aside. Everything in her rebel ed at his withdrawing now. She didn’t think she could handle being left alone. Her feelings were too raw and tumbled, from agony to elation to lust and back to agony. “Don’t stop. We’re celebrating.”

“Yes, we are.”

She smiled against the bedspread when she felt his fingers slide over her backside again. His cock was an iron bar against her hip, so she knew that no matter how jumbled his own emotions were, he did want her. It was enough. It had to be. Even if it hurt that she knew he might not be capable of giving her more. She understood why he might not want her to love him. His lost family would make him just as wary of love, of needing anyone, as she had always been. But it was too late to save herself. It had been from the very beginning, whether she’d admitted it or not. So, she’d take what she could get for as long as she could get it. She pressed herself into his stroking hand, raising her ass to fit against his palm.

His hand lifted away from her skin, came back down in a light pat that made her whimper in frustration.

That wasn’t what she wanted. She needed the intensity that would burn away everything else. The love, the anguish. Al of it. She undulated on his lap, sighing when he slapped her left cheek, then her right. Hard.

Harder.

Desire slammed into her, no slow building tide, but a crashing wave that dragged her under and drowned her. Wetness coated the lips of her pussy, and her inner wal s contracted. Quicker, sharper swats, randomly spread over her ass, her upper thighs. Her flesh swel ed, stung, burned. She cried out when he stopped, moaned when he thrust his hand between her legs. He flicked her clit, and she jolted, let out a broken groan.

Fil ing her sex with three thick fingers, he worked her slowly, but it wasn’t enough. She bowed her back, pushing them both faster.

“None of that, sweetheart,” he scolded. And he took his hand away from her needy pussy and brought it down hard on her ass. The crack of flesh on flesh aroused her. Only with Merek would she want this; only with Merek could she surrender everything.

Each sharp spank reverberated through her entire body, made her sex clench, made her wetter. She was so close. He wasn’t even inside her, and she was going to come for him. When he paused again to tease her clit and fuck her pussy with his fingers, she shattered. Fiery heat and icy tingles sluiced over her flesh as her sex spasmed again and again. He smacked her ass, building her need until she crested once more, bucked helplessly against his hand.

Her heart pounded, made the blood roar in her ears. She turned her head to look up at him and meet his beautiful eyes. His face was tight with lust, red staining his high cheekbones. His chest heaved with each breath as he stared down at her.

“Make love with me, Merek.” A low sob ripped from her when he cupped her aching backside. “Let’s forget everything. Just for the night. Please, Merek. I want you.” A tear slipped free when she heard his defeated groan.

Ignoring the voices in her head that whispered this might, in fact, be her last night with him, she turned herself over to his pleasure. Whatever tomorrow brought, she intended to enjoy these final hours with him.

For the first time in her life, she wished the night would never end.

Forget? Merek wanted to forget everything, just as she’d said. Forget he’d failed to defend himself wel enough and they’d had to drag him to safety. Forget that he’d woken to find they were a stone’s throw away from danger. Forget he couldn’t keep her forever. Forget that she loved him.

He clamped down on that thought so fast, it made his own head spin. No. Not again. Never again. He knew that road only led to a dead end. Her dead end. He couldn’t live with that. Never again. This was temporary. He’d always known that, and her love changed nothing. In fact, it only made it more necessary to walk away from her. Soon. An instinct that wasn’t clairvoyance told him it would al be over soon. How and why and exactly when was beyond his abilities.

More than ever before, he hated his own weakness and how it kept him from protecting her.

He closed his eyes when her fingers brushed his leg, wrenching him back to the present, to the grinding needs of his body. His cock throbbed, so stiff with his lust, he shook. She lay nude, draped across his lap, her pale skin flushed from his spanking, cream slicking her thighs from where she’d come for him.

“Merek,” she whispered, and he broke.

Hauling her upright, he pul ed her astride his thighs. He shoved his hand into her hair, held her stil for his kiss. This time, this once, he had to have al of her, had to give her everything. No holding back, no pretending this dance wouldn’t end. She melted against him, thrusting her tongue into his mouth. He groaned and locked his arms around her, so she was plastered against him. Gods, the feel of her was unbearable it was so perfect.

Her fingers slid under his shirt, pul ing it over his head, and he shuddered, loving her hands on him. Her touch fulfil ed needs he wasn’t even wil ing to admit he had. He just wanted her, wanted more. He slid one hand down to cup the soft, smooth curve of her ass and pul her tighter to him. She moaned and twisted in his arms, rubbing her nipples over his chest, her movement driving him crazy.

He used his grip on the silken strands of her hair to pul her head back so he could bite his way down her slim throat. The taste of her, the feminine smel of her, sank hooks of need inside him. She arched her body into him, her legs wrapping around his hips as she tried to ride his dick through his pants. He forced her back into a deeper bend so he could suck her little nipples into his mouth one at a time. He drew hard on the tight crests, batting them with his tongue, shoving them against the roof of his mouth.

A choked cry spil ed from her throat, and the musky scent of her arousal intensified. Her hands scrabbled for purchase on his back, and he could feel the heat and magic gather inside her. “No spel s, sweetheart.

Not here. Not tonight. No spel s.”

“Merek, I need you.” Her voice was whisper-soft, but he heard it anyway. “No spel s. Just you.”

She didn’t say she loved him again, and he told himself it was for the best, that he didn’t want to hear the words. Even as he recognized the lie, he forced himself to set her away from him, and caught her elbow when she staggered, her eyes glazed and her expression dazed with lust. It made his cock ache to be buried inside her.

“Yes. Now.” He stripped out of his boxers, pants and boots, left them in a tangled heap on the floor. He reached for her, and she met him halfway, pressing herself against his chest and rising on tiptoe to kiss him.

Having her in his embrace made some white-hot emotion expand in his chest until he couldn’t breathe.

He crushed that, wrestling it into the deepest, darkest corner of his soul where he wouldn’t have to acknowledge it. Instead, he focused on the physical, on Chloe, on his woman in his arms. A groan rumbled in his chest. He slid his hands down her back, palmed the hot globes of her ass, and smiled against her mouth when she whimpered and wriggled.

The satin skin of her bel y rubbed over his cock, and he choked. He backed her up until she hit the bed, smoothly rol ing them onto the mattress. She hissed when her buttocks slid against the sheets, and some dark, possessive part of himself liked that she could feel his mark on her, that she’d be wearing it for a while since she wasn’t al owed to use a healing spel on herself. Every time she moved, sat, lay in bed, she’d be reminded of him. Oh, yes. He liked that a lot.

Shifting them onto their sides, he pul ed her close, looped her thigh over his. “Is this al right? Not too painful?”

“Good. Perfect. Yes.” She wound her fingers through his hair, tugging him close for a kiss. Her tongue twined with his, and he cherished the moment with her. A moment that was slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t remember the last time anything had felt so right. Before Chloe . . . years. Maybe never.

He held her tighter, every inch of her welded to his front. Yes. He wanted that. The head of his cock brushed her wet core, and she jolted forward, tilting her hips in offering. He wanted to wait, to draw this time out as long as possible, but he couldn’t. He needed her too much. A quick thrust, and he was hilted inside her, squeezed tight by her heated channel.

Closing his eyes, he had to grit his teeth to keep from coming then and there. Only Chloe could shred his control like this, and the emotional knot within him twisted at the knowledge that far too soon there would be nothing and no one that could do this to him. Just as he’d always preferred it. He blew out a harsh breath, ran his hands over every part of her he could reach, as if he could burn the feel of her into his mind, as if the memory could sustain him.

Somehow, she understood, touched him everywhere, kissed him deeper, gave him exactly what he needed. Everything. They rocked together slowly, savored each other. Sweat sealed their bodies, and their breathing grew ragged between kisses, as her breasts slid against his chest, and his pelvis rubbed over her clitoris. The fire that built within him wanted to rage out of control, but he couldn’t let this end. Not now.

Not yet.

Not yet.

Her sex began to clench around his cock every time he entered her, and he held on to his restraint by the tips of his fingers. The little cries and moans that spil ed from her lips told him just how close she was to coming for him. She writhed against him like a cat in heat. Orgasm fisted in his bel y, shudders racking his body. His groan was as helpless and hopeless as he felt. Too soon. Too soon to let go. Too soon to lose her.

“Merek,” she sobbed, ripping her mouth from his. She arched hard, the muscles in her thighs tensing as she impaled herself on his cock, took him deep, deeper than before.

The way her pussy milked him made his thoughts scatter, made orgasm inevitable. He pounded inside her, let her drag him into the abyss. Come spurted from him, fil ed her tight channel, and stil he held himself deep, unwil ing to lose this connection with her.

They shivered together, arms wrapped around each other, aftershocks quaking through both of them. She buried her face in his chest, and he could feel the wetness of her tears. His emotions gave another vicious wrench, but he ignored them, refused to accept them. Later. Later, he would deal with his own feelings.

Now was for Chloe.

He cradled her close, stroking back her damp hair. “Shh. Don’t cry, sweetheart. Shh. Don’t cry.”

She kissed him fiercely in response, demanding without words that he make her forget. Everything. Her tongue thrust into his mouth, and his cock went rock hard, thrusting into her pussy.

And he held her tight, pushed away reality, made love with her again and again and again. Just for the night. Just as she’d asked.

It was al he had to give her.