Early to Death, Early to Rise

Eight

Where the devil am I? I thought, watching my fingers move as if through a blue haze as I grabbed the back of a rolling chair and swung it to face the computer before me. Holy cow, I’m in Shoe’s room! And those don’t actually look like my fingers….

“See how you like it,” I felt my lips say; then I heard it an instant later, masculine and ticked.

Crap! I’m in Shoe? I thought, but I had sat down, or Shoe had, rather, and I turned my head without wanting to in order to make sure the door was shut. Leaning back in the chair, I looked at the closed curtains. A faint musing intruded in my thoughts that I’d seen someone out there, running away.

Barnabas and me, I thought as I looked at hands that weren’t mine, but clearly Shoe couldn’t sense me as I could sense him. It was freaky, and I didn’t like the blue tint everything had. I could hear his heartbeat and feel his breath in him, sensing it go stale an instant before he exhaled. His foot itched in his shoe, and it was driving me nuts that he didn’t scratch it. I was hot and irritable, and for the first time in months, I remembered what it was to be hungry.

I’m flashing forward, I thought, the memory of adrenaline washing through me to mix with Shoe’s anger. An instant before it happens.

“This is going to be good,” I heard Shoe mutter as he leaned forward and tapped his fingers on the desk in a fast rhythm. “No one will be able to prove it was me. I’m smarter than all you lamebrains think.”

My fingers were stiff as the tapping turned into a smack on the desk. “God, this computer is slow,” I heard myself mutter, feeing an emotion of irritation that wasn’t mine.

Shoe, no! You’re going to kill people! I thought, trying to get him to hear me, but without any indication that he’d sensed me, he stood and put his ear to the door, listening for Ace.

Damn it, I knew it wouldn’t be that easy, but I could feel the desperation growing in both of us as I watched everything happen, unable to stop it, unable to make myself be heard in his head.

Agitated, Shoe chewed on a fingernail as the drive hummed. Clean, clean, everything has to be so friggin’ clean, I heard him think as he scraped the ink out from under his nail, then flicked it to the middle of the room. I’ve got to get out of here, came echoing into our shared mind.

Shoe, stop! I thought, screaming into his brain, but he stood before the computer and shoved the chair back and fidgeted, waiting. God! Could the piece of crap be any slower?

Finally the disc finished and the drawer slid open. I reached for it, and though I couldn’t see it, I knew he was smiling at the image of the dripping black bird. He jammed it into a back pocket, and a flood of emotion slipped into me.

He was so out of here. He’d known him his entire life, and this was how he was treated? They’d all know tomorrow at school. He’d be sure everyone knew who was responsible for everything. And his so-called friend could curl up and die, for all he cared.

Shoe! I exclaimed, but a heavier wash of tinted blue obscured my vision.

The world seemed to turn inside out, and I floundered. Again I was lost in the black fabric of time, lit from the bright line of a million conscious thoughts. A flash of blue intruded, and with a pinpoint of explosion, I was back. Sort of.

I don’t feel so good, I thought, and then a wave of satisfaction I didn’t know the source of swallowed everything else. I couldn’t see anything. A blue so deep it was almost black hazed my vision until that was all there was, but I knew I was in someone’s mind. They were comfortable, and I could feel a heartbeat…smell food. My fingers were greasy, and I felt a pang of hunger when I realized I was eating something salty.

As if coming through a blanket, I could hear a TV sitcom, the only thing clear being the laugh track. Behind it was a woman’s voice, the sound of the pauses and hesitations making me think she was on the phone.

“No,” she said. “They won’t let anyone in, especially the volunteers. They’re the top suspects, but the entire hospital is under investigation.”

I felt my chest move as I chuckled, a flush of satisfaction making me both happy and angry. Shoe was pleased, but I was mad. Not that he could tell.

But this hasn’t happened yet, I thought, thinking I must be farther out into the future, because the only thing that was clear were voices. That and my hunger. Man, I’d missed that, and my mouth watered as I felt myself crunch down on a chip.

“No!” the woman said, sounding appalled. “Three people died. It took them an unreal four hours to even know they had a problem. They could have lost twice that many. They think maybe it’s a disgruntled employee. The firewall didn’t catch it because someone put it there. It wasn’t through the internet.”

Shoe, you are slime, I thought as he chuckled, shoving chips into his mouth and turning the TV down so he could hear better. I couldn’t see the remote, but I could feel it. And why was it that sound traveled better through time than vision?

“Yes, an inside job,” the woman was saying. “And they’re going to get the little perp.”

Instead of fear, I felt pleasure. It was all Shoe, of course, and I tried to give him a headache. Here I thought he was an okay guy, but being in his head had cured me of that.

“They’ve got the disc,” she said. “Tracked it to the terminal it came in on. All they need to do now is match it to the computer that burned it. Isn’t that something?” she said loudly. “Yes, they can do that. Like matching the ballistics of a bullet. They’re only interviewing people right now, but the search warrants will come. You know they will. The idiot put a label on it. It might be a kid, since the same thing happened at the school yesterday.”

My lips moved, and I heard a whispered, “Ooooh, I’m gonna get your ass busted.”

Shoe! I exclaimed into my mind, but it was only a dream, a possibility—it hadn’t even happened yet—and I felt a surge of frustration when every single sound cycled down to a pinpoint of bluish black until there was nothing, no voices, no touch…nothing.

For an instant I hung there, not knowing what was going to happen next.

And then I gasped as the world flashed red.

I jerked. My arm smacked into something, and I heard Barnabas grunt. Scared, I opened my eyes. I had eyes, and they opened when I wanted them to. Thank God. It was over.

Barnabas was looking down at me. He was close, really close. Above him was the smooth, unmistakable roof of a car. The muffled stillness of being shut in pressed against my ears. “Uh,” I stammered, thinking he looked terrified. “Why are you holding me?”

His mouth dropped open, and his eyes flashed silver for a second. “Stars to dust, what happened?” he said as his grip on me loosened. “Are you okay?”

He let me slip to the seat beside him, and I sat up, shaking as I brushed the purple tips of my hair out of my eyes. We were in the backseat of a van, and it looked like we were still in Shoe’s neighborhood. Holding a hand to my stomach, I glanced at Barnabas and remembered his wings. They weren’t there now, but maybe they were just an instant before or behind us in time. Before the now and the next? I almost thought I could see them if I squinted.

“Everything went blue,” I said. “Where are we?”

Barnabas exhaled softly and wiped a hand across his forehead. “Someone’s van,” he said, shifting his shoulders as if trying to relax. “It was open. You were crying about the stars. Once you couldn’t see them, you calmed down—somewhat. Madison, what happened? You just went all stiff.”

I touched my face, realizing it was wet. Unable to look at him, I wiped it off. “You’ve never seen anyone do that before?” I asked, seeing my hand shake. The two red stripes on my fingernails looked funny. “Ron, maybe?”

From the corner of my sight, I watched him shake his head. “You scared the ever-loving feather dust out of me. I’ve never…I’ve never even heard of…What happened?”

I couldn’t tell if I was hungry or if I was going to be sick. I felt like I hadn’t eaten in weeks. And I hadn’t. “I think it was a flash forward,” I said, thinking, This is my job? I’m going to do this how often? I had to find my body, like, yesterday. “Everything went blue, and I could see your wings,” I finished, feeling ill.

Barnabas cleared his throat. “Why would seeing the stars hurt?”

Turning to him, I shrugged. I honestly couldn’t remember. It was as if my mind had blocked it out. Maybe the human mind couldn’t take that much beauty. “I don’t know,” I said softly. “But, Barnabas, I watched Shoe uploading the virus into a computer disc. I was him, but he couldn’t hear me, even when I told him to stop. Then things shifted, and I felt his satisfaction when he heard about the people dying at the hospital. The guy is whacked! I don’t understand it. He looks so normal.”

“No wonder Ron never said anything about his flash forwards,” Barnabas said, his brown eyes holding heavy concern. “Madison, it was awful. It was as if you weren’t all there. I thought if I let you go, you might…vanish. Like your being dead took away your anchor to get back. Your amulet wasn’t keeping you grounded to the time lines. I was.”

Fear slid through me. “Were there black wings?”

His shook his head, but the look in his eyes scared me. “No. But I thought if I let you go, you’d be gone,” he said. “I’m supposed to be keeping you safe. I’ve never been that terrified.” His lips parted as he searched for words, and I swear, if I had a heart, it would have skipped a beat at the worry in his eyes. “And you’re going to do it again.”

Frightened, I swallowed and looked at the fast-food child’s-meal toy on the floor, not knowing if I believed him about the black wings. What if this happened while I was at school? They’d put me on meds or something.

“It will be okay,” I said, shuddering. “I know what flashing forward feels like now. Before it happened, all the light went blue. Next time, I’ll just find a quiet room or something.”

“Blue. Like you were moving faster in time,” Barnabas said, seeming to find comfort in that there would be some warning.

A sudden thought pulled me straight, my own fear vanishing as I tossed the hair from my eyes. “And if I’ve flashed forward, then maybe Ron did, too.” Crap, if he saw what I had seen, he’d know who the mark was. I stood, almost hitting my head on the ceiling. “We have to go,” I said, feeling light-headed and weak. I’d not been hungry or ill for months, and being that way now was a shock. Maybe flashing forward had taken a lot out of my amulet.

“Where’s Nakita?” I asked when he didn’t move, still sitting on the van’s bench seat and looking at me as if I were going to break apart. “If I saw the future, then Shoe has made his decision, and his fate is set unless I can change his mind. I’ve got to talk to him before he does something stupid or Ron IDs him.”

Barnabas took my arm, drawing me back. “Madison, slow down. You’re not well.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, feeling shaky as I tugged on the door and it didn’t move. “But Ron can tell who the mark is now. He sees what I see, right? If we don’t find Shoe before whatever light reaper Ron sends out does, Nakita will kill him. Barnabas, I’ve run out of time!”

The irony of that wasn’t lost on me, and I tugged on the latch, but either I wasn’t doing it right or it had a child lock on it. Huffing in impatience, I leaned back in the seat and said, “Some help here, please?”

Silent and grim faced, he reached across me and pulled the door open. I’d been doing it right; I was just too weak.

I stumbled when I jumped to the curb, and I couldn’t help but glance at the puddle of streetlight to reassure myself it was a cheerful yellow instead of an inky blue-black. “Where is the school from here?” I asked. If she killed him, I’m going to be so pissed. I have not gone through this for nothing.

“You’ll never make it in time on foot,” Barnabas said, and I gasped when he scooped me up, cradling me as he gave one downward thrust with his wings, and we were airborne.