Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

CHAPTER 22

“You? Wanted for murder? Richard what are you talking about?”

The telephone wavered in Richard's hand. He was holding it about half an inch away from his ear anyway because it seemed that somebody had dipped the earpiece in some chow mein recently, but that wasn't so bad. This was a public telephone so it was clearly an oversight that it was working at all. But Richard was beginning to feel as if the whole world had shifted about half an inch away from him, like someone in a deodorant commercial.

“Gordon,” said Richard, hesitantly, “Gordon's been murdered — hasn't he?”

Susan paused before she answered.

“Yes, Richard,” she said in a distressed voice, “but no one thinks you did it. They want to question you of course, but —”

“So there are no police with you now?”

“No, Richard,” insisted Susan, “Look, why don't you come here?”

“And they're not out searching for me?”

“No! Where on earth did you get the idea that you were wanted for — that they thought you had done it?”

“Er — well, this friend of mine told me.”

“Who?”

“Well, his name is Dirk Gently.”

“You've never mentioned him. Who is he? Did he say anything else?”

“He hypnotised me and, er, made me jump in the canal, and, er, well, that was it really —”

There was a terribly long pause at the other end.

“Richard,” said Susan at last with the sort of calmness that comes over people when they realise that however bad things may seem to be, there is absolutely no reason why they shouldn't simply get worse and worse, “come over here. I was going to say I need to see you, but I think you need to see me.”

“I should probably go to the police.”

“Go to the police later. Richard, please. A few hours won't make any difference. I… I can hardly even think. Richard, it's so awful. It would just help if you were here. Where are you?”

“OK,” said Richard, “I'll be with you in about twenty minutes.”

“Shall I leave the window open or would you like to try the door?” she said with a sniff.