Daysider

Chapter 12

“Very well,” Alexia said, hardening her voice, “let’s talk about what happened yesterday.”

Damon pushed his good right arm through the sleeve of his shirt and took a deep breath. “It was necessary, Alexia,” he said.

So he wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t understand her line of questioning. That was something, anyway.

“Necessary to use sex as a way to make me bite you?” she asked, carefully controlling her voice so as not to reveal how much even the thought of his lovemaking aroused her even now.

“It wasn’t like that,” he said, easing his other sleeve over his injured arm with exquisite care. “I didn’t have it planned.”

“Didn’t you?” Alexia slung the strap of the VS back over her shoulder and turned her back on him, walking to the nearest tree. She rested both palms on the trunk, inhaling and exhaling slowly the way she had been taught in the earliest years of her training.

“You said, before we...you said you wouldn’t take my choice from me. You lied.”

“And you broke your promise,” he retorted with some heat. “You tried to back out of it by asking me to remember your exact words. I believe they were ‘hang on as long as necessary.’” At least he didn’t seem to remember what she had told him when he had been under his “spell,” demanding so ferociously that she stay alive. “That’s right,” she said. “As long as necessary. But once Michael was dead—”

“It was even more necessary,” Damon said, “because you were the sole survivor of your team and the only one capable of completing your mission.”

The anger went out of his voice. “I didn’t even know it would work, Alexia. I could only hope.”

“You’ve used that word before,” she said. “I never thought you really believed what it meant.”

“Have you abandoned it, Alexia?” he said, his voice thick with emotion that only confused her more. “Would you rather have died?”

As much as she wanted to say yes, she knew it wasn’t true. Maybe seeing Damon fight Lysander to the death had made her cherish life more than the principles she had thought were unbreakable. Maybe she valued her own existence more because she valued Damon’s.

No, she couldn’t lie to him. But she couldn’t dismiss her anger, her sense of betrayal, so easily.

“Do you expect me to thank you?” she asked.

“Do you think you had no part in it?” he asked, the edge returning to his voice.

“Whether you admit it or not, even you are a creature of instinct, driven to survive.”

He was right. He could not have forced her teeth into his flesh. But she couldn’t admit it, because that meant she was no better than a Nightsider. No better than the monster Michael had become, or the thing inside Damon that would gladly have slaughtered Lysander with nothing more than his teeth.

Damon’s footsteps, barely audible, whispered across the ground behind her. “You were born as you are, Alexia,” he said. “It does no good to fight your nature.”

Or his. Even if she could despise herself, her weakness, she couldn’t despise him. The fact was that something had happened to her when she and Damon had made love—not just a matter of bodies coming together in sex, or even the ecstatic joy that had taken her at the end. Their lovemaking had hurled her into territories uncharted and far more dangerous than their tentative friendship.

Even the matter of taking his blood couldn’t diminish what she had felt then, what she was feeling now. He was so close now, and she could draw every familiar line of his body in her mind: broad shoulders tapering to taut stomach and trim waist; long, muscular legs; and the part of him she so badly wanted to feel inside her again.

She closed her eyes and turned her face up to listen to the rustle of the leaves in the midnight breeze, forgetting everything but the vivid memory of Damon’s passion.

Once that passion had been for Eirene. Perhaps he had been thinking of his former lover when he kissed Alexia, when he entered her and possessed her and accepted her bite.

She couldn’t believe it. Even if he wasn’t capable of regarding any other woman the way he had Eirene—even if what he and Alexia had shared was only a matter of the

“attachment” Lysander had spoken of so mockingly—he cared. Genuinely and truly.

And she could no longer put off acknowledging the overwhelming truth.

She laughed. No, she couldn’t hate Damon. Or even herself. Not as long as she was with him.

“I am what I am,” she said, turning to look at him. “I know I can’t change that. But I can still live in service to something bigger than myself, and die honorably.”

A sudden gust of wind lifted the unbuttoned placket of Damon’s shirt, blowing the edges away from his chest. “Honor is a human concept,” he said softly.

Alexia tried not to let herself become distracted by the sight of his partially naked body. “Is that why you have so much trouble keeping your promises?” she asked. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. “I—” Damon looked away. “Why did you leave camp?” he asked again, as if their previous discussion had never happened.

“I went back to take care of Michael’s body,” she said, and then hesitated. Surely she could wait just a little longer to tell Damon about Michael, even though the mystery of his transformation, his behavior and his words remained unsolved. “It was gone when I got there.”

“I’m sorry,” Damon said. His voice turned gruff. “I should have seen to it earlier. It was still foolish for you to go out alone.”

“I felt fine. And if I hadn’t, I never would have had the chance to talk to the first Nightsider before Lysander killed him. I wouldn’t have been so much on my guard when Lysander gave me the line about stopping a traitor from deceiving me and getting me on his side.”

“And since Lysander was almost certainly lying or twisting the facts most of the time, everything the first Opir told you must have been the truth. What exactly did he say?”

She repeated what the man had told her. Damon hissed sharply through his teeth.

“Drugs,” he said. “The patch. He knew about it.”

“Yes,” she said, “but I don’t think he took it. I think he knew who did, and tried to tell me he knew where it was. He spoke of the colony in the same breath.”

“Interesting,” Damon murmured.

“Isn’t it? Lysander heard the first Nightsider mention the drugs before he killed the poor bastard, but he himself never once referred to them. I think he was trying to avoid the subject, because he had something to do with stealing the patch. I know he thought I was too stupid to notice.”

Damon smiled, displaying the tips of his incisors. “Arrogance. It’s a common failing among the Opiri. I wonder if he knew the nature and effects of the drugs and expected you to be weak and helpless without them.”

“Maybe,” she said, “but Lysander made a couple of other mistakes. He said the Expansionists want to destroy the colony because they expected the colonists to support their policies, and that wasn’t happening. But he also clearly implied that the Expansionists already had the plans in place, even though the man he killed hadn’t yet reported back to his masters.”

“Lysander already knew what they were going to do,” Damon said, echoing Alexia’s earlier conclusion. “In the past, he appeared to support the Sophist Faction, but his behavior was never in keeping with their desire for peace. He aspired to become a Bloodlord with his own harem, but he knew there are already too many in Erebus. He could never advance himself until Opir territory expands.”

Alexia nodded. “And so it would make perfect sense that he’d support the faction that would risk war to grab more turf.”

Damon crouched by the pack again and withdrew a pair of sturdy socks. “Maybe Lysander was originally sent out by the Council, but they don’t know he’s betrayed them.”

“Whatever they know or don’t know, I’m sure Lysander was involved with whoever was shooting at us before, even if he wasn’t one of the snipers himself. His surprise was just too off to be believable. And then there was that bit about not seeing Michael. That might be possible, but I think it’s far more likely that either he or the dead guy was the one Michael was following.”

Damon’s face settled into grim lines as he used his good hand to pull on his socks.

“Either he was unaware that your partner was dead, or he was lying about that, as well.”

At least I know he couldn’t have killed Michael, Alexia thought with a rush of sadness.

“We still don’t know if all the shooters were the same,” Damon said, “or if they had different motives. There are plenty of those to go around.”

“Michael raised a good point about the colony probably not having the tech to do anything with the patch,” she said. “Unless, as he also suggested, they were trying to buy freedom from Erebus by selling it to them.”

Damon untied the laces of his boots. “You said the colony wanted equality for all Opiri, regardless of rank.”

“That’s what Lysander told me.”

“Did he say who established the colony?”

“Someone named Theron, I think.”

Either it was her imagination, or Damon suddenly went unnaturally still all at once, like a vid caught between one image and the next.

“You know the name?” she asked.

He continued with his boots as if nothing had happened. “It is familiar,” he said. “But such a philosophy, if viable, would be anathema to all of Erebus, including the Council.”

Alexia searched his face. Was he admitting that the Council would be just as hostile to the colony as the Expansionists? Maybe enough to want it destroyed, too?

“We still can’t be sure how much of what Lysander said about the settlement or the Expansionists’ plans were lies,” she said.

Damon put on his boots, unfastened one of the outer pockets of his pack and withdrew a spare knife, smaller than the other but every bit as nasty-looking. “The first Opir’s warnings seem to confirm at least some of it was the truth. There must be a great deal more Lysander didn’t tell us.”

“And none of this explains why none of the shooters killed us.”

“Indeed.”

Alexia went to join Damon, aware in every nerve of the heat of his body, the smell of his skin, the planes and angles of his face. As crazy as it was under these very dangerous circumstances, in spite of the matter of the blood, she wanted him again.

From the way Damon’s muscled clenched up, Alexia had an idea he was thinking the same thing she was. She could almost feel his desire, like static electricity raising all the hair on the back of her arm. His nostrils flared and the corner of his mouth twitched.

But he resisted his body’s demands. Even without moving, he seemed to lean away from her, putting more space between them.

It hurt. But Alexia was glad. Whatever Lysander had said, they could still both control their “irrational impulses.”

“We know Lysander was lying about your new ‘orders,’” she said, “unless you think the Council would really change your mission right after you left.”

“Unlikely,” he said, staring into the darkness clotted among the branches of the old oak.

“Then why would Lysander pretend that the Council wanted you to escort me back to the Border when he knew I’d report my suspicions to Aegis?”

Damon balanced the knife’s blade on one extended finger. “The orders Lysander gave me are not what he told you,” he said. “They instruct me to take you and Michael back to Erebus, where we would be met secretly by Council Security. They claim this is to protect you from the Expansionists, but I believe members of the Expansionists would be the ones to meet us, and probably before we ever reach the Citadel. They wouldn’t risk taking us too close to Erebus.”

“So they just want us to walk into a trap so they can kill us? What would be the purpose, considering how many times they’ve had a chance to do it already?”

“I don’t know.” He stabbed the knife’s tip into the dirt between his feet with enough force to bend the blade. “I think they’d keep you alive, if possible. You have too much potential value to them.”

“Why? Why me in particular?”

He shoulders hunched as if to ward off her question. “It would be too much a risk to take you for such a reason.”

“What is the reason, Damon?”

Damon turned the blade from side to side, catching the moonlight so that the metal seemed to burn with cold fire. “As you once noted, the offspring of Opir and human are forbidden in Erebus. There are no dhampires there. But sometime during the War, an Opir was said to have discovered that dhampir blood acts as a stimulant and aphrodisiac on the Opir system.”

Alexia lost her balance, dropping from a crouch to her knees. “You mean like the drug that keeps my kind alive?”

“This one is purely recreational.” His teeth flashed in a humorless smile, bright as the blade. “To many, it is only a myth. You probably know better than I how many dhampires have disappeared in the Zone since the Armistice. Some Bloodmasters may have obtained dhampir serfs born before the end of the War, but they would be rare. As you can imagine, the demand is quite high.”

“And Aegis...” She felt bile climb into her throat. “They can’t possibly know this.”

“As I said, it may be only myth.”

That was scant comfort, Alexia thought ruefully.

“Would it work the same on you?” she asked.

“No. I am not full Opir.”

The statement was so final that Alexia decided he was telling the truth.

“And in spite of all this,” she said, struggling to find a little humor, “you don’t think the Expansionists would try to sell me for some fabulous sum?”

“They know Aegis would investigate your and Michael’s complete disappearance.”

“But the enemy would expect that no matter what happened,” Alexia said, shivering in spite of herself. “They’ve got my patch. Maybe they can use me for some kind of experiment.”

Damon frowned and looked into her eyes. “Such speculation is pointless. We still can’t be sure who stole it, the colony or the Expansionists. Even if we knew the Expansionists had it, we’re not going anywhere near Erebus. I won’t risk it until we have more concrete information.”

“Then I guess we’d better start looking for answers closer to home.”

“Some answers aren’t worth the price.” He reached over and laid his hand on her arm, so lightly that she barely felt it. “Lysander did say one thing of value. You shouldn’t be further involved, Alexia. Your partner is dead, and you’ve suffered a grievous injury.

Aegis would not expect you to continue this mission under the circumstances, and—”

“You just said since I was the sole survivor of my team, I had to finish the mission myself.”

She’d caught him, and he knew it. But that wasn’t enough to make him give up. “I was wrong,” he said.

“Forget it.”

He tightened his grip. “Michael would have reported the theft of the patch, but now that task is yours. Our new information makes it even more essential that Aegis be informed of the Expansionists’ plans so that there will be no misunderstanding if and when the colony is attacked. They must know that the Council is not involved.”

“You said yourself that you aren’t privy to the Council’s deliberations. Given what you’ve said about how Erebus would feel about the colonists’ philosophy, what if they aren’t controlling the Expansionists because they want them to do the Council’s dirty work?”

“They are not involved,” he repeated.

“Isn’t that just what you want to believe, Damon? Because if the Council is just as bad as the Expansionists, you have no reason to serve any of them?”

He got up and moved away from her, a few uneven strides in one direction and then back again. “You’re wrong. We agree that any overt move on the colony could be interpreted to be an act of war. The Independents’ entire purpose is to maintain the status quo.”

“Do you really believe Aegis would send soldiers into the Zone because Erebus eliminated its own illegal colony?” she asked, rising to follow him. “That would make war a certainty.”

“How can you agree that this is a highly volatile situation for both sides if you don’t believe Aegis would take action in that case? Why would they have sent you to investigate at all?”

He was right, of course. It was all imprudent talk on her part, an effort to make herself feel less helpless.

“Then explain to me why you told Lysander that Aegis might be pleased if the colony were destroyed?” she asked. “Why would you even suggest that to him?”

“I don’t believe it, Alexia. I was attempting to throw him off his stride in any way possible, and see what might result.” He held her gaze intently. “We once discussed the fact that the Enclave is just as responsible for the serfs in Erebus as the Opiri. The reason I am convinced that your government would act in the case of violence against the colonists is for that very reason. The Treaty specifies that no humans may be killed in Citadel territory.”

He was silent for some time before he spoke again. “There must be much hostility and resistance to the custom of sending condemned criminals to Erebus, and guilt is a very powerful human emotion,” he said. “Would your government dare remain indifferent to a few dozen human deaths, even if the dead were merely cast-off criminals?”

Pulling back a clenched fist, Alexia swung at Damon’s face. He caught her hand with his own good one and held her still, breathing as hard as if they had just finished a knockdown, drag-out fight.

“What is it?” he taunted, leaning toward her. “Is the hypocrisy of your own people too difficult to bear?”

Alexia squeezed her eyes shut. Oh, Garret. “You son of a bitch,” she hissed, hating him even as the feel of his skin on hers sent a spike of desire through her body.

He tightened his fingers around her fist. “What were your orders coming into the Zone, Alexia? Were you only to observe? Or were you perhaps sent to find a way to get the humans out of the colony before Erebus’s factions tore it apart?”

“Where in hell did you get that idea?” she spat, struggling to free herself.

“It would be a way for your government to avoid open warfare and still retain the goodwill of those citizens who reject their method of holding the Opiri at bay with condemned prisoners,” he said, keeping his iron grip on her wrist. “If they made the case that the Council could not keep the Treaty by protecting its serfs from destruction, they could avoid hostilities completely.”

“That’s insane. You’re assuming Aegis already knew what was going on here!”

“You never denied they might have sent another agent ahead of you and Michael.”

“I never said—” A muscle flexed in his cheek. “And the Council’s first agent investigating the colony was killed by an Enclave weapon.”

“I don’t know anything about that!” Her chest grew tight as it occurred to her just how much she might not have known. “I was never told about any previous mission to investigate the settlement.”

“Then consider that Aegis might already have been well-informed about the situation in the Zone and has already planned its response. You would want Aegis to save the colony’s serfs, would you not?”

“You don’t know a damned thing about it!”

Abruptly he let her go. “I, too, have my secrets, Alexia.” He sighed and backed away.

“The current situation makes it impossible to keep them any longer.”

Alexia rubbed at her cramped fingers, her stomach rolling over and over like a trained circus dog. “What?” she said.

“You should know the real reason why I was sent to meet you and your partner.”

“You didn’t come to help us observe the colony?” she asked, anger fading to a formless sense of dread.

“No. I was sent to prevent you from getting near it.”