Days Since...: Thomas: Day 758

Chapter Eleven

A blanket of clouds had been pulled across the sky—the sun noticeably absent in the east. Colors that normally accompany the twilight hours gave up today, leaving only gray—a somber mix of two extremes. Black and White. New life and death. Celebration and mourning. Indeed gray as Thomas stood motionless in a fog of sleep depravity and quiet reflection. And as others took to warming themselves in the glow of a fire, he chose to stay with James.

Throughout the night, many of the Soldiers came and went from his side in between bouts of sleep and work. Every word of sympathy was met with silence, reducing these brief exchanges to consoling pats upon Thomas’s shoulder. The ones that chose to give him his space stood nearby, quiet, frowning with their heads drooped into their chests. Each man would deal with it in their own way.

There would be no rays of sunshine to thaw their hearts. In this chilled silence, Thomas gathered his thoughts, appreciating James for what he was and what he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but consider that it might be best to keep his heart frozen. It was the thawing out that hurt—that coming to terms with the loss. I should’ve never let him go through with this. His head wasn’t in it from the start. I knew this was a damned mistake.

An engine groaned, and one of the Butcher’s trucks crept into the center of camp—Riley and Krenshaw stepped out. They dropped the tailgate and slid two bodies onto the pavement. The two of them smiled while looking over the bodies strewn about. “Pretty sure that’s the lot of them,” Riley said while dusting his hands off.

“Just waiting on the women now.”

Thomas took his eyes back to James. Death should be easy by now, right? You’d think that, but I guess it depends on who deserves it. He looked to the dead lying about—brought here in haste and thrown down without care. They deserved it. More will deserve it. He wiped from the corners of his mouth then scratched his chin. It’ll get easier… He knelt down. “You shouldn’t have been here,” he spoke under his breath while crossing James’s arms over his chest. He did his best to hide the wound and blood absorbed into his clothing. James appeared at peace—his eyes closed, his body still.

“You doing okay?” Riley approached, dragging the full length of one of the surviving tents behind him.

“Yeah, definitely,” Thomas lied.

“I’ll take care of it.” Riley bedded down the nearby grass by spreading out the tent.

“Not by yourself.” Thomas grabbed the other end and evened it out. “You ready?”

“Are you?” Riley’s eyes showed concern, but Thomas ignored him.

Thomas grasped underneath James’s armpits, being mindful not to shake his arms from his chest. Riley took hold of the legs, and they moved him onto the flattened tent. They curled the edges, creating a handle similar to that of a stretcher and carried his body to the pickup truck.

“I’ll ride in here with him once we leave,” Thomas said. Riley nodded as they placed him onto the bed of the truck. Thomas clutched James’s hands and squeezed, his mind replaying the scene, the carelessness. How could I let this happen? Damn…

“Nothing we could have done would have changed this.”

Thomas smiled weakly.

“I mean it. There—” Riley turned around, noticing that Thomas’s attention went beyond him.

Blaine strolled toward the truck, grinning, chatting to a few of the Soldiers that were gathered by a campfire as he passed by them. He motioned for Riley to step away, wiping the grin from his face as they approached one another. “Allow me some time to speak with him,” Blaine spoke softly from a distance, but Thomas still heard. He sat down on the tailgate, working over his knuckles. A long, deliberate breath escaped him before he spoke. “Come and sit with me.”

“No thanks.”

“You did what you could,” Blaine offered

Thomas looked to the sky then banged his fist against the truck. “Damn it! This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He pressed the palms of his hands into his forehead and groaned. “I…” His chin dropped, and he rested his forehead against the wall of the truck’s bed. “After all the shit leading up to this, for him to go— for him to go like this. It’s crazy. I just…” An exasperated breath and he lifted his head. “I just can’t believe it.”

“It’s not yo—”

“Everything was perfect, you know?” Thomas interrupted him forcefully.

Blaine stood from the tailgate and walked over to the side of the truck opposite Thomas. “Everything on paper always is.”

Thomas disregarded this tactless remark, choosing instead to pull the tent further over James’s body—a last attempt at protecting him from the world. “You get wrapped up in these damn ideas.”

“What do you mean?” Blaine helped to cover James.

“I saved him two days ago?”

Blaine paused for a moment and looked to Thomas.

“He almost got us killed then. You should have seen him run.” A stifled chuckle and an uneasy smile faded from his face. “Only got a graze. He really was a…” His mind went adrift as he stared into the folds of the tent. He really was a good soldier despite himself.

Blaine stopped fidgeting with the tent and rested his hands along the bed of the truck. “I think…” Thomas snapped his head toward Blaine, glaring at him in anticipation of another insensitive remark. “I don’t—” He swallowed the lump that had lodged in his throat. “I don’t think it’s productive to assign blame. Certainly, not on yourself. Not in the slightest. That’s all I’m offering. It won’t do any good.”

“His death is on me no matter what you or anyone says. I let his carelessness— his lack of attention run too long. I should have reeled it in.” Thomas turned his back to Blaine. “He really was a good man. Even through all the bullshit…”

“It wasn’t your place to stop him.”

“It was though.” Thomas snapped back. “We served together in Syria. He was the same damn guy there too!” His voice rose to a shout, catching the attention of the Soldiers gathered around the fire. “I know his limits, and he got carried away. He’s so damn cocky all the time. I should have scaled him back. I owed him that.” Thomas’s voice broke slightly. He cleared his throat. “It was him that got me home from six thousand miles away. He had to make the hard choice then. It was my turn, and I…” Thomas rubbed across the coarse hairs on his chin. “I couldn’t even get him four miles.”

“Here they come,” One of the Soldiers shouted, pointing to the now, fully-clothed women and children cresting the last hill of the southern service road. Thomas shot his attention toward them. Their laughter and boisterous conversations carried—their smiles oblivious to the sacrifices made to secure their newly-found freedom.

Deep down Thomas understood their elation was appropriate. He wanted it that way—set out days ago to make it that way. But in this moment, their joy scraped at his bones. The life of a decent man had been lost, and they would never truly know the extent of it. The cause was always bigger than the individual in battle.

Thomas had seen it first-hand. He knew the men that were lost in Syria, he would never forget, but to most, the deceased were the mere brush strokes in a mural. It didn’t matter to them which of the good guys made it home, only that the good guys won.

“How much more needs to be done?” Thomas asked.

“Not much.” Blaine now stood next to Thomas. “We’ll cremate the deceased. The trucks are being loaded as we speak.”

“And the women?”

“Processing will begin once we arrive at L.P.H. Fortress. Initial interviews revealed that many of them have valuable skillsets. Thomas…” Blaine paused. “This really is a big win for us.”

“And what about the kid?”

“He’s still being held at the library, but we won’t be leaving him behind. We may get some use out of him yet. Bright kid, he just needs some… convincing.” Blaine rummaged through his jacket pocket and took two envelopes from it. “I have your assignment.” He studied the envelopes for a moment then handed one of them to Thomas.

“What about the other one?”

“Not your concern.”

Thomas looked over to James. “Can I have his? Just…”

“I can’t. Sorry. Take your time with yours. It should be enough news to process. You don’t need to know any more than that.”

Blaine left Thomas’s side, moving toward the center of camp. Thomas flipped the envelope over. My next assignment. He picked at the black wax that sealed its contents from tampering—from unprivileged eyes. Inside, a typed letter.

Thomas pored over the details again. This is it. Everything I’ve been working toward. I got it. But— James… He looked to Blaine just as he pitched the second envelope into the fire. It caught. A quick rise in the flame that took unknown words from the world. I couldn’t have done this without you, man.

“We need to stack these bodies up!” Blaine shouted. “Once we’re finished here, we can leave.”

The Soldiers left the warmth of their fire and began sorting through the remains. Wrists and ankles were held within their grips before being tossed on top of one another. Limp arms and legs intertwined in a heap. Faces peering through the tangle. Thomas found himself affixed to their eyes, counting the sets that stared back.

“Scotty…” he spoke under his breath. Stop caring, damn it. These people made their choice. They were too selfish or too blind to see what we offered them. Anyone steps out of line this will be their fate. I owe it to James to ensure we don’t lose another. Thomas gripped the tent once more, covering James with it while saying his last good-bye. I’m going to make sure they take care of you. A proper burial and everything.

Not wanting to leave James alone, Thomas waved Riley to the truck to maintain watch. He had one last thing on his mind.

Atop the short hill, the corpse remained hanging, eyes bulging, discolored from the pockets of blood that settled above the noose—the face unrecognizable. No one had bothered to relieve the tree of its burden.

It wasn’t as if the man truly deserved the consideration. It was simply that this entire travesty needed to be laid to rest—full closure for the Butcher’s camp—a way to ensure this mission could truly be completed.

He withdrew his knife and flipped the blade, but as he neared, he thought better of cutting him down. Never waste rope. Thomas turned back toward Blaine. The pile of bodies had nearly been stacked whole, and a few of the Soldiers stood without work, chatting with the newly-freed women. “I need someone up here!” Thomas shouted.

“I got ya!” Krenshaw waved the others off as he started toward him.

Thomas couldn’t help but wonder if this man or the woman had told the truth. Although the man’s intentions with the woman were troubling, could the mere accusation be considered absolute truth at face value? What if it truly was an honest reaction? Regardless, death under these circumstances was not proportionate to the crime. The world could only be restored with law and order but only if served appropriately.

Thomas took hold of the legs and lifted the body, relieving the tension on the rope. “What do you need me to do?” Krenshaw asked.

“I’ll hold him up. I just need you to loosen the rope, and we’ll carry him down to the pile.”

Krenshaw obliged, taking hold of the noose while feeding the slack through the knot. Thomas twisted the body, wresting the head from the noose, and with the help of his partner, they eased him to the ground. Each took an end and carried the man toward the pile, ultimately tossing him in with the others. The two of them gave each other an earnest nod.

“Now that has got to be the last one,” Riley said.

“Is it?” Thomas surveyed camp, looking for any known tasks that had not been completed. “Looks like it. Did they get the ones from the outposts too?”

“The last two bodies we dropped off.”

“Ready?” Blaine held a can of gasoline within his hand, his eyebrows perked. “You want the honors?” He offered it to Thomas.

“Leave them.”

Blaine’s head cocked sideways, his eyebrows scrunched up as he looked to Thomas for clarification.

“They don’t deserve anything close to humane. Let the birds pick them over. Leave it as a warning to the others. Anyone who comes in here once we leave will know that this shit isn’t acceptable. Make people know there are consequences for doing this. Let them spread that warning.”

Blaine thought for a moment, crossing his arms, looking to the pile. He sneered then turned back to Thomas. “It’s in poor taste.”

“That seems only suitable for what this place was.”

The Soldiers nodded.

Blaine eyed the camp. “Are those trucks loaded up?” he shouted toward the Soldiers unpacking the disabled U-Haul. A thumbs up from one of the men working along with two others. Blaine smiled. “You know what…?” His smile stretched a bit further. “A message would be well served in this circumstance. We’ll let them rot.”

The women were called down from the gazebo and shuffled into the back end of the crescent formation of Soldiers surrounding Blaine and Thomas. Blaine addressed everyone, laying out instructions and the expectations that went with them. Thomas caught very little of the spiel as his thoughts wandered through the excitement of his new assignment.

We made it Joseph. Kate. It’s only a matter of time before life gets better for us. Better quarters. Better food. It’s not going to be immediate, but once we get there, it’s going to be so much better. I can’t wait to see your faces.

Blaine finished his speech, and Thomas broke for the truck.

“Is that it?” Cindy came from behind him. “Nothing else? Just going to hop in the pickup and leave?”

“I—” Thomas thought for a moment. “What else is there?”

“You didn’t feel it?”

Thomas smiled.

“I knew you did.” She took his hand. “You knew all along that you were going to save us, didn’t you?”

“I hoped it would end up this way.”

She continued smiling through Thomas’s words.

”You know we didn’t come here to take you, right?” Thomas asked. “You’ll be free to do what you want. You don’t have to stay with us.”

“I want to stay with you.” She blushed. “You’re the first…”

Thomas perked his ears. “Yeah?”

“The first to treat me like a person since— all of it, you know… since I was taken.”

“Thomas! We gotta roll, man!”

“You aren’t walking?” she asked.

“I need to ride in back with him.”

“Oh…” She grimaced. “I understand.”

Thomas kicked his foot up and over the side and took his place next to James. “This isn’t good-bye.”

“I know.” She nodded and turned from him, falling into line with the other women waiting for the caravan to begin. Thomas watched her until she disappeared into the rows of women and Soldiers.

“We’ll be going real slow,” the driver said. “Leading everyone back—even those that are walking, so try and get some sleep back there.”

“It shouldn’t take me long.” Thomas yawned, slunk down in the bed of truck, and rested his head against his rucksack. “Take it easy if you can.”

“You got it.”

“I’m sorry, Dad. Mom. What do I… what do I do now? What’s the point? Everyone’s going to be gone soon. I never should have come home. None of us should have come home. Everyone was lied to. They lied to us. Told us we were fine, but—

“How could they have known? No one knew. We all thought it was bullshit. Nobody thought for a second we had it. How could we? Everything we were told…

“Mom! Dad! Please. Oh, God! Why? Why? Bullshit. I can’t believe this. It’s over. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. Just a quick squeeze of this trigger, and it’ll be over. I can be with my family, friends—everything will be okay. There’s no reason to be here anymore.

“Who the hell? Who is it?”

“Thomas? I heard some yelling. You okay?”

“Who is it?”

“It’s Kevin from down the street.”

“What do you want?”

“Can you… Can you just open the door, please?”

“One second! This… this here will have to wait.”

“Hey, thanks for coming to the door. No one else would answer. You remember Joseph? Can you say hi to Mr. Tom, Joseph?”

“It’s alright, little man. You don’t have to…”

“Thomas, I know we don’t know each too great, but your dad was a good friend of mine. I’m sorry by the way.”

“Thanks.”

“I—uh—I don’t really know how to put this, but I’m—I’m taking Nancy to this guy. They say he’s been helping people with this virus thing. I have to try something… you know? I just—I just don’t think it’s safe to take Joseph too. I was wonder—hoping that you could watch Joseph. Can you watch him until we get back? I’ll be back.”

“I don’t know. I’m kind of… I’m kind of busy.”

“Please… please. I need to know he’ll be safe while we’re gone. I know you served in the military. You can protect him if things continue to get bad, right? I mean look at you.”

“I don’t know, sir.”

“I trust you to make sure he’s good. You’ve always been a good guy. Even when you were a kid. You’ve always been tough, you know, able to handle things. You’re just like your dad.”

“I…”

“Please.”

The truck tossed him slightly as it slalomed through a pattern of disabled vehicles—wheels stripped, resting on their axles, barricading the road that led up to the gates of L.P.H. Fortress. A roar of cheers poured over the walls surrounding the town, taking Thomas from his much-needed sleep. His eyelids fluttered. He blinked through the sunlight as he woke. The circumstances surrounding him were slowly coming together. A rush of farmers came toward the city from the fields. Guards posted along the rooftops pumped their rifles in the air. The women, children, and Soldiers that had returned with the caravan were clamoring for the gate, eager to get off their feet from the long trek back.

Thomas heard the metal doors squeal and vibrate as the Sentries worked to push them open. The convoy slowed to a stop. He rested his hand upon James. “We’re here, man.” He turned to watch, looking over the cab of the pickup as the gates were finally opened.

Eager faces filled the streets, gathering along the unplanned parade route. Throughout the crowd, only two people meant much of anything. Where are they? His heart beat faster—anxious. It’s probably just taking Kate a bit to get over here. He took to his feet to get a better look over the dense crowd from the back of the truck. There they are.

Joseph’s excitement radiated through the crowd—Kate’s arm outstretched, doing her best to keep him close as they meandered down the street from their building. Despite her smiling, Thomas could see her getting after him, begging him to slow, but his feet wouldn’t stop. Their smiles warmed him, easing him from the tragedy that had befallen him in the camp, reassuring him that his service meant something—that his service would always be appreciated.

Thomas smacked the top of the pickup’s cab twice, and the driver stopped. He hopped down from the bed. “Make sure to take James over to the offices.”

“Yeah, no problem. Get some rest.”

“Will do.”

“Thomas!” Cindy called to him, grabbing hold of his arm from behind. “What’s going to happen to us?” Her face showed concern at the overwhelming scene.

Thomas took her hand and looked her in the eyes. “They’re going to process you in. Get you the basics—clothes, a meal, a bed. You’ll like it here.”

“This is too much.”

“It won’t be. I promise.” His voice stayed smooth and unhindered. “Eventually, you’ll get your own apartment, but for now they’re going to keep you with the other women.” Thomas smiled at her as she looked over her new home. “I’ll find you tonight and show you around.”

She took a deep breath.

“We saved you, we didn’t take you,” Thomas reminded her.

“Promise you’ll find me tonight?”

“Absolutely.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “I promise.”

Thomas took to the crowd, searching for Kate and Joseph. Now, where’d they go? With each step he took, he was greeted by others requesting his hand, patting his back—his ears flooded with congratulations and thank-yous. A waving hand caught his eye. Kate and Joseph stood atop the landing to Oyler School.

“Tommy!” Joseph yelled—the words barely audible as he ran down the steps toward him. He paused for a moment, waiting for Thomas to break through the fringe

“Hey, buddy!” Thomas scooped him up, flinging him in the air while his legs dangled and kicked.

“Let me down! Let me down!”

“Were you good for Kate?” Joseph looked to her, and she smiled back as she inched toward them.

“You know I was.”

“I know.” Thomas tousled his hair and patted him on the bottom. “Go have a seat for a sec, I have to talk to Kate.”

Joseph did as he was told, wandering back to the top of the stairs and slumping onto the top step. He buried his face in the nest of his crossed arms as he ground his foot into the step below him.

“You look like death itself.” Kate slapped the back of his hand. “Have you even slept at all these past two days?”

Thomas scratched the back of his head, “It’s been a rough couple of d—”

“I don’t want to hear anything about it. I’m afraid my heart couldn’t handle that kind of talk.”

Thomas chuckled. “Fair enough.”

“You’re okay though?”

“Of course. Just tired.”

“Clearly. Why don’t I take Joseph a while longer?”

“You don’t mind?”

“Not at all. I think you earned some rest.”

“Thanks, Kate. Someday I’ll pay you back, you know?”

“You don’t need to do that, I enjoy watching the little man. Keeps me company and helps me out with things.”

Thomas waved Joseph over. He leapt from the stoop and rushed to Thomas, giving him a big hug. Thomas knelt down to speak with him. “Hey, I’m sorry big man, but you’ll have to stay with Kate just a little more.” Thomas lifted Joseph’s chin from his pouting. “It’ll only be a few hours. I need a little sleep and then you can come with me while I take care of stuff tonight.”

“Really?” Joseph’s face lit up. “Promise?”

“You know it.” He put his hand out, and Joseph gave him a five. “Ouch!”

“Finally!” Joseph threw his fists in the air and cheered. “I got you good!”

Thomas mouthed a thank you to Kate, and she led Joseph away by the small of his back. He watched for only a moment as Kate began introducing Joseph to some of the other Soldiers that stood nearby.

Without any coaxing, Thomas’s feet took over, dragging him to his apartment. Soon, the familiar bang of his metal gate welcomed him. He glided up the stairs, and as he stood before his apartment door, Thomas had never felt so relieved.