Day 21

CHAPTER 19 Bellamy

He was packing up again. He’d done it twice before, but each time, something had brought him back. Octavia had disappeared during the fire. Clarke had been bitten by the snake.

But now he was leaving for good. He’d dealt with Wells’s mind games and Clarke’s treachery for the last time. As he stuffed a few protein packets into his pocket, a new wave of anger rose in his chest at the thought of everything he’d given up to bring Clarke safely back to camp. He’d lost Octavia’s trail, and wasted days waiting for the Earthborn girl to talk. He should’ve left Clark in the woods, letting her limbs swell and her airway close up so that she’d never be able to utter another lie again. She’d tortured Lilly and then had been twisted enough to claim that Lilly had wanted to die.

There wasn’t much to bring. He had a blanket. His bow. A few water-purifying tablets. He and Octavia would figure the rest out on their own. Before Wells had knocked Bellamy to the ground, the Earthborn girl had whispered, “Four miles northwest. Halfway up the mountain.”

Bellamy didn’t know what he would find there—Sasha might have been telling him that the other Earthborns lived on the mountain, or that the rogue group had been spotted near there. Maybe it was a trap. But right now it was all he had, and he wasn’t going to waste any more time.

Bellamy left without saying good-bye to anyone. Let them think he was heading off to hunt. Wells had disappeared and there was no sign of Clarke, thank god. He didn’t think he’d be able to look at her again. The idea that he’d almost slept with the girl who’d killed Lilly was enough to make him vomit.

The more distance he put between himself and the camp, the easier it became to breathe. The air smelled different here than it did in the woods closer to the clearing. Perhaps it was the species of trees, or the makeup of the soil, but there was something else too. The scent of leaves and dirt and rain had been mingling for centuries, undisturbed by any humans. It felt cleaner here, purer, a place where no one had ever spoken and no one had ever cried.

The sun started to set, and even as Bellamy picked up his pace, he knew he’d never make it to the mountain before dark. It’d be better to find a place to camp and then set out again in the morning. It was foolish—and dangerous—to explore unfamiliar terrain at night, especially once he crossed into Earthborn territory.

In the distance, he heard the faint sound of running water. Bellamy followed it and found himself on the bank of a small stream. It was so narrow, the trees on either side met in some places, creating an arch of green and yellow leaves.

Bellamy removed his water canister, knelt down, and dipped it into the stream. He shivered slightly as the cold water rushed over his hand. If he were uncomfortable now, what would happen when winter came? There hadn’t been any cold weather gear among their supplies. Either they had burned in the crash landing of the dropship, or more likely, the Council hadn’t expected the hundred to survive long enough to need it.

Bellamy sat back on the bank, wondering whether it was worth it to use one of the purifying tablets, when he was startled by a flash of movement. As he turned, his eyes settled on a small, reddish, long-haired animal perched on the bank, reaching its snout into the water. Sensing Bellamy’s presence, it whipped its head around to look at him.

It had white fur around its large dark eyes, and oversize ears that twitched back and forth as it surveyed Bellamy. Drops of water clung to its long whiskers, and despite the animal’s intense expression, it looked more like a little kid with protein paste all over his face than a predator. Bellamy smiled. He’d seen a few different species of animals in the woods, but none that seemed to communicate so plainly. Before he thought better of it, he reached out his hand. “Hey there,” he said.

The creature’s black nose twitched on the end of its reddish snout, shaking the water droplets from its whiskers. Bellamy expected it to turn and dash away, but to his surprise, it took a few tentative steps forward, its bushy red tail swishing from side to side. “Hey,” Bellamy said again. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” He was pretty sure it was a fox.

The fox sniffed the air again, then trotted forward and gave Bellamy’s hand a tentative nudge. Bellamy grinned as its damp nose and wet whiskers brushed his skin.

“Bellamy?”

He wheeled around at the sound of his name, sending the fox scampering away. Clarke was standing a few meters away with a pack on her shoulder and an expression of surprise on her face. “Oh,” she said as her gaze followed the fleeing fox. “I didn’t mean to scare him.”

“Are you following me?” Bellamy snapped, rising to his feet. He couldn’t believe she had found him here, just when he was finally putting some distance between himself and camp. When he was finally getting away. “Never mind.” He shook his head. “I don’t even want to know.”

“I wasn’t following you,” she said quietly, taking a step forward. “I’m going to find the Earthborns.”

Bellamy stared at her, momentarily stunned. “Why?” he asked finally.

She paused. There’d been a time when he’d thought he’d been able to read Clarke’s thoughts, to see past the defenses she put up. But he realized now it was all in his head. He’d wanted so badly to have someone on Earth he could trust, to have someone, after Lilly, who he could actually love, but he didn’t know the least bit about her.

“I… I think my parents were in the first group of Colonists. I need to find out what happened to them.”

Bellamy stared at her. He certainly hadn’t expected her to say that. But he forced himself to stifle his curiosity. There was no way he was letting Clarke drag him into any more of her insanity.

“Sasha told me how to get to where she lives. She said it’s less than a day’s walk from here.”

“Well then, you’d better get moving,” Bellamy snapped.

He started collecting wood. Without saying a word to Clarke, he arranged the kindling in a pile, grabbed a match from his pack, and lit a small fire. Let her be the one to leave first.

When he finally looked up, he saw that Clarke was still standing in the same spot. The firelight reflecting in her eyes made her look younger, and more innocent. Underneath his anger, he felt a pang of affection—not for the girl standing in front of him, but for the girl she’d pretended to be. Was that Clarke really in there somewhere? The Clarke who could look so gravely serious one moment and then burst into laughter the next? The girl who found everything on Earth miraculous, and kissed him as if he were the most incredible find of all?

“You look creepy standing there. Either come down or get going,” he said gruffly.

Clarke edged toward the fire, dropped her pack, and slowly lowered herself to the ground. A cold wind swept through the trees, and she brought her knees up to her chest and shivered. Just a few days ago, he would’ve wrapped his arms around her, but now, they hung like twin weights against his sides. He wasn’t sure he wanted her to stay. But he didn’t tell her to leave either.

They spent the next hour watching the dancing flames in silence, listening to the sound of the cracking twigs and the wind echoing above them.