Curtsies & Conspiracies

The 10th test FINDING FORTUNE

How will you infiltrate Bunson’s without being found out as you get older?” Sophronia asked Vieve, gesticulating elegantly at the front part of her own corset.

“I come from a long line of bony women, so I shouldn’t think that will be a problem. And I managed to fool even you, until you were told.”

“True, but I was more thinking about the fact that some of them must already know you as you at Bunson’s.”

“Only Shrimpdittle and if you can deal with him, I should be in form. So long as my aunt keeps mum, I don’t see as there should be any real difficulty.”

“If you say so.”

“I know so. And I have a wonderful fake mustache I shall begin sporting in a few years time. That will fool most anyone. Mustaches are like that.”

“You’d make a terrible intelligencer,” said Sophronia at that outrageous statement.

“I know. Hence the reason I want to infiltrate Bunson’s, which is far more amenable to my personality.”

“And contact between the schools? How will you handle that?”

“It is more amicable now than it has been before. But…” she trailed off, her small face thoughtful.

“You don’t think good relations will last?”

“You serve different masters.”

Sophronia sat up. “Do you know who is the patron of Mademoiselle Geraldine’s?”

Vieve shook her head. “No, but I know it isn’t the Picklemen, and they’re the backbone of Bunson’s. Those who aren’t Picklemen don’t get along with them, so…” She shrugged her conclusion.

Sophronia didn’t think much of the Picklemen herself. “In that case, are you certain you want to go there? There must be other evil genius schools.”

“None as good as Bunson’s. It’s a feeder to École des Arts et Métiers, the best university. Besides, I don’t mind a Pickleman or two. They have the funds and an interest in technology. Do you think it’s them Professor Braithwope was referencing the other night in the shed as wanting the technology?”

“Must be. Sister Mattie said the intermediary had gone to infiltrate flywaymen, we know the Picklemen are mixed up with them, and… wait a moment, what will I do about Bumbersnoot with you gone? Who will look after him?”

Vieve shrugged. “It’s time you learned mechanimal maintenance, if you will insist on carrying him everywhere like he’s a toy.”

Sophronia grinned at her pet, who was lounging on the end of the couch wearing lace and ruffles. “Oh, he doesn’t mind, do you, Bumbersnoot?”

Tick-tock, tick-tock went Bumbersnoot’s tail in apparent agreement.

“Come here, you charmer,” said Vieve, scooping up the mechanimal and removing his reticule attire. “I’ll show you how to clean and oil him and leave a few tools. You should try it before I relocate, in case you have questions.”

Sophronia prepared to be instructed. If Vieve was set on leaving, she had better learn to fend for herself in the matter of technology. Funny, she thought, I used to love to take things apart.

“Oh, ho ho, looks who’s all chummy.” Monique came into the room and cast herself in an unladylike manner into an arm chair.

“I thought you had a terrible headache, Sophronia. You don’t look like you’re ill,” accused Preshea, following Monique.

Sidheag, Agatha, and Dimity trailed into the parlor after them.

“Oh, Preshea, what do you care? You had Lord Mersey all to yourself at luncheon,” said Dimity.

Vieve looked at the fashionable young ladies surrounding her. She issued an ironic little bow, packed up her things, and made good her escape.

“I don’t know why you associate with that brat,” said Monique. “Older girls shouldn’t patronize younger ones.”

No one replied, but there was a collective arching of eyebrows. After all, Monique was forced to spend most of her time associating with them, and even Sophronia—the eldest of the bunch—was three years her junior.

Monique wrinkled her nose, as if smelling the absurdity in her own words. She quickly moved the subject on. “Preshea, darling, is it only I who have noticed, or has this whole trip to London become excessively dull?”

“Don’t fret, dear Monique. You still have your party to plan.” Preshea was all optimism.

Monique brightened. “Oh, yes, the party. How droll of me to forget. Should we consider refreshments?”

Preshea and Monique then spent a quarter of an hour discussing the delights of the upcoming ball. They listed all the diversions and delicacies in a manner that emphasized the fact that no one else in the room would get to sample any.

Agatha played her role painfully well, pretending interest. Really, thought Sophronia, she is a better intelligencer than the school gives her credit.

Sophronia and her friends remained unaffected by the barbs. She and Sidheag played tiddlywinks while Dimity knitted. Dimity was fond of knitting and was currently attempting to craft small yellow booties for Bumbersnoot. She claimed this was practice for her future as a charitable lady of means. Sophronia secretly worried that the mechanimal would slide all over the floor—not to mention, why did a metal dog need warm feet?—but the act was kindly meant.

Then, in a twist of topic, Preshea and Monique began to discuss boys. “Lord Mersey, of course, is the cream on the cake. Getting him to attend can only be to the betterment of all concerned.”

Monique was confident. “I’m assured he will come. As will Lord Dingleproops. Of course, we can’t have young Vullrink, not after last night’s supper. Imagine using a knife for fish? And Mr. Plumleigh-Teignmott is right out.”

Preshea nodded sagely. “Too young?”

“Too ill connected.” Monique looked pointedly at Dimity.

Dimity glanced up from her needles. “He’ll only thank you for it. Pillover hates parties.”

“Oh, wonderful. It’s always so nice to know the unwelcome are also uncaring of their social standing,” sneered Monique. She probably would have gone on with her commentary until their next lesson, but the perimeter alarm trumpeted.

Dimity put down her knitting.

The girls stayed in their parlor, as they had been instructed. Even Sophronia, who was inclined to take to the hull to investigate, remained seated. With all the manufactured fog it would be impossible to see who approached, a fact that was worrying in and of itself. If someone had managed to spot and attack the school despite their cloud disguise, that someone had superior technology.

They waited with bated breath for the ship to shake with cannon fire, for the fateful lean and sway of a balloon collapsing. Nothing happened. They listened for the sound of timber splitting. Still nothing. In short order, the trumpeting stopped with no apparent reaction from ship, mechanicals, or staff.

“Must have been a false alarm,” said Dimity into the ensuing silence.

The girls, with nothing better to do, prepared for their next lesson. Even Monique was sobered by the strange experience.

They had foreign languages and lipreading with Lady Linette next. None of the boys were present. Apparently, gentlemen didn’t require foreign tongues. They moved from there on to tea and subterfuge with Mademoiselle Geraldine. Since the headmistress had no idea of the true nature of her own school, the exact kind of subterfuge was always assigned by one of the other teachers. Today, however, Lady Linette informed them that this time they should know what to do when they arrived.

Excited by the mystery, the girls hurried through the hallways to be met in the tassel section by Professor Shrimpdittle, trailing a sullen-looking Lord Dingleproops, Lord Mersey, and Pillover Plumleigh-Teignmott. The ten of them entered Mademoiselle Geraldine’s quarters together.

As ever, the walls were lined with shelves of fake pastries, and the headmistress rose to welcome them from behind a large table set with a full tea service. She had known to expect a larger than normal gathering, for there were twelve place settings. Her décolletage heaved with appreciation. Mademoiselle Geraldine loved company.

Sitting next to her, in the place of honor, was an elderly female. She wore eccentric dress for a woman in the later part of life. Her wild gray hair was loose and her forehead bound over with a colorful scarf, like a sky pirate. Her jewelry was bronze and gold and more prevalent than Dimity’s at her most sparkly. The stranger’s complexion was tan in a manner that young ladies of quality were cautioned against. Her eyes were lined thickly with kohl. Her attire seem to be composed utterly of brightly colored scarves tied in layers.

Dimity gasped in appreciation. “A fortune-teller!”

“How very esoteric, Madam G.!” crowed Lord Dingleproops, striding up to the headmistress to clap her on the shoulder, rather as a man would approach a fellow at his club. Mademoiselle Geraldine looked at him as though he were a collapsed soufflé, and he backed away hastily.

The girls tittered in elation. Even Pillover looked pleased, and he was rarely pleased by anything.

We didn’t go down low to retrieve her, thought Sophronia. How did she get on board?

“Very good, Miss Plumleigh-Teignmott. We have indeed been graced with the presence of a fortune-teller.”

Sophronia wondered, “Did you set off the alarm?”

The fortune-teller’s eyes sharpened on her.

Sophronia realized she had revealed more of her personality with that one question than was healthy. She was, after all, the only one who’d jumped straight to logistics rather than the exciting possibility of having her palm read.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please be seated. Madame Spetuna has been retained for the evening to tell your fortunes.” Mademoiselle Geraldine was wearing a lightweight muslin gown of chartreuse with cream stripes. It was a dress that better suited one of her students. Each stripe was patterned with pink roses. There was fringe all up the length of the sleeves and about the low square neckline that displayed the headmistress’s assets to great effect. Said assets heaved as she inhaled, and Professor Shrimpdittle looked as though he might faint.

She continued, “Given that there are ten of you, we must keep the readings brief. So tuck in quickly to the nibbly bits while we do so, and don’t stand on ceremony. If Miss Pelouse would pour the tea? Miss Buss, why don’t you sit first?”

Preshea took the seat closest to the fortune-teller with alacrity.

Madame Spetuna looked her over. “Ze cards, I think, for you, dark child.”

Preshea was made to pick five cards from a deck and lay them out carefully on the damask tablecloth. Madame Spetuna rearranged them a few times before settling on a pattern she liked.

This must be today’s subterfuge challenge. We are to ensure the fortune-teller doesn’t reveal anything to Mademoiselle Geraldine about our real training. Sophronia, nibbling a biscuit, sat back to watch. She wondered about the fortune-teller. Does she know what we do here? Or does she, like Mademoiselle Geraldine, think it is a normal, albeit floating, finishing school?

“Ah,” breathed Madame Spetuna, “this is most interesting. Most interesting indeed. You, my child, will marry well. More than once. A charmed life, so long as you weave a tight net, little spider.” The lady retrieved the cards and shuffled them back together into one stack in an attitude of dismissal.

Taking this as a sign her fortune was complete, Preshea stood. Looking particularly pleased with life, she passed over a few coins and gave Madame Spetuna a nice curtsy.

Mademoiselle Geraldine was fanning herself. “Oh, dear, oh, dear, Miss Buss. Let us hope it is widowhood and not”—she whispered the next word—“divorce that leads to your multiple marriages.”

Preshea sat and sipped from a china cup. “I shouldn’t worry, Headmistress. I am tolerably certain it will be widowhood.”

Mademoiselle Geraldine was reassured by this. Preshea’s future husbands probably wouldn’t have been. Even Lord Dingleproops, ordinarily unconcerned by those around him, looked apprehensively at the beautiful dark-haired girl. She gave him a wicked smile and a coy lowering of the lashes.

Reel it in, Preshea. Sophronia glanced nervously at the headmistress. But Mademoiselle Geraldine was waving the next victim forward.

Dimity took the danger seat. “I admire your fashion sense,” she told the fortune-teller with absolute sincerity.

Madame Spetuna tucked a lock of hair behind her ear—in which there were three earrings!

Dimity’s eyes sparkled.

“For you, the palm,” said Madame Spetuna.

Wide-eyed, Dimity presented the fortune-teller with both hands. Madame Spetuna bent over them, the many rings on her fingers flashing as she traced the lines.

Sophronia heard Monique whisper to Preshea, “I wouldn’t allow such a dirty, common creature to touch me!”

Madame Spetuna gave no indication of having heard. “You wish for a simple life, magpie. You will not get it. You will choose, many times, between loyalty and peace. A terrible choice.” She looked up at Dimity, her dark eyes sad. “I am sorry.”

Dimity nodded, her round face somber. “That’s all right, Madame Spetuna. I always suspected it might be so.”

Since she had forgotten her reticule, Dimity slid off one of her own many bracelets and gave it to the fortune-teller. They exchanged the smiles of kindred spirits.

Mademoiselle Geraldine called Monique. The older girl hid her excitement with a haughty expression. She sat and took up the cards without Madame Spetuna suggesting she do so.

“You are attracted to the cards, moonbeam? Good. It is always better when one is summoned.”

Once the icy blonde had selected five cards, the fortune-teller bent over them for a time. “You will never be as important as you think you are. That is all.”

“What do you know, old woman?” Monique stood with a sneer and left without offering a gratuity.

When she went to sit, Mademoiselle Geraldine wrapped the girl’s knuckles hard with a fan. “Manners!”

Monique, without further comment, curtsied to the fortune-teller and returned to her tea and Preshea’s questionable council.

Then it was Agatha’s turn. The redhead asked, in a hesitant voice, if her fortune might be told privately. Sophronia thought to warn her that this might not be permitted by Lady Linette under the subterfuge clause, but there wasn’t time. Madame Spetuna agreed.

Agatha was also given the cards. After her selection was laid on the table, Madame Spetuna whispered in her ear. Whatever Agatha’s fortune, it cheered the chubby girl. She was almost animated and passed over a ridiculously large sum to Madame Spetuna in thanks.

Sophronia wished she were a fortune-teller. It would be an admirable way to inspire discomfort. Professor Shrimpdittle, for example, might be shaken into distrusting Bunson’s. Then again… I wonder how much it costs to buy a fortune? Sophronia assessed her own meager funds. Then, while Agatha bumbled back to her seat, Sophronia pulled out a scrap of paper and a bit of graphite from her reticule. Three shillings, she wrote, to imply that Bunson’s headmaster no longer trusts Prof S. There was no time to code the note; she simply had to hope the fortune-teller was game.

Sidheag assumed the seat with a certain bravado. She held out her hands without being asked.

“You have done this before, wolf child?” Madame Spetuna’s eyes were sharp on Sidheag’s face.

Sidheag nodded.

“Then what I tell you will be no different. You know your fate and you cannot escape it. Why do you dally here pretending to be tame?”

Sidheag nodded and stood to resume her seat. Her curtsy was perfunctory, but the fortune-teller did not take offense. It was almost as if she knew Sidheag’s curtsies were always perfunctory.

Finally Madame Spetuna gestured to Sophronia.

Sophronia went eagerly. Suspicious nonsense, of course, but terribly fun suspicious nonsense. I wish Soap could have his fortune told. He’d love it.

Madame Spetuna looked her up and down. She said, “The palm, I think, for you.”

Sophronia offered both hands.

The fortune-teller seized them by the wrists. Her touch was soft and dry, and she smelled of exotic spices Sophronia could not place. I must train my nose, she thought. Such information could be important, particularly if a given smell is associated with an enemy or an informant.

“Even now, you think only in terms of the game. You are well chosen, little bird. Or are you a stoat?” Madame Spetuna bent forward, looking even harder at Sophronia’s palms. She was close enough for Sophronia to feel the woman’s breath on her skin. “Give your heart wisely.” She paused a long time over one particular wrinkle. “Oh, child, you will end the world as we know it.” Madame Spetuna swallowed and then turned Sophronia’s hands over and placed them, palm down, on the table. She leaned forward, pressing them into the tablecloth as though she might rub out what she had seen.

It was an admirable performance. Sophronia thought she ought to applaud. Everyone was silent in awe. Sophronia looked over at Felix. He was making a face.

Then Monique giggled. “Stoat, of course Sophronia’s a stoat.”

Mademoiselle Geraldine recovered her composure. “What a very odd fortune, Miss Temminnick. What game could she possibly be referring to?”

“Oh, Headmistress, we have been playing loo these last few nights. Perhaps it is that?” Sophronia lied easily.

Mademoiselle Geraldine looked relieved. “Oh, yes, indeed. Now, which of the gentlemen would like to go next?”

Sophronia stood, reached into her reticule, and passed the fortune-teller a shilling and the note. Since handling and exchanging money was always an embarrassment, everyone made a point of not really watching the gratuity.

Sophronia pretended to get her skirt caught in the chair as she rose. In a flurry of long sleeves she bent and almost tipped Madame Spetuna’s teacup over. Under cover of this, the fortune-teller opened and read the note.

By the time Sophronia had sorted herself, and the chair, out—Mademoiselle Geraldine reprimanding her for such unladylike clumsiness—the note had vanished, and Madame Spetuna was giving Sophronia a funny look.

Sophronia arched one eyebrow. She’d been practicing that expression for days; it was a very intelligencer sort of skill, and she felt she ought to know how to do it. Her eyebrow twitched slightly and didn’t arch gracefully, but it got her point across.

The fortune-teller nodded, almost imperceptibly.

Pillover assumed the seat. “It’s all nonsense, of course.”

Madame Spetuna used the cards on him. “You are greater than the sum of your parts,” she said.

Pillover looked doubtfully down at his tubby form. Sophronia wondered at a woman dressed in scarves quoting Aristotle.

Madame Spetuna continued. “And you will never make your father happy. Stop trying.”

Pillover drooped.

Lord Dingleproops was next. “What a lark!”

“Wager to win, my lord, not to lose.”

“That’s all you have to say to me?”

“Wager any more and you could learn nothing at all.”

“You speak in riddles. Come on, Felix, saddle up.”

Felix assumed the seat, lounging back as was his insolent manner. His posture always gave the impression of not caring. About anything.

“You will not repeat your father’s mistakes. You will make new ones, all your own.”

“Very meaningful, Madame Spetuna. Of course, you might suspect any young man of being somewhat at odds with his father.” Felix’s eyes were narrowed.

Madame Spetuna only looked at him and adjusted the red-and-gold shawl around her shoulders.

The young viscount slouched over to take a seat opposite Sophronia and next to Monique. He ought have talked to Monique, but instead he said to Sophronia, “Occult nonsense.”

Sophronia blinked at him, her green eyes very direct. “Well, are you, my lord?”

“Am I what?”

“At odds with your father?”

“Is that interest I see at last, Ria, my dove?” Felix smiled and turned to talk with Monique.

Sophronia was left in possession of the field but also feeling as though she had lost something. I must get better at extracting information. She considered. Perhaps he requires feminine sympathy?

Mademoiselle Geraldine, meanwhile, was urging Professor Shrimpdittle to have his fortune told. The good professor looked as if he would rather not, but the headmistress’s assets were clearly irresistible. He took the seat.

The fortune-teller grabbed his hand and said, “You have troubles at school? Your headmaster, he does not value your contribution? This trip, it is to get you away, to keep you from becoming important.”

Professor Shrimpdittle was agitated. “How do you know?”

“The spirits do not lie.”

“There are no spirits, not that science has proven. Ghosts, of course, but not spirits.”

“And yet, you fear I speak truth.”

Professor Shrimpdittle, attuned to the interest of his own students, fell silent. But the seed of suspicion had been planted.

Sophronia palmed three shillings, ready to complete her end of the bargain.

Madame Spetuna was about to say more when a knock on the door interrupted her.

“Who could that possibly be?” wondered Mademoiselle Geraldine. “Everyone knows I am in an important session.”

As if this tea were a meeting of Parliament.

“Come in,” yelled the headmistress.

Vieve poked her head in. “Sorry to disturb, Mademoiselle Geraldine, but I heard… oh, yes! Bully! A fortune-teller! May I have mine done, please?”

“Oh, I don’t think we have the time—”

Professor Shrimpdittle delicately interrupted the headmistress by rising to his feet. “By all means, let the child take my place.”

“If you don’t mind, Professor?”

Vieve trotted over and sat, little legs dangling.

The fortune-teller looked the scamp over and then looked at her palms briefly. “You are too young, as yet, to be fully formed. I can tell you only one thing. You are doomed to be lucky in matters of the head and unlucky in matters of the heart.”

Vieve grinned. “That’s good enough for me. I’d rather the first over the second.”

The fortune-teller shook her head sadly. “Which only proves how very young you are. And now, I am fatigued. Mademoiselle Geraldine, if I might beg to rest before the next session?”

“Of course, my boudoir is just there. Please, avail yourself of the amenities.”

Madame Spetuna left the room with barely a nod at her former customers. She brushed past Sophronia and scooped up the three coins, which Sophronia held casually behind her seat back. It was as if Madame Spetuna had been conducting covert operations her whole life. Very professional.

Sophronia turned to watch the fortune-teller retreat. The lady was quite short, and she moved slowly. I must remember that kind of garb as a good disguise. I should invest in colored scarves. My list of necessities gets ever longer. Perhaps I should also take the time to learn the basics of fortune-telling to go alongside. It seemed a matter of making statements vague enough to be possibly true or predictions far enough in the future to be irrelevant.

The girls discussed their precognitive tea later that evening. After much analysis of their own fortunes, and everyone else’s, Sophronia brought the subject around to the fortune-teller herself.

“Of course, she can’t possibly be a real fortune-teller.”

“Why ever not?” wondered Agatha, who wanted to believe in what she had been told. Whatever that had been. She was keeping her own council on the matter, despite Sophronia’s needling.

“Don’t you think she’s one of ours?” Sophronia was casual in her assertions. “Returned to report in person on some dangerous matter?”

“Oh.” Dimity was impressed. “You think she is an agent in disguise?”

Sophronia nodded.

“How do you know?” Sidheag demanded. “She realized that I’d had my fortune told before. She seemed genuine.”

Sophronia did not want to tell them about the bribe and Professor Shrimpdittle. Discrediting a man’s reputation was shabby work. They’d been taught a little of it, but it was considered dirty, even by Lady Linette. Character sabotage was morally hazardous to both parties. Sophronia was outside her depth with this operation, and her friends would take her to task for it. Especially as she was campaigning against an adult. Monique was one thing, but a teacher?

But there was something about the fortune-teller. A broach hidden among her scarves in the shape of an onion. The fact that she had come aboard in secret and while they were floating. Combined with something Sister Mattie had said about the intermediary, the one who missed the shipment of pillows. She had to take the opportunity to infiltrate the flywaymen. Flywaymen were supposed to be very superstitious, so fortune-teller would make a great cover for a spy.