Asil dreamed of a familiar house: small and well made, a house built for a warm climate with carefully tended orange trees by the door. He paused beside the bench positioned where it would catch the shade of the biggest orange tree when the sun was high in the sky. Running a finger over the clumsy jointing between two of the pieces that formed the back, he wished vainly that he’d had time to fix it.
Even knowing what was going to happen, he couldn’t make himself stay by the bench, not when Sarai was in the house. He had no photographs of her, nor had any of the paintings he’d attempted ever done her justice. His artistic talent was plebeian at best. Only in his dreams did he see her.
He took only a step and found himself in the main room. Half shop, half kitchen, the room should have been utilitarian, but Sarai had hung baskets of plants and painted flowers on tiles set in the floor, making it feel welcoming. On the worktable set near the back of the room, his mate ground a cinnamon stick into fine powder with quick, competent hands.
He sucked in the air to savor her scent, flavored by the spice she worked with, as it often was. His favorite was Sarai and vanilla, but Sarai and cinnamon was almost as good.
She was so beautiful to him, even though he knew that others might not find her so. Her hands were callused and strong, with nails trimmed blunt. The short sleeves of her dress showed muscles gained both from her work and from running as a wolf in the wilds of the nearby hills. Her nose, which she despaired of, was long and strong, with a delightful little bump on the end.
He reached out, but he could not touch her. “Sarai?”
When she didn’t turn to him, he knew that it was going to be the bad dream. He fought to get free as hard as one of his wild-wolf cousins with a foot caught in an iron trap might have, but he couldn’t chew off his leg or force the trap that held him here. So he had to watch, helpless, as it happened again.
Hooves rang on the cobbles he’d laid outside the door to keep the mud at bay. Sarai clicked her tongue lightly on the roof of her mouth in displeasure-she had always hated to be interrupted in the middle of mixing her medicines.
Still, she set her mortar and pestle aside and brushed off her apron. Irritated or not, he knew she would never turn up her nose at business. Money was not to be sneezed at, not in those days. And, for Sarai, there should have been nothing dangerous about a visitor.
A human soldier was no threat to a woman who was also a werewolf, and Napoleon’s rise to power had interrupted that other, more dangerous, warfare. The few witchblood families left in Europe had quit killing each other at last, forced instead to protect themselves from the ravages of more mundane fighting. She had no reason to worry, and she couldn’t hear Asil’s frantic attempts to warn her.
The door opened, and for a moment, Asil saw what Sarai had.
The woman in the doorway was slight-boned and fragile-looking. Her dark hair, usually unruly and curly, had been tamed and rolled into a bun, but the severe style only made her look younger. She was sixteen years old. Like Sarai she was dark-haired and dark-eyed, but unlike her foster mother, her features were refined and aristocratic.
“Mariposa, child,” Sarai exclaimed. “What are you doing riding so far on your own? There are soldiers everywhere! If you wanted to visit, you should have told me and I’d have sent Hussan out for you to keep you safe.”
It had been two hundred years since anyone had called him by that name, and the sound of it hurt his heart.
Mariposa’s mouth tightened a little. “I didn’t want to bother you. I’m safe enough.” Even in his dreams he knew that her voice sounded odd, unlike herself: cold. His Mariposa, his little butterfly, had been emotional above all, dancing from anger to sullenness to sunshine with scarcely a breath between.
Sarai frowned at her. “No one is safe enough. Not in these times.” But even as she scolded her, she enfolded the girl she’d reared as her own in her arms. “You’ve grown, child, let me look at you.” She took two steps back and shook her head. “You don’t look well. Are you all right? Linnea promised she’d take care of you…but these are dark times.”
“I’m fine, Sarai,” Mariposa told her, but the girl’s voice was wrong, flat and confident-and she was lying.
Sarai frowned at her and put her hands on her hips. “You know better than to try lying to me. Has someone hurt you?”
“No,” Mariposa replied in a low voice. Asil could feel her power amass around her, different now than it had been when they’d first sent her to her own kind for training. Her magic had been wild and hot, but this power was as dark and cold as her voice had been.
She smiled, and for a minute he could see the child she’d once been instead of the witch she had become. “I’ve learned a lot from Linnea. She taught me how to make sure no one can ever hurt me again. But I need your help.”
The doorbell woke Asil up before he had to watch Sarai die again. He lay in his empty bed and smelled the sweat of terror and despair. His own.
Charles made himself at home on the old wolf’s porch swing and tried to lose himself in Indian time. It was a trick he’d never quite mastered-his grandfather had always grumbled that his father’s spirit was too strong within him.
He knew Asil had heard the doorbell, he could hear the spit of the shower-and he’d never expect Asil to do him the courtesy of a quick appearance, especially when his visit had come at such an ungodly early hour in the morning. He and Anna would be getting a late start, but their prey wasn’t a fish who was best caught in the dawn’s light anyway. And this was more important to him than catching a rogue, even if that rogue was killing people.
He’d almost gone to his father instead of Asil after he’d talked to Heather at Bran’s house. It was only the scent of his stepmother that kept him from knocking on Bran’s bedroom door. This morning, Charles hadn’t been up to the dance Leah would insist he perform. When she had driven him to being rude (and she would), his father would intervene; no one, not even one of his sons, was allowed to be disrespectful of the Marrok’s mate. And then there would be no discussion anyway.
So he went to the only other person who might understand what had happened, why the bond between him and Anna wasn’t complete: Asil, whose mate had been an Omega. Asil, who disliked him almost as much as Leah did, though for different reasons.
Brother Wolf thought that there might be a lot of amusement to be found in this morning’s talk. Amusement or fighting-and the wolf relished them both.
Charles sighed and watched the fog of his breath disappear into the cold air. It might be that this was a wasted effort. Part of him wanted to give it more time. Just because the slow part of the mating process, when wolf accepted wolf, had been finished almost as soon as he first saw her, didn’t mean that the other half would work so fast.
But something told him that there was more wrong than time alone could solve. And a man who had a werewolf for a father and a wisewoman for a mother knew when he ought to listen to his intuition.
Behind him, the door opened abruptly.
Charles continued to rock the porch swing gently back and forth. Encounters with Asil usually started with a power play of some sort.
After a few minutes, Asil walked past the porch swing to the railing that enclosed the porch. He hopped on it, one bare foot flat on the rail, leg bent. The other fell carelessly off to the side. He wore jeans and nothing else, and his wet hair, where it wasn’t touching his skin, began to frost in the cold, matching the silver marks that decorated his back; Asil was one of the few werewolves Charles had seen who bore scars. The marks sliced into the back of his ribs where some other werewolf had damaged him-almost exactly, Charles realized, where his own wounds were. But Asil’s scars had been inflicted by claws, not bullet holes.
He posed a lot, did Asil. Charles was never sure if it was deliberate or only an old habit.
Asil stared out at the woods beyond his house, still encased in the shadows of early morning before dawn, rather than looking at Charles. Despite the recent shower, Charles could smell fear and anguish. And he remembered what Asil had said at the funeral: that he’d been dreaming again.
“Sometimes my father can ward your sleep,” Charles murmured.
Asil let out a harsh laugh, bowed his head, and pinched his nose. “Not from these. Not anymore. Now why are you waiting here for me this fine morning?” He made a grandiose gesture that took in the winter, the cold, and the time of day in one overblown movement of his arm.
“I want you to tell me about Omega wolves,” Charles said.
Asil’s eyes widened with comically exaggerated surprise. “Problems so soon, pup?”
Charles just nodded. “Anna barely knows about being a werewolf. It would be helpful if at least one of us knew something about the Omega aspect.”
Asil stared at him for a moment, and the superficial amusement faded. “This might be a long conversation,” he said at last. “Why don’t you come in and have a cup of tea?”
Charles sat at a small table and watched as Asil busied himself preparing tea as if he were a Japanese geisha, where every movement was important and exact. Whatever his dream had been, it had really thrown Asil from his usual game of playing the crazy werewolf. It was only seeing him like this that let Charles understand just how much of a performance most of Asil’s histrionics were. This was what happened when Asil was truly disturbed: overly precise movements, fussing about nonsense and things that didn’t matter.
It didn’t make him any less crazy or any less dangerous, but he saw at last the reason his father had not put Asil out of everyone’s misery, yet.
“Tea never tastes quite as good here,” the Moor said, setting a delicate china cup edged in gold in front of Charles. “The altitude doesn’t let the water get hot enough. The best tea is brewed at sea level.”
Charles lifted the cup and took a sip, waiting for Asil to settle down.
“So,” the other werewolf said, taking a seat opposite Charles, “just what do you need to know about Omegas?”
“I’m not sure.” Charles ran a finger around the edge of the cup. Now that he was here, he was reluctant to expose the problem with Anna to a man who wanted to be his enemy. He settled on, “Why don’t you start by telling me exactly how they differ from submissive wolves.”
Asil raised his brows. “Well, if you still think that your mate is submissive, you’re in for a real surprise.”
Charles couldn’t help but smile at that. “Yes. I deduced that right off.”
“We who are dominant tend to think of that aspect of being a werewolf as rank: who is obeyed, who is to obey. Dominant and submissive. But it is also who is to protect and who is to be protected. A submissive wolf is not incapable of protecting himself: he can fight, he can kill as readily as any other. But a submissive doesn’t feel the need to fight-not the way a dominant does. They are a treasure in a pack. A source of purpose and of balance. Why does a dominant exist? To protect those beneath him, but protecting a submissive is far more rewarding because a submissive will never wait until you are wounded or your back is turned to see if you are truly dominant to him. Submissive wolves can be trusted. And they unite the pack with the goal of keeping them safe and cared for.”
He took a sip of tea and snorted. “Discussing this in English sounds like I am talking about a sexual relationship- ridiculous.”
“If Spanish suits you better, feel free,” offered Charles.
Asil shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. You know about all of this. We have our submissive wolves here. You know their purpose.”
“When I met Anna, for the first time in my life, the wolf slept.”
All casualness erased, Asil lifted his eyes from his tea to look at Charles. “Yes,” he whispered. “That’s it. They can let your wolf rest, let it be tranquil.”
“I don’t always feel like that around her.”
Asil laughed, spitting tea in his cup, at which he gave a rueful look, then set it aside. “I should hope not, not if you are her mate. Why would you want to be around someone who emasculated you that way all the time? Turn you from a dominant to submissive by her very presence? No. She doesn’t have to soothe you all the time.”
He wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin, which he tidied and set beside his cup. “How long has she been a werewolf? ”
“Three years.”
“Well then, I expect it’s all just instinct right now. Which means that if you aren’t feeling the effects all the time, either she feels very safe with you-or you’ve got her so unsettled she doesn’t have any peace to share.” He grinned wolfishly. “Which one of those do you think it is? How many people aren’t afraid of you at some level?”
“Is that what bothers you?” asked Charles, honestly curious. “You aren’t afraid of me.”
Asil stilled. “Of course I am.”
“You don’t have the good sense to be afraid of me.” Charles shook his head and went back to his questions. “Omegas serve much the same purpose in a pack as submissives, but more so, right?”
Asil laughed, a genuine laugh this time. “So now do I defend myself by saying ‘of course I have enough sense to be afraid’?”
Charles, tired of the games, just sighed. “There is a difference, between submissive and Omega. I can feel it, but I don’t know what it means. Instead of following anyone’s orders, she follows no one’s. I get that.”
“An Omega has all the protective instincts of an Alpha and none of the violent tendencies,” Asil said, clearly grumpy at being pulled back to the point. “Your Anna is going to lead you a merry chase, making sure that everyone in her pack is happy and sheltered from anything that might harm them.”
That was it. He could almost pull the strings together. Anna’s wolf wasn’t violent…just strong and protective. How had Anna’s adjustment to being a werewolf-and to her systematic abuse-affected the wolf?
Thinking aloud, Charles said, “Pain makes a dominant more violent while it does just the opposite to a submissive wolf. What happens to an Omega who is tortured?” If he’d been thinking of Asil rather than Anna, he would never have put it in those terms.
The Moor’s face paled and his scent fluctuated wildly. He surged to his feet, knocking over his chair and sending the table spinning until it hit the far wall and crashed onto its side.
Charles rose slowly and set his teacup on the counter nearest him. “My apologies, Asil. I did not mean to remind you of things best forgotten.”
Asil stood for a moment more, on the verge of attack, then all the taut muscles went lax, and he looked tired to the depths of his soul. Without a word he left the room.
Charles rinsed out his cup and turned it upside down in the sink. He was not usually so careless. Asil’s mate had died, tortured to death by a witch who used her pain and death to gain power. For all that he found Asil irritating-especially his latest and most effective method of torment: Anna-he’d never deliberately use Asil’s mate’s death to torment him. But more apologies would accomplish nothing.
He muttered a soft plea for blessing upon the house, as his mother’s brother had taught him, and left.
Anna was glad Charles drove this time. The icy roads gave him no apparent concern, though they slid around enough that she dug her nails into the handle conveniently located above the window of her door.
He hadn’t said much to her this morning after he’d returned from consulting with the forest ranger. His eyes were distant, as if the teasing, gentle man she’d woken up with was gone.
Her fault.
She hadn’t expected to feel so much after she’d sent her wolf to sleep while she showered. They both needed the break after maintaining that fine balance, and she had just expected that the wolf would take that gut-wrenching need with her. Anna had never felt like that for any man-and it was both embarrassing and scary.
She’d showered for a long time, but it didn’t go away. She might have been all right if it hadn’t been for his playfulness this morning…but she doubted it. Feeling that strongly left you so very vulnerable, and she was afraid she couldn’t keep it from her face.
When she had to leave the shower, she’d been so worried about not letting him know how she felt she hadn’t noticed how her awkward shyness…and fear…had affected him. He’d come up with his own conclusions-all the wrong ones, she was afraid.
She glanced at his closed-off face. She had no idea how to fix this. The motion brought her face closer to her borrowed clothing. She lifted her arm and sniffed the sleeve of the shirt she wore and wrinkled her nose.
She didn’t think he’d taken his eyes off the road, but he said, “You don’t stink.”
“It’s just weird to smell human,” she told him. “You don’t think much about what you smell like until it changes.”
Before they’d left, he’d taken the clothes that Tag had brought over and had her put on the dirty T-shirt and donned a similarly dirty sweatshirt. Then he’d run his hands over her in a manner not quite impersonal, chanting in a language she’d never heard before, at once nasal and musical. When he was finished, she smelled like the human woman whose shirt she was borrowing, and he smelled like a human man.
He had a little magic, he’d told her, gifts inherited from his mother. She wondered what else he could do, but it felt impolite to ask. She’d never been around anyone who could actually work magic before, and it left her a little more in awe of him than she already was. The Chicago pack had stories about magic-using people, but she’d never paid much attention to them; she’d had more than enough to deal with just being a werewolf.
She fanned her fingers out on her thigh and stretched them.
“Quit worrying,” Charles told her, his voice gentle enough, but without the inflection that meant he was talking to her, not someone he’d just picked up off the street. She’d just realized this morning that he’d been talking to her differently-because he stopped.
The snow-covered mountains, taller than the Sears Tower, rose on either side of the road, as cold and solid as the man beside her. She wondered if it was his business face she was dealing with. Maybe he locked down everything in preparation for killing someone he didn’t know in order to protect his pack-maybe it wasn’t her fault.
She was uncomfortable and frightened-and trying to hide it. Asil had told him that everyone was frightened of him. He wished he knew what he could say to fix it. To fix something, anything.
After leaving Asil’s, he’d turned the problem over in his head-problems, really, though he was starting to believe that they were two aspects of the same issue. The first was her fear of him this morning-or maybe fear of what they’d done with so much pleasure the night before. He had enough experience to ensure that she had enjoyed it. It hadn’t seemed to bother her until she went to the shower. Since there were no monsters lurking in his house (besides him), he was pretty sure that it was something in Anna that had changed.
One of the danger signs they watched for in a new werewolf was a sudden change in personality or mood that seemed to have no obvious cause, an indication that the beast was gaining control of the human. If Anna hadn’t been three years a werewolf and Omega besides, he’d have thought her beast was taking control.
Maybe the opposite was true. Omegas have all the protective instincts of an Alpha, Asil had said. Could her wolf have taken over last night?
His father taught the new wolves that the wolf was part of them, just a series of urges that needed to be controlled. It seemed to help most of them in the transition phase. Scaring them by telling them there were monsters living in their heads would certainly not help them gain the control necessary to be allowed out into the wide world.
It was a useful fiction that, as far as Charles could see, sometimes was true. His father, for instance, seemed to blend seamlessly from wolf to human and back. But most of the wolves who lasted eventually came to refer to their wolves as separate entities.
Charles couldn’t remember not knowing that there were two souls that caused his single heart to beat. Brother Wolf and he lived together harmoniously for the most part, utilizing the specialized skills of either for the sake of their goals. It was Brother Wolf who hunted, for instance-but if their prey was human or werewolf, it was always Charles who made the kill.
He’d seen over the years that the werewolves whose human and wolf were almost entirely separate-like Doc Wallace-usually didn’t survive long. Either they attacked someone older and stronger than they-or Charles had to kill them because they had no control over the wolf.
A werewolf who survived learned to integrate human and wolf and leave the human in the driver’s seat for the most part; except for when the moon called, when they were very angry…or when they were hurt. Torture a dominant, and the wolf came to the forefront. Torture a submissive, and you were left with the human.
With all the protective instincts of an Alpha and none of the aggression…and three years of abuse, maybe Anna’s wolf had discovered a way to protect her. That would explain why Leo had never succeeded in breaking her.
Maybe when his aggression last night had frightened her, her wolf had come out to play. And maybe that was why their human souls hadn’t bonded the way their wolves had.
Except that couldn’t be right, because he’d have noticed if the wolf was in ascendance. Even if he somehow had overlooked her eyes changing from brown to pale blue, he’d never have overlooked the change in her scent.
Charles was pretty sure it was something that Leo had done to her, or had someone else do to her, that was the root of his current troubles.
Getting angry wasn’t going to help with Anna, that much he could be certain of. So he pulled his thoughts from various ways he might torture Leo, who was, after all, already dead, and tried to think his way to a solution.
Charles was better at frightening people than removing their fear. He wasn’t sure how to discuss this morning, last night, and the way their mating had not been completed without making things worse.
If matters didn’t improve, he’d go to his father for advice…or Heaven help them all, Asil, again. If he explained everything in plain words, Asil might laugh at him, but he was too much a gentleman to leave Anna in trouble.
That left him with one more task. She needed to know that the other males would still feel free to offer themselves, because that was dangerous to her and anyone around him when someone tried.
And because she had the right to know that she might be able to accept one of those other males-at least that seemed to be Asil’s opinion. Charles thought that once their wolves had bonded it was permanent-but he didn’t know anyone who’d had that happen before their human selves had bonded. Maybe Anna could find someone who didn’t frighten her as he seemed to.
The Humvee was an artificial oasis, Anna thought. The heated leather seats and climate-controlled cabin seemed out of place in the endless expanse of still, frozen forest.
The dark, almost black, stands of evergreen trees stood out in stark contrast to the snow. Occasionally, roads, distinguishable more by the way they cut through the trees than by any vehicle track, branched off the highway they were traveling. As their road narrowed into a white scar between steep hills crowding in on both sides, she wondered if “highway” was the right word for it.
“Our mating bond didn’t become permanent last night,” he said out of the blue.
She stared at him, feeling the familiar flutter of panic. What did that mean? Had she done something wrong?
“You said that all we needed to do was…” She found she couldn’t quite get the next few words out. In the cold light of day they sounded so crude.
“Apparently I was wrong,” he told her. “I assumed since we’d gotten the most difficult part of being mated out of the way, all we needed was consummation.”
She didn’t know what to say to that.
“It is probably better,” he said abruptly.
“Why?” She hadn’t known if she’d be able to get out a word, but she sounded, to her ears, merely curious, none of the panicky feeling that had closed over her at his words evident in her voice.
But she didn’t come anywhere near the disinterested neutrality he brought to his voice. “The main reason I didn’t want to bring you with me today was that I didn’t want you to see me kill again, so soon. But I’ve been my father’s assassin for a hundred and fifty years; I don’t suppose that will change. It’s only fair that you see me clearly, when the hunt is upon me, before you choose.”
The steering wheel creaked under the force of his grip, but his voice was still calm, almost detached. “In my father’s pack there are a number of wolves who would worship the ground you walk upon. Wolves who are not killers.” He sucked in a little air and tried to give her a reassuring smile-but it stopped somewhere short of effective since all it did was show strong white teeth. “They are not all psychotic.”
He was trying to give her away again.
She looked at his white-knuckled hands-and suddenly she could breathe again. Telling her that she could look elsewhere was ticking him off, breaking that freaky calm he’d held since breakfast. She thought of his possessive rage last night and felt confidence steady her heart; he wanted her-no matter how stupid she’d been this morning. She could work with that. She couldn’t stay embarrassed about how much she wanted him forever, right? A week or two, and she should be over it. And a year or so afterward, the strength of what she felt for him wouldn’t scare her so badly, either.
Feeling better, Anna resettled herself in the Vee’s roomy seat so she could get a good look at him. What had he been talking about before he offered to give her up?
Being a killer.
“I know about killers,” she told him. “Leo’s pack had Justin. You remember him, right? He was a killer.” She tried to find a way to make the distinction clear. “You are justice.” That wasn’t the way-it sounded stupid.
“ ‘A rose by any other name…’ ” he said, angling his face away from her.
She took a deep breath to see if her nose could help her read what he felt, but all she could smell were the two strangers who had donated their clothing. Maybe she just didn’t know how to work her nose-or maybe he was better at controlling himself than most people were.
Charles was a careful man. Careful about what he said and careful of the people around him. One night in his bed, and she knew that. He cared. Cared about her, about his father, even about Heather’s Jack. Her stomach settled as she gathered the hints and actions into a coherent picture. How hard, she thought, must it have been for a man who cared so deeply to learn to kill, no matter how necessary it was?
“No,” she said firmly. Ahead of them, and off to the right, a series of spectacular peaks thrust defiantly into the heavens. Their snowcapped summits, unfettered by trees or vegetation, gleamed in the sun so brightly that even through the tinted windows they dazzled her eyes and called to her wolf. This was a place a werewolf could run.
“A killer is just a murderer,” she told him. “You follow rules, carry out justice and-try not to hate yourself for being good at your job.”
Her assessment, following the debacle of last night, took Charles totally by surprise. He looked at her, but she’d shut her eyes and snuggled down for a nap-his Anna who had been terrified of him not five minutes ago. Sleeping was not the usual reaction people had when he pointed out that he killed people.
The road they were following had more tracks than usual for this time of year-probably because of the Search and Rescue people. He hoped he and Anna wouldn’t run into any of them.
The calls he’d had Heather make this morning should result in no more untrained volunteers and amateurs out in the woods, at least. He had wanted to limit the damage the rogue wolf might do as best they could.
Heather had, at his request, pointed out that the man they were looking for had been missing for too long. They were probably only looking for a body, so there was no sense in risking additional lives. She’d told them about Jack-though she’d blamed a cougar-and pointed out that a storm front was moving in.
The few searchers remaining were concentrating their efforts about twenty miles west of Jack’s encounter with their rogue wolf-near where the missing man had left his truck, well away from any of the places the rogue werewolf had made his appearances. Charles and Anna shouldn’t encounter the searchers at all.
They were climbing now. The Humvee’s tires made a continuous crunching, moaning sound as they cut through the deepening snow. To the left, he occasionally caught a glimpse of the frozen creek, though mostly it was hidden by the thick brush choking the valley bottom. To the right, high-tension electrical wires ran between stark metal towers down a barren swath cut clear through the forest. Those wires, and the occasional need to maintain them, were the only reason for the lonely service road they followed.
Heat poured out of the Vee’s defroster. The warmth of the vehicle’s interior made the winter lands they drove through seem almost surreal, something separate from him. And as much as he usually hated that particular effect, he’d spent too much time in the snow and cold on horseback or on foot to dismiss the advantages of driving in as far as they could.
The climb got steeper, and he slowed the Vee to a crawl as it bounced and rolled over rocks and holes hidden by the snow. The wheels started to slip, so he slowed down and pushed the button to lock the axles. The resultant noise startled Anna awake.
Sometimes the extra width of the Humvee wasn’t as useful as it might have been. He was forced to put his left tires up on the bank to keep his right on the road, such as it was. The resultant tilt of the vehicle made Anna take one glance out her window and close her eyes, shrinking in her seat.
“If we roll, it probably won’t kill you,” he offered.
“Right,” she said in a snippy tone that delighted him for its lack of fear-at least fear of him. He wished he could tell how much of that was the wolf and how much Anna. “I shouldn’t worry about a few broken or crushed bones because I probably won’t die.”
“Maybe I should have brought Tag’s old Land Rover,” he told her. “It’s almost as good in the rough country, and it’s a lot narrower. But it has a rougher ride, an unreliable heater, and doesn’t quite get up to highway speed.”
“I thought we were going to a wilderness area,” she said, her eyes still tightly shut. “Aren’t motorized vehicles restricted? ”
“That’s right, but we’re on a road, so it’s okay.”
“This is a road?”
He laughed at her wry tone, and she made a rude gesture at him.
They topped the rise, and he managed to creep through the trees another couple of miles before it became too rough to continue. Someone had been out here in snowmobiles- probably the Search and Rescue-but most of the automobile tracks had disappeared a mile or more ago. The last set ended ten feet from where they sat-Tag’s, he assumed.
"How long are we going to be out?” Anna, adjusting the pack, asked, as they left the truck.
“That depends upon our quarry,” he told her. “I’ve packed for four -we’ll be walking in a loop that’ll lead us back here. If he doesn’t find us by then, we’ll quit trying to be human and go hunting him.” He shrugged. “This mountain range covers over two thousand square miles, so it might take us a while to find him if he’s trying to hide. If he’s guarding his territory and thinks we’re human intruders, he’ll hunt us and save us a lot of time and effort.”
Anna had been on a couple of camping trips with her family in Wisconsin while she was growing up, but nothing as isolated as this. The air froze her nostrils together when she breathed in too hard, and the tips of her ears got cold before Charles had pulled her hat down farther on her head.
She loved it.
“We need to keep our speed down,” Charles told her. “So that we look as human as we smell.” But the pace he set seemed pretty brisk to her.
Walking with snowshoes wasn’t as bad as she’d expected. When he’d tightened her straps to his satisfaction, he’d told her that the old beavertails or bearpaws had been almost as much trouble as help. The new snowshoes were one of the few inventions of modern life that he seemed to thoroughly approve of.
She had to scramble a bit to keep up with him. If this was slow, she wondered if he normally ran when he was in the woods, even in human form. None of his wounds seemed to be bothering him much, and there had been no fresh blood on his bandages this morning.
She pulled her thoughts away from why she’d had such a good look at the bandages this morning. Even so, she couldn’t help but look at him and smile, if only a little to herself. Out in the snow and covered with layers of clothing and coats, she felt insulated from the terrors of intimacy and could better appreciate the good parts.
And Charles had a lot of good parts. Under his coat she knew exactly how broad his shoulders were and how his skin darkened just a little behind his ears. She knew that his scent made her heart beat faster, and how his weight anchored her rather than trapped her beneath him.
Traveling behind him, safe from that penetrating gaze that always saw more than she was comfortable with, she could look her fill.
He was graceful, even in the snowshoes. He stopped now and then and stared into the trees, looking, he told her, for any motion that was out of place. In the woods, the wolf was closer to the surface. She could see it in the way he used his nose, sometimes stopping with his eyes closed to take in a breath and hold it. And in the way he communicated with her more with gestures than words.
“We’ll see more game down here than we will later, when we get higher,” he told her after pointing out a buck who was watching them warily from behind some heavy brush. “Most of the bigger animals stay down here, where it’s not as cold and there’s more food and less snow.”
And that was all he said for a long time, even when he stopped and gave her a bit of this or that he expected her to eat, mutely holding out jerky or a small package of freeze-dried apples. When she refused a second handful of the latter, he’d tucked them in her pocket.
Though she was usually more comfortable with conversation than silence, she felt no impulse to break into the sounds of the forest with words. There was something here that demanded reverence-and it would have been hard to talk and pant at the same time anyway.
After a while, she began to find the atmosphere a little spooky, which was pretty funny considering that she was a werewolf. She hadn’t expected the trees to be so dark-and the shadow of the mountain made it seem much later than it really was.
Sometimes she felt a little déjà vu. It took her a while to pin it down, but then she realized it felt like walking down in the Chicago Loop. Though the mountains were taller than the skyscrapers, there was that same odd sense of claustrophobia as the mountains ate into the sky.
Charles’s big, bright yellow backpack, selected for maximum visibility like her own neon pink one, was somehow reassuring. Not just the hint of civilization it carried with it, but that the man who carried it was as comfortable out here as she was in her apartment. The matte black rifle wasn’t as friendly. She could handle a pistol-her father used to take her to the shooting range-but that rifle was as far from her father’s.38 as a wolf was from a poodle.
The first time they climbed a steep section, it took her some time to figure out the best way to negotiate it in snowshoes. It was slower going and began to make her thighs burn with effort. Charles stayed beside her the whole way up. They climbed like that for over an hour, but it was worth it.
When they topped a ridge and briefly stood above the trees, Anna stopped dead, staring at the terrain below. The valley they’d been climbing, decked in white and bitter green, flowed away from them. It was spectacular…and lonely.
“Is this what it used to look like everywhere?” she asked in a hushed voice.
Charles, who was ahead of her because he’d only stopped after she did, glanced out over the wilderness. “Not everywhere, ” he said. “The scrublands have always looked like scrublands. This spring I’ll take you out into the Missions, and we’ll do a little technical climbing. If you’re enjoying this, you’ll love that.” He’d been watching her, too, she thought, if he’d seen how much fun she was having.
“The Missions are even more spectacular than these- though they’re pure hell if you are really trying to cross them. Straight up, straight down, and not much in between. Not that this is going to be easy, either. By the time they started setting aside wilderness areas, the only wild country left was pretty rugged.”
He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a granola bar. “Eat this.” And he watched until she pulled off a glove to rip the package open and gnaw on the carob-coated bar before starting on one for himself.
“You’re a bit of a mother hen,” she told him, not sure whether to be irritated or not.
He grunted. “If you were human, you’d be feeling this cold. It’s only a little below freezing now, but don’t underestimate the weather. You’re burning a lot of fuel keeping warm, and you aren’t up to fighting weight to start with. So you’re stuck with me shoveling food down you as fast as I can for the duration of this trip-might as well get used to it.”