Crusader

Chapter 35

The mass of the scourge moved in a fluid line, not interfering much with each other as they ran, more slowly, behind Windrider as he carried Cyrus and Aisling toward the top of the hill. Far, far behind them, Cyrus could see the line of the Sanctuary formation falling back, Terian watching him from a far distance, along with Curatio. “They don’t know that Terian tried to kill me, do they?”

“I don’t think so,” Aisling said, “unless one of them was paying more attention than I was, and I doubt it because I was the first one to start back for you.”

“Then he’s with them now,” Cyrus said. “Hopefully he doesn’t have any righteous vengeance he’d like to inflict on anyone else.”

“It seems to me,” Aisling said, the wind blowing her white hair into his face, “he’s known for quite some time that you killed his father. I’ve seen him carrying that blade since before we left Sanctuary. So why did he wait until now to strike you down?”

“I don’t think he did,” Cyrus said. “He let Partus kill me before, at Harrow’s Crossing.”

“But he must have known you’d get resurrected,” she said, her hands clutching the reins, holding on tight as they continued forward. “He can’t have thought that would kill you.”

“I don’t know what he’s thinking,” Cyrus said. “Maybe he didn’t want to get caught and waited for a moment he thought he could get away with it.”

Aisling seemed to think about that. “He very nearly did; this was the perfect time. No one could have recovered your body from that onslaught, not with the numbers we were against.”

Cyrus waited a beat before he answered her. “You did.”

She kept facing away from him, looking straight ahead, the wind brushing past both of them as he realized for the first time that his hands were snug on her hips. “I’m no one,” she said. “At least to you I have been.” They reached the top of the hill and Windrider went on, west, toward the mountains in the distance. The mountain to the south of them was high, and a series of cliffs and gullies was visible to block them from passage. “Can’t go south, can’t go north because these little bastards are pretty heavy thataway … same with east, since we just came from that direction.”

“West it is,” Cyrus said, and Windrider galloped on, not waiting for any other word on the matter. They plunged into a copse of withered pines as the land slumped down, and Cyrus kept an eye on the ground above them on the hill. It remained empty for quite some time, until finally he saw the first of the scourge crest it, a mile or so behind them. “They’re pursuing,” he said. “Not very quickly, but they are coming for us.”

“That’s of some consolation,” she said, “because I’m not planning to stop to let them catch up anytime soon. And I doubt your horse is going to stop for water until he has to, unless I miss my guess.” A breathy snort greeted her words. “Clever one, aren’t you?”

They continued downward, along a loping plateau, still moving toward a mountain in the distance. “I’m hoping there’s a pass somewhere around here,” Cyrus said, “and maybe we can move ourselves around this mountain and join up with the expedition as they head south.” He shook his head. “I daresay they’ve shown the envoys enough evidence to bring armies back to help combat this threat.”

“What is it with you and the word ‘daresay’?” Aisling asked. “You say it all the time. ‘I daresay’ this and ‘I daresay’ that. What does it even mean?”

“It’s just a way of saying, ‘I think.’”

“Then why don’t you just say ‘I think’?” She looked back at him, a little smile showing.

“Because I’m being pretentious,” Cyrus said. “And you should allow me a little pretention in my life.” He felt a dark humor settle over him. “After all, I’ve been betrayed by a good friend recently, as well as by two women I cared for.”

“I’ll allow you just about anything you want,” Aisling said. “It matters not to me, I was just curious what it meant.” She waited a moment further before she spoke again. “And it was ‘loved,’ not ‘cared for,’ if you want to be accurate about it, Mr. Pretentious.” She leaned her head forward, bowing it slightly. “You loved them, both of them, whether you want to admit it or not.”

Cyrus swallowed, hard, felt the pain rise in his throat, the bile that told him she was right. “Yes,” he whispered. “I did. But at least they didn’t try to kill me, as my friend just did.”

“Rough year,” she said. “Perhaps it’s the company you keep.”

“I was beginning to think maybe it was me.”

The skies began to darken after midday. Clouds rolled in and a light snow began to fall scant hours later. The woods became thicker, and the snow blew with the wind, causing Cyrus to remove his helm in order to see. They kept going, but had long since lost sight of the horde behind them. The last hilltop that Cyrus had sighted them from was now hours behind them, and visibility was so poor that even when they reached a high vantage point they could see only a little ways.

“I don’t see them,” Aisling said, staring behind them. “When we find water, we should stop briefly before we continue.”

“Agreed,” Cyrus said.

They continued until past nightfall, and came out of the woods in a dark encroachment of rocks, leading a steep, impassable embankment. Windrider let loose a quiet whinny upon approaching it, scaring Cyrus for the implications.

“It would appear that our journey west is at an end,” Aisling said. “And if we go south, I suspect that this ravine is the same one that kept us from making for the pass south earlier. Any suggestions?”

“North or east,” Cyrus said. “We know for fact that they’re east, so the only alternative is north.”

“The problem with that idea,” she groused, “is that we suspect that they’re north as well.”

“Go with what’s suspected or what’s known?” Cyrus asked. “I know which I pick.”

“Not fair. Not sound, either. It’s a choice between certain death and uncertain death, and I want to pick ‘neither.’”

His smile disappeared. “Then you probably should have retreated with the others and left me behind.”

The snow came down harder now, blowing in their faces as they headed north, across the hills. They crested another rise and Cyrus looked east, and in the distance, he wondered if the village that they had seen from the pass that morning was nearby, if it was somewhere out there, teeming with the scourge. “Do they eat people?” he wondered aloud.

“Morbid thought,” Aisling said. “But I can’t say I haven’t had it myself. It seemed as though J’anda had something on them, had figured something out that he wanted to tell us, but the whole lot of them stopped it.” She held her breath for a moment. “Can’t pretend I’m not curious about what that was about.”

“Nor I,” Cyrus said. “This snow is getting worse.”

“It’s not even sticking to the ground,” Aisling complained, “but it’s turning everything to mud.” Windrider made a noise that sounded to Cyrus’s ears like assent. “This is going to slow us.”

“I know Windrider can handle a long ride,” Cyrus said, “but it’s been months of walking, hell, almost a whole month now with only a day or two here or there for a break. This hard escape can’t have been easy on him.” The horse was stoic but turned his head to favor them with one eye.

“What are you suggesting?” Aisling said, the coolness in her voice just covering the dread beneath.

“I’m suggesting that if we keep heading north in this, we’re likely to blunder into the enemy. I’m suggesting that we find somewhere that looks safe to hole up for the night, and we take it.” He blinked the snow flurries out of his eyes. “We try and sleep in shifts, so as not to be surprised if these things track us like bloodhounds do.”

“I don’t love the sound of that,” Aisling said. “Resting while we’re being hunted seems like a bad idea.”

“And getting lost and falling in a ravine or having Windrider die from exhaustion seems like a better one?” Cyrus looked around. “We don’t even have any oats for him to eat, since the wizards are all gone and we’re isolated on our own.”

“Perhaps some field grass?” Aisling suggested. “He could try and find it under the layers of mud.”

“We need a rest,” Cyrus said. “Not so much for us as for him.” He let out a breath. “Maybe a little for us.”

“I can’t imagine the conditions under which I’d feel I could rest right now,” Aisling said, and Cyrus felt the tension in her, pressed as he was against her back. “But I’d imagine that some reprieve is better than none. And,” she grudgingly admitted, “you’re right about seeing ahead. We’re more likely to stumble over the edge of a cliff in this mess than to be able to see clear forward on a decent path.”

“Right,” Cyrus said. “There’s likely a place where that ravine shallows, and we might be able to cross it to get to the flatter ground on the other side, but we’ll miss it if we keep going in this.” He looked back behind them. “Also, we’re leaving tracks right now. It might be best to find a place to lie low, so we can give them a chance to cover over.” He shrugged. “Not that these things are trackers, but you can never be too careful when you’re surrounded by the enemy.”

They kept on for a while longer, as the terrain got rockier. They came upon another sheer cliff face, having wandered to a point where the ground rose to the east forcing them along a path parallel to the ravine. They went along, now boxed in by a cliff face on one side and a ravine on the other, forced along a steadily inclining grade, the ground carrying them upward almost against their will.

“I don’t like this,” Aisling said, so low that Cyrus almost missed it.

“What’s that?”

“Being trapped,” she said, pointing to the face of the rock to their right. “It’s too sheer. If they come at us from behind we have to run ahead blindly, we can’t even swerve right or left.”

“Story of my life,” Cyrus said, and when she shot him a confused look, he went on, “Running blindly.”

“Ah,” she said with a nod, “I thought you meant not being able to swerve left or right.”

He thought about it for a moment. “That too, actually.”

The skies were a deep grey, laced with swirls of clouds that stretched to either end of the horizon, punctuated by light streaming through the gaps between formations. The gaps between the clouds started to darken as the sun set. The cold air blew through Cyrus’s armor and he felt it all the way through, even over the sense of weary tension that had him in its grasp.

Aisling’s breathing was something he could feel even through his armor, and the tension was noticeable from her as well. Her shoulders were upright, and when Windrider would occasionally take a jarring step, Cyrus felt her go taut in his grasp. He tried not to wrap his arms around her waist, but every now and again he was left with no choice as he leaned, sitting as he was off the saddle. Her hair blew in his face constantly, the white mane possessed of a smell that reminded him of herbs, for some reason, as though she had some sort of greenery in it even now.

The howling of the wind was the only thing that surrounded them, blowing past, dampening all other sound. The canyon channeled it toward them, and Cyrus felt the razor claws of it, so shocking for a summer’s day, and he reached to the saddlebags for his cloak, tucking it around himself and Aisling as best he could. He heard her murmur her thanks as he drew closer to her, the night air gradually growing colder and colder.

“Up there,” Aisling murmured, and her finger came up to point. “There’s something against the cliff face.”

They drew closer and Cyrus saw it too. It was wooden, carved, and set up on small pillars, though broken and crumbling. “An old mine?” Cyrus asked.

“Looks like,” she answered as they came upon it. It was square, two posts on either side and a lintel over the top, a beam to keep the roof from collapsing. It jutted only a little out of the rock, just enough to be noticeable if someone was traveling along the ravine.

Cyrus carefully dismounted and ducked into the entrance. The cave was dark, and his eyes couldn’t adjust to the low light.

“You blind fool,” Aisling said, appearing at his side. “Here.” She pulled something out of a pack on her belt, and grabbed an old discarded stick out of the ground at their side. She ripped the sleeve under her armor, pulling a layer of cloth out and wrapping the old branch with it. When she was done she opened the small container she had pulled from her pack, then ran it along the blade of her knife. Sparks came, and the cloth caught, the stick becoming a torch, burning brightly and lighting the cave.

It turned ahead of them, twisting off to their right. Cyrus heard Windrider snort behind him, then felt the horse put his face on the back of Cyrus’s head and push him forward. “You know,” Cyrus said, looking back at him, “every day I’m with you, you become less a horse and more of a comic sidekick, I hope you realize.” Windrider whickered and shuffled off beside Aisling, who idly stroked his face as they stared into the darkness ahead of them, contemplating it.

“If we don’t look around and make sure the cave is secure,” he said, staring into the distance, “we’re probably not going to have a lot of luck sleeping tonight.”

“Agreed,” she said. “You first.”

He sighed, and drew his sword. “A comic sidekick for a horse and a skittish ranger as a traveling companion, miles from a friendly face, surrounded by savage creatures that want to eat us alive.” He frowned. “Why does this always happen to me?”

“You wanted to be an adventurer,” Aisling said, with a little snap, “now you are. And oh, what an adventure we’re having today, eh?”

Cyrus prowled forward, sword in hand, Aisling and Windrider behind him. Three branches of the main chamber turned into dead ends, and a fourth led to a narrow passage. When Cyrus thrust the torch into it to shed some light, it stretched through a narrow gap in the rock that was only just large enough for him to squeeze into.

“I think we’re okay,” he said, “though I suspect we’ll be in some manner of trouble if the light from our fire or the smoke is seen outside.” They walked back to the entrance, and as they approached the mouth of the cave, Cyrus realized that was no concern. Outside, the snow fluttered down in heavy waves, and had begun to stick to the ground and the rock face opposite them.

“Midsummer snow storm?” Aisling asked. “Perhaps the gods are with us after all.”

“The Luukessians say the gods do not know these lands,” Cyrus said. “And I doubt the God of Storms is much of a fan of our work anyway.”

“Speak for yourself,” Aisling said, doing a little pirouette that caught Cyrus’s attention. “Everyone’s a fan of my work.”

“Oh?” Cyrus asked dryly. “Do you do a great deal of public exhibition of that sort of thing?”

She shrugged airily. “Only when I have a partner I really want to work with. Otherwise I tend to perform in private-and on privates-”

“Okay,” Cyrus said, brushing past her, “you’ve found the edge of my comfort zone again.” He took the torch and gathered a few more pieces of wood, setting them in a small pile further into the cave, just out of sight of the entrance. “Let’s make a fire, then maybe we can take turns getting some rest.” He looked to the mouth of the cave. “Seems like this will be far enough back to avoid any suspicion or anyone seeing the light of our fire.”

“You know,” she hunched next to him as he worked to start the fire, “most men might find themselves grateful if they’d had their life saved by a beautiful, mischievous, young woman-flexible in all the right ways, if you catch my drift-and might find some way to repay her for such a kindness, perhaps in a way she had long been asking for.”

Cyrus stopped what he was doing, and a piece of wood slipped out of his hand and almost put out the kindling he had been trying to start. “Now? We’re surrounded by enemies, in the middle of their territory,” he waved at the walls around him as though they were under open sky, “and now you come back to propositioning me?” He sighed.

“Is it really such a bad thing?” She was hushed, deflated, all the air out of her.

“No, it’s not. And if you had done so almost anytime in the last thirty days-at the right moment, at least-I would have given in to you without question.” She brightened as he said it. “But.” He watched her pause, uncertain again. “I would have been using you,” he said. “You were right; I was in love with Vara. Completely, utterly, soul-consumingly, if that’s even a word. I wanted her more than anything, and when she cast me out of her graces, I moved to Cattrine.” He felt a grimace. “When she hurt me, it was only after she had … accustomed me again to something I hadn’t realized I had been missing. It’s left me … somewhat confused, full of sensation and emotion and urges that I honestly thought I had well and truly suppressed.” He looked back toward the little fire, placed a few small sticks onto it and watched it begin to catch.

“But it’s not suppressed anymore, is it?” She eased next to him, took a small piece of tinder and put it on the burgeoning flame. “You’re loosed, and you feel it now, the blood in your veins, and …” Her hand reached down, under his armor, through the gap in the chainmail, and he felt her warm touch on his side, on his skin, and somehow it lit a fire of its own in him. “You’re not cold to me like you were before.”

“I’m not,” he admitted. “I was in love. I had no room in my mind, my heart, for anyone but her. But then I started to feel something for another woman, and it changed things. She changed things,” he corrected. “But she’s gone now, and I’m empty, Aisling, empty all the way to the bottom of me. Whatever is left is only desire, there’s no emotion behind it.” He looked into her eyes, warning her with everything he had. Turn back, understand how burned up I am inside, how cut up and bled out, there’s no feeling left, nothing for you …

“I want it,” she said quickly, urgently, and she kissed him on the lips, a kiss he did not return. “I don’t care how empty it is, I want it. I’ve wanted it all along.” She kissed him again.

“I feel nothing,” he said, stopping her. “There’s nothing in me, now. Whatever I had, the two of them took. It’s not fair-not to you, anyway-”

“I’ll decide what’s fair for me,” she said, kissing him again, pushing herself into his arms. “I’ll decide what’s good for me, what I want.”

“This …” Cyrus kissed her, felt her kiss back, let her hands run over him, taking his armor off, “… this is all you get, you realize? No emotion, no heart, just … the physical. It’s all I have left.”

His armor dropped off, piece by piece, and her dark blue hands ran across his pale, hairy chest. She tugged him closer, letting her leather armor slip off over her head, exposing herself to him and pushing close. He could see the contrast now, the dark navy skin against his winter white; the night and day, the difference between her and the other women. “I want it,” she said again, and she helped him out of his pants. “I want it. To hell with the rest.”

The fire had taken on a life of its own and burned, quietly, a slow roar next to them while the snow and wind howled outside the cave, and the warmth within took on a life of its own.