Confessor: Chainfire Trilogy Part 3

Chapter 25

Kahlan tenderly closed both of her hands around Nicci’s trembling, loose fist. She hoped that through that connection, that simple act, the woman covered in blood, lying in Jagang’s bed, could at least take a small measure of solace. As much as Kahlan ached with empathy, she could offer little help.

It had been a frightening, dreadful night. Jagang often brought women captives to his bed. He frequently hurt them, either simply by not taking into account his own strength, or because he intended them harm when they failed to cooperate.

This was different. With Nicci, he was venting hot jealousy.

He had never hurt any of those other women the way he hurt Nicci. In his own mind, Kahlan knew, he was getting even, settling a score, making Nicci pay the price of being unfaithful to him.

But, in some ways, Jagang was also showing Kahlan what kind of treatment she could look forward to once her memory was finally restored. Kahlan tried to shut the things she’d seen and heard from her mind lest she be sick. She focused instead on the present, and the future.

She let go with one hand and turned to retrieve a waterskin lying on the floor nearby. Nicci lightly caught the remaining hand, apparently fearful of losing the human compassion in that connection.

“Here,” Kahlan said in little more than a whisper as she lifted the waterskin to Nicci’s lips. Splatters of dried blood masked her face and hair.

Other than loosely holding on to Kahlan’s hand, Nicci didn’t respond.

“Drink,” Kahlan urged. “It’s water.”

Nicci didn’t make any effort to drink, so Kahlan let a little of the water trickle across the woman’s cracked lips and into her mouth. She swallowed, then turned her head away from the waterskin with a cry of pain.

“Shh,” Kahlan urged. “I know it hurts, but try to stay quiet. You need to try to take a drink. You need water. When you’re hurt your body needs water so you can get better.”

As much as he had choked her while he railed in fury, it was a miracle that Jagang hadn’t crushed Nicci’s windpipe. His powerful hands had left behind lurid bruises, though, and not just on her neck.

Nicci’s blue eyes slowly opened, focusing on Kahlan’s face. Kahlan was down low, sitting on the floor beside the bed. She was leaning in close to Nicci, trying to keep her voice low so that it wouldn’t carry to those outside the bedchamber. She didn’t want anyone to hear her talking to Nicci. Nicci hadn’t wanted Jagang to know that she could see Kahlan. Kahlan thought it wise to never let an enemy know anything more than was absolutely necessary. Apparently, Nicci thought much the same thing.

As awkward as it was leaning over the edge of the bed, Kahlan didn’t dare get up off the carpet. She knew the consequences of getting up when Jagang had told her to stay on the floor.

A jagged gash at Nicci’s scalp line on the right side of her forehead was still bleeding. A glancing blow from Jagang’s ringed fist had ripped up a flap of scalp. Kahlan snatched up a small cloth, folded it, and gently pressed it against the wound on Nicci’s forehead, fitting the loose chunk of flesh in place as she applied pressure to stop the bleeding. In mere moments the cloth soaked through with blood. As much as she ached to help, there was little more she could think to do other than try to stop some of the bleeding and offer a drink of water.

The wound from the gold ring pierced through Nicci’s lower lip still oozed, leaving a trail of blood down her jaw and the side of her neck, but it wasn’t serious, like the wound on her forehead, so Kahlan didn’t try to do anything for it.

She carefully pulled a lock of blond hair back off Nicci’s face. “I’m so sorry for what he did to you.”

Nicci nodded slightly, her jaw trembling slightly as she held back tears.

“I wanted so much to stop him,” Kahlan said.

With the back of a finger Nicci caught the tear running down Kahlan’s cheek.

“There was nothing you could do,” the woman managed. “Nothing.”

Her voice was weak but, despite that, it still carried the same silken grace as before. It was a voice that matched the rest of her perfectly. Kahlan would never have guessed that such a lovely voice could also carry such righteous contempt as she’d shown Jagang.

“Nothing any of us can do,” Nicci whispered as her eyelids slid closed. “Except maybe Richard.”

Kahlan studied the woman’s blue eyes a moment. “You really think that Richard Rahl can do something?’

Nicci smiled to herself. “Sorry. I didn’t realize that I’d said the last part aloud. Where’s Jagang?”

Kahlan checked and saw that the wound under the cloth she had pressed to Nicci’s head had at last stopped the bleeding.

“You didn’t hear him when he left?” she asked as she set the blood-soaked cloth aside.

Nicci rocked her head side to side to say that she hadn’t. Kahlan lifted the waterskin in question. Nicci nodded. She winced as she swallowed, but she drank.

“Well,” Kahlan said when Nicci finished drinking, “someone called out for him. He went to the doorway and a man spoke to him in a low voice. I couldn’t hear all of it, but it sounded like he said that they’d found something. Jagang came back and put on his clothes. As fast as he got dressed, he was obviously in a hurry to have a look at the discovery. He told me to stay where I was.

“Then he put one knee on the bed, leaned over you, and whispered to you that he was sorry.”

Nicci huffed a laugh, but it was cut short when she winced in pain. “He isn’t capable of feeling sorry for anyone but himself.”

“You’ll get no argument from me,” Kahlan said. “Anyway, he promised to bring back a Sister to heal you. He ran a hand down your face and again said that he was sorry. Then he paused, looking down at you with a worried look. He leaned a little closer to you and said, ‘Please don’t die, Nicci.’ After that he rushed away, telling me again to stay on the floor.

“I don’t know how long he will be gone, but I suspect that a Sister, at least, will be in at any moment.”

Nicci nodded, not seeming to really care if she was healed or not. Kahlan could understand, in a way, how Nicci would rather slip into the dark forever of death than face what would be her life from now on.

“I’m terribly sorry that you’ve been caught up by him, but you don’t know how good it is to have another person be able to see me—someone who isn’t with them.”

“I can only imagine,” Nicci said.

“Jillian said that she’s seen you before. With Richard Rahl. She told me a little about you. You’re as beautiful as she said you were.”

“My mother used to tell me that being beautiful was only useful to whores. Perhaps she was right.”

“Perhaps she was jealous of you. Or just a fool.”

Nicci smiled so broadly that it looked like she might laugh. “It was the latter. She hated life.”

Kahlan’s gaze drifted away from Nicci as she picked at a loose thread on the bedcover.

“So you know Richard Rahl pretty well, then?”

“Pretty well,” Nicci said.

“Are you in love with him?”

Nicci looked over, gazing into Kahlan’s eyes for a long moment. “It’s more complicated than that. I have responsibilities.”

Kahlan smiled a little. “I see.” She was glad that Nicci hadn’t tried to lie by denying it.

“You have a beautiful voice, Kahlan Amnell,” Nicci whispered as she stared at Kahlan. “You really do.”

“Thank you, but it doesn’t seem beautiful to me. Sometimes I think I sound like a frog.”

Nicci smiled. “Hardly.”

Kahlan frowned. “You know me, then?”

“Not really.”

“But you know my name. Do you know anything about me? About my past? Who I really am?”

Nicci’s blue eyes watched her in a most curious fashion. “Just what I’ve heard.”

“And what have you heard?”

“That you are the Mother Confessor.”

Kahlan hooked some hair behind her ear. “I heard that myself.”

She checked the doorway again and, seeing the hanging still in place and hearing no voices close, turned back to Nicci. “I’m afraid that I don’t know what it means. I don’t know very much at all about myself. As I’m sure you can probably imagine, it’s pretty frustrating. Sometimes, I get so dispirited by not being able to remember anything . . .”

Kahlan’s voice trailed off as Nicci’s eyes closed against a pang of agony. She was having trouble breathing.

Kahlan laid a hand on the woman’s shoulder. “Hold on, Nicci. Please hold on. A Sister will be in to heal you any moment. I’ve been hurt by them before—hurt terribly—and they healed me, so I know they can do it. You’ll be all right after they get in here.”

Nicci nodded slightly, but she didn’t open her eyes. Kahlan wished that one of the Sisters would hurry. In the absence of anything she could do, Kahlan gave Nicci another drink, then wet the piece of cloth again and gently mopped her brow.

Kahlan was torn between staying where she’d been told to stay and rushing to the opening out of the bedchamber to demand that someone go get a Sister. She knew, though, that the collar she wore around her neck would drop her before she would be able to take two steps. It was somewhat surprising that there wasn’t a Sister already outside. There was usually at least one of them at hand.

“I’ve never seen anyone stand up to Jagang the way you did,” Kahlan said.

“It wouldn’t really have mattered if I did or not.” Nicci paused to get her breath. “He was going to do what he wanted to do. But I wasn’t about to agree to it.”

Kahlan smiled at Nicci’s spirit of defiance.

“Jagang was already angry at you long before you arrived. Sister Ulicia told him how you’re in love with Richard. She was going on and on about it.”

Nicci’s eyes were open, but she said nothing as she stared up at the ceiling.

“That’s why Jagang was questioning you—because of what Sister Ulicia told him. He was jealous.”

“He has no reason to be jealous. He should be more concerned that someday I’m going to kill him.”

Kahlan smiled at that. Then, she wondered if Nicci meant that Jagang had no reason to be jealous because there was nothing between her and Richard, or because there was but the emperor had no right to have a claim on her heart.

“Do you think you will ever get a chance to kill him?”

In frustration, Nicci lifted a hand just a little bit, then let it drop back down to her side. “Probably not. I think I’m the one who is going to be killed.”

“Maybe we can think of something before that happens,” Kahlan said. “How did he manage to capture you, anyway?”

“I was in the palace.”

“They found a way in?”

“Yes. Through forgotten catacombs that run underneath the Azrith Plain and under the plateau. The underground chambers and tunnels appear to have been abandoned millennia ago.

“I think it was a reconnaissance expedition that caught me. They haven’t begun to invade the palace, yet, but as soon as they have what they need in place I’m sure they will.”

Kahlan realized that that was what had been discovered buried in the pit. With a way in, it was only a matter of time until they stormed the palace and slaughtered everyone up there. She knew that when that happened all hope would be lost. Jagang would have defeated the last holdout against the Imperial Order. He would rule the world.

At least, he would if he could get his hands on the third box of Orden. Kahlan didn’t doubt his word, though, that he would soon accomplish that as well. It seemed that time was not just running out for Richard Rahl, but for any hope of freedom surviving.

Nicci, her chin trembling, looked over at Kahlan. “Please, cover me?”

“Sorry,” Kahlan said. “I should have thought of that.”

Actually, she had, but she had thought that maybe it might be worse if she covered Nicci and the sheet stuck to the wounds. She could certainly understand, though, why Nicci would want to be covered.

Kahlan stretched, caught the edge of the gold bedcover and pulled it up. Ever mindful of the collar, she had to be careful not to let herself get up from the floor.

“Thanks,” Nicci said as she at last was able to pull the silk cover the rest of the way over herself.

“Don’t be ashamed,” Kahlan said.

Nicci frowned a little. “What do you mean?”

“You should never be ashamed to be a victim. It wasn’t through any fault of yours. The only thing you should feel is anger at such a violation. You didn’t do anything to encourage it. It was rape, just as you said it was.”

Nicci smiled a little as she touched Kahlan’s cheek. “Thanks.”

Kahlan took a deep breath. “Jagang has promised to do much the same to me as he did to you.”

Nicci’s hand tightened on Kahlan’s, offering in turn some solace.

Kahlan hesitated, but then went on. “The only reason he hasn’t yet is because he wants it to be worse than it would be if he did it now. He told me that he wants to wait until I know who I am. He says that when I remember my past and who I am it will be all the worse for me. He says that he wants ‘him’ to see it. Jagang says that he wants to destroy us both in mat way, to destroy everything.”

Nicci closed her eyes, covering them with a hand as if unable to bear the thought of it.

“It seems pretty obvious that he has to be talking about someone from my past. Do you know who this ‘he’ is?”

Nicci’s answer was a long moment in coming. “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you, or your past. All I know is the things I’ve heard, like your name and that you are the Mother Confessor.”

Kahlan nodded. She didn’t think she was getting the whole truth. She felt pretty confident that Nicci knew more than she was admitting. Kahlan thought it best, though, not to press her on the subject. At that moment, forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to do seemed too cruel to contemplate. Maybe she had her own reasons for not wanting to say more. Maybe those reasons were strictly personal and none of Kahlan’s business.

Kahlan smiled, determined to steer away from the gloom of such a dark subject. “I liked all the things you said about Richard Rahl. This Richard sounds like my kind of man.”

Nicci smiled the slightest bit. “You are both good people.”

Kahlan rubbed a thumb back and forth on the edge of the bedcover. “What’s he like? I keep hearing things about him. Every time I turn around, in fact, it seems as if the phantom of Richard Rahl is somehow haunting my life.” Kahlan looked up. “What’s he really like?”

“I don’t know. He’s just . . . Richard. He’s a man who cares deeply for those he loves.”

“From what you told Jagang you seem to know how he feels about a great many things. You seem to be there at his side a lot. It sounds like he cares a great deal for you.”

Nicci dismissed the suggestion with a flick of a hand. She looked over at Kahlan.

“There are regular soldiers outside Jagang’s tent. Do you know why?”

The abrupt change of topic told Kahlan that she was probing into things Nicci didn’t want to talk about. Kahlan wondered why not.

She turned her attention to Nicci’s question. “The soldiers are there because they can see me. Very few people can. Sister Ulicia told Jagang that she thinks it’s just an anomaly. After I killed two of his guards and Sister Cecilia.”

Her expression intense, Nicci lifted her head a little. “You killed Sister Cecilia?”

“Yes.”

“How did you manage to kill a Sister of the Dark?”

“It was back in Caska, the place where you and Richard saw Jillian.”

“Who told you that?”

“Jillian.”

Nicci’s head sank back down. “Oh.”

“Jillian said she helped Richard find the Chainfire book he was hunting for down in the catacombs of Caska. That’s also where Jagang finally captured Sisters Ulicia, Armina, and Cecilia. They thought they were going to meet up with Sister Tovi when they got there. As it turned out, Tovi was already dead and it was Jagang who was there waiting for them. They were pretty surprised.”

“I bet they were,” Nicci said.

“Like just about everyone else, Jagang’s guards couldn’t see me, so while the dream walker was busy with the Sisters, arguing over a book, I pulled the guards’ knives out of their sheaths. Since they couldn’t see me, they had no idea the danger they were in. As they stood silently watching over their emperor I used their own weapons to run them through.

“Before they even hit the floor I pushed Jillian out ahead of me into the maze of tunnels. As everyone came rushing out the doorway behind us I threw a knife. I’d been hoping to get Jagang with the knife but it was Sister Cecilia who came through the doorway first. They caught me after that, but it had been enough to help Jillian escape.”

Kahlan let out a heavy sigh. “In the end it didn’t do any good. Jagang returned to the encampment with the other two Sisters and me, but he sent men to search for Jillian. They finally found her and brought her back.

“She is Jagang’s way of making me comply with his wishes. He promised me that if I make him angry by not doing as I’m told he will do terrible things to her.”

“He is a ruthless man.”

Kahlan nodded. “After what I did, though, Jagang realized that he needed some guards who could see me, so he searched the camp looking for men who could. He found a number of them. There are thirty-eight left.”

Nicci glanced over at Kahlan. “You mean there were more at first?”

“Yes.”

“Then what happened to the rest?”

Kahlan stared resolutely into Nicci’s eyes. “Whenever I get the chance I kill them.”

Nicci smiled broadly. “Good girl.”

Kahlan smiled with her, but then the smile faded. “Now, if I kill any more, it will mean torture for Jillian.”

Nicci’s expression reflected her concern for Jillian. “Don’t ever doubt him. He will do it without hesitation.”

“I know. Do you have any idea why there are a few people who can see me when almost no one can? Do you know if it’s really an anomaly, as Sister Ulicia says?”

“The Sisters used a Chainfire spell on you. It made everyone forget you. Richard discovered that there is a defect in the spell and it—”

“See what I mean? Richard again, tied up in my life.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not.” When Nicci said nothing, she urged her to go on. “So, how did he ever discover the defect?”

“It’s a long story. Basically, we were trying to find a way to undo the Chainfire spell.”

“You were trying to help me? But you said you don’t remember me. Why would you be doing such a thing if no one remembers me?”

When Nicci had to lie back, laboring to breathe, Kahlan said, “Sorry. I know I ask a lot of questions, it’s just that . . .”

“We’re trying to stop the damage being done to everyone,” Nicci finally managed after enduring a shiver of pain. “The whole problem is broader than people only forgetting you. The Chainfire spell has tangled us all up in it. If it runs free it could even end life itself.”

Kahlan silently reprimanded herself for even fantasizing that Richard Rahl had actually been trying to save her, that maybe he knew her and she meant something to him.

“I was running a verification web,” Nicci said. “Richard saw indications in the spell—unique designs—that told him that it was contaminated. It explained a lot. We need to undo the Chainfire spell because, while it does make everyone forget you, it causes larger problems.”

“What kind of larger problems?”

Nicci paused to draw a few rattling breaths, wincing in pain, before going on. “Since it’s contaminated, the damaging effects of the spell expanded in unexpected ways. We fear that, unchecked, it will destroy the minds of those it has infected. I think that the contamination may be responsible for the spell not working as intended. As a result, there are a few isolated instances of people who apparently aren’t affected.”

“Why am I at the center of all of this?”

In the silence Kahlan could hear an oil lamp hissing softly. The sounds of the camp outside the tent seemed like they were in another world altogether.

“The Sisters used the spell on you so they could send you into the palace, unseen, to steal the boxes of Orden for them. The key to the boxes is a book called The Book of Counted Shadows. They need a Confessor to confirm if the book they are using is the true key to the boxes.”

“I’ve seen the book,” Kahlan said. She knew that Nicci was telling the truth about that much of it, because Jagang had already demanded that Kahlan confirm if the book was a true copy or a fake. She had proclaimed it a false copy.

She knew that there also had to be more to it, but for some reason Nicci was carefully dancing around secrets.

Kahlan pulled at a string on the bedcover. “I wish I could talk to Richard Rahl. I wonder if he might have answers for me.”

“I wish you could meet him. But that now seems unlikely to ever happen.”

Kahlan wanted to ask if it had actually been likely until recent events. She thought that maybe Nicci had just revealed more than she thought she had, or had intended.

“I hate to say it, but I think that you and I are not ever going to be able to see the outcome of this struggle, but do you really think that Richard Rahl is going to be able to stop this madness? For other people, I mean.”

“I don’t know, Kahlan. But I can tell you that he’s the only one who can.”

Kahlan took up Nicci’s hand again. “Well, if he can, I hope he can rescue you. You should be with him. You love him.”

Nicci squeezed her eyes closed. She turned her face away as a tear leaked out, tracing a slow path through the splotches of dried blood.

“I’m sorry,” Kahlan said. “I shouldn’t have said anything. You must miss him beyond endurance.”

“No,” Nicci managed as she rocked her head, “it isn’t that. It’s just that what Jagang did hurts, that’s all. I’m having trouble breathing. I think my ribs are broken.”

“They are,” Kahlan said. “Some of the ones on this side, anyway. I heard them crack when he punched you there. If I’d had a knife I’d have castrated the bastard.”

Nicci smiled. “I believe you could do it, Kahlan Amnell. It’s too late for me, but if you get the chance, do it before he starts in on you.”

“Nicci, don’t give up hope.”

“There’s not much cause for hope.”

“Yes, there is. As long as there’s life, there’s the potential that we can change things for the better. After all, didn’t you or Richard put the boxes of Orden in play?”

“I did,” Nicci said. “In Richard’s name.”

“What are these boxes, anyway? Why is there a magic power that is just meant to be able to, to, I don’t know, vanquish all opposition and rule the world?”

“That’s not their intended purpose. They were created as a counter to the Chainfire spell.”

Kahlan realized, then, that Richard Rahl must have been trying to help her. Even if he was now trying to save others from the effects of the spell, he hadn’t discovered the defect that was causing that damage to other people until after he was already trying to figure out how he could restore Kahlan’s memory.

Having difficulty breathing, Nicci fell to a fit of coughing that was obviously agonizingly painful. She started gasping for air. Kahlan could hear the rattle of fluid in her lungs. Nicci was beginning to panic with the unsuccessful effort to breathe. She gripped the bedcover in her fists and her back arched as she tried desperately to pull a breath.

Kahlan quickly pulled the bedcover down a ways and placed a hand directly on Nicci’s upper abdomen. “Nicci, listen to me. Breathe to my hand. Slowly.”

Nicci’s confused eyes sought Kahlan’s but she couldn’t speak through her gasping attempts to get a breath. Tears began to flow.

Kahlan gently rubbed her hand around in a small circle, speaking as calmly as she could. “Slow down, Nicci. Focus your mind on my hand. Feel where it is. Pull your breath slowly and evenly toward it. You’re going to be fine. You’re trying to breathe too fast, that’s all.

“You’re not alone. Everything is all right. I promise. Take slow breaths and you’ll be able to breathe just fine. Let them reach down toward where you feel my hand.”

Kahlan could feel Nicci’s heart galloping under her hand. She continued to rub slowly and talk in a reassuring voice.

“Everything is fine. You can get plenty of air if you just let yourself slow down and take it in.”

Nicci watched Kahlan as if hanging on her every word.

“You’re doing good. You’re all right. I won’t let you die. Just think about my hand. Let your breath reach down to my hand. Slower. Slower. That’s it, easy . . . easy. That’s it. You’re doing good. Just think about my hand and keep breathing slowly.”

Nicci’s breathing slowed. She seemed like she was at last getting the air she so desperately needed. Kahlan continued to gently rub Nicci’s abdomen just below her ribs and to urge her to slow down. The whole time Nicci tightly held Kahlan’s other hand. After a short time the crisis passed and Nicci was more comfortably getting her breath. She needed more help, though, than Kahlan could offer her. She wished that a Sister would arrive.

“Look, Nicci, we may not get a chance to talk again, but don’t give up. There’s a man here who I think is going to do something.”

Nicci swallowed as she regained her equilibrium. “What are you talking about? What sort of man?”

“He’s a Ja’La player. He’s the point man on a team belonging to Commander Karg.”

“Karg,” she said with disgust. “I know him. The things he does to women are more vile in their invention than Jagang. Karg is a twisted bastard. Stay away from him.”

Kahlan arched an eyebrow. “You’re saying that at the next gala ball if he asks me to dance I should decline the offer?”

Nicci smiled a little. “That would be best.”

“Anyway, there’s something about this point man for Commander Karg’s team. He knows me. I can see it in his eyes. You should see him play Ja’La.”

“I hate Ja’La.”

“That’s not what I mean. This man is different. He’s . . . dangerous.”

Nicci frowned over at Kahlan. “Dangerous? In what way?”

“I think he’s up to something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t want anyone in the camp to recognize him.”

“How in the world would you know that?”

“It’s a long story, but he found a way around anyone recognizing him. He painted his face in wild designs—with red paint—along with the faces of all the men on his team.” Kahlan leaned closer. “Maybe he’s an assassin or something. It could be that he’s intending to kill Jagang.”

Nicci closed her eyes again, losing interest. “I wouldn’t get my hopes up about such a thing if I were you.”

“You would if you saw this man’s eyes.”

Kahlan wanted to ask Nicci a thousand questions, but she heard voices beyond the doorway coming closer. Then she heard a woman outside dismiss a slave.

“I think the Sister is coming.” Kahlan squeezed Nicci’s hand. “Be strong.”

“I don’t think—”

“Be strong for Richard.”

Nicci stared, unable to speak.

Kahlan hurriedly scooted away from the bed. The covering over the doorway opened and Sister Armina stepped through, pulling Jillian in behind her.