Chosen

Chapter 4

I drifted, and I dreamed.

Old memories flitted through my mind, familiar faces and ones half forgotten: Rachel, Shireen, Arachne, Helikaon, Richard. From time to time I heard voices that weren’t my own, distant murmurs fading in and out of hearing, but I couldn’t make out the words. Eventually the voices went away and I fell into a deeper dream, one that was less a dream than a memory. I knew that it wasn’t real, that I was seeing the past and not the present, but somehow it didn’t seem to matter and I watched quietly without trying to wake. The colours were vibrant, the sounds crisp and clear, as if I were experiencing it for the first time.

The scene was a desert, islands of red rock rising into bumpy hills. The hills were barren but greenery covered the lower levels, bushes and stubby trees growing in defiance of the heat. The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the empty land, and the sky above was a fantastic glow of red and yellow and blue. A vehicle bounced across the rocky ground in a plume of dust, the only sign of human life for miles. As it drew near one of the hills it slowed and stopped. Four people got out.

They were young, no more than nineteen or twenty, and wore the clothes of city dwellers. The first out was a girl, small and slight, with short dark-red hair and impatient movements. She looked from side to side at the emptiness all around and turned back to the car. “Well?”

The boy she was talking to was her age, taller than her but without her quick confidence. His hair was black and untidy, messed with the dust of travel. He looked familiar, and so he should: he was me from eleven years ago. He didn’t answer the girl, looking towards the hill and frowning.

“Alex!” the girl demanded. Her name was Shireen. “Today?”

“All right! Give me a minute.”

Another girl—Rachel—had left the car, moving to stand next to Shireen. She was pretty, with deep blue eyes that gave her a thoughtful look, and she grimaced at the dust, waving a hand to try to get it away from her clothes and hair. “Is this the right place?”

Shireen shrugged. “That’s what I want to know.” She glanced at the other boy, then folded her arms with poor grace and waited.

The dust thrown up by the car settled. The desert throbbed with heat, the air burning hot from the long day, but neither Shireen nor the other boy seemed to notice. “Why would anyone live out here?” Rachel asked, looking around at the barren landscape with revulsion.

“Hiding from us,” Shireen said.

Rachel frowned. “Why does Richard want this girl, anyway?”

Shireen shrugged again. Rachel fell silent.

Minutes passed, then my younger self stirred. “They’re there.”

Everyone turned to look. “You’re sure?” Shireen said.

“Of course I’m sure,” my younger self said. He pointed at the hill of red sandstone ahead. “That hill’s got a canyon through it, with an opening at the centre. That’s where they are. They’ve got a camp in the middle.”

“Finally,” Shireen said, and walked back to the car.

My younger self frowned at her. “What are you doing? We can’t drive, they’ll hear us.”

“How many are there?” Rachel said.

“Just two. A boy and a girl.”

“Wasn’t there supposed to be a third one? A little kid?”

My younger self shrugged. “Might be. It’s hard to see from this distance.”

There was a laugh from the fourth member of the party. “Only here for one thing and you can’t even do that.”

My younger self turned, scowling, to look at the boy who’d been leaning against the car. Tobruk was tall and good-looking, with muscles that showed through his T-shirt. His origin was hard to place; he could have passed for West Indian, African, Middle Eastern, or a mix of all three. He grinned a lot, and he was grinning now. “What’s your problem?” my younger self said.

Tobruk’s grin didn’t slip. “Don’t fucking talk back to me, Alex.”

“Hey,” Shireen said, her voice sharp. “Quit it.”

“You’re not in charge,” Rachel told Tobruk. “Stop acting like it.”

Tobruk gave Rachel a lazy look. He didn’t move but there was something considering in his gaze, and Rachel shied away. Shireen shook her head in disgust. “Boys,” she muttered, then looked at my younger self. “Which way to the other entrance?”

My younger self took his eyes from Tobruk with a start and pointed. Shireen gave a nod. “We’ll go round the other side. You stay here and make sure they don’t get out this way.” She gave the two of them a pitying look. “Try not to screw it up.” She left, and Rachel followed.

Tobruk watched them go. My younger self did too, then looked at Tobruk. Tobruk showed his teeth in a grin. My younger self looked away. Rachel and Shireen disappeared into the trees. Tobruk leant back against the car and appeared to go to sleep.

Ten minutes passed. The sun dipped towards the horizon and the shadows lengthened. Tobruk opened his eyes, stretched, and began ambling towards the canyon entrance. “Where are you going?” my younger self said.

“Coming?” Tobruk said over his shoulder.

“Shireen said . . .”

“You always do as you’re told?” Tobruk said, sounding bored.

My younger self hesitated, looking after Shireen and Rachel, and then hurried after Tobruk. The entrance was visible in the sunset, the western edge casting a tall shadow against the rock. “Aren’t they expecting us to stay back there?” my younger self said.

Tobruk shook his head. “You are such a pussy.”

My younger self looked away angrily, and Tobruk gave him a pitying look. “You don’t have a clue why Richard sent us, do you?”

“He wants the girl.”

“So why doesn’t he do it himself?”

My younger self shrugged. “We’re apprentices. They get us to do their work.”

Tobruk gave a wave as if acknowledging the point. “He wants us to prove ourselves, see? Show what we can do.”

My younger self gave Tobruk a puzzled look and Tobruk laughed, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “You’re so cute. Stick with me, huh? I’ll take care of you.” His grip tightened. “Till Richard doesn’t want you.”

My younger self struggled to get out of Tobruk’s grip. Tobruk held on for a few seconds, just to prove he could, then let go. My younger self backed off, rubbing his neck and glaring at Tobruk. Tobruk didn’t look back but instead walked into the canyon, passing out of the light and into the shadow as he picked his way between the rocks. After a few seconds my younger self followed.

“So what?” my younger self said after a minute. The canyon entrance was narrowing behind them as they went deeper. “You want to be the one to bring her in?”

Tobruk shrugged. “Why do you want to be there?” my younger self asked.

“’Cause I’m fucking tired of driving you round the desert,” Tobruk said. “Those bitches are going to screw it up. They don’t have the balls to finish it and the girl’s going to go running off and I’ll have to find her again.”

“They . . .” My younger self paused. “Wait, what do you mean, ‘finish it’?”

“He just wants the girl, right?”

My younger self stared at him. Tobruk shot a grin over his shoulder. “Losing your nerve?”

My younger self stopped. Tobruk didn’t, and my younger self had to hurry to catch up. “It’s not that . . .” he began. “Look, I don’t think we—”

“Out in the desert where no one’ll see,” Tobruk said. He sounded bored again. “That’s what you said, right? This was your idea.”

“But . . .” My younger self’s face was uncertain. “We don’t have to do this.”

“So?”

“I mean, we don’t have to do it this way. We could—I don’t know. Knock him out or something.”

Tobruk turned to look at my younger self, eyebrows raised. “So?”

My younger self hesitated.

Tobruk shook his head. “Just shut up and stay out of the way.”

The two of them kept going, and the canyon began to widen. Above, the sky was darkening from blue to purple, the strands of cloud glowing yellow-red. “I think—” my younger self started to say, and as he did the crack of a gunshot came from up ahead, the sound echoing around the canyon walls. Tobruk broke into a sprint and after a moment my younger self followed. The canyon twisted left and right, then opened out.

The centre of the hill was hollow and open to the sky, creating a sheltered bowl of enclosed ground hidden from outside eyes. The trees and bushes were denser here and there was even a little grass marking some kind of water source. An old beat-up car was parked in the shade, and two tents had been pitched under the trees, one taller and sized for two, the other only big enough for a child. Birds had been roosting in the trees but now were fleeing from the sound of the shot, flying up over the edge of the rocks and disappearing from sight.

Shireen and Rachel were near the tents, blue-red light flickering in front of them. They were shoulder to shoulder and Rachel was holding a water shield in a hemisphere angled to protect them both, the blue glow weak but holding steady. Shireen’s hand was wreathed in orange-red and she was pointing it at the boy ahead of them.

The boy was maybe sixteen or seventeen; he was pointing a gun at Shireen, and he was obviously way out of his depth. He was shouting at Shireen and she was shouting back, their voices overlapping. A girl was a little way behind the boy, standing at the edge of the tents; she had long brown hair and looked afraid. Tobruk and my younger self were behind them but still some distance away and Tobruk kept running, moving with a long, loping stride that made surprisingly little noise.

“Drop it!” Shireen was shouting at the boy.

“Don’t move!” the boy shouted back. He half-turned his head, trying to watch Shireen and the girl at the same time. “Cath, run!”

“What about you?” the girl shouted.

“I said drop it!” Shireen shouted again.

“Don’t come any closer!” the boy shouted. “Cath, get out, please!”

“You too! Come on!”

Rachel saw Tobruk and my younger self coming up behind the boy and flicked her eyes quickly back, keeping the shield steady. Shireen made a frustrated sound. The spell hovering at her hand was an incineration burst but she didn’t strike. “We just want her!” Shireen said. “Put the gun—”

Tobruk hadn’t stopped or slowed. As Shireen started to say down, Tobruk sent a blast of red fire into the boy’s back.

The boy screamed, twisting, his body and arm alight. Tobruk hit him again, the jet of flame engulfing the boy’s body, and he hit the ground, flailing desperately, trying to put out the fire. The girl’s eyes went wide in horror and she ran forward. “Matt!”

Tobruk closed his fingers into a fist and the fire that was licking at the boy’s body flared up, turning an ugly dark-red. It intensified, burning hotter and fiercer, clinging to him and eating into his flesh. The boy’s shrieks became ear-piercing, horrible, an animal sound. The girl had been trying to beat out the flames but they scorched her, driving her back as the shape within the fire writhed and blackened.

The shrieks cut off abruptly. The flames crackled a moment longer, then Tobruk relaxed his hand and they guttered and died. Where the boy had been was a charred, shapeless mass, glowing with heat. The smell was hideous, thick and putrid and sweet. Smoke rose into the air.

“Matt!” the girl screamed. She fell to her knees by the smoking corpse, shaking her head, tears starting to leak from her eyes. “Matt, oh God, no. No, no, no—”

Shireen and Rachel were staring at the corpse and so was my younger self, all three of them frozen. Tobruk walked forward and grabbed the girl by the hair, dragging her away. She screamed and wept and fought, trying to get back to the body, as Tobruk shoved her to the ground. “Little help?” Tobruk called.

No one else moved. Tobruk got an arm around the girl’s neck and began choking her. She fought desperately, trying to break free.

“Tobruk?” Shireen said. She’d recovered first and stared between him and the body. “What the hell?”

“You going to give me a hand?” Tobruk said.

“You—” Shireen drew in a breath. “You fucking psycho! What the hell?”

“This really the time?” Tobruk said. The girl’s face was going red, her eyes bulging as Tobruk squeezed tighter.

“You’re killing her!” Rachel said.

The girl gave a final spasm and went limp, slumping. “Chill,” Tobruk said. He flipped her over onto her front and pulled a length of cord from his pocket, tying her hands.

“You didn’t have to kill him!” Shireen shouted. “We didn’t have to do this!”

“You all going to say that?”

“We just wanted the girl! We didn’t have to—”

Tobruk looked up at Shireen and she flinched, stepping back. “No loose ends,” Tobruk said. “Remember?”

Shireen hesitated. “That’s not what—”

“How’d you think this was going to go?” Tobruk said. He finished binding the girl and stood, getting a grip and lifting her in a fireman’s carry, then started walking back towards the canyon. “I’m done here,” he said without looking back. “You want to stick around, you can walk.”

Shireen gave a final look at the corpse, then hurried after Tobruk. She caught up to him near the mouth of the canyon and began arguing as she paced him, her voice fading into echoes as they both disappeared behind the rocks. Rachel and my younger self didn’t move, staring at the remains. My younger self turned to look at her and eventually she met his gaze. For a long moment they stared at each other, some kind of strange communication passing between them, then Rachel looked away and followed Shireen.

My younger self was left alone. He stared at the remains for a long time until a sound made him look around. The campsite was silent. He turned, stumbling, and broke into a run towards the canyon. Above, the sky was darkening and the first birds were beginning to circle, drawn to the carrion below.

I swam up to consciousness slowly. As my senses returned one at a time, I became gradually aware of my surroundings: warm air, echoes in the distance, the presence of magic. I felt the touch of soft hands on my body, running from my stomach to my chest, and heard the rustle of movement. It was all very peaceful and I lay back, enjoying the sensations. Only after a few minutes did I open my eyes.

I was lying on a raised bed in a small cave. Soft light glowed from orbs set into the walls, casting a dim glow over the room. The cave had been stacked with rolls of fabric and bolts of cloth, but they’d been pushed to the far side to leave a clear space around the bed. The air was warm and dry.

Anne was sitting next to me. Her clothes were rumpled and her grey blouse was marked with dark stains that looked like dried blood, but her posture was alert and her hand was resting on my arm. Her face was more drawn than I remembered, and her red-brown eyes were watching me. “Alex?” she said in her soft voice.

I just looked at her. Somehow, I’d never noticed before just how beautiful Anne was. After the pain and violence of the battle in the casino, and the death and ugliness of the dream, she was something gentle and beautiful, and I lay quietly, taking in the sight.

“Alex?” Anne said again. Her hand tightened on my arm, just slightly. “Can you hear me?”

“I’m—” My voice came out as a rasp, and I had to stop and swallow. “Yeah.”

Anne’s eyes filled with tears and she turned away. I looked at her, puzzled. “Why are you crying?”

Anne’s voice was muffled. “Why do you think?” She paused a second then turned back, eyes still red but set in concentration. She touched her hand to my forehead, chest, stomach, and I felt the stir of magic against my bare skin as she spoke under her breath. “Brain activity is okay, respiration is okay, blood pressure . . .” She chewed her lip. “Still low . . . Do you think you can manage drinking?”

Now that I thought about it, I was really thirsty. “Yeah.”

“Just a little,” Anne warned me as she held a straw to my lips. I sucked it down greedily and was disappointed when she pulled it away.

“Hey,” I said weakly.

“I don’t want to test the mend to your stomach,” Anne said. “I wouldn’t give you anything at all unless I had to . . . You can have some more in an hour.”

I lay quietly for a little while. I wasn’t wearing anything except my underwear and the bedclothes had been drawn back to expose my chest, but that didn’t really feel all that important right now. “We’re in Arachne’s cave, right?”

Anne nodded.

“Who else is here?”

“Luna’s sleeping through there.” Anne nodded at a solid wall. She smiled slightly, wiping away the last traces of tears. “She’s going to be angry she wasn’t here to see you wake up. She stayed up all night while I was working.”

“All night?” I glanced at the cave. “How long was I out?”

“Sixteen hours,” Anne said. “I could have woken you earlier, but you needed the rest.” She looked out into the cavern. “Arachne’s in the cavern, and Variam and Sonder are getting supplies. I asked for some stuff from the flat and the market.”

“You’ve been up all night?” I asked. Casting spells for that long takes it out of you, especially on top of lack of sleep.

Anne shook her head. “There are biochemical processes that keep you awake. I can go a lot longer than this.”

I glanced at her clothes. “Uh, how did you get those bloodstains?”

Anne looked at me with eyebrows raised. “They’re yours.”

“Oh.”

I was quiet for a little while as Anne continued to check over me. “How close was I . . .” I said. I didn’t add to dying, but the words hung in the air.

Anne didn’t meet my eyes, but her hand tightened on my wrist for an instant before moving to the side of my neck. “You don’t want to know.”

“So remember when you told me that it felt like you didn’t need to worry about me so much? I guess I kind of screwed that up, didn’t I?”

Anne gave something between a laugh and a sob and dropped her head, her hair brushing my chest. “Don’t . . .” She drew a breath and looked up at me. “Don’t do anything like this again. Please.”

I smiled. “I’ll work on that.”

Footsteps sounded from the tunnel, and Anne straightened as Luna walked in. She’d changed clothes at some point during the night and was wearing something less eye-catching. “Hey!” she said cheerfully as she saw me. “You’re up!”

“You don’t sound too surprised.”

“Well, yeah,” Luna said. “You had Anne with you.” She pulled up a chair, keeping her distance. The silver mist of her curse curled around her at the edge of my vision, marking the boundary beyond which she couldn’t safely approach. “So how’s it feel to be back from the dead?”

“A lot better than the alternative,” I said. I felt tired and fragile, but there was no pain and I could talk. Anne’s good at what she does. I glanced between the two of them. “What did I miss?”

Anne looked at Luna. “Well,” Luna said, settling back into her chair. “You remember the firemen picking you up?”

“Not much else, but yeah.”

“They got you out the front door. They were bringing the hoses in and there was smoke everywhere. It was packed outside and I was worried those guys might still be around, so I stuck next to you and called Anne and Vari and told them to get moving. Then the police started setting up barriers and the ambulance showed up and the medics got to you. I was on the phone to Anne and she was giving me advice on what to do and she told me to let them treat you until she got there. They put you in the ambulance and I got them to take me too and they took us to the hospital.” Luna stopped.

I thought for a second, trying to figure it out. “The hospital?”

“Yeah.”

“Did they . . . discharge me or something?”

“Ah . . .” Luna said. “Not exactly.”

I looked around at the walls of Arachne’s cave, puzzled. “Then how did I end up here?”

“Anne said not to tell you about that until you’re better.”

I looked from Luna to Anne, eyebrows raised. “Let’s just say we’re lucky that Vari looks good in a uniform,” Luna added.

“Luna!” Anne said.

“Sorry.”

I sighed and laid my head back. “You know what, I don’t want to know.”

“So did you see me against those guys?” Luna said. “Did you catch the bit where I blocked that fire wall with my whip?”

“From my angle it was kind of hard to miss.”

“Good! I was worried you were too far gone to see it.”

“I’m glad you’ve got your priorities straight,” I said dryly.

“So I saved your life back there,” Luna said, ignoring my comment. “Didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“I mean, really saved your life. You would have died if I hadn’t been there, right?”

“Yes.”

“You looked really helpless when you were on the floor like that. You were just lying there sprawled out and—”

“Is there somewhere you’re going with this?”

“So now do I get to be the master and you have to do what I say?”

I glared at her. “No!”

“Well, you know, maybe you’re slowing down with age. Do you think I should start being your bodyguard?”

“You’re going to have to work on your coverage if you’re planning to take that up,” I said. “Where were you while I was fighting anyway?”

“I was in the bathroom.”

“Right. If I ever get killed when you’re supposed to be protecting me, that’ll make a great explanation.”

“So do you think any of the security cameras got the fight?” Luna said. “Because if they did I could show it to Vari and the others at duelling class.”

I couldn’t help laughing, and Luna grinned too. “So,” she said, becoming serious, “who were they?”

My smile faded. “That’s . . . a long story.” Talking with Anne and Luna had let me briefly forget everything from last night, but now it suddenly came back again.

The silence stretched out, and Anne and Luna looked at each other. “Well, I guess it can wait,” Luna suggested.

“I’ll tell you,” I said. “Just . . . I don’t really want to tell this story more than once.”

“We’ll wait until Vari and Sonder are back,” Anne said. “In the meantime, you should rest.” She gave Luna a glance.

Luna nodded and rose. “I’ll tell them.” She paused at the tunnel leading out, one hand on the rock wall. “Alex? Glad you’re okay.” She disappeared.

“You’ve gotten careless,” Arachne told me.

“I know,” I said with a sigh. “Things have been quiet lately.”

“Not that quiet.”

“Okay, not that quiet. But the last few months it’s been the subtle sort of trouble, you know? It’s been politics I’ve been worried about, not assassins going after me right in the middle of a bloody casino.”

Arachne is about the size of a rhino and much taller, eight hairy legs running up to a black arachnid body highlighted in cobalt blue. Eight black eyes are clustered above a set of fangs that wouldn’t look out of place on a sabre-toothed tiger, and she can scuttle at lightning speed. One glance at her would make most people would run screaming, but I have exactly the opposite reaction and I prefer Arachne’s company to pretty much anyone else’s. I was glad Luna and Anne and Variam had brought me here; it was probably the safest place they could have picked.

Arachne’s lair is under Hampstead Heath. The entrance tunnel is hidden beneath an old tree and leads down into a huge circular cavern hung with a dazzling rainbow of clothes and fabrics. The walls, floor, and ceiling are stone, worn smooth from centuries of use except for a jagged patch around one of the side caves that marks the spot where someone was inconsiderate enough to set off some explosives last year. Anne had helped me into a robe and escorted me into the main chamber, and I was resting on a sofa, talking to Arachne as she sewed on her workbench. Anne was sitting quietly by the main entrance, and Luna had gone out to make a call.

“I still can’t believe they attacked me out in the open like that,” I said. “It seems crazy.”

“From the sound of it this boy doesn’t seem to care very much about risks.”

“I guess that’s it, isn’t it?” I said. “I’ve gotten used to dealing with professionals. They wouldn’t take a risk like that; they’re predictable. It’s the bloody amateurs you have to watch out for.”

“Well, just in case you run into any more amateurs, I think you ought to wear something a little more protective,” Arachne said. Arachne’s voice has a clicking rustle to it, not quite loud enough to be obtrusive but enough to remind you it’s there. “I’ve been telling you that for months.”

“Yeah, yeah. You were right, I was wrong.”

“I hope this’ll teach you a little more humility at least.”

“Look, I’ve already got Luna giving me grief me over this. I don’t need it from you too.”

“It’s good to be reminded of one’s mortality from time to time.” Arachne can’t smile, but her voice sounded amused. “Though perhaps in future you could find a slightly less extreme way of doing it.”

Voices echoed down the tunnel and Variam and Sonder arrived, walking down with Luna in the lead. As soon as Variam and Sonder saw me they wanted to know if I was all right, and it took me a while to convince them that I was, which led in turn to Luna giving Variam and Sonder another retelling of her version of the fight in the casino.

By the time it was done we were sitting in a rough circle on Arachne’s sofas, while Arachne worked quietly off to one side. “So,” Variam said. “Who are these guys and how do we get rid of them?”

“I might have found out something about that,” Sonder said unexpectedly. “I was asking around and there’s this new group showing up among the adepts.”

Adepts are the next step down from mages on the power scale; they can use magic but only in one very specific way. A time mage like Sonder can speed time up, slow it down, look into the past, and even do really weird stuff like kicking something out of the timeline entirely, at least in theory. A time adept can only do one of those things—they have one spell they can use, and that’s it. They don’t get the best treatment from mages and a lot of them carry a fair bit of resentment as a result. “They’re supposed to be some kind of vigilantes?” Sonder said. “Or they’ve been getting into fights, anyway. I don’t know if they’re the same people, though—the ones I heard about are supposed to only have a problem with Dark mages.”

“What makes you think they’re not the same ones?” I said dryly.

“But you’re not . . .” Sonder began, then trailed off. “Oh.”

“What sort of fights?” Luna asked.

“I think they’re supposed to be pro-adept?” Sonder said. “They attacked some Dark mage in Bristol a while back.”

Variam shot Luna a glance, frowning. “If they’re so pro-adept, how come they were after you?”

Luna shrugged. “They weren’t, they were after Alex. I just got in the way.”

“Okay . . .” Variam said doubtfully, looking at me.

I hesitated, on the edge of speaking. It would be so easy to change the subject, and for a moment I grabbed at the idea. Tell them an edited version, skate over the worst bits, and move on. For all the time that I’d spent with Anne and Variam and Sonder and Luna over the past year I’d never told them much about myself, not even Luna. And they trusted me—if I told them I didn’t want to talk about it, they’d accept it.

Except . . .

Except that they did trust me. When I’d been hurt, they’d come without hesitation. Sonder and Luna had been at my side all the way through the search for the fateweaver and the attack on Arachne last year, and Anne and Variam had joined them after the events of last winter. Hadn’t they earned the right to know what was really going on? And if they were willing to put themselves at risk, shouldn’t I at least tell them why?

The silence stretched out, the four of them glancing at me and waiting for me to speak. From the other side of the room, I could hear the soft whisk-whisk of Arachne’s needle. “The adept who stabbed me is called Will Traviss,” I said at last. It was an effort to get the words out. “He thinks I killed his sister.”

The four of them looked at each other. “Why does he think that?” Variam said.

“Because I did,” I said. “Or as good as.” It was hard to say it, but an odd sort of relief, too. At least I wouldn’t have to hide it anymore.

I wanted to look away but forced myself to meet their eyes. All of them looked taken aback, and Sonder looked outright shocked. “What I’m about to tell you happened ten to twelve years ago,” I said. “There’s no way to make this short, so you’re going to have to be patient. And . . . just so you know, this story doesn’t have a happy ending.” I took a breath and began.