Castle Dreams

Seventeen Spot Quiz No

Multiple Choice. Circle the correct answer.

A. spell that makes things happen is called a:

A. magic spell

B. make-it-happen spell

C. facilitation spell

D. bribe

A device for faster-than-light communication is a:

A. cellular phone

B. CB radio

C. multiphone

D. friend of your wife

What character in Greek mythology does the strange specter in the ferryboat evoke?

A. Charon

B. Theseus

C. Bellerophon

D. Biff the Wonder Clam of Phrygia

Departed relatives may be contacted in the afterworld through the services of a:

A. psychic medium

B. necromancer

C. good lawyer

D. yenta

There once was a man from Khartoum, who took a lesbian up to his:

A. room

B. pad

C. flat

D. roommate

Life’s a bitch, and then you:

A. get transferred to New Jersey

B. get audited by the IRS

C. die and then get transferred to New Jersey

D. die and then get audited by the IRS

Posse comitatus is a Latin phrase meaning:

A. a band of unconscious deputies

B. an unconscious pussycat

C. a band of communist deputies

D. a band of communist pussycats

If a.01-kiloton warhead can kill 1000 people, how many times more powerful would a warhead have to be in order to kill all the lawyers in the world?

A. 100 times

B. 1000 times

C. 10,000 times

D. nuclear weapons aren’t that powerful

Author is to publisher as helpless swimmer is to:

A. poisonous jellyfish

B. riptide

C. shark

D. tidal wave

Book reviewer is to snake as literary critic is to:

A. jerk

B. weasel

C. alcoholic failed writer with two divorces under his belt

D. shithead

Essay Questions. Again, your answer should be limited to 500 words.

Discuss the problems inherent in the task of adapting this novel as (1) a screenplay; (2) a radio drama; (3) a “graphic novel” (comic book); (4) a set of collector dinner plates.

Briefly outline the eschatologies of the world’s major religions and compare and contrast them. Tell how you wouldn’t be caught dead in any of them, and are they kidding or what?

Write an essay praising the author in the most enthusiastic terms and send it to the publisher, along with an order for 15 copies of each of his books.

Suggested Projects:

Organize a jousting tournament in your neighborhood. Seek federal funding. The departments of Housing, Education and Welfare would be good places to start.

Organize a toad-fling in your neighborhood. Call it “performance art” or “conceptual art.” Seek federal funding. The National Endowment for the Arts would be a good place to start.