Brooke

10

In the Battle Room, Reef and Hayden take turns explaining what happened.

When they are finished, Perry’s green eyes narrow on me. “Why did you engage them?”

I could give him one of several different answers. Gut feeling. Fear. Because I knew we could press our advantage. But instead I just say, “I wanted it to be over. And I knew we’d have to take some risks to keep him out for good.”

“Thank you, Brooke. You did well.” He holds my eyes a moment longer, his direct gaze brimming with gratitude and respect. Something passes between us that feels solid and promising.

I was wrong before. Perry and I don’t have an ending. We just have more beginnings.

When the discussion turns to food rations and other matters that don’t concern me, I excuse myself.

My impulse is to find Clara, but somehow my feet take me to the Dweller cavern.

Molly comes over when she sees me. “Well done,” she coos, cupping my cheeks. “I heard all about it from Willow.”

I went straight to the Battle Room when I arrived. How Willow knows everything before everyone is a mystery to me.

“Thanks,” I say to Molly. “Does that mean I get out of Dweller water duty today?”

She purses her lips. “Well, I suppose since—”

“I’m kidding, Molly.” Feeling strong and proud of myself, I pick up one of the jugs by the water barrel and fill it, deciding I’ll pitch in for a little while.

Today the Dwellers are improving. I see glimpses of life returning to them. The regular rise and fall of their chests as they slumber. The twitching behind their eyelids that tells me they’re dreaming instead of floating in darkness.

Soren is awake. He watches me for a few minutes before I finally kneel beside him.

“I was waiting for you,” he rasps.

“Why didn’t you call me over?” I say, giving him some water.

“I don’t know your name.”

He wants me to tell him, but for some reason I like keeping it from him. “Shame,” I say, putting the clay jug to his cracked lips. He takes five long sips. His increasing thirst is a good sign he’s recovering.

“The water?” he says, nodding at the jug. “You don’t need it.”

“I don’t need it?”

“As an excuse. You’re using it so you can come talk to me.”

I’m tempted to pour the rest on his head. “Really?” I say, forcing myself to look smitten. “I can come over to your side anytime?” I stand. “What about when I want to leave your side? Do I need an excuse then? Or permission?” I start walking backward. “Oh, look.” I glance at my feet. “It’s working!”

He grins. “Your name!” He tries to raise his voice, but it comes out sounding more like a croak.

“Bye, Soren!”

I leave the cavern because I want him to wonder where I went. Also because I remember the reason I came here to begin with.

I had forgotten that Aria was moved after her surgery. She’s been recovering in Perry’s tent. That’s where I head.

I find her sleeping on a bed pad wide enough for two. No need to guess who she shares it with. The realization stings, but only faintly.

The warrior in me is too strong today for me to feel weakness. And while I have not moved on, I am moving. I am trying. I am creating new beginnings.

I kneel at her side and take a few seconds to let my pulse calm. Then I lean close to her and say what needs saying.

“I told you before that you took him from me. . . . You didn’t. He was mine for a time, but now that’s past, and it’s all right. It would have happened with you or without you. But now he’s yours. He belongs to you, and I think he always will. And I hope you know how lucky that makes you. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I don’t hate you. You never deserved that. So . . . that’s all.”