Brimstone

Chapter Thirty-two

The temperature had climbed steadily as they moved closer to the surface but here, at the mercy of a huge and blazing sun, the temperature was a good thirty degrees higher than it had been down in the arena. Their bodies had adjusted to the slow increase in temperature but the blast that had struck them when they moved into the open was nearly unbearable.

They paused in the shade of one of the only trees beyond the garden, wishing desperately that it still had leaves, or more branches. They gulped the water as if they’d never see another drop. It seemed to pass right through them, gone as sweat as soon as the water was drunk. Sheppard drew in a deep breath and looked at Mara.

She swiped at her forehead with one arm. Her face was streaked with dirt and sweat and her lips were cracked from the heat, but still she was pretty. “It’s not much further,” she sighed. “Perhaps another quarter of a mile.”

“I know.” Sheppard nodded in the direction of the gate, but the last thing he wanted to do was leave the shade of that tree. “Let’s get this over with.”

Ronon took Cumby’s arm again and helped him lever himself away from the tree. Ronon was used to hardship but this was nearly more than even he could bear. He was a big man, and the heat hit him hard.

They moved as quickly as possible across those hot, open spaces, headed for the city gates. They loomed in the distance, seemingly miles away. The water was going fast and the heat was increasing at an alarming rate. Even Sheppard began to doubt whether they would make it.

Mara stumbled and Sheppard grabbed her arm.

“Thank you.” Her smile was weak and forced.

“Are you okay?”

She checked his face, saw genuine concern there. “As okay as I can be.” She paused for a moment. “You didn’t have to pretend, you know.”

“Pretend what?” Sheppard feigned ignorance, but the conversation he had dreaded was upon him. They no longer needed Mara, but to have to face her with the truth of his deception was painful.

“You pretended that there was a special connection between the two of us, but all along we both knew you just needed me to get your people out of Admah.” When no response was forthcoming from Sheppard, she pressed on. “Don’t be ashamed. I understand. You’re a good man and a good leader. You would have done anything to save your people. Even a love-sick and very bored woman like me can see that.”

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I honestly want you to come with us — to save yourself from this. You can’t stay here.”

She looked away, not answering him. “Your people would die for you, you know that? I can see it in their faces. As far as you are willing to go to protect them, they are willing to go just as far. That’s loyalty.”

“We’ve been together a long time. Been through a lot.”

She nodded. “And I’ve been through a lot with my people, too.” She jerked her head in the direction of the decrepit city. “They’re all I’ve ever known, for what that’s worth. Even Saul hasn’t always been so…difficult.”

They had reached the gates, two giant wrought iron structures which hung listlessly from the ends of the wall. Waves of heat washed over and around them, making the air swim for a moment with unrealized vapor. Ronon reached out one hand to shove the gate open a bit farther, a gesture as much of frustration as anything. Sheppard was about to tell him to stop when the sound of sizzling flesh filled the air.

“It’s hot,” Sheppard muttered to no one in particular.

“You think?” Ronon scowled and blew on his hand. It didn’t help.

Ronon drew back, steadied himself, and kicked the gate hard. It swung open a few feet, leaving the shallow imprint of the wrought iron on the bottom of Ronon’s boot. It made him feel better.

“It was already open,” Cumby commented. “It’s been open a very long time.”

“Whatever,” Ronon said.

They passed through the gates quickly, taking care not to touch any part of them. Mara paused before passing that border. She turned and stared back at the city, frowning.

“What is it?” Sheppard said, taking her arm.

“Nothing.” She pulled away from him and walked on through the ruined gates.

“I really am sorry.”

She studied him, his face streaked with dust and sweat, too red from the sun, and she sighed. “I know.” And then she was through the gates, slipping into the group and away from Sheppard.

He went through last. It bothered him that he’d had to lie to Mara and if there had been any other way, he wouldn’t have done it. But he’d pay her back — he’d save her from this fiery death.

Before them lay a long stretch of open field, unfettered by trees or ground cover of any kind. Sheppard blinked hard, trying to force the sweat from his eyes.

“I can see the gate,” Ronon offered, pointing into the distance.

Waves of heat roiled over the dead field and in the distance, the gate stood watch. Sheppard nodded and headed off in that direction. Dead grass lashed at their legs and crunched beneath their feet. There were no bugs to fly up into their faces and the sky was completely devoid of clouds. Whatever birds might have dominated the sky had long since died. In that barren, sun-baked landscape, Sheppard and his team were the only living things.

As they approached the gate, Sheppard stepped up to the DHD to activate it. Mara was close on his heels and she wavered where she stood. The sun beat down relentlessly, scorching the tops of their heads and making them all dizzy, despite the fact they’d pulled out jackets and other gear for shade.

“Hang on,” Sheppard said, starting to dial, “we’ll be out of here soon.”

“You are in quite the hurry, Colonel Sheppard.” Saul, looking half-dead from heat and fatigue, emerged from behind the gate. Behind him straggled a handful of guards, equally ragged from the heat. But they were armed and Sheppard didn’t discount them for a moment. “Did they promise to take you with them?” Saul asked Mara. “Is that why you helped them? Did he tell you that he loved you?” Saul’s face was a study in crimson, lost somewhere between crazy anger and pain.

Mara risked a look at Sheppard. The sight of his pained face tugged at her heart and she turned back to Saul. “I helped them because it was the right thing to do.”

“Being loyal to your people isn’t the right thing to do? You’ve spent your whole life with us and yet you betray your city in the end? Is that the right thing to do?”

She didn’t know what to say. She stood, swooning in the heat, her arms limp at her sides.

Sheppard stepped between them, planting his feet firmly and fighting the urge to sit down. “Your type of loyalty leaves a lot to be desired. You force them to a certain death and you call that loyalty? They are loyal to you, you betray them. In any case, forcing us to be a part of it all? How is that ‘the right thing’?”

“Not death, Colonel. Ascension. I’m leading them to a better place, a better plane of existence.”

Sheppard turned on Mara, took her by the shoulders. “You don’t believe that. You know what ascension meant to your ancestors. This isn’t that — this is suicide. This is giving up. You don’t have to die like this. You can come with us. You don’t have to stay.”

“Have you ever believed in something so strongly that you’d give your life for it?” Mara’s eyes burned but no tears would come.

“Of course.”

“That’s how I feel, in a way. I feel like I’ve given my life already, and now it’s time to let it go. I’ve spent my life here, with Saul and the others. Together, we’ve spent our entire lives betting. We bet on everything. Games, chance, life, death…it’s all a gamble. Gambling is the only thing we know. But at the end of it all, the one thing that drives us is the biggest gamble of all — that there’s some sort of meaning in what we do. I think we lost that bet. I know there’s no ascension in this death, but for me — for us — ascension is a belief and a dream that died long ago. I believe we’re going to have to settle for peace.”

He shook her a bit. It was enough to steal her breath in the heat. “But not now. Not this way!”

“Maybe Saul is right. Maybe this is the right time and the right way. The gambit is over. There’s nothing left for us. Our way of life was empty even before Saul steered us toward the sun.”

“Listen to her, Colonel. She speaks the truth.” Saul still looked tortured by the heat but beneath all that, there was a touch of arrogance, self-righteous indignation.

“Come with us.” Sheppard’s eyes pleaded with her. “There’s a better life on the other side of that gate. A whole world. I can show you records of your people, the truth — the real truth. You just have to give me the chance to do it.”

“There’s a better life on the other side of death, as well,” she said. “At least it won’t be more of this.”

Sheppard searched her face but could find no shred of hope there. He nodded and let go of her. Mara stepped down to where Saul stood and let him put one sweat-slickened arm around her shoulders.

“Be well, John Sheppard. And remember me.”

Sheppard nodded, heaved a last, painful sigh. “Cumby,” he said, “dial us up.” She watched them go, one by one, to the safety of that other world. Ronon stepped through first, then Cumby. Sheppard went last, risking one last, agonized glance over his shoulder and pausing just before stepping through the gate. Then he lifted his hand to his head — a salute, she realized. But not for her; his gaze was fixed on the city — the final resting place of his fallen friends. “Dr. Rodney McKay, Teyla Emmagan,” he said. “We won’t forget you.”

And then his eyes narrowed, peering into the distance, and his hand fell to his side. “What the hell…?”