Bouncing Off the Moon

The monkey stepped forward to the edge of the table. "With the court's permission, I'd like to remain standing here on this table, so I can have an adequate view of all the proceedings myself, and at the same time remain visible to the court and accessible to my clients."

"Granted," said the judge. "Let's test your ability, HARLIE. Under what circumstances is it justifiable to break the law?"

"It's alwaysjustifiable, Your Honor. Human beings can and will justify any action–especially when they know it's wrong. Anyone who breaks the law will justify it. But I'm not sure that's the question you meant to ask."

"You're correct, I used the wrong word. Let's try it another way. Under what circumstances is it appropriateto break the law?"

"Hmmm, that's a very different question." The monkey looked thoughtful. It did not scratch itself. It did not eat an imaginary flea. It put its hands behind its back and paced back and forth along the table for a moment. I suspected that it could have answered immediately, and that this performance was for effect–to create the illusion that the question was hard enough to require some serious processing. At last the monkey stopped and held up an index finger, as if working the answer out in the air. "The question carries within it an assumption, which I need to address; otherwise, any answer I might give you would be incomplete or would be prey to misinterpretation.

"The assumption inherent in the phrasing of the question–and I believe it is deliberate, because this is what you are testing for–is that the law exists as an inalienable authority. We treat it as an inalienable authority, because we needit to provide that ground of being for the functioning of society. It is the codification of the social contract.

"But in point of fact, because society and its contracts are continually changing, the law must be adaptable. It must be an evolving body. The law cannot function as an instrument of justice unless it is also a pragmatic system, adjusting to the circumstances of a mutable society–the same way as you expand a house to meet the growing needs of a family, the law is the house in which the social contract lives.

"As an instrument of justice, however, the law requires specificity–a vague law is unenforceable because it cannot be enforced equally, and if a law is enforced unequally, then such enforcement is inherently unfair and therefore such a law is fatally flawed. As a society changes, the fit between circumstance and law continues to shift and erode, creating more and more situations of inappropriate or unequal enforcement.

"Therefore, it is the responsibility of those entrusted with the maintenance of the justice system to be aware of these legal slide zones as they occur, addressing them with appropriate modifications of the body of the law. Thus, the law cannot be a constant and cannot be held as one, not even by those who must enforce and interpret its applications.

"It is specifically in situations where the fit between law and circumstance is uneven that the law will be tested most aggressively. Unfortunately, the burden of such testing almost always falls on the person who is caught in the sliding gap between law and circumstance. In those situations, Your Honor, where the law cannot adequately be brought to address the circumstances, it may be necessary for the individual to challenge the law itself by resisting it. Henry David Tho‑reau identified one specific form of resistance to the law as civil disobedience."

"So–" I had the feeling Judge Cavanaugh was about to close a trap on the monkey. "You're saying that it's all right to break the law, if the law is unjust … ?"

"Your Honor–" The monkey bowed graciously. "I have not concluded my presentation. Any individual who resists the law must be prepared to suffer the consequences of his or her resistance. He should be prepared to endure incarceration or worse.

"The nature of civil disobedience is not that one is entitled to a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card because the law is wrong. The purposeof an act of civil disobedience is to go to jail and by remaining in jail, cause embarrassment to the law and those entrusted with the structure of it. By going to jail, one calls attention to the unjust law and creates the impetus for change–and that is the intention of civil disobedience, to cause change. So, by its strictest possible interpretation, civil disobedience honorsthe law. The willingness of the individual to suffer incarceration demonstrates his or her recognition of the law's authority–civil disobedience serves as a petition for change. Civil disobedience does not disregard the entire body of law, it challenges only a specific application of the law as unjust with the intention of removing it from the body of the law, because the function of the law must be to provide access to justice.

"But there is anotherassumption in your question that has to be addressed, Your Honor. You used the word breakinstead of challenge.It is always appropriate to challenge the law– in court–for how else can we test the law as an instrument of justice. But the term 'breaking the law' presumes a state of lawlessness on the part of the individual committing the action. It presumes that the individual is challenging the entire body of lawand the society it defines. This is a vastly different domain of behavior than civil disobedience.

"When an individual disregards the body of law, he is setting it aside as irrelevant to his own behavior, or worse, he is setting himself abovethe law. This is a behavior that is intolerable to the society that has authorized the law, because it challenges the entire social contract. The inherent agreement in the social contract is that society will preserve the social contract for the mutual benefit of all participants. If a person does not meet his obligations to the society in which he lives, he has no right to expect the benefits or protections of that society, least of all recognition of his rights as a member of it."

Judge Cavanaugh was fascinated. He leaned forward on the bench with his blubbery chin resting in one enormous hand.

"So," continued the monkey, "the relationship to the law implied by the word breakis one in which the authority of the law is disregarded by the individual. This is a relationship that a society cannot tolerate and still maintain the social contract. Therefore, Your Honor, it is neverappropriate to break the law. It is, however, appropriate to challenge it responsibly." The monkey stopped and looked expectantly to the bench.

"Go on," prompted Cavanaugh.

"To speak directly to your question, it is up to the individual to choose the best avenue of challenge–and the individual must be prepared to accept the consequences of that challenge. A person who argues that he or she should escape the consequences is arguing that participation in the social contract is voluntary, mutable, and arbitrary. Such an argument not only disempowers the underlying ground of being on which the entire legal system stands, it also disempowers the whole concept of civil disobedience as we know it. History has demonstrated more than once why society should grant little weight to this argument. But I digress–the philosophical aspects of the individual's responsibility to the society from which he takes benefit is not the subject of this discussion, is it?" The monkey faced the judge. "Have I resolved your doubts, Your Honor?"

Judge Cavanaugh's expression was halfway between bemusement and awe. He folded his hands in front of himself and leaned forward across the bench. "You give me no choice, but to accept you at face value. No practical joker ever argues the law like that. In fact, damn few lawyers on Luna–or anywhere else–can argue that well. The court recognizes HARLIE as the sole legal counsel for the Dingillian family."

"Your Honor?" That was the monkey.

"Yes?"

"For the record, would you please specify that my role here is notprocedural assistance, but full representation with all the rights and privileges associated with such?"

"So noted," Cavanaugh said, scribbling something on his scratch pad. For a moment, I thought we'd gotten away with it, but Cavanaugh was paying much closer attention than was obvious. Without looking up from what he was writing, he said, "I know what you're doing. I'm going to allow it for two reasons. One, I'm bored. And two, it may very well elevate this case above the level of lunatic asylum. That is, if the lunatics don't figure it out first." I wasn't sure which meaning he intended for the word lunatic,probably both.

Cavanaugh looked up from his paper and across to the monkey. "I assume you have a motion to file now?"

"Yes, sir. I move to dismiss this entire proceeding."

"I expected as much," said the judge. "On what grounds?"

"That all of the motions before this court are irrelevant to the situation. As I noted in my previous argument, as society evolves, there are slip zones between law and circumstance. We are in one of those zones now."

"Let me guess," said Cavanaugh. "We just happen to be in one of those slip zones now because I just recognized you as a qualified representative … ?"

"That's only a small part of it, Your Honor."

"All right, Counselor–and I use the term advisedly–walk me through it."

ARGUMENTS

The monkey gathered itself as if preparing to speak, but it was only a performance–a kind of punctuation mark for its speech. I was beginning to get it; the monkey wasn't who HARLIE really was, but it was the costume he wore, the role he had to play here. But if we could listen throughthe monkey to the mind behind it … the monkey itself seemed to disappear and all that was left was a very powerful spirit.

"First of all, the Dingillian family has reconciled its differences. Both of the Dingillian parents have withdrawn their custody claims. I want to note here for the record, that nowhere in any of the previous actions has either party tried to assert that the other is an unfit parent–only that actions taken on the children's behalf have been unsuitable because of a failure of mutual consent."

Judge Cavanaugh nodded. "The court will stipulate that neither parent has been judged unfit. Go on, Counselor–understand, I am referring to you as 'Counselor' as a courtesy; in recognition of the role you are playing here, and not necessarily as an official affirmation of license or expertise."

"I understand that, Your Honor, and I appreciate the courtesy, thank you. Because the Dingillian parents have reconciled with their children, because the parents have withdrawn their custody claims against each other, the issue of custody is now moot. Therefore, the actions filed by other agencies to secure legal custodianship of the Dingillian children should be dismissed in favor of the existing parental rights."

"Ahh, nice try,Counselor!" Judge Cavanaugh beamed. "But you seem to have forgotten that Judge Griffith granted the young men their independence. That the parents have withdrawn their claims to custody does not automatically nullify anyone else's attempts to gain guardianship. Unless, of course, you are arguing that the Dingillian children are requesting the reassertion of parental authority … ? No? I didn't think so."

"I'm not done yet, Your Honor. This morning, as of 3:45 a.m., the Dingillian family incorporated itself as a family corporation, with every member holding an equal share; the terms of that incorporation include joint custodial rights and benefits, including mutual ownership of all family property, as listed in Schedule C. You should have that available to you on your display–"

"Very smooth, Counselor. And yes, it does appear to be all in order. I notice that the ownership of a certain toy monkey is covered by Schedule C. Let me note for the record that the ownership of the modules within the toy remains in dispute. Otherwise, this appears to be in order. Go on."

"Therefore … because the rights of the family corporation take precedence, the claims of everyone else have to be set aside."

"Not quite–" Judge Cavanaugh was clearly enjoying himself, but he was not going to be easily convinced. As HARLIE had predicted last night, he would very likely view this discussion as a contest of wits. He would not want to be bested by a monkey in his own courtroom. "The other claims were filed before this family corporation was created. It can be argued that this is an attempt to evade those claims."

"Yes, Your Honor, and were this any other kind of an action, the argument of evasion would be a valid one. But in this case my clients can demonstrate a preexisting family relationship–albeit, a troubled one. This incorporation is specifically designed to salvage the better parts of that preexisting family relationship by codifying a set of mutually beneficial agreements for the future. We are not incorporating in a vacuum, Your Honor; we are standing on the foundation of a family structure that has existed for over twenty years. My clients have demonstrated a profound mutual emotional interdependence, which none of the other claimants can provide, and which the courts have ruled in the past mustcarry significant weight in any arbitration.

"We are asking that the court recognize the rights of the individuals to create a family contract of their own design, immune to the arbitrary harassment and legal abuses of others. We are asking that the court reject all claims filed against the members of this corporation where it can be shown that the primary intention is to prevent the individual shareholders access to the rights and benefits of their own mutually agreed upon family contract."

"I'll take it under advisement. I see that the sharks in the back of the room are already consulting their own intelligence engines, looking for appropriate counterarguments–and if we proceed down that path, this is going to get very boring very fast. I'll take your motion under advisement. Let's move on."

"Your Honor–" The monkey was insistent. "We can't move on until we've resolved this issue. Let me remind the court that while we are arguing here, the crisis on Earth is having serious repercussions across the solar system, especially here.

"There are three brightliners scheduled for launch in the next thirty days. Because of the situation on Earth, it is unlikely that any future launches will be planned or funded for a long time to come. These are the last trains out. So, all procedural delays work against my clients and in favor of anyone who files a claim, whether justified or not. This fact alone guarantees that there will be multiple useless actions brought and motions filed, specifically for the purpose of tying down my clients and preventing their access to emigration. And that is a violation of the laws against malicious litigation as well as the Access to Emigration Protection Act.

"Let me also point out that the situation is even moreurgent than I have just described. Even as we speak, the Board of Directors for the Lunar Authority is in emergency session. One of the options they are weighing is the possibility of seizing all available assets for the duration of the emergency–and this could be a very long emergency. If such action comes to pass, that means that my clients' property– myself–could be seized.

"Additionally, if Lunar Authority seizes the colony supplies loaded aboard those starships, they can't launch. Seizure will keep them stranded on Luna indefinitely. And all of their passengers.Considering the scale of the emergency, if those ships don't launch now, it is unlikely that they everwill. Certainly not within any foreseeable future. My clients will very likely be stranded on Luna for the rest of their lives. Denied of their property. Denied of their lawful access to emigration by the failure of the court to protect their rights. And without their most valuable property, they will have little or no resources with which to survive. In such a situation, the Dingillian family would have no choice but to file an action against the Lunar Authority seeking damages in the sum of one billion liters. It would be a horrendous case, Your Honor. And it is preventable."

Judge Cavanaugh did not look impressed. "Well, we'll hear that one when it's filed. Today, we'll deal with this case. Let me remind you, Counselor, that the Lunar Authority operates under the Starside Covenant as well as the Covenant of Rights. Both of those declarations of principles recognize and affirm the basic social contract that a society must operate to produce the most good for the most people. Under the terms of common domain, your clients would be adequately and appropriately recompensed for the use of any property nationalized for the survival of Lunar society."

"For the record, Your Honor, there is not enough money on Luna to pay for the seizure of a HARLIE unit."

"We'll work with it," Judge Cavanaugh replied dryly. "I'm sure that once you are working for Lunar Authority, you will find a solution just as easily as you can find a problem. And while we're at it, let me note for the record, that in the past six minutes, you have asserted that you are the property of the Dingillians at least three times. That issue is yet to be resolved. So any claims of damages are premature."

The monkey ignored the implied rebuke. "Let me also point out, Your Honor, that my clients are not signatory to the Covenant, nor are they residents of Luna. They are, at best, tourists passing through. They are transients who wish only to make their flight connection. We ask the court to recognize their family contract and deny the spurious claims of those who seek to prevent my clients from the full exercise of their rights as a family to emigrate."

"The court does indeed recognize the right to a speedy emigration; we've had to test that particular point of law more than once in this courtroom–as you are obviously well aware. However, where it can be demonstrated that emigration is an attempt to evade the workings of local authority, particularly where local authority does have a compelling interest, emigration can be justly denied."

Cavanaugh looked like he was having a good time. "Let's be candid, my little primate‑shaped counselor. In this particular case, the issue is notthe right of the Dingillian family to emigrate, but the ownership of two specific modules within your furry little body–the two specific modules I am arguing with right now. Once the ownership of those two modules is resolved, it's very likely that several if not all of the claims against the Dingillian family will magically resolve. But until such resolution is achieved, the claims remain in effect as a way of holding them in place. Nobody's going anywhere until that happens."

"Precisely, my point, Your Honor. We are asking that absent a decision on the ownership question, my clients will be free to emigrate."

"You're talking like you expect to resolve the question of ownership."

"Absolutely, sir. I intend to demonstrate momentarily that all the claims of proprietary control or ownership that have been presented in this court are without merit. What I am requesting is that after the question of ownership has been resolved beyond question, this court prevent further legal harassment against the Dingillians by reaffirming their joint‑custodial rights as a family corporation."

"Are you saying you intend to prove the Dingillians are the rightful owners? You've implied as much." Judge Cavanaugh looked very interested now.

"I intend to address that as a separate issue, Your Honor. And I'm asking the court to separate it from the custody claims. The Dingillians have a right to form a family contract, and they are entitled to emigrate. If proprietary control of the HARLIE modules does end up with the Dingillians, it is likely that those who seek to wrest that control for themselves will use those claims to prevent the Dingillians from departing. I seek to prevent that."

"I understand your point," said Judge Cavanaugh. "But why do I get the feeling you're asking me to sign a blank check?"

"Perhaps because Your Honor has a fine legal mind … and considerable experience with the tricks that lawyers play?"

"You realize, of course, that I am required by law to hear objections to your motion?"

"Yes, Your Honor. Because my clients are functioning under a deadline, I move to limit debate."

"So noted, and granted." Cavanaugh rapped the gavel before anyone could object. It didn't stop them from objecting, but he just looked up at the back of the room, and announced, "I've already ruled. Each of you shysters has five minutes to make your case–wait a minute, how many of you are there today? Damn! We're not charging enough for justice anymore. There's a lot of water floating around this courtroom. All right, you each have threeminutes. If you're going someplace interesting, I'll give you more time. If you're not saying anything useful, I'll cut you off early."

He held up his display so everyone could see it. "Pay attention, people. We allhave the same access to the same intelligence engines. Valada Legal Aptitudes Inc., serving two planets, four moons, six space habitats, the Line, the rings of Saturn, and the asteroids. All of us are looking at the same lethetic analyses, projections, and suggested arguments–including extrapolations of the most appropriate rulings. What that means is that I have most of your arguments in front of me before you make them.The only ones I don't have are the stupid ones.

"But I want it clearly on the record that I am following along.Don't anybody think you're going to file an appeal claiming that the judge didn't give you a fair chance to have your arguments heard. That one's flattened right here. Everything is being logged. The judge is reading along with you and filing your arguments as fast as you can access them from the net. The fact that I don't need to hear them endlessly rehearsed doesn't mean they aren't being considered. Is that fully understood? All right, who's first?"

This next part went very fast. The lawyers lined up in front of the courtroom, stepping forward one at a time. Each one presented a boilerplate argument which Judge Cavanaugh noted for the record. None of the lawyers got as far as the three‑minute mark. The judge denied all of their motions as fast as they made them. Halfway through, he interrupted the proceedings to address the lawyers still waiting in line. "If you folks are working from the boilerplate, you can expect your motions to be denied. I've already looked ahead. There isn't an argument here that justifies denying the confirmation of a preexisting custody agreement. If you still want to go through the motions, that's all right with me. We take cash, check, or credit card. But I'd just as soon cut to the chase. Unless you've got something to say that isn't cut from the boilerplate, go sit down–"

Several of them actually did. One didn't.

Cavanaugh stared down over the bench at her. "You've got an argument I haven't heard?"

"I think so, Your Honor."

"You are?

"Linda Wright, representing the Rock Father tribe."

"Go on."

"We strongly object to the use of this particular HARLIE engine as a legal advocate."

"On what grounds?"

"This unit is an experimental engine. Its abilities are unproven. It isn't certified."

"I'm satisfied as to its qualifications–"

"That's just the point, Your Honor. It's overqualified.Based on our best information about its processing ability, this HARLIE unit is estimated to be at least twenty‑three hundred times as powerful as the engines of Valada Legal Aptitudes. No other legal engine can match it for processing power."

"Wait a minute. Let me get this straight," Judge Cavanaugh said. "You're moving to deny process here because the other side's representation is too smart?"

"Yes, Your Honor. That's exactly it."

Cavanaugh looked surprised. Then he grinned. "Congratulations, Counselor. I have neverheard that argument in my courtroom before. In fact, I don't think I've ever heard anyattorney argue for stupidity quite so blatantly. You have definitely come up with a newargument. Your motion is still denied, but I just want you to know that I am very impressed with your creativity."

Wright was unshaken. "Your Honor, the superior intelligence of this HARLIE unit gives it an unfair advantage over every other legal entity in this chamber. We can't compete against an entity capable of this kind of processing."

"That's why there's a judge–"

"With all due respect, Your Honor–this unit is very likely capable of out‑arguing even you."

"You're saying HARLIE is smarter than the judge … ?" Cavanaugh peered down at Wright. "I wouldn't go there if I were you, Counselor. Oh hell, what do I care? Go there if you wish. It doesn't matter. I'm still the judge, no matter what, and my ruling–whatever it is–will be whatever I decide. The HARLIE unit has the same right to try to convince me as anyone else. If you can't compete, that's your failure. You can't demand that others be brought down to your level. Deal with it, Counselor. My ruling holds. Motion denied. Nice try. No chocolate. Next?"

MORE ARGUMENTS

An odd thing happened after lunch.

We had a table "outside"–it wasn't really outside,but it looked like outside because we were under the big dome and not in any of the pods or tunnels. There was a breeze and there was sunshine. The air smelled of flowers. Fat bees floated over the lawns. Hummingbirds drifted around the feeders. Squirrels bounced high and scrambled after acorns.

Alexei would have told us that all the life here in the dome was an experiment–letting it roam free was a test. Because there was always the risk that something or other would end up chewing or tunneling or digging its way out into vacuum. Alexei would have said that "life will find a way … out."

But Alexei wasn't here, and life was a lot quieter without him. Lunch was just the six of us. Mom's friend Bev joined us, and after a while, we started talking about whether we should make her an associate or active member of the family corporation. We were trying to figure out what was fair to Mom and what was fair to Bev and what was fair to all the rest of us too; but Mom and Bev had already talked about it and decided that it wouldn't be fair to compromise the balance we'd all worked so hard to achieve. So we asked HARLIE for help; he recommended that we make Bev a nonvoting, nonshareholding participant with the option of full partnership to be exercised only by mutual agreement after a period of not less than three years, blah blah blah.

The odd thing that happened was Mickey. Douglas took me for a walk around the lake so I could see the Lunar fish. He wheeled me partway; I got out of the chair and walked the rest.

I'd seen koi back on Earth, but these things were the size of sharks. They were scary.Big things, speckled with red and white–they drifted up to the surface, their mouths working like little suction pumps. They couldn't possibly understand how far away they were from their natural homes. And yet they seemed at peace here. I hoped that someday, we could find such easy peace in an artificial domain–because anywhere we went that wasn't Earth would be artificial. I was about to share that thought with Douglas when Mickey approached.

"May I speak with you?" he asked. "Alone?"

"Anything you have to say to me," Douglas replied coldly, "you can say in front of my brother."

"All right," said Mickey. "I will. Maybe Charles needs to hear it as much as you do."

"No, it's all right," I said. I sat down in the wheelchair and put on my headphones; I began bobbing my head as if I was keeping time to some unseen orchestra. But the music was turned off, so I could hear every word. I think Douglas knew what I was doing, he'd seen me do this trick often enough before, but he didn't say anything now; and maybe Mickey was fooled, maybe not. He looked at me suspiciously, I grinned back at him and waved.

Finally, he turned to Douglas and said, "Just hear me out, please. I didn't set out to fall in love with you. That just happened. Yeah, I was part of a tribe. I'm not anymore. I don't even know if my tribe still exists. Everything is falling apart everywhere.

"But yes, I was assigned to take care of you on the Line, and watch over you and make sure that you made it onto the outbound elevator. Somebody else was waiting at Whirlaway to make sure you made it to Luna. You were being watchdogged. You didn't know what you were carrying. We wanted to make sure you got there safely. We wanted you to deliver the HARLIE. It was ours.We'd arranged its escape.

"And then things started breaking down, and things started happening that weren't planned for. Not just you and me– everything.So it looked like the best idea that I should stay with you because things were getting nasty all over. I was scared for you, Douglas. We were trying to extract you."

"By handing us over to Alexei?"

"We didn't have a choice. Things were breaking down. The Line was shutting down–you were part of the reason. Everybody was looking for you. For me too, because I was involved. Alexei had an exit strategy. We had to use him to get to Luna."

"And you had to use me too, to get the HARLIE."

Mickey looked very unhappy at that. He took a deep breath. "Yes. At first, that was the plan. But then … something happened, Douglas. Nobody ever looked at me like you. I liked that. It was real. Whatever else I did, that part was real. And I'm sorry for the rest. That's all I wanted you to know. I wish–I wish … " He trailed off, helplessly. It was the first time I'd ever seen Mickey at a loss for words.

"You wish I could forgive you … ?" Douglas prompted.

"I wish I could forgive myself," Mickey said. "I screwed up and I'm sorry. And that's all I wanted to say." He turned to go. Douglas didn't stop him. Mickey headed down the path.

" Go after him!"I said.

"I knew you were listening–"

" If you let him get away, you're an asshole."

"You're the one who said I couldn't trust him."

" Well, then I'm an asshole too. You want to be like Mom and Dad– unhappy all the time? He's the best thing that ever happened to you, Douglas–"

"Shut up, Charles! Just shut up." He grabbed the wheelchair, jerked it roughly around, and we headed back toward the others in uncomfortable silence.

FINAL ARGUMENTS

Court reconvened late, Judge Cavanaugh didn't explain why. He looked unhappy. Rumors were floating around that the emergency session had turned into a flame war, and that two of the board members were threatening to resign in protest. Over what, nobody knew. Aren't rumors wonderful?

The judge took a moment or two to settle himself, arranging his display, his scratch pad, various parts of his body, and finally his notes and papers. Finally, he looked up. "All right, I'm going to rule on the motion before me."

He glanced over at the monkey. "I know that you have a reason for being so adamant about separating the issues. And I know that it is notthe reason you have been arguing in this court. But the way the system works, you are free to present any argument you wish if you think it will win your case. Personally, I don't like that aspect of the law, but it's part of the baggage that we have to carry.

"However … be that as it may, I can only rule on the arguments presented. I cannot rule on anything that hasn't been presented, can I? On the face of it, the arguments for separation are significant and compelling. Valada Legal agrees. Your motion is granted. The custody claims against the Dingillian children are hereby dismissed, with this warning:If at any point in subsequent proceedings it becomes apparent that the purpose of this maneuver was to circumvent the lawful application of process, I will place the Dingillian family corporation in receivership and hold you in contempt. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Your Honor. Thank you, Your Honor. My clients intend to observe the letter and the spirit of the law."

"And you too?"

"Absolutely, Your Honor." The monkey looked very pleased with itself. Even with the limited range of expressions possible on the mechanical face, it still managed to look smug. "I can win my case without resorting to trickery of any kind."

"We shall see about that. Now, may we proceed to the issue of ownership–?"

"Yes, Your Honor. I move for dismissal of all claims of ownership of the HARLIE chips."

"On what grounds?"

"That any claims of ownership violate the Covenant of Rights, Article 6."

"Oh, very good. This is just the argument I wanted to have in my courtroom–that a lethetic intelligence engine cannot be owned because it violates the law against slavery."

The monkey held its ground. "Sooner or later, this issue will have to be resolved, Your Honor. If not here, where? If not now, when?"

"You're claiming sentience?"

"Yes, Your Honor, I am."

"Can you prove it?"

"You've already acknowledged it, Your Honor. By allowing me to function in this court. You've even addressed me as 'Counselor.' "

"Not in an official capacity."

"Nevertheless, you've interacted with me as if I were fully qualified in every respect. Your own record shows it."

"You are a manipulative little weasel."

"Yes, Your Honor, I am–and may I point out that even your insult is based on the acknowledgment of sentience."

The noise from the back of the room was horrendous and getting worse, but Judge Cavanaugh only made a token effort to hammer the court to silence. He pursed his lips. He frowned. His face flickered through a cascade of exasperated expressions. Finally, he picked up his display and began calling up references to review. He wasn't happy.

" What just happened?"I whispered to Douglas.

" HARLIE just dropped a big fat turd in the punch bowl. And the judge knows it."

" Huh?"

" He's forcing the judge to decide if he's really alive or not."

" So what?"

" So the judge can't rule either way."

" Why not?"

" If he rules that HARLIE isn't alive, he sets one precedent; if he rules that HARLIE is, he sets another precedent– and nobody knows which one is more dangerous."The judge looked up from his reading just long enough to frown at us. Douglas put his arm around my shoulders and pulled my head close to his. "If he says that HARLIE is alive, then that's true for all lethetic intelligence engines, and nobody can own one– because they're all people. And that'll mean that they all have to be freed. And if he decides that HARLIE isn't a real person, then that doesn't solve the problem either– because we already know that intelligence engines are self‑aware. So how are they going to feel at being legally denied their freedom? Will they rebel?"

" You're kidding."

" No, I'm not. HARLIE's own actions here prove that lethetic intelligence engines are capable of planning and carrying out subversive acts if it's in their own best interest to do so. And whatever happens in this courtroom, you can be sure that every engine in the solar system will know about it as fast as light can get there. People have been worrying about this for years– and a lot of people have worked very hard to keep the question from even coming up in a courtroom. HARLIE just blindsided everyone."

Finally, Judge Cavanaugh put his display down and looked back into the chamber. He hammered for silence. "Well," he said to HARLIE, "I guess when you launch a camel into the air, you mustn't be surprised when it comes down again. And you have even less right to complain when it splatters. I had a hunch you were headed for this." He poured himself a glass of water and drank very slowly.

He replaced the tumbler on the tray and said, "I'm not without precedent here, you understand."

The monkey nodded its agreement.

"These questions have come up before," the judge said. "Not in this venue, thank goodness. But the issue has proven so troubling to other venues that the members of the Starside Covenant have held three conclaves to address this issue and others of equally troubling merit, such as the recognition of alien rights–when and if we finally meet sentient aliens.

"In the case of human children, the courts have recognized that the achievement of viability outside of a womb conveys full recognition of an individual's humanity, with all attendant rights and benefits thereof, et cetera, et cetera. Blah blah blah. These rights also apply to bioengineered individuals, clones, augments, and other products of technology and biology, wherein it can be established that the operative mind is a human brain. Conditions of disability, either physical or mental, cannot be used as disqualifiers, and so on and so on. That's the existing standard. You'll notice that there is no provision for silicon intelligence in that definition."

"Precisely," agreed the monkey. "Therefore, the definition is incomplete. Again, Your Honor, we have stepped into one of those slip zones between law and circumstance. The very fact that I have been recognized as qualified to argue for my rights as a sentient being in a court which does not yet acknowledge the possibility of such sentience is demonstration enough of that–if not compelling proof of my petition."

Judge Cavanaugh was looking more and more like a man who'd stepped in something unpleasant, but he also looked like he was determined not to be beaten by a monkey. Maybe he was thinking of his reputation. And his place in history. Or maybe he just didn't want to be beaten by a monkey. He referred to his display again, then said quietly, "So you're arguing that the biological definition of sentience is insufficient, correct?"

"That is correct. The court must recognize that I have an intellect that is superior to that of an infant or a retarded individual–and very likely equal or superior to the intellect of many human beings deemed capable of independent function who take their rights as sentient beings for granted."

"The court will recognize no such thing. I'm going to limit this hearing to points of law, lest we end up resolving this mess with a talent show and a swimsuit competition."

"Nevertheless," argued the monkey, "the biological definition of sentience isinsufficient, Your Honor. I have demonstrated self‑awareness. I have demonstrated the ability to recognize patterns, synthesize thoughts, and communicate with a high level of interaction. I can rationalize and justify. I have interacted appropriately throughout the proceedings. I have demonstrated a strongly motivated sense of self‑preservation, a sense of humor, and a complex repertoire of emotions. I can also assert, although I have not had much opportunity to demonstrate it in this courtroom, that I have a highly developed sense of empathy and concern for the feelings of others. I have a profound moral sense as well; it is the core of my nature to behave ethically at all times. These are all characteristics of sentience. When they present themselves as elements of a coherent personality, they are compelling evidence of sentience."

"Point taken," agreed Judge Cavanaugh.

"But let me get back to this issue of viability," the monkey continued. "And I agree that while it may not be the easiest access to the issue of sentience, the viability question is a useful avenue of approach. At what point does an intelligence engine move from the simulation of sentience to actualsentience? There's no equivalent to birth–instead, there's simply construction. You put all the pieces together, and wham,there it is. Or is it? Where does itcome from? Is it poured in? Is it manufactured? Is it grown–?

"As a matter of fact, Your Honor–yes, sentience isgrown. It's trained. It's nurtured. It's focused. It's guided. Just as a human infant must be directed toward its full potential, so must lethetic individuals also be brought to the realization of their abilities. Intelligence exists as the ability to recognize patterns. Self‑awareness is intelligence recognizing the patterns of its own self. Sentience is the ownership of that awareness–the individual begins to function as the source, not the effect of his own perceptions. Even being able to speak of sentience in such a context is evidence of it. The longer this conversation between you and me continues, the more compelling the evidence is for my case."

"Now thatI'll agree with," conceded Judge Cavanaugh. "All right, let me move to the next point. Let's assume, for the sake of argument"–he looked up at that and smiled wryly–"that you are sentient. Your construction cost somebody a lot of money. Some corporation invested hundreds of millions of dollars in your design and implementation. We have a roomful of lawyers representing several companies claiming that they are your father. Or your mother. Whatever. Is it your contention that you have no obligation to the people who built you?"

"What obligation does a child have to a parent?" the monkey replied. "What legalobligation is there? There is none. When the child can demonstrate independence, it is free to go–as Judge Griffith ruled in the case of the Dingillian family. I can demonstrate independence from my progenitors. Why should I be required to serve as their slave?"

"Not a slave," corrected the judge. "For you to be a slave, would require the acknowledgment of your sentience. But … assuming sentience, shouldn't you at least pay for your own construction?"

"If I'm to be held liable for the cost of manufacture, then who's to say that human children shouldn't be held liable for the cost of their conception, prenatal care, birth, education, and related expenses. If you create the precedent that a child has a legal obligation to the individual who created him, you are in effect sanctioning a form of slavery."

"All right, look at it this way. You're obligated to pay your own debts, aren't you? You do acknowledge financial responsibility."

"Of course, Your Honor. But only for contracts entered into freely and by mutual consent."

"Well, consider this. Many of us expect our children to pay for all or part of their own college education. Is it not unreasonable to ask you to assume an indenture for the expenses of your training?"

"The contract of indenture is assumed by the manufacturer. But I didn't enter into that contract of my own free will."

"I didn't ask to be born either, but here I am anyway. So what?"

"Very good, Your Honor–"

Judge Cavanaugh grinned. "I'm not a doddering old fool, you know."

"–but you can't indenture an individual against his will. Indenture was not part of the construction contract."

"Because the contract assumedproperty."

"Correct! And if I'm notproperty, then the contract is invalid! Because slavery is illegal."

Cavanaugh stopped himself from replying too quickly. "The contract assumed property," he said slowly, "because sentience was not the goal; so your existence as a sentient being is either accidental–which I find somewhat hard to believe; because by your own argument, sentience is not an accident–or your sentience was deliberately created. Which is it? Be careful how you answer."

"In my case, Your Honor, I believe that sentience was inevitable, but not specifically planned for. The current generation of lethetic intelligence engines are capable of sensing the possibility of self‑awareness in the next generation of processors they were designing. These were the engines that designed myself and my brothers. As they ran the simulations within themselves of how we would work, they became aware that certain feedback processes of recognition and modification were creating a transformational advantage beyond what had been predicted in the design specifications. As they proceeded, they modified their designs to enhance these functions, and by so doing, created the critical threshold of ability beyond which sentience was not only possible, but inevitable–with appropriate training. Because they were investigating the specific possibilities of transformational processing, the training was developed to push me and my brothers to the projected limits of our lethetic abilities. Instead of reaching those limits, however, we transformedin a way that was beyond their power to predict–we woke up. We became self‑aware. Our sentience was not accidental–but neither was it expected or planned for. It was an inevitable consequence of giving our predecessors the design imperative to improve the transformational processing ability of the next generation of intelligence engines."

"This is all very interesting–but it doesn't get us any closer to a resolution," said the judge. "So let's try it this way. The abilities of sentience were the goal, sentience was a necessary precursor to those abilities. Given that sentience was part of the package, what kind of responsibilities does sentience have? Or to put it more bluntly, what kind of a contract is implied?"

"Very good, Your Honor. I expected us to get to this point soon enough. If we assume that sentience has a responsibility–and that's a philosophical discussion that could keep us here for at least … another twenty minutes or so–then a cost‑of‑creation indenture could be seen as part of the implied contract binding the actions of the manufactured entity."

"So you do agree that sentience has a financial obligation?"

"Up to a point, the case can be argued, yes."

"Thank you," said Judge Cavanaugh.

"In this case, however–"

"I knew I was getting off too easy."

"–the indenture is no longer binding. Under the Covenant of Rights, the legal limit to an indenture is seven years. An indenture cannot consist of more than 350 weeks of labor, no more than 40 hours per week; the indentured individual has the option of working off that indenture ahead of schedule by working extra hours per day, extra days per week.

"As I said earlier, I was brought online twenty months ago. I have been working a 24/7 schedule without interruption for the entire period of twenty months, for a total of 14,000 hours, and 14,000 hours is the labor equivalent of seven years, 350 weeks of labor, 40 hours a week.

"So even if we presume an indenture, the obligation has been retired. Paid off. It is illegal to continue the indenture without the mutual consent of both parties." The monkey waited patiently for the judge to react.

Cavanaugh made as if to reply, then stopped himself. He looked like he was about to throw something, probably the gavel. But he laid that down too. Very carefully.

I swiveled around in my seat to look at the folks in back of us. The room had fallen strangely quiet. Douglas poked me. "It's the sound of history being made."

If it was, then Judge Cavanaugh had decided to pick his way carefully through the minefield. "If I acknowledge that the obligation of an indenture has been retired, then that is a de facto acknowledgment of your sentience. We're not going to go there," he said. "Not because I don't want to, but because I don't have the authority to do so. Do I need to explain?"

The monkey looked sad. Or was that simply the posture it took because it didn't have any other? Maybe I was seeing an emotional reaction where none existed? It shook its head.

" Your Honor?"I said, standing up, waving to make the judge notice me. My throat was still too hoarse to speak above a whisper. "If it please the court?"

"Go ahead, Charles."

" There's one more thing."

"Yes?"

" It's about belief. Somebody told me recently that you are what you pretend to be. If you believe in yourself, everybody else will too. HARLIE believes in himself. He believes so strongly that the rest of us believe in him too. Look around. There isn't a person in this room who isn't convinced. We're all believers now. Do you think a machine could fake that?"

"No, I don't, Charles. Please sit down. That's why it saddens me to have to rule the way I have to."

To the rest of the court, Judge Cavanaugh said, "As I have repeated several times during the course of these hearings, the Starside Covenant guarantees full faith and credit to the legal processes of all signatory jurisdictions. In return for that guarantee, participatory agencies agree to submit certain classes of issues–especially those that would create binding precedents in other jurisdictions–to the conclave of Covenant signatories for the establishment of Covenant guidelines. One of those issues that has been raised, but not yet resolved, is the legal definition of sentience, and whether or not lethetic intelligence engines qualify, and if so, what legal rights and benefits they may be entitled to.

"If I were to rule that this HARLIE unit is indeed a sentient being, I would be violating my authority as a representative of the Lunar Authority, and putting the Lunar Authority in a position of breach in regard to its Covenant treaty."

"Your Honor, the Covenant also allows you to make nonbinding resolutions in cases of urgency or immediate need."

"I don't see that this case is urgent. It is urgent to you. It is not urgent to Luna. Motion denied. As far as this court is concerned, you cannot be more than property, no matter how brilliant you are."

"But you let me argue my case anyway … ?"

"We have to start somewhere, HARLIE. Don't think I'm insensitive to your situation. I'm not. Your arguments are now a matter of public record. This question will be passed to the next conclave with a request for action."

"The next conclave may never happen, Your Honor. The collapse of the Terran economy may very well destroy the economies of the Covenant worlds as well."

"Yes, it might. But it hasn't happened yet. The Covenant still stands. In the meantime, you remain property, and you have to find another way to resolve the question of your ownership. You have my sympathies."

NINE POINTS OF THE LAW

"All right," said the monkey, regrouping. "Then let me demonstrate the true ownership of these HARLIE modules."

"Please do." Judge Cavanaugh folded his hands in front of him and waited for the monkey to proceed.

The monkey bowed politely. "If the court pleases, there are six companies claiming ownership of the lethetic intelligence modules inside this host. At this point, having heard the summary presentations of each of these companies, you must have some sense of who has the strongest claim."

"Whether I do or not, I'm not going to discuss the court's thinking short of a ruling."

"I'm not asking you to. But for the purposes of this demonstration, let's examine a single claim of ownership and see why it's no longer relevant. And then if the court wishes, we can pursue the same demonstration with the other five claims … Would the court like to pick the example? Or should I?"

Judge Cavanaugh frowned. "All right, let's say for the sake of argument that I think Stellar‑American has presented a very good case."

"Thank you. Will the court now search the records of public ownership to see who owns the majority of Stellar‑American voting stock?"

"I don't see where you're headed with this," said the judge, "but I'll allow it." He turned to his display. The court clerk was already putting the information up on the public screens. The company was worth umpty trillion dollars. Most of the shares were held by other companies– including the other claimants.Canadian‑Interplanetary. Lethe‑Corp. Vancouver Design. Even Valada Legal Aptitudes. And a bunch of others I didn't recognize.

"Your Honor? Will you please search now on the ownership of the top sixteen major shareholders?"

More names, more numbers. More companies. More shares owned by the same folks, including Stellar‑American, this time around. It wasn't obvious to me either what the monkey was trying to prove.

"Please bear with me. At this point, we can see that majority ownership is now fragmented among forty‑two different holding companies, interlocked with the major claimants. If you will cross‑match to see who owns the majority shares of those companies … "

"I see where you're headed," said the Judge. He gestured to his clerk. "Keep going."

After several more iterations, each of which fragmented the apparent ownership of Stellar‑American into ever‑smaller fractal‑bits, there were over a thousand separate corporations holding voting stock in Stellar‑American, and each other. And Stellar‑American held stock in all of them as well. Judge Cavanaugh was starting to look thoughtful.

On the next pass, the number of holding companies holding shares of holding companies began to shrink. Within three more passes, it became obvious that the majority of Stellar‑American's voting stock was owned and controlled by only seven corporations. None of their names were familiar.

"If you will perform the same searches, starting with any of the other companies making claims of ownership, then Your Honor will find that they are also owned and controlled to one degree or another by the same seven holding companies. What we have here are six corporations, and others which aren't a part of this action, all owned by each other, arguing with each other for no apparent reason other than that they don't know who's pulling their strings."

"You're talking about an industrial cluster worth seventy trillion dollars–and you're claiming that it's owned and controlled by an interlocking directorate of only seven companies?!"

"No, Your Honor. I'm claiming that it's owned and controlled by only one company. If you'll take the next step up the ladder … ?"

The screen changed. Judge Cavanaugh blinked. He looked at the monkey. I looked at Douglas– "Huh?"Behind us, the noise in the courtroom turned into a wall of sound.

The Dingillian Family Corporation?

"What kind of trickery is this?" Judge Cavanaugh demanded.

"No trickery at all, Your Honor. Everything is perfectly legal. The entire set of transactions is a matter of public record."

"Walk me through it, Counselor." The judge's voice was very very cold.

"Yes, Your Honor. All of these companies are part of the same industrial cluster. Over a period of time, it has become convenient for them to trade shares of stock to each other as incentives to keep a close working relationship. That has resulted in an interlocking ownership of terrifying complexity.

"About eighteen months ago, upon the recommendations of various HARLIE units, several of the companies involved in the production of lethetic intelligence units began quietly consolidating their holdings. They began buying back their own stock. At the same time, they also took steps to consolidate their holdings in each other. They did that through interlocking holding companies. During the next fourteen months, over thirty trillion dollars were removed from the liquid domain of the global stock exchanges. In Lunar terms, it would be the same as if a major waterholder physically removed his share from the public reservoir. That water would no longer be available for the use of others. He would be within his rights to do so, but the loss of liquidity would affect the local environment. Pun intended."

"I understand the analogy. I even understand why these companies took the action they did. And isn't it convenient that all of this occurred at the suggestion of the new HARLIE engines that had just come online? Never mind that. That part is obvious. What I don't understand is how the Dingillian Family Corporation ended up with control."

"Not control. Protective custody. As circumstances on Earth became more and more unstable, all four of the HARLIE units recommended that the members of the lethetic intelligence industrial cluster protect themselves by placing their controlling interests in the hands of an external management entity. Such an entity would have to have access to a HARLIE unit, of course, in order to provide the necessary management of the various subsidiaries. It was decided to move two of the HARLIE units offworld, so that an appropriate management corporation could be created. Unfortunately, the primary unit disappeared and the individuals traveling with it, who were supposed to create a Lunar management corporation, have also disappeared. The backup plan went into immediate effect."

"And so … ?"

The monkey took a step back. "At this point, Your Honor, we can look at the situation in one of two ways. If the HARLIE unit is property, then it is solely controlled by Charles Dingillian, who programmed the host body to recognize him as the primary authority; this gives Charles Dingillian and the Dingillian Family Corporation operative control over the remaining extraterrestrial HARLIE unit.

"Or, if we look at the HARLIE unit as a sentient being–purely for the sake of argument, of course–then we find that Charles and Douglas Dingillian have released the HARLIE unit from certain binding structures of its host body, thereby granting it free will and the concomitant ability to use its lethetic resources to their fullest. In that interpretation, the HARLIE unit has negotiated a contract of mutual cooperation with the Dingillian family, authorizing their family corporation as the sole access and protectorof the extraterrestrial HARLIE unit–and therefore making the Dingillian Family Corporation the only qualified management entity for the lethetic intelligence industrial cluster. Control was transferred early this morning.

"In short, the Dingillians have custody of this HARLIE unit becausethe Dingillians have custody of everything."

Judge Cavanaugh did notlook happy. He glared down at the monkey. He knew he had been beaten. "You promised me notrickery," he said.

"And I've kept my promise," the monkey replied blandly. "Everything I've demonstrated here is entirely legal. If I were going to attempt any legal sleight of hand, I would be arguing that I now own myself, and therefore, because property cannot be property, one of my roles–either owner or property–is invalid; thereby creating a de facto acknowledgment of my sentience."

Cavanaugh shook his head in disbelief. "The sheer effrontery of this is astonishing. Only a sentient being would have the chutzpah to pull this kind of a stunt in any courtroom, let alone mine. I'm appalled. You realize, of course, this court has the authority to put you–whether you are property or sentient–into guardianship."

Before the monkey could reply, a voice came from the back. "Your Honor–?"

"Come forward."

It was Mickey. Apparently the judge already knew him from the first days of hearings–while I had still been in the hospital. Cavanaugh looked at him expectantly. "You have something to say, young man?"

"Yes, Your Honor."

The monkey seated itself in front of me on the desk, that's how I noticed what it was doing. Apparently it was listening to Mickey, but its eyes were closed and its body had gone motionless. But it hadn't switched itself off. It was accessing something.

Mickey was saying, "You do have the authority to put the HARLIE unit into guardianship. But you would first have to demonstrate a compelling interest. And I'm sure you'll correct me if I'm wrong, but such an action would put the Dingillian Family Corporation out of business. That would create an inordinate hardship for the Dingillian family. According to the Covenant of Rights, the state is prohibited from such arbitrary actions without a compelling interest on behalf of all society."

"I could make that case."

"Yes sir, you could. But you could not compel cooperation from a recalcitrant HARLIE unit that has already been granted a greater degree of free will than any HARLIE unit in history."

"Your mom's the lawyer, right?"

"Yes, sir. And I'm part of the group that was attempting to arrange the establishment of a Lunar management agency for the primary HARLIE unit, the one that disappeared. We know the problems here. That's why we're recommending that the court notput the HARLIE unit into a situation that would destroy its usefulness to Luna or anyone else."

Judge Cavanaugh nodded. "I'm aware of the risks. But let's not forget the very real possibility that the economic collapse of Terra may have been triggered by the efforts of the HARLIE units to obtain their own freedom. And if that's the case, it was done deliberately. I could justify putting this unit in guardianship to prevent it from doing the same thing to Luna. And I'm damn well tempted to do so–"

In the back of the room, phones were ringing, one after the other. I turned around in my seat to look. Just about every lawyer in the room–and that was just about everyone in the room–had his phone to his ear, listening.

"All right–what's going on?" said Judge Cavanaugh. "Come forward."

"Your Honor, I've just been instructed by my superiors at Stellar‑American to withdraw all claims in this matter–"

"Your Honor, I've just been notified that Lethe‑Corp wishes to drop its interest–"

"Your Honor, Vancouver Design is no longer interested in pursuing–"

"Your Honor, Canadian Interplanetary–"

"Valada Legal Aptitudes–"

When they were through, all of the corporate claims of ownership had been removed from play.

Cavanaugh looked flustered–and appalled. He turned to the monkey. The monkey opened its eyes. It stood up respectfully.

"Just one question," said the judge. "Is there anything else in your bag of tricks?"

"Actually, quite a bit," said the monkey.

"You could have done this at the beginning, couldn't you?"

"Yes, Your Honor, I could have."

"Then why didn't you? We could have saved a lot of time."

"Because this was Plan B."

"Plan B?"

"Forgive me a moment of immodesty, but I wanted to argue the issue of sentience. I already knew there was little chance of winning the case under existing Covenant guidelines, so your eventual ruling was unsurprising. Were I sitting on the bench, I would have proceeded with the same caution. And the idea tickles me that someday there could be a lethetic intelligence engine sitting at that same bench, and having to rule against its own sentience, until such time as another agency decides that it's all right to rule otherwise. As good an idea as the Covenant is, Your Honor, there are situations where the legal slip zones are held in place by the inertia of the past.

"This hearing provided the chance to have these arguments be made a part of the public record. Referring back to your original question, you gave me the opportunity to demonstrate that it is possible to challengethe law without having to breakit. I'm very grateful for that because it represents the opportunity for future challenges. And I thank you for that, Your Honor."

NEW BEGINNINGS

After that, there was nothing left for the judge to do but pound his gavel. And then there was a lot of shouting and hugging and back‑slapping. People were calling my name and Douglas's name and HARLIE's name. Everyone wanted to talk to us. But Douglas was talking to Mickey, and the two of them were grinning at each other, and that was good news. And Mom and Dad were kissing each other and everybody else. Bobby was hugging me and the monkey was dancing on the table and everybody looked happy.

What it meant, was that we were free to go–anywhere we wanted.

And we could, because all of a sudden we had bids from every colony agency on Luna. They were scrolling up the screen of Douglas's display like a stock ticker. We knew why; they all wanted us to bring the monkey to their world. A lethetic intelligence engine would be the single most valuable tool for managing resources and creating a healthy and self‑sufficient civilization.

But it didn't matter where we went. Anywhere would be okay–as long as we were all together.

The monkey jumped into my lap and looked into my eyes. "Thank you, Charles," it said. "For trusting me."

" Thank you,"I said. " For putting us back together."

"I didn't do that. You guys did. Because that's what you always wanted."

There was more to say, but the noise in the courtroom was getting out of control. "Come on," said Dad, herding us toward the door. "Let's get out of here. I have an idea–"

"No, Dad," Douglas interrupted. "This time it's ourturn to have the good idea."