Because It Is My Blood

XVIII I ATTEND A SCHOOL DANCE; NO ONE GETS SHOT

IN EXCHANGE FOR ANOTHER modestly sized bribe to the Campaign to Reelect Bertha Sinclair, Leo was given a seven-month sentence to the Hudson River Psychiatric Facility and two years of probation. He’d be out in time for Thanksgiving.

The third Saturday in April, Mr. Kipling, Daisy Gogol, Noriko, and I drove Leo there. He kissed his wife (wife!), waved to the rest of us, and that was that. Noriko cried the whole three-hour trip back. We tried to comfort her but she spoke almost no English, and we spoke no Japanese, so I doubt we were much help.

Coincidentally, that evening was prom. I hadn’t wanted to go, but Win had convinced me that we should, if only to redeem the previous year’s disaster. “Do you think they’ll even let me on campus?” I had asked him. He reminded me that technically I had not been expelled this last time.

I had not bothered to shop for a dress so I went digging around in Nana’s and my mother’s old clothes. I picked out a navy blue dress with capped sleeves, a high neckline, and a low back. I thought the dress fit well, but upon seeing me, Noriko screamed, “No!”

“No?” I asked.

“Bad,” she said as she unzipped the back. “Old lady.”

Noriko went into Leo’s room and returned with a white dress. The dress was covered in lace and might have been a decent length on Noriko, but would be short on me. I would look like an insane bride. “You wear this,” Noriko said. She was smiling. It was the first time she had smiled all day, and I thought of my promise to Leo to take care of his wife. I really didn’t care about the matter anyway so I agreed to put on the dress.

I looked in the mirror. The dress was a bit tight on top, but otherwise, it fit surprisingly well.

Noriko came up behind me to adjust the sash, which tied in the back. “So pretty,” Noriko said.

I shook my head. Natty came out of her room to examine me. “You look…”—Natty paused—“mad but attractive. Attractive mad.” She kissed me on the cheek. “Win’s going to love it.”

Win met me at the apartment. He attached an orchid corsage to my wrist. I waited for him to make a joke about my crazy dress but he didn’t seem to notice that anything was amiss. “You look beautiful,” Win said. “Let’s hope no one gets shot this year. It’ll be hard to get blood out of that dress.”

“Technically, I think it’s still too soon for that kind of joke,” I told him.

“Oh.” He asked, “When will be the right time?”

“Probably never,” I told him. “Interesting jacket choice, by the way.” The jacket was white with black piping. Summery. Tacky.

“By ‘interesting,’ you mean you don’t approve? Because people in glass houses, by which I mean people going to prom dressed like brides, shouldn’t—”

“I didn’t say that. It’s, um, unexpected.”

He said that his old tux jacket had gotten misplaced at the hospital the year before. I told him I was pretty sure it had been cut off him. “That explains that then,” Win said. “This jacket’s my dad’s. He had white-tie and black-tie options. I picked white so no one will mistake me for anyone else.”

At prom, my classmates seemed pleased to see me and the administration tolerated me. The theme was “The Future,” but the organizing committee’s world-building skills were lacking, and they hadn’t really come up with a way to depict said theme in decorative terms. There was a handful of decorations with reflective surfaces and clocks, and a large digital banner that said WHERE WILL YOU BE IN 2104? Their vision of the future was vague at best, and I found the whole thing rather anxiety-producing. I had no idea where I’d be next year, let alone twenty years from now. Truthfully, the first answer to occur to me upon reading that banner was, Dead. In 2104, I’ll probably be dead.

I was interrupted from my morbid thoughts by Scarlet. She was nearing eight months pregnant, and she looked pretty and miserable in her huge pink dress. She had come alone. Keeping her company was another tactic Win had used to convince me to go to this ridiculous dance in the first place.

“Annie, I love the dress!” Of course she did. Scarlet and Noriko would probably get along famously once I introduced them. Scarlet kissed me, and Win went to get us drinks. “I’m so glad you made it. Did Leo get to Albany all right?”

I nodded. “How are you?” I asked.

“Awful,” she said. “I probably shouldn’t have come. There’s nothing sadder than a massive pregnant girl at prom. I hate what I’m wearing, and I’m too unwieldy to dance.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Well, no one wants to dance with me except Arsley anyway.”

I told her that I would dance with her, but Scarlet shook her head. “We aren’t twelve anymore, Anya.”

“Don’t feel too sorry for yourself. Headmaster keeps shooting me awful looks, and this ‘future’ theme is making me nervous,” I said.

Scarlet laughed halfheartedly.

Win returned with drinks. “I’ll dance with you,” Win said to Scarlet.

“What am I? That spinster aunt everyone takes pity on?” Scarlet asked in mock horror.

“No. She hates dancing.” Win indicated me. “And you’re the knocked-up girl I’m taking pity on. Come on.” Win offered Scarlet his hand. “Seriously, it would be nice to dance with someone I don’t have to cajole.”

“I should throw this at you,” Scarlet said to Win as she handed me her drink. I watched them make their way out to the dance floor.

Even as pregnant as she was, Scarlet still moved pretty well. I watched them with some degree of amusement though I could not help but feel wistful. I looked at Scarlet, and the size of her belly reminded me of the whole year I’d missed while I’d been … Well, you know what I’d been doing. Let’s just say, the year I’d missed while I’d been otherwise engaged. I was still marveling at the bittersweetness of it all when Gable Arsley sat down in the chair next to me.

“Anya,” Gable greeted me.

I nodded and tried not to look at him. As with animals in the wild, I hoped that if I didn’t make eye contact, Gable would go away.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Gable said.

“I was invited,” I said.

“I didn’t mean any offense,” Gable said. “I … You have to talk to Scarlet for me.”

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, then raised my eyebrow. “Why in the world would I ever do that?”

“Because she’s carrying my baby! Because she is being unreasonable.” He paused. “I know if she thought you approved she might forgive me.”

I shook my head. “I don’t approve, Arsley. You sold pictures of me. And that was just your latest move in a long line of offenses.”

“I only did that because I needed the money,” Gable protested.

“As if that makes it okay.”

Gable grabbed my hand.

“Don’t touch me,” I said as I wrested my hand from his. “Seriously, don’t.”

Gable took my hand again. I could feel his metal fingertips through his glove.

“I don’t want a scene here.” I took my hand back again.

“You have to make Scarlet marry me,” Gable said insanely.

“I can’t do that.”

“Tell her you’ve forgiven me!”

“But I haven’t, Arsley.”

Arsley slumped back into his chair. He crossed his arms. “I could still sue you, you know. I wish I had. Then I’d never have to work again. And I’d have loads of money to take care of Scarlet and the baby.”

“How noble of you. Listen, Gable. If you really want to sue someone, you should sue Sophia Bitter. She was the one responsible for the poisonings.”

“Sophia Bitter?” Gable asked. “Who’s that?”

Win and Scarlet returned to the table. “Hello, Arsley,” Win said in a hard voice.

“Is he bothering you?” Scarlet asked me.

It was adorable the way my friends thought that Gable Arsley could be anything other than an annoyance to me now. Strapped to my thigh, under Noriko’s outrageous dress, was my favorite souvenir of Mexico.

Gable got up and limped back to whatever corner he had come from.

A slower song came on, and Scarlet insisted that Win and I dance at least once. “It’s senior prom, you guys!”

On the dance floor, Win pulled me close to him and briefly, I could imagine what this whole year might have been like if everything had been different.

I felt him stiffen as his thigh pressed into my machete.

“Do you always have to have that with you?” Win asked.

I felt myself blush. “I’m sorry. But this is me, Win.”

Win nodded. “I was only teasing. I know that.” He brushed a curl off my forehead.

“It was the machete or Daisy Gogol,” I joked. “No one is shooting my boyfriend at this year’s prom.”

Win tapped the machete through my dress. “I wondered why you were so insistent that we come in through the back.”

“Metal detector,” I said.

“Well, I do appreciate this. I’d like to be in your life a very long time and that’ll be somewhat easier to do if I’m alive.”

The song dissolved into a faster song, at which point Win agreed that we had both suffered through enough of prom. Scarlet was planning to spend the night at my place so we went to fetch her before going outside to catch the crosstown bus home.

Outside, there were many boys in black jackets, but mine was the only one in white.