Arthur

SEVEN

Myrddin was not at Caer Edyn when we arrived. 'He left seven days ago,' Ectorius reported. 'I think he was going back to Caer Melyn, but I am not certain. He did not tell anyone where he was going. I offered to send an escort with him, but he would not.'

Arthur wondered at this, but Myrddin is his own man and no one can ever tell what he is thinking, let alone what he will do next. Whatever it is, this much is certain: it will be the thing least expected.

'That is unfortunate,' replied Arthur, somewhat disappointed. 'I would have him share in the victory feast.'

The Duke was inclined to let the matter rest there, but Peileas would not. 'Lord Arthur, I must go to him.'

'Why, Peileas?'

'He may need my help.' Beyond that, Peileas could make no answer. But I remembered Myrddin's strange behaviour at Lot's court and I, too, sensed something of the apprehension he felt.

'Of course,' replied Arthur slowly, gazing at Peileas intently, 'if you think there is cause.'

Peileas was not often insistent. He became so now. 'I do think so, lord.'

'Then go, and God go with you.' Arthur said. 'Choose six to accompany you, however. These hills are hostile yet. Better still, take one of the ships; it will be faster.'

The seven left as soon as fresh horses could be found and provisions gathered and stowed aboard the ship. I watched them go, feeling sorry for the warriors who would not now share in the feast they so richly deserved. But Arthur saw to it that the six who accompanied Peileas received gold armbands and knives for their portion, and they all departed happily.

The feast lasted three days and the battle was recounted in tales of valour and in song by Rhys, Arthur's harper. Though I still thought the hunting horn – which he so nobly sounded on the battlefield – more appropriate to his skill, I had to admit that he had improved his art by a fair measure. Indeed, to my surprise I found it no longer annoyed me to listen to the lad. At least, I could listen to him longer without becoming annoyed.

Ah, but he was no Myrddin Emrys.

The other kings had their harpers with them, too, so we suffered no lack of vaunting praise in our ears. Good Ectorius' brown beer and rich golden mead flowed freely. We drank up his entire winter's supply, I suspect. But it was to good cause.

I like a feast as well as the next man, but after three days I began to weary of celebration. This is rare, I know, but once and again I found myself wandering down among the ships – all of them tethered at the tideline in rows. Some rode at anchor further out in the Fiorth. Others had been beached, so that they could be put to better repair.

At dusk the fourth day, I was again drawn to the shipyard. The clean, sunwashed sky shone a burnished bronze, and the fresh sea wind blew away the smoke of Ector's hall that lingered in my hair and clothing. The solace of the shore was broken by the sharp cries of the wading birds that worked the mudflats for their suppers.

Arthur found me on the deserted deck of one ship whose keel was sunk in the slime of the tidewash. 'Hail, Bedwyr!' he called, slogging through the muck towards me. 'What do you here, brother?'

'I am thinking what it will be like to swing sword and heft spear on the rolling deck of a ship,' I replied, offering my hand as he pulled himself up over the side. 'And I am thinking it will take some getting used to.'

'No worse than a horse,' he observed, and laughed suddenly. 'Do you remember the shameful thing we did to Cunomor?'

I did remember. No more than twigs, we were just beginning weapons training with some older boys – one of them an insufferable braggart of thirteen summers named Cunomor ap Cynyr, the son of a small king in Rheged. After enduring this pompous ass and his bloated arrogance for a month or more, Arthur and I tampered with his tack and weapons, so that the heads fell off all his spears, and his saddle slipped sideways on his horse as he cantered round the practice field. He was made to appear so ridiculous that he could not hold his head erect all the rest of the summer.

'Poor old Cunomor,' I remarked, as Arthur's words brought the image of that red-faced youth to mind. 'I wonder if we will look as foolish trying to fight in these ships as he looked trying to maintain his toplofty dignity on that sliding saddle?'

'Worse!' laughed Arthur. It was good to see him happy. Arthur seemed to have come once more to himself- as Myrddin had said he would. Although the uncommon gravity of character persisted, it had sunk beneath the surface somewhat. He was building himself anew, I suppose, and the holy vision of the Kingdom of Summer was his solid foundation.

As if to confirm my observation he said, 'But we will prevail, Bedwyr. We must. Or Britain is lost – and much else besides.'

'I do not doubt it, Bear.' I turned my eyes away from his to view the wide, shimmering sweep of Muir Guidan. It was peaceful and good, with the soft light slowly fading in the deepening sky.

'We will leave soon,' Arthur said, scanning the horizon with me. 'After Lugnasadh.'

That was not many days hence. 'So? But, I thought you wanted to see the shipyards restored.'

'Ector has everything well in hand. Lot has agreed to stay on and oversee the building of the first ships. I am needed elsewhere. We have tribute to collect and horses to break before winter.'

'The tribute!' I had forgotten all about that. 'I would rather fight Picti than collect tribute!'

'We cannot do the one without the other,' Arthur said.

'Then you do not believe the peace we have made with Baldulf will hold?'

The Duke shook his head slightly. 'No, we have not seen the last of Baldulf. And as for the Scot! and Picti – when did they ever heed a treaty?'

'We should have killed them and been done with it.'

'They would return in any case. This way they may learn something. Anyway, if we have to fight again I would prefer an enemy I know. But take heart, Bedwyr, the fighting is over for this year.'

'You are certain of that?'

'Yes.' He grinned and slapped me on the back. 'And we have won glory and honour – not to mention very much gold. We have done well.'

A few days after the autumn festival of Lugnasadh, we sailed for Caer Melyn with the morning tide. Arthur bade each battlechief take three or four ships under our command so that we could begin learning that subtle craft. Saints and angels, but they were more unwieldy than whales! It was like leading a warband mounted on pigs.

Arthur thought to serve warning that Britain's coasts were guarded once more, so we took our time, calling in at various ports along the way and taking every opportunity to allow our presence to be felt. We did learn something of the command of ships and collected tribute from the coastal reahns as well, so it was time well spent.

Nevertheless, upon reaching Abertaff, I was glad to be quit of the pitching beast and set foot on solid ground again. We unloaded the horses and rode to the caer, tired, full of the pleasure of homecoming, eager to settle before the hearth with a jar and a fresh warm loaf.

As we entered the yard – oh, the greeting we received from those who had stayed behind! – Arthur became uneasy. 'What is wrong, Artos?' I asked. The loud halloos still filled our ears as the warriors greeted kith and kin.

He glanced quickly around as one expecting to see his hall in nuns, or a roof aflame. 'Myrddin is not here.'

'No doubt he is inside, pouring out the beer,' I ventured.

'He would be at the gates if he were here." Arthur threw himself from the saddle and rushed into the hall. 'Where is Myrddin?' he demanded of the steward, a gaunt stick of a man, named Ulfin.

'The Emrys is gone, Duke Arthur,' Ulfin replied.

'Where?'

'He did not consult me, my lord.'

'Did he say when he will return?'

'He did not,' replied Ulfin stiffly. 'You know how he is sometimes.'

Then where is Pelleas?' Arthur's voice rose.

'Lord Pelleas came here but left at once. He went in search of the Emrys, I believe.'

Alarm tingled along my spine. 'When did he leave?' I asked, thinking that wherever they had gone, one or the other should have returned by now.

Ulfin cocked his head in calculation. 'Just after Lug-nasadh, my lord. A few days after. And he went alone.'

Arthur dismissed the steward and turned to me. 'I am not liking this, Bedwyr. Something is wrong. I am going to find them.'

'I will go, Artos,' I said. 'You are needed here. The kings will want an accounting of the northern battles.'

The Duke hesitated, fighting the logic. 'Where will you begin?'

'At Ynys Avallach,' I replied. 'Fret not, Bear, I will fetch them back before you know I am gone.'

'Take Gwalcmai with you,' Arthur replied, acquiescing at last. 'Or Bors – both, if you prefer.'

'Gwalcmai will serve.'

One night's sleep with a proper roof over my head, and I found myself in the saddle and on the trail once more. We departed in the grey dawn with the sun a vague rumour in the east, striking off for Ynys Avallach away to the south. To hasten our journey, I piloted one of our ships across Mor Hafren. Though another sea voyage was the last thing I would have chosen, it saved a good many days in the saddle. And I proved myself no mean pilot.

On making landfall, we rode with all haste, stopping only for water and food, and then moving on again without rest. In this way, we arrived at the Tor at dusk the second day from starting out. Evening mist rose from the lake and marshland round about, encircling the high-peaked Tor which poked through the vaporous white fog like an airy island rising above a flat sea of cloud. The steep green hill topped by its graceful palace seemed an enchanted realm – one of those Otherworldly mounds that appear and vanish as they will in the sight of bewildered men.

Now, as I have said, I had never been to the Glass Isle – though from both Myrddin and Pelleas I had heard about it since I was old enough to hear about anything. I felt I knew the place. And I experienced the uncanny sensation of returning after long absence to a home I had never seen before. The druids have a word for this, I think. I do not know what it is.

But, as we climbed the twisting path to the Fisher King's palace in the crimson and purple sunset, I found myself remembering small particulars as if I had grown up there – even to the lark song falling from the fiery sky high above the Tor. Gwalcmai was agog, with eyes the size of shield bosses as he gawked up at the soaring walls and towers. The polished gates – good old familiar gates I had entered a thousand times, and never once before – stood open, and we rode in to be met by the servants of King Avallach.

'They all look like Pelleas!' observed Gwalcmai, in hushed exclamation. 'Are all the Faery so made?'

'Why do you think they are called Fair Folk?' I asked him. Still, it was no less a marvel to me. While we had grown used to Pelleas and knew the truth, seeing others of that race made me want to believe all the idle and ignorant tales told about them.

'Look at that one!' Gwalcmai all but shrieked, as we entered the hall. He was beside himself with excitement. But then, he was from the Orcades.

'Stop pointing! That is the Fisher King,' I hissed. 'Is it the stables you are wanting for your bed?'

King Avallach advanced, dressed all in scarlet satin with a wide belt of silver plates like fish scales, the dark curls of his hair and beard oiled and glistening. His handsome face wore a smile of welcome and his arms opened wide to receive us. Though he could not have known who we were, I felt the quick warmth of his joy.

'God be good to you,' said Avallach, in a voice that came from somewhere deep in his broad chest as from inside a hollow hill. 'Rest and be welcome, friends.'

'Hail, King Avallach, I give you good greeting!' I said, touching the back of my hand to my head in salute.

'Do you know me?' the Fisher King asked.

'We have never met, Lord Avallach. I know you in name and appearance only. Myrddin Emrys has told me of you.' At my mention of Myrddin, the king nodded. 'I come to you in the name of Arthur, Duke of Britain.'

'Yes, yes,' replied Avallach. 'You are friends of Arthur's?'

'I am Bedwyr ap Bleddyn of Rheged, and – '

'So at last I meet the renowned Bedwyr!' roared the great king in his delight. 'God's blessing on you, Bedwyr ap Bleddyn. Arthur has told me much about his sword-brother.'

'This is Gwalcmai ap Lot of Orcady,' I said, indicating the dumbstruck northerner beside me.

At this the Fisher King stiffened and his gaze narrowed; he regarded Gwalcmai as if he were a new kind of serpent, whose fangs had yet to be tried for poison. I wondered at this and then remembered what Myrddin had told me: Morgian, Queen of Air and Darkness, was Gwalcmai's grandmother. His kin!

Stupid! I groaned inwardly and kicked myself for the fool I was. Why, oh why, had I not realized this before now? I could not have chosen a worse companion for this journey!

'Welcome, Gwalcmai ap Lot,' intoned Avallach tersely.

I do not think Gwalcmai noticed his cool reception. I do not think he noticed anything at all – except the entrancing beauty of the woman approaching from across the hall. She had entered from behind Avallach and walked towards us purposefully.

I know that I have never seen a woman more fair in face and form. I know that I never shall see another the equal of the Lady of the Lake – for it was she. I knew her, as I had known Avallach, from Myrddin's descriptions. Oh, but his words did not tell the tenth part of her elegance and grace.

Her hair was long and golden, like sunlight falling on a spring-flowered lea. Her skin was white as the snowcrest on a bending bough, or rarest alabaster; and her lips were red as the petals of winter roses against the milky whiteness of her skin. She looked upon us with eyes the colour of forest pools, and just as calm. The delicate arch of her brows spoke of nobility and pride.

She wore a long tunic of sea-green silk, worked in the most wonderfully ornate filigree of red-gold, and over this a sleeveless mantle of russet, embroidered in gleaming silver. At her throat she wore a slender tore of braided gold, such as a Cymry queen would wear. But she was a queen, of course, or once had been.

'Truly, she is a goddess!' Gwalcmai croaked in a stricken whisper.

'She is Myrddin's mother, mind,' I told him, finding it difficult to credit the truth of it myself.

Charis came to me and kissed me on the cheek in greeting. 'May the peace of Christ be yours, Bedwyr,' she said, in a voice soft and low.

'You know me, lady?' I gasped, astonished that she should utter my name.

My features must have trumpeted my amazement, for the lady laughed nicely and said, 'How should I not?'

'But I have never been here before this moment,' I stammered.

'Not in the flesh, no,' Charis agreed. 'But you were the unseen spirit at Arthur's shoulder when he sojourned here last winter.'

'He spoke of me?'

'Oh, he spoke of you to be sure,' replied Avallach. 'If he spoke about nothing else, he waxed vocal of his brother Bedwyr.'

'That is how I knew you,' Charis said. 'And it is the same way you knew me – from my son, no doubt.' She turned her eyes to Gwalcmai, who stood entranced beside me.

'I present to you Gwalcmai ap Lot, of Orcady,' I said, nudging him in the ribs with my elbow. But it was no use, he gawked at her as if he were dull-witted and mute.

At the mention of his name, a change came over Charis – although I noticed no outward alteration of expression or demeanour. Yet I felt something flow out from her as a sudden rush of warmth directed at Gwalcmai. Looking him steadily in the eye, she placed a fair hand on either of his shoulders, put her face close to his and kissed him on both cheeks.

'May the peace of Christ be yours, Gwalcmai,' she said.

'And with you also, my lady,' he whispered, his cheeks blushing red as foxglove.

'You are welcome here,' she told him solemnly; then brightened at once and declared, 'Come, this is a pleasant end to a good day. We will sup together and you will tell me how my son has fared in the wider world since last I saw him.'

By this I knew that neither Myrddin nor Pelleas had stopped at the Glass Isle, and that our search must quickly continue.

We were conducted to a smaller chamber off the hall, where a long board had been set up with chairs around it. There was red wine in a crystal jar and cups of silver beside it. The wine was poured and we drank, and began to describe all that had happened since Myrddin and Arthur had visited Ynys Avallach last winter. And there was much to tell.

Gwalcmai picked at his food with his knife. Had he been a bird I know he would have eaten more heartily. But he sat limply in his chair and gazed at the Lady of the Lake, with such a rapt and insipid expression I wonder that she neither flew from his sight, nor shamed him with scornful laughter.

I was mightily grateful that I was not a maid that must endure his bland and sickly glances. But then, the lady Charis was twice the lady I would have been!

Despite Gwalcmai's bad manners, the evening passed agreeably – indeed, it seemed as if it fled like the too-brief melody of a nightingale. We slept that night on beds of finest linen over fresh-cut rushes, and I awoke the next morning thinking that no man ever slept better or more comfortably.

But awake I did, and when we had broken fast I uttered my regrets that we must continue our journey that very day. As I did not wish to alarm Charis – how could I live with myself if I caused that fairest lady pain! – I told her nothing of our search for Myrddin, but merely affirmed that we were about the Duke's business and must press on with all haste.

We made awkward farewells and soon were winding our way down the side of the Tor and across the causeway as the new day's light pearled the eastern horizon. 'Myrddin has not been here,' I told my companion. 'I feared as much.'

Gwalcmai started, as one awakening from a dream. He peered back over his shoulder at the looming Tor. 'Have you any idea where he would go?'

'To Llyonesse,' I answered, for the dread in my heart was growing and I remembered where and when I first had felt it: that day on the shore when Myrddin told me about Morgian.

I began to sense that where Morgian was to be found, that is where I would find Myrddin. Pelleas had guessed it too, and that is why he had been so anxious about Myrddin, and so eager to go after him.

'Where is this place Myrddin has gone – this Llyonesse?' wondered Gwalcmai.

His question swung me round to face him. 'You have never heard of it?' I asked.

'If I knew, I should not ask where it is,' he replied lightly, with innocence I judged genuine. 'Do you not know where it is?'

I stared at him hard and decided he was telling the truth, then turned back to the track before us. 'It is in the south; that is all I know.'

Llyonesse. This was the source of my fear, the touchstone of my deepest dread. I knew it now: Myrddin had gone to confront Morgian. Well, my path was clear before me. I must go to Llyonesse to find him.

We stopped at a small settlement not far from the Tor to ask the way, and were curtly told by the chief – while the people made the sign against evil behind their backs – to keep on south and west and I would find it… if that is what I desired.

I remember little of the journey. The days and nights were all one to me. It seemed as if we rode through a world gradually dying. Barren moorland stretched before us and the lonely wind moaned; at night it cried softly as it passed. With every laboured step the sense of futility and oppression increased. The weight/ The weight on my heart dragged at my spirit.

We came at last to a Fair Folk stronghold and my heart rose for a moment with the hope that we might find Myrddin, or at least hear word of his passing. To my dismay, the palace and fortress were deserted. I did not bother searching. There was nothing to be found – even the gorse had shrivelled and died.

In any event, Myrddin was not there. So we pressed on, following the coastline further south. Gwalcmai attempted to lift our spirits, but his songs died on the wind. No fair word could be uttered in that place.

For we passed through a wasted land: stunted, twisted trees; barren, rock-crusted hills and vacant hollows; stinking fens, vile bogs oozing like pus-filled wounds. In many places gaping rents had opened in the earth and these steamed with a noxious yellow mist that seeped along the trailways, obscuring the way so that we feared plunging headlong into one of the hell holes.

Nothing green showed. No bird called. No creature large or small made its home here any more. All was death and desolation – a ruined realm made hideous by the evil practised within its boundaries. It was beyond my imagining even to consider what might have caused such devastation. Whoever or whatever Morgian was, she apparently possessed a maleficent power above anything I might conceive.

Fear quickened like a viper in my breast, but I rode on, not caring any more what might happen to me. I prayed. I called upon the Great Good God to defend me. In silence I chanted the mighty psalms of strength and praise. I called down Jesu's grace upon that evil-blighted place.

Gwalcmai rode close beside me and we upheld one another. In whispered confidences I told him of Jesu, the Saviour God. And that son of Orcady believed. Whatever might happen to our bodies, our souls were safe in the Sure Strong Hand. There was some small comfort in that, at least.

Despite all, our steps grew slower, the way less clear. And then, when I thought we must abandon the track altogether, I saw a sea crag rising up just ahead, sharpsided, restless water surging around its jagged roots. Sea birds soared high above it and, strangely, many crows among them.

Carrion birds! By this I knew where Myrddin would be found. Alive or dead, I knew not, but our search had ended.

'Stay with the horses,' I told Gwalcmai. He made no reply, but dismounted and tethered the horses to a blasted stump. I left him sitting on the stump, with his drawn sword resting across his knees.

A prayer on my lips, I began the long climb up the rough headland, stopping to call out from time to time as I climbed. I expected no answer and heard none…

I found Myrddin perched on the topmost cliff, hunched upon a rock, his ragged cloak wrapped tightly round him though the day was stifling. Shattered scrags of heat-scarred stone lay heaped and toppled like ruins round about. He was alive, God be praised! And he turned his face towards me as I scrambled to him.

I beheld his face and nearly fell into the sea. His eyes – sweet Jesu! The eyes in his head were dead embers, cold, extinguished, the once-bright lustre of those matchless golden eyes leached white as ash!

His brows were singed, his lips blistered and cracked, the skin over his cheeks burnt and peeling. His hair was ragged and matted with blackened blood.

'Myrddin!' I ran to him, sobbing, half with relief to find him alive at all, and half for pity at what had been done to him. 'What has happened to you? What has she done to you?' I gathered him in my arms, like a mother cradling a dying child.

When he spoke, his voice was a harsh, brittle whisper forced out with great effort. 'Bedwyr, you have come at last. I knew someone would come. I knew… I thought it would be Pelleas… '

Pelleas! What had happened to Pelleas? I scanned the cliffside, but saw no sign of anyone anywhere.

'I have been waiting… waiting… I knew Arthur would… send someone… to me… Where is Pelleas?'

The pitiful sound of that fine voice, now broken, brought tears to my eyes. 'Do not speak, Emrys. Please, rest you now. I will care for you.'

'It is well… she is gone… '

'Morgian?'

He nodded and licked his bruised lips. This started the blood seeping down his chin. He struggled to form the words.

'Please, Emrys,' I pleaded, weeping freely. 'Do not speak. Let us go from here.'

Myrddin clutched at my sleeve, and his dead white eyes wandered unseeing in his head. 'No… ' he rasped. 'All is well… she has fled… '

I did not at first credit what he was telling me. 'Gwalcmai is with me; we have horses. Let us bear you away from this hateful place. She may return.'

'She is gone… her power is broken. I have faced her… Morgian is beaten… gone… she is gone… ' He shivered and closed his eyes, leaning heavily against me. 'I am tired… so tired… '

Swoon or sleep, it was blessed relief to him. With difficulty I carried him on my shoulders over the rocks and down to where Gwalcmai waited with the horses.

Gwalcmai shuddered upon seeing Myrddin. 'What happened to him?' he asked in a horrified whisper.

'I do not know,' I answered, bending the truth as far as it would go. How could I tell him Morgian, his blood kin, had done this? 'When he wakes he may tell us.'

'Where is Pelleas, then?' he asked, lifting his head to regard the sea crag once more.

'Perhaps Pelleas was delayed elsewhere. We will pray that this is so.'

Night came too quickly to that blighted spit of land thrust out into the sea. We made a camp in one of the pocked hollows and Gwalcmai dragged in enough dead wood to keep the fire through to morning. I found water and made a broth with some of the herbs we had among our provisions. This I heated in my clay bowl and roused Myrddin, so that he could drink it.

He seemed the better for his sleep, and drank down all the broth and asked for some of the hard bread we had. He ate it in silence, then lay back and slept once more.

I watched him through the night, but he slept soundly. Towards sunrise I slept while Gwalcmai watched, awakening a little while later. Myrddin stirred as we were making ready to leave.

'You must help me, Bedwyr,' he rasped, and I noticed his voice was somewhat stronger.

'I will do whatever you ask, lord.'

'Make some mud and bind my eyes.' I hesitated and he flung out a hand to me. 'Do as I say!'

With the water and clay I made some mud and daubed it over his eyes as Myrddin directed me. Then, tearing a length from my tunic, I bound his eyes, mud and all. Myrddin felt his bandages with his fingers and pronounced my work well done.

In this way we began the journey back – blind Myrddin sitting the saddle, erect, silent – Gwalcmai and I taking it in turn leading his horse, making our long slow return to the land of the living.