29

United States of America

Columbus, Georgia

St. Francis Hospital Visitors’ Area

Local Time 0114 Hours

Joey’s heart hammered as he stood at the door and stared at Jenny McGrath sleeping in one of the chairs against the back wall. The room was quiet except for the low rumble of late-night television reruns. Muted lighting barely revealed the other people sitting around the room.

Jenny slept under a Windbreaker and looked like a kid. That reminded Joey of the way his little brother, Chris, would curl up and drowse whenever he was tired. Thinking about Chris hurt. There was something about having a little brother that had made him feel invincible, like not everything was all about him.

But that was gone now. So much was gone.

He hadn’t intended to end up at the hospital. It had just happened. He’d started riding his bike at seven o’clock, trying not to think about the rec hall at eight and Bones and Zero looking for him. But after finding his mom at the hospital and seeing Goose on TV, it seemed as if all Joey’s problems were crashing in on him at once.

He hadn’t gone home, just kept riding, and now here he was.

He’d known Jenny was at the hospital with her dad, and he hadn’t exactly meant to track her down, but somehow his bike had just sort of found its way here. And now he found he really wanted to talk to her. Goose was over in Turkey, right in the middle of the fighting, already dead for all Joey knew. His mom was focused on that and on all the kids in their house. And then there was the problem of Bones and Zero and the rest, out to kill him. That wasn’t going to go away. Joey had seen enough true crime shows and detective movies to know that. He was a witness. If he had an attack of conscience, he’d name them all.

They’d never understand that all he wanted was to go free.

If there were just some way to keep the nightmares of the shopkeeper’s death out of his head, Joey thought everything would be okay. It was an accident. That was all. Just a bad accident.

Only he knew it wasn’t. He could fool himself for a little while, but that didn’t last long.

Suddenly he felt eyes on him. When he glanced at Jenny, he saw that she was staring at him.

“Joey.”

He didn’t hear her. He watched his name form on her lips. He knew he should walk over to her, but he couldn’t invade that room with his problems. Those people were in there trying to rest, trying to stay strong enough to support someone they cared about who was going through something threatening.

You don’t belong here, he told himself. You need to go. He tried to leave. He honestly did. He willed everything inside him to leave.

Instead, Jenny got up from the chair and walked over to him.

“Are you okay?” she asked in a quiet voice. She pulled her hair from the corner of her mouth and studied him.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“What are you doing here?”

Joey shrugged and hated the reflex action immediately. Shrugging was dumb and immature. But he hadn’t learned what else he was supposed to do.

“Is your mom all right?”

“She’s fine.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I was in the neighborhood, that’s all.”

Jenny glanced at the clock on the wall. “In the neighborhood. At one in the morning?”

The way she said it, her words sounded like an accusation.

“Look,” Joey said, “if this is a bad time-”

“It’s not a bad time.”

“Good. That’s good.” He stared at her, remembering how cute she’d looked out on the dance floor the night of all the weirdness.

“That’s really good.”

She waited.

“So how’s your dad?” he asked.

“The same. Nothing’s changed.”

“He’s gonna be okay,” Joey said automatically.

“How do you know?”

Joey shrugged again before he could stop himself. “I just do.” He was afraid Jenny was going to be mad at him.

“Then you know more than the doctors,” she said.

“Doctors don’t know everything.”

Jenny looked into his eyes. “You want to talk?”

“I don’t know. You feel like talking?”

“Sure.”

“That’s good.” Joey nodded in relief. He didn’t know what he would have done if she’d said no.

“But we can’t talk here,” Jenny said. “People are trying to sleep.”

“Yeah. I see. Want to grab a coffee somewhere?”

“Cafeteria’s closed.”

“We could go out.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to leave the hospital. In case… something changes.”

“Okay.” Joey glanced up and down the hall.

“I know a place we can talk.” Jenny reached out, took him by the hand, and led him down the hall.

Local Time 0124 Hours

“The chapel?” Joey glanced around the room.

“It’s quiet. Usually this time of morning there isn’t anyone here.”

No one occupied the room. Jenny pulled Joey into motion and got him seated in the back row. The light was dim. Joey sat beside her. She didn’t let go of his hand. He was glad for the physical contact, but the sensation made him feel weak and vulnerable, and he hated that.

“So,” Jenny said.

Joey looked at her.

“You just happened to be in the neighborhood,” Jenny prompted.

“Yeah.”

“Want to tell me why you just happened to be in the neighborhood?” Joey thought about it for a moment. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“What’s keeping you awake?”

He thought about his answer for a moment, then shrugged.

“Stuff.”

“Want to talk about that ‘stuff ’?”

“Not really.”

Jenny leaned back in her chair and wrapped herself in the Windbreaker. She closed her eyes and breathed regularly. For a minute Joey thought she’d gone back to sleep.

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” Joey whispered.

“You try talking to your mom about it?”

Joey grimaced. “I’d have to take a number. Besides that, this isn’t something I can talk to my mom about. She’d freak.”

“Then talk to me.”

“I can’t.”

Jenny sighed. “Then don’t talk to me.”

“I’m not trying to make you mad.”

“I’m not getting mad.”

Joey felt even more guilt. “I’m messing this up.”

“Messing what up?”

“I just came down here to spend some time with you. I just… wanted to be with you.” Joey watched her, wondering how she was going to take that.

“I’m glad you did. It gets lonely around here. The nurses all mean well, but being here doesn’t even come close to normal.”

“I don’t think anything is normal anymore.” Joey felt the solid warmth of her hand in his. It felt good. “I’m scared that it never will be again.”

“Me too.”

“My mom’s been talking a lot lately about the Bible. About the end times. I gotta tell you, it’s freaking me out. I mean, Mom always had an interest in church. We didn’t always go, and she didn’t always agree with whatever the pastor was saying, but it was there. Like she knew we were supposed to go. But I didn’t really get anything out of it. I don’t think she did either.”

“I think,” Jenny said, “that if your mom is right, that’s exactly why we were left behind. We didn’t try harder to understand what God had planned for us. I know I didn’t. If I thought about God, it was generally when my dad went on a binge or got hurt or got sick. When I couldn’t take care of him, I asked God to do it for me. I don’t think that’s really a relationship. I mean, if you had a friend who constantly just asked you for things, and all you did was give, you wouldn’t think you had a very good friendship, would you?”

“No.” Guilt ate at Joey. What Jenny was describing wasn’t just his relationship with God. It was a lot like the relationship he’d had lately with his mom and Goose.

“I think that’s what it’s about,” Jenny said. “Your mom says there’s going to be seven more years that we can exist on this world before God comes back. During that time, we’re supposed to figure out our relationship with Him, find ways to get closer to Him.”

“Yeah. But that’s hard.”

“What?”

“Believing God really cares. If He really cared about me, about having a relationship with me, I wouldn’t be in all the trouble I’m in now.” Too late, Joey realized he’d said more than he’d intended to.

“What trouble?” Jenny asked.

He tried not to tell her. He wanted to hold back and be strong. More than that, he was afraid that once he told her, Jenny would feel compelled to tell someone else. The police. Or his mother.

Instead, when he finished, while he wiped the tears from his face and felt ashamed and guilty and scared, Jenny just sat there. She didn’t look at him and she didn’t say a word.

Finally she asked, “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” His voice was thin and hoarse.

“You said they came looking for you?”

“Yeah. They’re at the post.”

“Are they looking for you now?”

“I don’t know.” Joey resisted the impulse to shrug. “Maybe they came there because they heard the fort was offering shelter to kids. Maybe Bones spotting me was just bad luck. I seem to have a lot of that lately.”

Jenny squeezed his hand. “You can’t just ignore them. They’re not going to go away. Not if they’re afraid you’re going to tell on them.”

“I know.”

“You could go to the police.”

“They’d lock me up, Jenny. According to the law, I’m as guilty of murdering that man as Zero is. He made us all murderers when he pulled that trigger.” Joey shook his head. “I couldn’t handle being locked up. I’d rather kill myself.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“It’s true,” he whispered. “And maybe that’s how this is supposed to work out.”

“I don’t believe that.”

Jenny’s words made Joey feel hopeful. For just a moment. Then reality set in again. She would tell him that. She had to. It’s what he would have told her if their roles had been reversed.

“There’s something else,” Joey said. “I heard Mom’s trying to fix it so that the families of the soldiers in Turkey can go over there.”

“Why?”

“So we can be together. And so we can help them. At least until the government decides to bring them home.”

“Do you think she’s going to be able to make that happen?”

“Yeah, I think so. A lot of people at the fort look up to Mom these days.”

“Are you going?”

“It would give me a chance to get away from all of this,” Joey answered. “I could get away from Zero and the rest of those guys.”

Jenny was quiet for a time. “I think,” she said finally, “that might be the best thing you could do.”

“I know.” Joey focused on her. “Mom could arrange it so you could come with us.”

Jenny shook her head.

Joey squeezed her hand. “Please. I really want you to go.”

“I can’t.” Her voice sounded dry and husky, as if she was about to cry. “I’ve got to stay here. With my dad. He needs me.”

Silently Joey cursed his bad luck. He leaned back against the wall and stared at the darkened ceiling. “I can’t stay,” he whispered. “I just wanted you to understand.”

“And I can’t go,” she replied. “I hope you understand.”

Joey nodded.

“If things were different,” Jenny said, “I’d go.”

“If they were, I’d stay.”

“But they’re not,” she said.

Joey sat there and tried to think of something to say. The attraction he’d initially felt for Jenny had changed. It was no longer purely physical, but now it was stronger than anything he’d ever felt before. And he was being forced to walk away from her. It wasn’t fair.

“When your mom goes,” Jenny said, “you need to go with her. I don’t want you to get hurt. And your mom will need you. Those soldiers can use whatever help you can give.”

“I know.” Joey sat there quietly and held her hand. He didn’t want to think about leaving her. But he knew he couldn’t stay. He felt helpless and trapped.

And alone. Even though Jenny was sitting next to him, he was pretty certain she felt the same way. It was incredibly lousy.

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