THREE PALE LADIES WITH EYES AS BLANK AS STONE stepped forward at Blind Michael’s command, dressing me in tatters of green and gold silk and tying tiny chiming bells in my hair.
Their sisters descended on the other children, decking them in rags of gray and white. I gritted my teeth, trying to summon up the strength to move. And I couldn’t find it.
When they were satisfied with their work they lifted me up onto the back of a white mare. Green and gold ribbons were braided through her mane and tail, matching my gown, and she pawed the ground as I settled on her back, trying to step out from underneath me. She looked as terrified as I felt, and I couldn’t blame her. I’m not that familiar with horses, but even I could recognize the horse Katie had become. Her eyes were still too human.
I’m sorry, I thought, wishing I could say the words out loud. I didn’t mean to leave you, but they got me, too. Small comforts are sometimes all we have. She and I would suffer together. Forever.
The older children chosen to accompany us slipped out of the shadows in groups of one and two, dressed in shredded finery that accented the strange twists and curves of their bodies. They crossed the field, finding their horses and mounting in silence. Most of them had obviously done it before. How did they get so strange? What was going to happen to me?
The Centaur trotted over to stand by my horse, the web-fingered Piskie riding sidesaddle on his back. They were still nude, but now had ropes of red and gold silk knotted in their hair.
“Today we Ride,” said the Piskie, pleasantly. “Some of us will be Riders; some will not. Some will only change a little and return to the hall. This will be my fifth Ride.” I didn’t answer her. I couldn’t. She seemed to take my silence for fear, because she smiled. “You’ll Ride only once, but He promises us it will hurt.”
Giggling, the Centaur turned and cantered back to the throng of mounted children, taking her with him. They were happy. Lucky them.
And the Riders came. They were mounted on their twisted horses, armed and armored, and the difference between them and the children was as great as the difference between mountains and sand. They were more than lost; they’d gone willingly. One of them raised a horn, sounding three sharp notes, and Acacia rode out of the darkness, sitting as straight as the trees that were her children.
Willow branches were tangled in her hair, and under her cloak, she wore the same yellow and green rags as I’d been dressed in. The look she gave me was full of weary sorrow, but it wasn’t entirely without relief. She’d be free after the night’s work was done. Her horse was the color of new-cut wood, with a mane and tail that mixed all the reds, greens, and golds of autumn.
She rode to the front of the gathering, stopping with a crack as sharp and sudden as a branch breaking. Looking over us, she asked, “Who rides here?”
“Blind Michael’s Hunt, that sweeps the night,” called the Riders, in perfect unison.
“Who Rides here?” The stress was subtle, but it was there.
“The children who would join us; the children we have won, bargained for, and stolen.”
“Who do you ride for?”
“Blind Michael, who leads and loves us.”
“Who do you Ride for?”
“For the Hunt itself. The Hunt and the Ride and the night.”
Acacia shuddered, looking disgusted. I was fairly sure that wasn’t a part of the script. “Then you Ride tonight, and your lord rides with you.” She pulled her horse to rein, merging into the throng, and I saw her look toward me as she added, “May Oberon help you all.”
Blind Michael rode out of the same darkness, which suddenly seemed much darker. His armor was made of ivory and bone, polished mirror-bright, and his horse was vast and black with hooves of steel. I tried to tell myself that it was just an illusion, that he was nothing but another Firstborn, but it was too late. The glory of him slammed into me, and I was His.
He pulled His horse to a stop in front of us, smiling benevolently. I wanted to run to Him and bow, begging for His love, His attention—His blessing. Part of me knew it was nothing but an enchantment, but that didn’t matter. He was my god, as ancient and terrible as the sky, and I was His to abuse as He saw fit. I still couldn’t move, and that tiny, dying part of me was glad. He’d have my fealty soon enough. I didn’t have to give it to him before he took it from me.
“My children,” He rumbled, “lend me your eyes.” His words were my commandments. I closed my eyes, murmuring the incantation they taught me while I waited in the mist. I felt my vision fragment, and when I opened my eyes, I was looking at a remade world. Every member of the Hunt saw through my eyes, and I saw through theirs. Blind Michael was true to His name, but He’d found a way around His lack of sight: He saw through His children. All of us.
“And now, my children, now we Ride,” He said, and smiled, spreading the darkness in front of Him like a curtain as He turned His horse and urged it to a gallop. The Riders followed, dragging the captive children. They pushed their way past me, and I found myself falling back toward the rear of the herd. My thoughts cleared as Blind Michael drew farther away, giving my much-abused common sense a chance to scream. He wasn’t a god. He was a madman.
I didn’t have much control over my own body, but I might have enough to throw myself from the horse. If I fell hard enough, they’d have to leave me; I’d have until he Rode again to try to get away. I tensed, preparing to fall—and a passing Rider placed his hand on my back, urging me onward. It was too late. All my chances to escape were gone, blown out just like my candle. Game over.
The Ride made its way into darkness, flashes of the landscape flickering around us like Christmas lights. We weren’t riding in a real place. We were moving between the human world and the Summerlands, occasionally breaking out of the dark and into places I remembered. The docks flashed by, neon and tourists and the smell of salt; a cobwebbed forest filled with shifting faerie lights; the Castro, blaring dance music and the throng of bodies. The scenes shifted quickly, fading before there was time to sort one from the other.
My fractured vision magnified the strangeness of the landscape, the shared perspectives making it feel like I was watching the world through a prism. The individual viewpoints melted together as we Rode, making the world into something deeper and wilder than anything I’d seen before. It wasn’t natural yet, but I knew that it would be, when the Ride was done and Blind Michael took me as his bride. Oberon help me. We were nearing the end of our journey; I could feel it in the air, and every step we took brought me a little closer to being His. If I was already lost, why was I still so afraid?
We flickered back into the mortal world, racing down a street I knew: the road through the center of Golden Gate Park, flanked by jogging trails and tangled foliage. Pixies flashed past, pinpoints of light that did nothing to break the darkness. I’d never seen a night like this before. It was too unreal and half-drawn for the human world, too solid and bitter for Faerie. I’d never seen a night like this … but I’d never ridden with a mad Firstborn before, either. This was Blind Michael’s world.
The air got thick and hazy as we ran along the road, and we slowed. I braced myself, waiting for the darkness to return. We’d passed through more than half of the Bay Area; we had to be almost done, ready to finish our descent into the night.
The first Riders were almost to the crossroads when white light blazed ahead of us, reaching past the tops of the dark-tipped trees and drawing a circle around the center of the street. Blind Michael’s horse reared in terror. “Halt!” he shouted, and the Ride came to an uneven stop. I had no idea how to make Katie stop, and so she did it on her own, stumbling over her hooves, eyes wide and frightened. I wanted to lean forward to comfort her, but I couldn’t. All I could do was stare into the light.
The Riders looked as lost as I felt, pushing and snarling at each other as they queued up behind their lord. They were too frightened for this to be a part of the ritual. This was something new.
A voice from behind the light shouted, “For I will ride the milk-white steed, the nearest to the town! Because I was an earthly knight, they give me that renown!”
It took me a moment to realize why I knew those words. I’d always spoken them myself, or heard them sung, usually in my mother’s sweetly discordant voice as she coaxed me to sleep. Knowing the words didn’t make them make sense. Why was someone reciting the ballad of Tam Lin? Old Scottish fairy tales aren’t typical reading material for Halloween—of course. It was Halloween, the night for Rides and sacrifices, and Tam Lin ended with a faerie Ride on Halloween night. It was meant to be a sacrifice. It turned into a rescue.
Most people believe it’s just a story, but it’s not, quite; it happened a long time ago, before the Burning Times began. The Ride that was interrupted that night resulted in the loss of Queen Maeve and heralded the fall of the old Courts. I’ve never understood why my mother chose that song as her lullaby, our world began dying the night that ballad began. Janet waited for Maeve’s Ride at the crossroads, standing in the center of a circle cast for her protection. She was clever, she was careful, and she won the man who betrayed us all. Could the speaker be coming to stop this Ride the way Janet stopped that one? So who were they stopping it for?
“First let pass the black steeds, and then let past the brown,” the voice chanted. There was no arguing with that voice. The children around me were raising their heads, shivering and confused. “Quick run to the milk-white steed and pull the Rider down!”
Someone grabbed Katie’s reins. She reared, startled, and I fell.
I went limp, almost glad that I didn’t have enough control to catch myself or fight. Maybe I couldn’t run away, but that didn’t mean I had to save myself. Death would be better than survival in slavery.
“No, you don’t!” said a cheerful voice, grabbing me out of the air. An elbow slammed into my solar plexus, knocking the wind out of me, and we went tumbling through the light, into the circle that it defined. My captor twisted as we fell, making sure to cushion the blow when we hit the ground. Considerate kidnappers—that was a nice change. It was a pity I was too busy screaming to appreciate it. The light burned. It was like being shredded alive and reassembled by countless unseen hands, none of which were being very careful. Other voices were screaming around me, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the light. It didn’t help.
The eyes of the Ride kept feeding me images, showing the parade of children and Riders quailing from the fury of our mad god. I saw myself falling in the arms of a green-robed figure while smaller shapes held the reins of my horse, fighting her as she bucked to get free. Other children were falling, pulled down by figures of their own who dragged them into the light and wouldn’t let them go.
And I could see the woman standing at the circle’s edge, hands held in front of her, palms turned downward. She wasn’t tall, but something about her made her seem almost as vast as Blind Michael. Her hair fell in dark curls, like the waves of an angry sea; her eyes were white as foam, and she wore a gray robe stitched with patterns of mingled white and black that made the shared eyes of the Ride turn away. Only Acacia didn’t look away: she knew her, named her and showed her to me with a delight that was close to rejoicing. The Luidaeg.
Something woke in me that remembered how to hope, because I recognized her as soon as I knew her name—the sea witch, Blind Michael’s sister, who sent me to him in the first place. There were figures in the darkness behind her, but none of them mattered; the Luidaeg would save me if anyone could. I owed her, after all. She needed me alive to pay my debts.
I landed on my captor, shivering as the pain faded. The woman beneath me must have had an easier trip through the light than I did, because she was already stirring. Bully for her. She flipped me over as soon as I was breathing again, keeping her arms around my waist and pinning my legs with her knees.
“Sorry,” she said, in an almost familiar voice, “but I’m not letting you go.”
“That’s okay,” I managed. “I don’t think you’re supposed to.” The scene was still playing out behind my closed eyes, and I didn’t know who I wanted to win. I wanted to be free, but Blind Michael’s spell was strong. He still had my loyalty.
“What is the meaning of this?” demanded Blind Michael. The remaining procession shuddered behind him. Someone in the back whimpered and was silenced. All eyes were on their lord, and on his sister.
“Tonight is All Hallows’ Eve, and the faerie-folk Ride,” the Luidaeg said. “The Ride has rules, little brother. Did you forget? You can ignore them, but you can’t unmake them.”
“You have no right,” he snarled, and every word was like a knife in my heart. I threw back my head and screamed. I wasn’t the only one: all the children that had been pulled from their horses were screaming with me.
“Shhh,” hissed the woman above me. “Get past the pain. Grit your teeth and get past it. You can do it—I know you can.”
The Luidaeg waited for the screaming to stop before she said, “I have every right, little brother. Every right in both the worlds.”
“You aren’t allowed to interfere!”
“Not within your realm. We set those rules when we came here, and I’ve abided by them, even when it hurt to obey them, even when I saw you destroying everything you’d ever loved. I followed the rules. But you’re not in your realm now, little brother. You’re in mine.”
“My passage is allowed! I took nothing of yours!” This time his words were blows, not daggers. I whimpered.
“Didn’t you?” The Luidaeg’s voice was soothing, smoothing away the bruises her brother left behind. “You bargained for one you knew was under my protection; you couldn’t even wait for her candle to burn down. You took her while she still belonged to me.”
“All children are mine! The children are always mine.”
“Amandine’s daughter wasn’t a child when you took her. She’s not yours.”
“Mine!” he screamed. This time it wasn’t just the fallen that cried out: all the children writhed in pain, some of them falling off their horses as they tried to make it stop.
It hurt enough to fracture the spell that bound me, giving me control of my own body, but not my mind. It couldn’t destroy the urge to return to my lord and master. I was too pinned to move, and so I sobbed, beating my fists against my captor’s shoulders. I wasn’t escaping that easily, and secretly, I was glad.
“Not yours!” the Luidaeg snapped. The wind rose around her, churning her hair until she seemed to be the sea itself taking physical form and come to kick some serious ass. “Never yours. The Ride has rules, Michael, and you broke them first!”
“It’s not fair!” There was no fight in his words this time, just the petulance of a man who’d never been denied in all the centuries of his long, long life.
“Family, friends, and blood-tied companions have the power to break a Ride. They broke our mother’s Ride, when the Carter woman stole her sacrifice.” She didn’t sound angry; resigned and almost sorry, but not angry. “They broke hers. They can damn well break yours.”
“Who would come for her?” he snarled, rallying.
Behind me, a voice shouted, “Tybalt, King of Cats. My claim precedes yours.”
“Cassandra Brown, student physicist,” shouted another voice. “Give me back my aunt!”
“Quentin, foster of Shadowed Hills. You will give me back my friend and my lady!” I could hear hooves beating the ground in tandem with his words. He was the one who grabbed Katie’s reins. Oh, oak and ash. Little hero.
“Connor O’Dell! She’s my friend and you can’t have her!” Connor has always been that great cliché, a lover, not a fighter, but there was no fear in his voice. He was taking me home or he wasn’t going home at all.
They’d come for me? All of them? Titania wept. I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry. Challenging the Firstborn is never wise, not even when you have one of their number on your side, and you can never be really sure whose side the Luidaeg is on. It’s usually her own.
I didn’t think there was anything left that would surprise me. Then the woman pinning me shouted, “May Daye, Fetch!”
Opening my eyes, I found myself staring into a mirror. “May?” I squeaked. The split vision of the Ride was starting to fade, leaving me looking out of only my own eyes.
Familiar lips split in an unfamiliar smile. “In the too, too solid flesh,” she said.
“What the hell is going on?”
“We cast our compass ’round,” she said, looking past me. “Now we’ll pay for it.”
I craned my neck to follow her gaze. Blind Michael had dismounted. He walked to the edge of the circle and stopped, glaring. The Luidaeg was barely three feet away from him, shielded only by the light.
“Little brother, you’ve lost. Go home,” she said, gently. “Take the children you still have, and go. We won’t follow. I’ll keep Amandine’s daughter from chasing you, and when you Ride again in a hundred years, no one will remember this but you and I.”
“There are rules,” he answered. “I can try to take them back again.”
“You can, if you accept that you might lose them, and more, if you try,” she said. “Can you accept that fact?”
“I can.”
“Oh, Michael. You always were a fool.” The Luidaeg shook her head. “Start your games. Any who releases their quarry are lost; the rest are free to go.” She turned, her gown eddying around her in a wave, and May braced herself above me.
“May, what—”
“You rode the white horse. Now we’re finishing the song.” There wasn’t time to say anything more. Blind Michael turned toward me, raising his hand.
Transformation burns. I barely had time to realize I was being changed before it was done, and the weight of Blind Michael’s magic was forcing my mind to conform to my new shape. May was suddenly huge, pinning me to the ground with a bulk that exceeded my own by a factor of at least three.
I had to get away; I had to flee and fly or she was going to kill me and use my bones to pick her teeth. I knew it as well as I knew the shape of my wings and the feeling of wind over my feathers. I beat myself against her arms, hissing and jabbing at her with my beak. All that mattered was escape, no matter how badly I was hurt in the process.
Connor lunged forward, pinning my wings while May grabbed for my head. I kept struggling, but I was trapped. I couldn’t get away.
“And he will turn me in your arms into a swan so wild,” the Luidaeg said. Her voice broke through the fog around me, clearing the madness from my mind. I stopped fighting. Connor let go and May folded herself around me, holding me down. “But hold me tight, don’t let me go, and I will love your child.”
The world changed again. This time I was thin and smooth, with no wings to beat against my captor. I slithered halfway out of her grasp before she grabbed me behind the head, pinning me again. Someone screamed, and I heard Cassandra chanting, “I am not afraid of snakes I am not afraid of—oh God, I think she’s poisonous—snakes—”
I broke free and twisted around, sinking my fangs into May’s wrist. She winced but didn’t let go. “Damn it, Toby, don’t bite,” she said. “It’s rude.”
“And he will turn me in your arms into an asp and adder,” shouted the Luidaeg. I released May’s wrist and turned toward the sound, tongue scenting the air. “But hold me tight within your arms—I am your baby’s father!”
Things shifted again. I was suddenly larger than May, tall and vast and angry. She was clinging to my neck, hands clasped beneath my jaw. I roared and tried to claw her off, unable to think of anything but freedom. I had to escape. If I didn’t, something terrible would happen; something I didn’t understand but knew enough about to fear.
Then Tybalt was in front of me, pressing his hand against my nose. I subsided, growling at him. He merely looked amused, reaching up to scratch my ears as he chided, “Calm yourself, little lioness.” May took advantage of my confusion and got a tighter grip around my neck. I started to snarl, but stopped when Tybalt smacked me on the head. All cats belong to their King. For the moment, I was more his than Blind Michael’s.
“Good plan, Tybalt,” said May, face muffled against my neck.
“I thought so,” he said. He started scratching my jaw, and I sat down, wondering confusedly if lions could purr.
“And he will turn me in your arms into the lion’s might,” said the Luidaeg. I turned toward her, forgetting my fealty to Tybalt. “But fear me not, don’t let me go, and we’ll see through this night!”
Everything shifted again, and this time I couldn’t move; the world was nothing but May trying to fold herself around me, and heat—burning, searing heat. May screamed, and suddenly Connor and Tybalt were there, forcing her not to let me go.
In the distance, Cassandra and Quentin were screaming. They were probably in the same fix as May; if Katie had joined me in the realm of “really hot things,” they’d be forcing each other’s arms around her. Burns are bad, but somehow I thought letting go might be worse.
“And he will turn me in your arms into a burning sword,” the Luidaeg said. Her words cooled me; I still couldn’t move, but it felt like the arms around me were holding just a little closer. “Hold me tight, don’t let me go; I am your one reward.”
The world shifted for the final time, and I was myself, sandwiched between Tybalt, Connor, and May. A moment later, I realized that I was naked. Gee, that was an improvement. “Please let me go,” I said.
Tybalt smirked and stood, stepping back. Connor let go as well, turning away, but not before I saw him blush. May removed her cloak and threw it over me, pulling me further into the circle as she stood. Connor and May were covered in scratches and bites, and all three of them were singed, but no one seemed to be badly burned. There were two small punctures in May’s wrist where the snake—where I—had bitten her. I hoped Fetches were really immune to physical harm, or we were going to have a whole new problem.
Katie was crying in the distance, and I could hear Cassandra scolding Quentin. I allowed myself a small, tired smile. Looked like I wasn’t the only one who was myself again.
“And he will turn me in your arms into a naked knight,” the Luidaeg said. Then her tone changed, leaving the lyrics behind. “That’s it, little brother; you’ve lost, and by your own rules, you can’t touch them again.” Her robe had turned black, making her seem like a hole in the night. Blind Michael looked wraithlike beside her, all white and gleaming ash, with Acacia like a golden ghost beside him.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because you took her while she was mine.”
“And the human child?”
“Because everything is connected.” She shook her head. “Nothing is free.”
“I won’t forget this.”
“No,” she said sadly, and glanced toward me. “You never do, do you?”
I shrugged May’s hands away and moved to stand beside the Luidaeg, looking at my former captor. His Hunt was splayed behind him, children and Riders huddled in confusion, while behind me, those that had come to free their children wept with joy. Softly, I said, “I don’t forget either. And I never forgive.”
The Luidaeg looked down at me and smiled. Blind Michael didn’t say another word; he just turned, cloak billowing behind him as he walked back to his horse and mounted again. He led the remains of his Hunt into the night, and they faded away as they rode, dissolving into mist and shadows. Only Acacia stayed behind, watching them go.
“Well met, sister,” said the Luidaeg.
“For some of us. It’s good to see you,” Acacia said, still watching the Riders fade away. When the last of them was gone she turned to me, and smiled. “You did it. You’re free.”
“I’m as surprised as you are,” I said, pulling May’s cloak more tightly around myself. “Are you going with him?”
“Yes. I am.”
“Why? He was ready to replace you.” I wasn’t sure what that would have meant for her. I was certain it wouldn’t have been good.
“I’ve taken this Ride too many times; I have no other roads.” She shook her head, looking to the Luidaeg. “Blind Michael is my lord and husband. I follow him.”
“You don’t have to,” I said.
“Don’t I?” Acacia smiled. “There isn’t anything for me in these lands.”
“Nothing?” asked the Luidaeg.
“Mother?” said a voice behind me. It was soft, almost afraid. Acacia froze, her gaze going over our heads as she stiffened. I turned, watching as Luna stepped out of the darkness.
She walked over to the Luidaeg’s other side, and stopped, pulling back her hood. She looked tired, and there were circles under her eyes that hadn’t been there when I’d seen her last. What had she paid to put me on the Rose Road? But her eyes were still brown, and silver-furred fox ears still crowned her head. There were roses in her hair, perhaps in acknowledgment of what she’d been, once upon a yesterday. “Mother,” she repeated.
“Luna,” Acacia whispered, raising one hand. Her fingers touched the edge of the circle, and she recoiled. “I … oh, Luna. I can’t reach you.”
“I know,” Luna said. “You’re too much part of Father’s kingdom. The circle is warded against his magic.”
“I know.”
“We could pull you through …”
“And what? Change me the way you’ve changed yourself? Free me from him? Would you hold me when I bit and struck and burned you? Would you cover my nakedness and set me free?”
“Yes.” Luna’s answer left no room for argument.
Acacia smiled. The expression was bittersweet. “I believe you. I’ve missed you so much, little rose.”
“I missed you, too.”
“Come home.”
“No.”
“I didn’t think you would.” Her smile softened, saddening. “I hear you’ve married.”
“Yes, I have. He loves me, despite everything.” Luna glanced at me. I looked away.
“He’s clever. Love matters.” Acacia’s smile faltered. “I’ve always loved you.”
“Come home.”
“No.” Acacia stepped back. “Now we’ve both asked, and both refused. I miss you, my dear one. I’ll always miss you, just as I’ll always love you. And now I follow your father.”
“Mother—”
Acacia shook her head and walked back to her horse, remounting. Luna started to follow, but the Luidaeg put out an arm, stopping her. “No,” she said. “You can’t go after her.”
“But—”
“No.” Acacia was already riding away, fading as she gathered speed. The Luidaeg lowered her arm. “We can’t save them if they don’t want to be saved. It doesn’t work that way.”
Luna stared at her for a long moment, then whirled with a small, choked cry and hugged me fiercely. I realized with vague surprise that she was crying. “I thought I let him take you forever,” she whispered. “After everything he’s taken … I thought he took you too.”
I shivered and leaned against her, closing my eyes. After everything that had happened, I wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t.